I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, July 02, 2012

What in the hell does a girl have to do to get a spanking around here?

I have two posts I want to write, one about our great vacation and the other having to do with the title here.  Obviously, I’m going with the latter for the moment.  I’m frustrated.  I have a feeling I’m that there are others out here that sometimes feel this way.

Geeze – think of all the men out there who are dying to spank a woman, but they are afraid to bring it up to their wife or girlfriend.  And here we are, some of us with our tongues hanging out, longing and practically betting for a good spanking and we’re getting nothing!

So what can I do? I’ve not done well on the weight loss lately.  But if I come up with any flimsy excuse then there’s no spanking.   I go to bed after midnight sometimes, he’s asleep and doesn’t notice.  I’ve actually done some laundry and a tiny bit of cleaning lately so there’s not as much on that front.  This being darn near perfect is wearing on me.

Maybe I should tell him I’d like to be spanked!  Wow! I should have thought of that earlier! Hey I know, maybe I could write a blog – telling Nick that I love being spanked and that I really wish he would do that more. Oh wait, that doesn’t work either.

So what’s a girl to do? Sure, sure I could just say “Nick, I will you please spank me.”  I’m sure he probably would.  But I don’t like  begging, no one wants a mercy spanking.

Badass and Wimpy have been debating whether or not I should post this. There conversations go something like this.

Wimpy: You know damn good and well he’s not going to spank you unless he’s in the mood to make love.  Then he’ll pop your butt a few times and then move on.  That’s fine with me, leave him alone.

Badass: It’s not enough!  I love being spanked when we make love, but that shouldn’t be the only time.  We do great when we make love.  We usually go all out and its super, but I need some spanking just for the hell of it.  It doesn’t have to take a lot of time and energy, just some thought on his part.

Wimpy: Will you shut the hell up!  If you post this and he reads it, he’s gonna bust my ass.  He’ll try to make up for the lack of spanking all at once – too hard, too long and you’ll run the hell off and leave me to take it.  And then after that he’ll just forget about it again.  Just leave it alone!

Badass: If I don’t say something how’s he ever going to know?

Wimpy:  You’ve told him a million times.  He tired of hearing it. He's fine with the way things are, you know, so drop it all ready.

Badass:  NO! It’s too important to me to drop it.  He’s got a month off do you know how much I’d like to have a sore butt for even a short span of time.  I mean as perfect as I am, can’t he can come up with something he could spank me for!  Hell, he can make something up.  Do you know it’s been years since I’ve had so much as even one tiny bruise? I bet I haven’t had 2 spankings in one day since the beginning.

Wimpy: All you’re gonna do is get him pissy.  He’s gonna spank you too hard for me to take.  Can you at least remind him to use a warm up, change implements often?  Maybe let me leave my clothes on some of the time.  Get him to alternate between short really hard spankings and longer ones that aren’t so very hard?

Badass: He doesn’t listen to me either.  PK and I told him and wrote this post outlining things pretty darn well I thought.  You know what came of it – nothing. I know he love all three of us (PK, Badass, Wimpy).  I just wish we could turn him into a spanko.

Sign, such conversations go on in my head every day. I'm used to the two of them squabbling it's just that sometimes get to feeling like I don't care if Nick spanks anymore or not. I try not to think about it so much, but when I don't think about it I feel myself slipping away.  Retreating, and when that happens I start feeling really disconnected from Nick.  That's discouraging and I just slip further away.

 I don’t know what to do about it.   Nick and I are really getting along great right now. He does spank some. The kitchen is taking up a lot of his time and thoughts.  I really shouldn’t be picking on him now, but this is the way I'm feeling..  Maybe I’ll just leave him a note on the mirror one morning that says – “One of us is going to get their butt whipped today.  You can pick which one.”


  1. PK,
    all this frustration is getting me down, and it's ruining the weather.
    We're having the worst Summer on record.
    It won't be a mercy spanking, it could be a stress breaker, a centring spanking, a just because spanking.
    There is a whole Smörgåsbord of possible spankings, so gag Wimpy and tell Bad-ass to use her imagination.
    Love and warm hugs,

    PS, just my 10 cents worth. LOL.

  2. Yes, very good idea, the note on the mirror, only don’t do it “one morning” , do it this morning.
    Much better idea than thinking about all the men out there who might be dying to spank. You wouldn’t like to be spanked by them and you know it. So leave them be.
    Now about getting that much needed spanking.
    It really saddens me to see you so sad about this. But why do you allow Wimpy to come up with even a flimsy excuse? Nick, being a non-spanko cannot help it, but he is always doubting that you really want to be spanked and even the flimsiest excuse will tell him: No, real deep down, she doesn’t want it. Call it topping from the bottom, but you have to remind him of the deal: You messed up with the dieting, he has to spank. No excuses from you, no excuses from him.

  3. I hope he reads your post and will see how important it is to you. I look forward to hearing about your vacation. For what it is worth...I like the title of the post. (I've had similar thoughts!)

  4. He has been kinda busy lately with the kitchen revamp. A note on the mirror one morning that says – “One of us is going to get their butt whipped today. You can pick which one.” made me laugh.

    You should try it.


  5. Oh, PK the troubles we have trying to get a spanking. It is so frustrating. I hope you have more success than I have been having lately. I'm ready to get a tee shirt or some of those shorts that say
    Spank Me.

  6. Ok I can no longer read your blogs at work I get strange looks. I was laughing so hard I was almost in tears. The wimpy here was cheering your wimpy on and the badass here was jumping up and down yelling that is what I am talking about. Let me know what it gets you. :-)

  7. Sigh............ If only we had easy answers to these same old issues....


  8. Love the note on the mirror, lol.

    Does there really need to be a reason? One might be nice, but there are times when they just need to do it already :)

    Maybe you could leave notes on the extra paint stirrers :)

  9. Try telling him that you need to reconnect with him. You want the reminder of your roles. It usually works for me. Or help him paint...... a few paint splatters might get his attention.

  10. PK: I hope you put that note up on the mirror.

    And instead of going to bed when he's asleep, how about leaning over the bed with your butt in the air when he comes to bed? Do you think he will get the hint?


  11. Anonymous10:05 PM

    Maybe you can write him a note saying you are hiring him to give you a spanking, then say if he doesn't want the job.....maybe one of the kitchen workers......!
    Nah that might not go to well, then again...

  12. ROFL - “One of us is going to get their butt whipped today. You can pick which one.”

    Hope you get what you want soon!

  13. I agree w paul. Tell him u need a stress relief spanking. Or a grounding/centering one. Rework ur agreement so u hv regular/maintenance ones... Do SOMETHING or else u'll go mad!

    Good luck.

  14. Paul,
    Didn’t mean to get you down. You know it helps me to come here and complain every now and then. We’ll muddle on. I know Nick really does have a lot on his mind right now. I’ll get Badass thinking more – she’ll come up with something.

    You’re right there – I meant in in the way skinny people could eat all the donuts they want and don’t even bother! LOL! Nick is my one and only whether he spanks or not.

    I have never figured out why I make excused when I really want to be spanked? Instinct? Self-preservation? I am going to have to stress the deal with him about the diet thing again. I lost 40 pounds when we first began all this, then gained it back when he stopped spanking – that wasn’t the reason I gained, but still.

    I figure most of us out her would recognize the title as something we’ve said to yourself. About the vacation soon.

    I will definitely put up the note – but today would not have been the day. Cabinets went in, eventually, and I can just tell this isn’t the time to ‘have a talk’. I think he would just be annoyed with me, not the spanking kind of annoyed – just annoyed. But it will happen!

    Or maybe we could just tattoo our butts!

    I’ve missed you. Just glad to know you’re still reading. Wimpy and Badass – they argue all the time and I just try to referee.

    Yep, with all of us out here, if you and I could find the answer and bottle it, we could both quit work.

    I don’t care if there is a reason or not either. I just thought that might help him out a little, get him started so to speak. Writing that on a paint stick might be a pretty good idea.

    I’ll need to say something, cause we are the closest when he is spanking regularly. It’s not that we’re having any problems or anything, I’m just greedy and want that extra closeness.

    Not a bad idea, we just have very different bedtime schedules. Our best playing / spanking time is usually daytime.

    LOL! I don’t think he fall for that for a second. He’s my one and only spanker. He just needs a nudge every once in a while.

    Thanks Cat,
    I hope so too. I hope you’ll be back.

  15. Fondlers Anon,
    I'll tell him. I think he has more stress then I do since I'm off for the summer. Hopefully he will take his stress our on my butt!

  16. Anonymous1:44 AM

    Holy Crap!?! Did I write this?? Cuz this sounds just like me!!! I think you might have one more alter-ego...ME!!!! So nice to know I'm not the only one. Hope our HoHs get in the game, and 'get it' about us Spankos. It's not that difficult! C'MON!

  17. Anon,
    I hope you'll come back again. Often we just need to commiserate together!

  18. Anonymous3:59 PM

    i think we all have times like this....im doing the same thing, thinking of all sorts of ways to get into trouble to get a spanking, but he is very wary because of my broken arm - which is not healing :( - but then when he does threaten a spanking, i wimp out because its been so long since i had one lasy - April!
    im sure nick will oblige...i know we are not supposed to brat for a spanking, but when we do and we get that spanking, then it feels more deserved because we did play up for it, rather than asking for one - its a whole different mind set eh? so my vote - brat and brat and brat until he gives you what bratting deserves ...good luck
    love and hugs kiwi xxx

  19. Kiwi,
    So good to hear from you. So sorry to hear that your arm isn't doing as it should. What's going on. I know typing can't be easy right now I wish you would talk it slow - but post something to let us all know how you're doing. You can take your time writing it you know. Hope things improve soon. So you can start getting those spankings again.

  20. I like your ending line. :-) I so hear you and I empathize sincerely. I'll talk to your husband if you'll talk to mine.

  21. It's not the same if you have to ask for it. That is not him having the control you need. Asking is embarrassing and a mercy spanking isn't very satisfying. What happened to him keeping his end of the bargain? How do they "forget"? I understand why you feel down and figure he just doesn't care. (I know things are up and down through the years. I'm just responding to THIS post)
    Rosie Dee