I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Gotta Rant!

An email from a friend got me all stirred up about this topic so pardon me while I rant but I am just so mad. I want to know where the rest of the world gets off thinking that what we enjoy and the lifestyle we chose makes us some type of sicko that should not be accepted in polite society!

Many people enjoy massages; often they pay big bucks to have a stranger give them a massage. They talk about how good it felt and how relax they felt afterwards. If their friends, family and colleagues have any thoughts on the matter most would think, “Yeah, a massage would be great”. I hate massages! Often people I barely know come up behind me and start rubbing my shoulders. It hurts likes hell! I want to scream at them. If I say anything about not wanting them digging their digits into the muscles near my neck I get a strange look and something like “You don’t LIKE that? There must be something wrong with you! You are way too tense”!

I see people at the gym lifting weights so heavy they look as though they are going to tear a muscle. Runners and cyclist are taught to run or ride through the pain for the benefits on the other side. Huge men are paid bazillion dollars to slam into one another to get a ball moved down a field. All of these people are engaging in activities, by their own choice, that both hurt like hell and are activities that some other would never ever want to do. Yet they are considered normal. People will let them talk about what they enjoy doing and it’s even acceptable to encourage other to at least give it a try.

I enjoy being spanked. I love the sting, I love the afterglow, I love the achy soreness the next day, I love the feeling of release, I love the emotional closeness I feel with my husband, I love everything about it!! Spanking is good for my physical, mental and emotional well being. I am not even encouraging others to try it. I am just saying it is a wonderful thing in my life!

So how come I would be the one to possible lose my job if my superiors were to discover that I blog about it. At best I could expect to be ridiculed, thought of as unnatural or perhaps perverted. I’TS NOT FAIR! I am just as normal as those who like massages, lift weight, run or play football. But no, our desire is strictly taboo. I want to stand up and yell “I’m damn mad and I’m not going to take it anymore” instead I have to sit here and type “I’m damn mad and there is not a damn, friggin thing I can do about it!”

And if you don’t mind if I rant on, another topic we are discussing on our blog is about our sex life. This would also make our friends and family gasp in horror and heap embarrassment on us. WHY? If I was reading blogs to improve my cardiovascular system that would be fine, if my boss or family found out they would be proud of me. I could ask all the question I wanted to and gathering all the information I could. But if I want to learn about my sexuality, if I want to learn more about how this part of my body how it works and ways to improve or enhanced the quality of an orgasm – oh my, heaven forbid!! And speaking of heaven, God created our bodies and included in the female special added features strictly for pleasure having nothing to do with reproduction. So evidently He intended for us to enjoy this part of our lives. There is nothing wrong with researching how our bodies are supposed to work.

We are talking about sex and spankings on our blogs. I am not standing on the street corner yelling these things at folks that do not want to hear it. If you do not want to hear my opinions on these topics you wouldn’t have read this far. I know that none of us are embarrassed in the least by what we read or write yet we are all afraid of others finding out, because others won’t understand. I want my blog to remain a secret. Not only would I have to live with the embarrassment if it were discovered, my family would also. But if anyone I know does find my blog and tries to make me feel guilty or threats to tell others I am going to print this post off, shove it in their face and tell them to kiss my ass!

My friends, I thank you for allowing me a place for my rant. I knew I would be safe here.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Say... What about S?

S was fun with some of my favorite word of all time in here. And my gratitude for all things seems to be growing by leaps and bounds these days!

Son – Each of my children is a delight and a joy in my life. As I watch this creature I gave birth to become a man my delight in life continues.

Squirm – What a delicious feeling! Whether from a look, a touch or something I am reading it is always a wonderful feeling.

Snow -- I don't care what Eva says. I love snow and it gets me out of work!

Sensuality – An entirely new feeling for me and I love it.

Submission – What volumes have been written to explain what this is and why we embrace it to greater and lesser degrees. It is a feeling for me and one I am still working on.

Swollen – Face it some things feel great when swollen!

Safe – This life style makes me feel safe. I am no longer alone as I often felt. I have a partner who loves me and I feel safe.

Sight – To be able to see the beauty all around us. To see the faces of those we love. To read and write with ease. This is an amazing sense.

Salt – I eat way too much and I love it.

Sarcasm —My old buddy. My friend. My salvation in most situations and an invaluable and necessary teaching tool.

Sar – The writing of this fascinating women can cause me to completely lose track of time and the world around me as I become totally absorbed in the world she share with her readers.

Swing –Minds out of the gutter. I still love to find a good swing and fly toward the sky as I did as a child.

Sex—I was going to say duh. But after Grace’s wonderful post I want to stop and give more credit to this wonderful gift that I have only recently learned to be grateful for.

Spanking –If this isn’t on you list you definitely deserve one, now go back and add it!

School – My livelihood, a source of joy and frustration.

Scripture – Now if you want to do some good reading, please let me direct you…

Sigh -- So many way to think of this and I am thinking of all the good one.

Spread eagle – Do I really need to explain?

I Love It!

Well how do you like the new look. I told you I would be working hard this weekend! Oh, I can’t even type that with a straight face! You are obviously looking at another masterpiece created by the lovely, brilliant and multi-talented CeeCi!! I took most of her day yesterday but she tells me she enjoyed herself and since I believe her to be a woman of her word I will just thank her again! I hope if there is anything she ever needs that I can provide she will just let me know. I have the bail money stashed away but of all my friends out here somehow I feel CeeCi with be the last to have need of it. As for many of the rest of you, I’ll be expecting your call!

CeeCi as I told you by email you are an angel and I love you!!! Thanks a million!

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Early Morning Naked Gymnastics

This will be a bit of rambling and not nearly as exciting as the title would indicate. First you need to know about one rule in our house that in my mind should never be broken. It ranks up there with the sun rising in the east and setting in the west. The rule is - Nick always gets out of the bed first!!

This started out naturally enough when we were first married. He had to be at work at 6:30 AM and I had to go in at 9:00. He had mentioned, before we were married, that his mother always got up and fixed his dad a big hot breakfast before he went to work. I, of course, asked if he thought she would get up early enough to come to our house and do that. But that didn't seem to be what he was hoping that I would get from that particular story. When it finally dawned on me that he was hoping that I might do something along this line, I offered to rise up on one elbow and point toward the kitchen. Actually that never happened, I just slept.

I am not the only one to depend on Nick rising first. The paper carrier depends on him too. It throws the poor man off on the rare occasions when I have gotten up first. When Nick gets up first the paper carrier always throws the paper on the arm of my chair where it belongs. But when I get up first the dummy throws it way out at the end of the carport! This is extremely inconvenient on cold or wet mornings. I was a bit worried about this when Nick got laid off for a while last year. What would the poor paper carrier do? Nick being the good guy that he is still got up before me. The paper carrier was happy, the paper landed on my chair and I was happy too because Nick often had breakfast ready when I got up.

Last night was a wonderful night. Mollie actually got to sleep early we felt comfortable making a bit of noise so the locked brief (aka toy chest) case came out and there was a small fun spanking followed by some great loving, so great we neither one had the energy to put away all the toys. No problem, Nick is an early riser and Mollie is a typical teenager and is never awake before 10:00 on a Saturday.

But the bed felt so good this morning, and he felt so good, and he felt me up so good that one thing lead to another and it was a real good morning. But we drifted back off to sleep, not late - 8:30, but that's very late for Nick and of course it never occurred to me to get up first. Panic did not ensue until he headed for the shower and I heard him talking to Mollie! I knew if she was up that early she was headed to my room. All I could thing of was 'Keep her talking, honey' So in a panic I am flipping across the bed, buck naked, throwing toy in and slamming the lid and twisting the locks. Fast as I could I flipped back, with my butt up in the air as I tried to get the case back under my side of the bed and my butt back under the covers before I had company. I am really not used to gymnastics when I first wake up but it was worth the effort. Mollie came in for a quick good morning without the trauma of the knowledge that her parent's collection of spanking sex toys were feet away . I taumatize the poor child enough by teaching at her school, this is a trauma she can do without!

Friday, October 27, 2006


I have spent this evening asking more questions about more things than my entire 6th grade class has this year. Could be because I am more interested in my topics that my students are about fractions. Go figure? I am playing with my blog this weekend so it might not be very interesting and it may appear and disappear as I try to figure everything out.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006


It hasn’t taken Eva and me long to find one other thing we have in common. We are perfect. I don’t mean to brag it’s just that, try as we might, we can’t do anything to make our husbands mad. We have been married too long, they like us too much. We fear our longing for discipline just won’t ever happen because they think we are perfect and truly who are we to argue with them, they are HOH after all so they must be right!

Eva brags, she said that she used to know how to make Adam mad (that’s just her showing off) but now she has lost her touch. I never learned how in the first place. For the first 23 years I didn’t see any need to make Nick mad and now that I might find it interesting I have had no practice, I just don’t know how.

Will we ever know the joy of a suddenly pissed husband who grabs us for a quick hot little spanking to show us whose boss? Probably not, you can’t argue with perfection!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Cyber Buddies

Eva talked about how friendships develop out here. I know this is the thing that stunned me the most. I came here looking for spanking stories and for spanking pictures. I was not looking for friends, I was looking for anonymity. I never planned for my husband to ever know I had looked up spanking on the internet. I knew I was never going to tell him. All I really wanted from the internet was something that would partially satisfy my longing for my ultra secret desire. I knew I would never have the nerve to ask for it in real life. Reading about it, seeing some pictures was as far as my imagination could take me. I didn’t know anything else was a possibility.

Thank God, and I mean that sincerely, things didn’t work out as I had planned. I have friends in real life. I like the people I work with, we have some couples that we go out with. But close, really close, friends you can talk to about anything – well, this type of friend become very scarce as you get older. The new friendships I have found here came totally out of the blue. I never expected these new friends and I never expected to find a twin.

I think it makes me feel young. Eva and I laugh about feeling like we are in middle school again. It’s like we all run home every day and get on the computer (like we used to get on the phone when we were kids) to see what everyone has to say or what they have done all day. We talk about sex, hopefully more accurately than we did in junior high. We discuss what we are doing with our boyfriends, and what we want our boyfriends to do to us. We have pity parties and rants and celebrations. We all even have a crush on the same boy, Paul! So yes, I feel young out here making friends. I feel excited. I want to get together and have that sleep over I suggested to Grace. Now that would really be fun! Maybe someday.

But until that time I want to thank all my new friends, that includes lots of people these days, all those who’s blogs I comment on or folks I email. I have read on the internet several times that the definition of a friend is someone who will bail you out of jail, but a really good friend is someone who will bail you out, drive you home and say “Damn that was fun!” I think have made some really good friends!

Monday, October 23, 2006

R you ready of Tursday?

Tuesday again folks! Tons and tons of R’s but in a way that makes it harder that Q. I try to pick some I am really grateful for. Thanks again CeeCi!

Risks – I owe a great deal to being able to take a risk. Things like an overwhelming love for my husband, an entire new lease on life and the best friends I have made in 20 years.

Restaurant – Remember, I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.

Rules – You have to have a few just so you can break them once in a while.

Reckless/ reveal – Actually this one is for Maggie!! Be reckless girl; reveal your desires to MrC!!

Rain – I love the rain, especially summer rains, but any good storm will do. Of course I don’t want to have to go out in it, I just want to watch.

Records – CD are great, but I loved my old records. I still have my old 45, since I just found them at my mom’s house. The old record albums were such a big part of my teens and twenties. I miss the large album covers.

Recliners – I sit in my recliner and blog away, before I blogged I sat here and read novels, or watched TV, or slept, or talked on the phone, or held the kids on my lap. My recliners over the years have been good buddies.

Read – I do love to read. Our house is overflowing with books and I know there were thousand’s of books at Mom and Dad’s.

Remote control – I know only a few of us admit to watching TV, but for those of us who do, this is the greatest invention!

Reduce – I’ve tried it, I like it and I want to keep doing it.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Ladies Choice

When it comes to weight loss this week I have great news, bad news and more great news! First great news Nick sent me an email Friday morning saying that he was really proud of me for the overall weight loss of about 14 pounds in 3 months. It’s not flying off but it didn’t fly on either. He said when I got home that after reading Todd and Suzy that he might not have been as forthcoming with rewards as he could have been (thanks guys for getting him thinking!). He said Friday night would be ladies choice! Mollie was at a pj party so the house was ours.

We were in no hurry we ate supper and watched a bit of TV. He brought me a glass of wine, though I don’t usually drink at all but it was nice. He went back to the bedroom and called for me in a bit. He had soft lighting, scented candles a very nice setting! On the bed he had laid out most of my favorite toys. He said I could chose any or all and pick the order of their use but once I chose all I could tell him was when to switch to the next one. This was a wonderful idea because it meant things could go on for as long as I liked!!

I started off with one of Grace’s favorites the paint stirrer. And though I don’t remember the exact order he used the flogger, the small wooded paddle, the leather paddle, the crop he made and his belt. It was superb! The only bad new about the whole deal was that I actually had gained some this week. According to Nick’s chart, however, I am still under the line because I lost over 2 pounds last week. But he decided to finally wrap up the spanking with his choice – the big, mean wooden paddle that he made. So I got 10 of his best to make sure I was going to stay focused on the overall goal. Well that lit a fire on a well spanked bottom!

After that it was just a swirl of wonderful sex, cuddling, touching, vibrators and plugs. Sensations on sensations! We did anything we could think of and then some. What a fantastic evening! As we went to sleep all curled together I had an old, soon to be forgotten memory float past. It was of a time when I always wore a nightgown to bed and slept on my edge. It was a time I did not want sex and I was going to avoid touch if I could. What a change, even in our sleep we seek each other out, he touches me all during the night and I love every minute of it. This is the best thing about winter coming!

And my last bit of wonderful news occurred today. I ended up at the mall with 4 eighth grade girls to celebrate Mollie’s birthday. I actually ditched them quickly (although they thought it was the other way around) to do some shopping myself. I got new pants and they were 2, let me repeat that, 2 sizes smaller than I have been wearing! I think I am going to take the plunge and get rid of clothes as I out grow them. I have never done that before, just tucked them back in the closet. Now they are leaving because I’m not going back.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

How did you get here?

Hello everyone – and I mean everyone. I have a question for all my friends and also any lurkers that drop by. My question is how in the world did you get here? I am assuming for those of you with your own blogs you didn’t wake up one morning and say “Well I have a free afternoon; I think I’ll start writing a spanko sex blog!” I want to know what drew you to the internet in the first place. What were you looking for? What did you find? How long did you lurk? What pushed you to start your own blog?

I started looking for spanking stories and pictures several years ago. Found some interesting stories, they were fine but nothing earth shattering. I dropped it for several years and then last spring I just thought I would look again. That’s when I found My Bottom Smarts and Bonnie. I had no idea what it was. As far as I knew blogging was something teenagers did on the computer. I read everything on Bonnie’s site and it was several day before I even saw the little place at the bottom of each post that said “comments”. So I clicked on it and was surprised again to realize that this was a back and forth type of communication with real people. I soon branched out to other sites. I was dying to leave a comment. Everyone was talking about a topic that I had thought about for years!! I had to get in on it!

I could see the comment box. I could see that there was a place to click so that I could comment anonymously. I knew what it said but I couldn’t help believe that if I left a comment, even anonymously, my name, address, age, weight, sexual preferences, and mother’s maiden name would show up on every computer monitor in the free world along with my picture with the word ‘pervert’ written across it. Well maybe not every monitor, but at least my boss, my colleagues, my preacher, my husband and my in-laws (and they don’t even have a computer). Can you say paranoid? But finally I could stand it no longer. I left a comment and waited. Two amazing things happened: the sex police did not show up and Bonnie posted a response to my comment. That was it, I was hooked.

I branched out to Nothing Random, Cassie’s Space, A Spanking Good Time and A Day in the Life. It wasn’t long until I leaped in with both feet and got a blog of my own. I love it, love it. I thought I was just going to get to read and write about spankings. I had no idea I would find such wonderful friends. There are people here in all stages of this life style. Bonnie, Cassie and Sar all their married life, Eva, Tiggr and Grace on and off for several years, I only came out 6 months ago, Lily more recent than that, Theresa and Suzq beginning new relationships, and Maggie – what are we going to do about Maggie! She hasn’t told her husband yet. She deserves a spanking for dragging her feet so!! I’ve met CeeCi and Paul two of the smartest people I know. I add more sites often, Todd and Suzy, Anne Elizabeth and others I will think of as soon as I post.

When I went looking for spanking stories and pictures I never expected to find friends much less Eva, my twin sister (except for the age difference and the fact that we have different parents)! So friends how did you get here? Let me know here or on your blog some time. For those of you lurking you are most welcomed any time. When you feel comfortable please leave a comment. Its fun, it’s private, and you will find friends here.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Brat meme for Tiggr

I couldn’t make it on the trip for Tiggr so I thought I would do her brat meme while she was away.

Is your sink always full of dirty dishes? No, we got the dishwasher fixed!

Is your car in the driveway because it won’t fit in the garage? We don’t have a garage.

Are you late a lot? Nope, never. I have to be there at least 10 minutes early.

Are your credit cards out of control? Nope again, if they don’t get paid off each month I have heart palpations.

Do you love animals? Duh! I worked for a vet for 8 years and loved hundreds of pets over the years.

Are you afraid of some of the stuff in your fridge? YES! I am afraid I am going to have to cook it!

Do you like surprises? Not really. I do better if I know what’s coming.

Is your laundry backed-up? Wait, I’ll go ask Nick or Mollie.

Are you creative? I can be, but my art has been put on hold for blogging at the moment.

Are you overweight? I think so a little.

Do you scrounge for receipts on April 14? Nope the ones I need to keep are filed away.

Do you like pretty things? Sort of, I am not real girlie, but I like things like quilts and that type of pretty things.

Do you love life in spite of the mess you are in? I love life and I don’t think I am in a mess at this time.

Do you like to please? I do like I please and Nick pleases, no one else.

Do you use the “but” word? Not much anymore, but Theresa had the best answer to this questions.

Do you like celebrations? Not great big ones, but with family and a few close friends, Yes!

Are you still paying for the gym you don’t go to? No I usually go 2 to 3 times a week.

Do you love children? Most of them.

Is it hard for you to say, “NO?” Hell no, not any more!

Are you spontaneous? Not as much as I want to be.

Do you “over-goal?” No I just take life as it comes.

Are you always looking for your keys? No, Nick put me up a hook and I always hang them up.

Are you afraid of your mailbox? No, my son has started using snail mail. I get real letters.

Are you often over-drawn? Not in the past few years.

Are you a procrastinator? I try to procrastinate but sometimes I don’t get around to it.

Do you have too much stuff? YES! My stuff, my parents stuff, my uncles stuff, my kids stuff, I think everyone stores their stuff here.

Do you like decorations? I love to see it, but I am not much good at doing it.

Are you a perfectionist? Not in any way shape or form!

Do you love to play? I you are referring to a good spanking as playing, then you better know I do!

Do you know WHAT to do, but don’t do it? Got to say yes on this one!
© Copyright

Monday, October 16, 2006

Q Day

My son knows that I blog. He thinks it hysterical and swears he is someday going to write a book entitled “My Mom’s a Blogger”. He thinks we are a bunch of sweet little ladies only discussing our children and cooking tips. He was here last Monday and I took him shopping. On the way back he I said I had to get to get to the computer. He wanted to know what was so important so I told him it was ‘P’ day on Tuesday and that was the day we listed thing we were grateful for beginning with P.

You can imagine the look I got from an 18 year old boy. The look was half superior, half condescending as he reached over to pat my leg and said “Mom you’re so lame.” I content myself with knowing he could possible have a psychotic break if he ever reads what if actually write. So as the lame mother of 2 teenagers, I will begin my Q’s:

Quickie- I know we all love the long, slow-paced, loving, passionate afternoon into evenings, but lets not for get the joy of an unexpected quickie!

Quilt – I know I used this last week too, but I do so love quilts. I love the color, the texture and the history of a quilt. As it gets colder and colder I love them more and more.

Qualm - If we didn’t have qualms about some of the things we like all this spanking would lose some of its mystery.

Questions – I love to ask questions of other, it’s what I do for a living. Its fun when people as me questions, especially if I don’t have to answer if I don’t want to.

Quote - I have a book where I write quotes I like. My sister (who writes fan fiction on for the X-Files on the internet) has the following quote from Robert Heinlein on all her emails to me

“Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.”

I think of that more and more as I write!

Quiver- That delicious feeling you get when your lovers tongue touches you anywhere.

Quintuplet- I am so grateful that I didn’t have them!

Quirt- This is a special leather riding whip of braided leather with a short handle. See the things you learn blogging.

Quietude – I love the feeling of peace and tranquility this can bring on. ‘Quiet’ is not a normal in my life and when I get it I treasure it.

Quirk- We all have our own quirks and we have all made each other feel comfortable about at least one of them.

That’s about all this lame mother has to offer today. I am looking forward to everyone’s Q’s.

Sunday, October 15, 2006


All of you know that I have been whining and griping about what I want. Nick has been reading too. When Mollie decided to go home with a friend Friday afternoon it seemed like a good omen. Nick had sent me a nice email earlier in the day so I was excited about the evening. We went out for a light supper and came home to an empty house. We headed to the bedroom and Nick held out the blind fold. I was happy to put it on but when we laid down together Nick wanted to talk. I think most of us out here feel we write better than we talk. I know I do, so I was a bit at a disadvantage. The conversation wasn’t really what I wanted to hear.

I know what he was saying was true. He talked about the idea of being in charge. While he wasn’t totally opposed he wasn’t completely in favor of it either. He said that it is difficult to change gears after 23 years of being equal partners to suddenly start telling me what to do. He also worried about and wanted to know what would happen when one day he told me to do something and I just didn’t ‘feel like playing’. He is wondering if I am playing head games with him. If I didn’t make it clear at that time the answer is - No, I am not playing head games. I do not view this as a game. I do not want it to be a game. I am not trying to saddle you with the responsibility of another child. I don’t expect you to tell me every move to make. But if you want something from me that you are not getting tell me and I will do it. You mentioned 2 areas that you would like me to work on. I will give it my best effort. Sometimes it will get away from me. Remind me that you expect.

He also talked about something else that bothers him. He has lived the vast majority of his life under the rule he began learning as a small boy – you don’t hit girls. He has no problem with what we are doing, fun, sexy, erotic spanking that we both enjoy so much. He is uncomfortable with going too much farther. Bless his heart he has tried to do everything I have asked of him, he really has. And I do appreciate that he was this honest with me. We finished talking and he gave me what I wanted.

He spanked me hard, harder than he is comfortable with. All I could think of was how much I was topping from the bottom and that I was pushing him. I felt like he was only doing it for me, not us. I was a hard spanking and I learned a lesson, it just wasn’t the lesson I was expecting to learn. I learned if it wasn’t right for both Nick and I, then it wasn’t right - period. So I want to say to Nick – I’m sorry. How about I back off a bit and quit pushing. Let’s have fun and enjoy each other. If you are willing we can have a wonderful fun time with spanking for the joy of it and be thankful for the closeness it has brought us. We can keep looking for toys in a variety of stores; you can sneak a pop to my rear any time you want to. And yes you can feel free to tell me to put down the computer and do something around the house! I may gripe and complain a bit, but I will do it!!

After the spanking we made love and snuggle for a while. Nick got up before I did and covered me with our softest quilt. I don’t know exactly what happened then. Did I just go to sleep? Did I lose consciousness? When I finally ‘came to’ I felt like I had experienced the best sleep of my life. I don’t know if I was in the world or not.

I love my husband. As I think back over the past 6 months I cannot believe the changes in my life. I owe all of this to Nick. His willingness to accept my feeling, my ideas, my friends (we talk about you guys a lot) and to be honest with me when he is uncomfortable makes me a happy women. I spend a lot of my day thinking of him. He keeps a grin on my face enough to really annoy my fellow teacher. I am the most contend I have ever been in my life. I find great joy in blogging and I realize the blogging is what got all this started, but the most important thing is the relationship and how we have grown into a real couple. Blogging got this started but we are the prize.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Happy Birthday, PAUL!

Paul, my friend,
You came to my site the first time I ever posted. I told you then that I felt like I had been visited by royalty. I still feel that way every time you come by. I wonder if you have any idea that love and respect I have for you. Your marriage was and is the ideal that we all look to. We see that an old fashion marriage can be just as wonderful as we imagine.

You are unique in our blogging world! Is it any wonder we all love to read your Gratitude Tuesday list? It is another view into the mind and heart of someone we all want to know better. I know we are the ones who should be giving you gifts but I am going to ask one from you to the rest of us. How about a story or two sometimes? I can come up with more than 2 dozen places you could post them and I am not even thinking hard yet. You already give us so much of your time and I know you don’t want to do a blog full time but we will take anything we can get!

I would love to fly across the pond to give you the biggest hug in the world. I wonder how Mel would have felt knowing so many women have such feelings for you. I can picture her laughing and saying “Sorry girls, he’s all mine!”

Happy Birthday!


Stolen teen meme

Oh why not , I can be just as immature as everyone else here goes--

1. Are you wearing shoes? I am not at work or church so no.

2. What color is your backpack? It’s black and purple.

3. Are you sick? Nope, feeling pretty good at the moment!

4. Is the bathroom door open? Unless one of the cats has pushed it close, yes.

5. Are you on a laptop? Yes! And I love it. It even went with us on vacation this last time.

6. Are you watching MTV? Nope, M.A.S.H.

7. Are you smiling? Yes I am, it’s been a nice evening.

8. Do you have on eyeliner? Don’t own any.

9. Are you blonde? Since God and I are fighting over the color (He wants gray I want anything else) I could be blonde at some future date, but not at this moment.

10. Are you in high school? I teach at my old high school, it’s a middle school now. Does that count??

11. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Nick doesn’t let me date.

12. What is your favorite name? I love my son’s name is my favorite.

13. Does your school start in August? Yes, but it used to start in July when I was teaching year-round school and I loved it!

14. What was the last thing you said to a mate? Night honey.

15. Is your ear pierced? Actually they both are.

16. Do you live in Florida? Nope, born and raised in the same little town. I’m staying.

17. Do you type with your feet? No but maybe I will learn to walk on my hands?

18. Have you dyed your hair red? Yes. I did it to get Mollie to get off my back about it but I really liked it.

19. Are you tired? It’s almost midnight, I am very tired.

20. Are you "Fake" at times? Who isn’t.

21. Is Alcohol Bad for the Soul? Can be.

22. Are you bored? Not anymore!!

23. What time is it? 11:50 PM

24. Chocolate or peanut butter? Chocolate only! I do not like peanut butter!!

25. How many kids would you like? 2 just like I have!

26. Possible girl names- Well I someday want another kitten, I had planned on naming her Grace. But now that I have a friend named Grace I’m not sure.

27. Possible Boy names- Don’t want any boy pets.

28. What is your computer? These days its one of my favorite toys of all time.

29. Ever been through or to Detroit? Not that I remember.

30. What color is your toothbrush? Blue and white.

31. Do you think abortion is good or bad? I think it’s horrible. The only thing worse is the thought of old male politicians trying to make the decision for me or any other women.

32. Are you depressed right now? No. I am actually happier than I have ever been.

Thursday, October 12, 2006


Nick was very receptive to my post. He may not understand everything (I don’t either) but he is willing to explore and what more could anyone ask. We shall see when we get some time alone.

I wanted to let you all know that for all that I say I never do anything around here I am a good mother. I know that there are certain skills I need to teach my daughter. The other night I wanted to go the gym and I ask Mollie if she would handle supper for us and told her when I would be home. She seemed pleased to be given the responsibility. Off I went to the gym. When I got back Nick was home and told me about supper. Mollie had taken full charge by looking up the number of the pizza place and ordering supper delivered. I realized that I was indeed being irresponsible in her domestic training. I called Mollie in and told her I hadn’t expected her use that method to get supper. I told her she was nearly 14 and I didn’t think there any reason to waste time with the phone book, it was high time she had the pizza place on her speed dial! And you guy thought I was teaching her nothing!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

What I Need!

I’ve got an idea. Now that I have got Nick’s attention let me explain. Think back to the 6th grade. The rowdy kid always got sent outside to stand in the hall. I don’t do that because rowdy or not it’s my job to teach the little buggers. But sometimes when a child has been out for a day I will let them work on the assignment in the hall while we are checking it in the room. To prevent them from being fussed at in case the principal walks down the hall I give them a bright pink card that says “I am not in trouble”. This morning as I was coming awake, through the cobwebs, I thought to myself, I need a sign that says “You are in trouble!” Then I thought, why not?

I’ve told you I am no good at being bratty. It is not in my nature (although in my mind I have my moments). Nick and I don’t fight and I don’t want to. I know it’s not what I do that annoys Nick it all the stuff I don’t do. And here he has tons to choose from! Friday evening I was deep into blogland while Nick was cleaning in the kitchen. He asked if there was anything in the family room to go in the dishwasher. I said yeah, there was a glass. But did I get up and take in to him –no, I was blogging. I could tell when he came to get the glass that he was a bit pissed but I didn’t pay a lot of attention. Later that night when I got a short, mild spanking he mentioned it, but there was nothing to make me take too much notice.

I don’t think Nick has any idea the power I am trying to give him. Our son was home so he couldn’t have done anything at the time, but if we had been alone I would have liked him to tell me to put the computer down (I would have) and bring the glass to the kitchen then use what ever was available to bust my ass for not bringing it in the first place. I guess this is my way of being bratty. I do whatever I want to do and ignore everything else because I know he won’t do anything about it anyway.

Since Nick has an extremely forgiving nature he just doesn’t stay mad or hold all these things that I don’t do in his mind, so back to the ‘you’re in trouble’ cards. With Mollie living at home we can’t take care of things as they happen (unless we were to get lucky like Grace and Bossman did). But if some things really annoys him, or he has asked me to take care of something that I just don’t get around to he can hand me a little card (we can put a few at various places in the house). A short note can quietly let me know what he is finally bugged about. When I get a card I would need to take it and put it somewhere in the bedroom. Then when we get time and have our privacy we could take care of – whatever. Too much topping? I don’t know. Nick is pretty good at taking an idea and putting his own twist on things. I don’t want him mad or upset. That’s not his way or what I need. But I need … something.

I find myself envying Grace, Eva, Patty and Suzy(Todd). Reading their post hasn’t caused this yearning but they state it very well. I’ve asked him to read these and he is so good to read what I suggest. That does wonders for me. I am always afraid that one day he is going to say he’s not interested in reading any more. I liked what Todd said, this type of spanking may be rare but the option is there when he feel it is necessary.

And in case Nick is wondering how this will improve things if I like spankings,well... 0ne, I would hope the spanking itself would be something to avoid in the extremely near future. Two, the after effects make me want to do better. To let him know I appreciate what he is dong and that he is willing to follow through. I have tried to tell him before, I am willing to do whatever he asks. I can say this with confidence because I know him and he will be completely reasonable in his requests.

We are still working on the weight and I want to continue that and truly keep losing. But some weeks you can really try hard and still not lose. He can tell each week if I have really been trying and so far in 3 months I have only missed goal once. I don’t want to fool around with the weight thing. That is important to both of us. The household stuff, well that’s different. Will I try to test him? Probably! I just want him to remember that the spankings are what got us to this good place. My body was always here, the spankings assure that my mind is here too and we all know that that is the most powerful sexual organ.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Let's hear it for the P's

There are so many good P work that I am grateful for that I had to cut my list down to a reasonable number. I am grateful for so many things but especially these --

Paul – our best source of wisdom and reason in a sea of estrogen.

Pain – you all know exactly what I mean, it needs no explanation.

Privacy – for those of us with kids still at home this is a rare gift.

Passion – I want passion in so many area of my life, I want passion for my work, my play, my kids, and especially for my wonderful husband.

Partner – this word encompasses so many ideas, a friend, a co-parent, a lover. This is the person you trust with your life and ideas. This is the one who will always be there for you.

Patchwork quilt – I love my soft, well worn patchwork quilts that have been passed on to me from loved ones gone. The beauty and love they hold keep me warm.

Photography – a former love and one that I hope to renew soon.

Post – I love when I have something to post. I love hearing from my friends when I do.

Postwar – I can’t wait for our country to get to this part of our history!

Play – I am grateful went we get the chance to play. We don’t often enough, but it’s wonderful when we do.

Pancreas – so many are plagued with diabetes. I am grateful that this part of my anatomy is working as it should.

Pieces – a wonderful blog and gateway to some of the best stories I’ve ever read!

Penis – I am dying to hear what everyone says here. Men and women and the way they fit together is fantastic! My compliments to our Creator!

Sunday, October 08, 2006

math torture/problem

At a recent spanko gathering of less than 2 dozen, 3/5 of the women were married and 2/3 of the men were married. All of the married attended with their spouses.

How many single men and women were attending looking for potential partners?

(This is paraphrased from recent newspaper filler)

So don’t blame me. This is Nick’s doing and I have nothing to do with it!! Yes I teach math. Ask me anything through the 6th grade curriculum and I can do it and explain it to you and your kids. Past the 6th grade – ask Eva or Nick. Nick will give me the answer to post in a day or so, until then I won’t give it another thought!

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Bike trip

Everyone should have a day like I did today. Nick and I went for a bike ride along with Nick’s sister and her husband. Have any of you heard of the Virginia Creeper Trail? We rent bikes in Damascus, Va. and then they take us up the mountain to the trail which is an old railroad grade. It’s just a gradual downhill trail for 17 miles back to Damascus. This is the third time we have been on this trip and I’m ready to go back. It was incredibly beautiful.

Today was everything a day in the mountains should be. On the drive up we passed through beautiful little valleys dotted with farm houses and barns. There was mist in most of the valleys and the trees showed as much red, orange and gold as green. At one point we even saw a rainbow, very unusual for the morning. This was the first cold snap when we got out to ride the temperature was a crisp 44 degrees. But we were dressed for the weather and off we went!

I wish I could describe just how perfect it was. The trail is hard packed, fine gravel, very quiet. Often leaves were swirling through the air. Most of the time we were traveling beside rushing water, sometimes we would cross over bridges over deep gorges full of huge bolder and white water. So quiet, so peaceful, always a gorgeous view, and I mean always because I was riding behind Nick and he has the cutest butt! Anyway…

We were about half way down when my brother-in-law held up his hand to tell us to be quiet. Standing on the trail was a doe. She seemed totally calm as she watched us. She turned and walked into the stream to take a drink then looked back at us and walked off into the woods. I told you, it was just a magical day. We had a bit of rain, fog and sunshine. We ever stopped at a café near the bottom of the trail for chocolate cake. Could a day be anymore perfect?

The worse thing and the best thing on the trip was that we didn’t have a camera. I really missed the camera because there were so many images I wanted to capture, to keep and to share. But at the same time without the camera I was really able to see everything for myself. Years ago Nick and I took many picture trips and they were great but sometimes I got home and realized I hadn’t spent any time just looking for myself. I am hoping that we will get a digital camera for Christmas for the two of us. After we do I will learn how to post them and go to town. But I hope I can remember to stop and look for myself too.


I am just posting this to see if my blog comes up. I swear I left it right here yesterday. I did neglect it for one day, but come on! I remember that Cassie's wandered away one day but came back the next. If anyone sees mine, pop its butt and send it home. Thanks

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

I promise I'm not crazy!

Eva described mind blogging the other day. I am sure it is something that we all do without even thinking about it, but I know that I hold the gold medal. I know I’ve been doing it the longest. I have a first memory of mind blogging at age 11 (Yea, I know this pre-dates computers, but it’s the same idea). It wasn’t just daydreaming. I created a story, an alternate life. I added to it, refined it and polished it all through my teens and early 20. I don’t know why I started it, I had a great childhood, but the idea of spanking was not in my real life and I craved it. This was the only way. Unfortunately it was also a trap.

You don’t need to get the rubber room ready for me yet. Actually mind blogging, as I do it now, is the healthiest thing I have done in 30 years. I use it now to enhance my real life, to enrich my life with Nick and connect with other people. The way I used it before was unhealthy but I couldn’t stop. Talk about being a control freak, I created an entire world where I controlled every aspect. What happened, what was worn, what was said – everything was exactly the way I wanted it. If I was bored, scared, worried, uncomfortable, whatever – I just slipped over. Why deal with reality when perfection is just a thought away!

Unfortunately I gave her all my good traits and didn’t keep what I needed for myself. She was the one with the fire and passion, the fighter, the talent, everything. I just thought it. I only told two other people about this; a counselor I saw for a while and a close friend. Both told me it was bad for me and tried to get me to stop. My friend coined the term mind fucking (I refined it to the more accurate mind blogging now). But sometimes we would be together and she would yell “Damn it, you’re mind fucking again, come back to reality!” Excellent advice, but nearly impossible to take. Any addiction is hard to give up – but one that lives in my head. How was I supposed to keep away from it?

I don’t mean that I didn’t live my life. I did! I married, had kids, friend, a career but always, always I spent time ‘over there’. Not very fair to Nick; how to compete with the perfect scenario when he didn’t even know it existed!! And since I was going over so often there was no reason to work on reality; the other ‘reality’ was already there and handy.

If I didn’t have a handle on this now believe me I would never be saying a word here or anywhere else. Much of why I am writing this is to point out the power of blogging. Every month of my life since the age of 12, I spent time ‘there’, often weekly or daily. That’s over 35 years. I started reading blogs in May, commenting in June and had my own blog in July. I haven’t been ‘over there’ since I got the nerve to leave my first comment. That’s 4 months!! I have no desire to go, I like it here better. I am using the time and energy I wasted there to make real life better. I am taking back what I gave to her – the passion first, maybe even some of the bratty way someday! Poor ol’ Nick may really have his hands full if we totally merge!

We talk about real life and the blogging world as if they are different things. Blogging has given me back my real life. Thanks folks, I’m really enjoying it!!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Wear clean underwear

I had a bit of a panic attack at the doctor’s office yesterday. I have a rash on both my wrists that seems to be getting worse so I thought I would have it checked out. The doctor thinks it’s poison oak possible from one of out cats, but I don’t think so. I usually do this once or twice a year, just on my wrists.

Whatever -- I just want it gone. One wrist is really bad so she put me on antibodies and gave me something for the itching but she also said that a shot of steroid would help. Okay fine no problem. Until the nurse comes in and says that she needs to give the shot in my butt. Now I still have a few stray bruises on my behind and while I am a bit proud of them, I have no desire to share with other.

Do you know how quickly imaginary conversations can go through your mind? If she saw anything and asked “How did you get that bruise?” What was my best answer “Paddle or belt – I just can’t remember!” No worries if she saw anything she made no comment. But it reminded me of my mother saying always wear clean underwear; you never know when you might have to go to the doctor. It just caused me to think of ways we could be embarrassed that I never even thought of. We might forgo the hard stuff if I have a physical pending! What an interesting lifestyle we lead!

Monday, October 02, 2006

It's Tuesday!

It’s Tuesday again! I love Tuesdays! With a nod to CeeCi, here goes!

Orgasm – multiple is the only way to go!

Obey – It’s what I want to be asked to do. It is what I want to be expected to do. If we ever renew our wedding vows it is what I will promise to do.

Observe – I love to sit and watch sometimes. Not drawn into a discussion or a situation but to just be a observer.

Occasion – I love special occasions. I like people to get together and have a good time.

Ocean – The beauty, the power, the feel. Who doesn’t love sitting on the beach watching the waves crash?

Ogre – I loved Shrek!

Old-fashion – Isn’t that what we dream about, an old-fashion marriage. At least there are many aspects that I think I would love.

Opinion -- Of course I have an opinion on everything. But I love to hear the opinions of others too.

And last but not least --

‘Ode to a Repair Man’ or ‘How to help you HOH replace a dishwasher while the pipes under the sink fall apart as he touches them.’

Have you ever tried to help install or replace a dishwasher, or some other appliance? I have some tips:

Rule one – Shut up! He does not want you help verbally; he does not want your opinion, your suggestions or anything else from you that requires speech!

Do stay close! This is not the time to sit at the computer and laugh your ass off at someone’s post, relax in front of the tube or chat on the phone to a friend. This is especially true if the phone conversation includes how long it is taking to get the appliance installed (see rule one)

Other helpful hints would include learning the names of basic tools. If he asks for a wrench, he does not want the needle nose pliers. Do not ask “Well can’t you just use that?” (see rule one)

Realize that 99% of his questions are rhetorical and do not require an answer. Questions like “Where did I put the damn screw?” “Why is this piece of shit falling apart?” and “Who needs a fucking dishwasher in the first place?” should not be answered! (see rule one)

Try to keep the flash light shinning in the direction he is looking. If you stare longing back toward the computer the light will veer away from the correct spot. If he grabs it out of you hand, don’t say “Your head got in the way!”(see rule one)

Lastly but not least all finger gestures must be done out of sight of the HOH and comments like ‘Bite me’ and ‘Kiss my ass’ are perfectly acceptable but they must be said in you head, not muttered aloud! (see rule one)

Oh, did I tell you guy that Nick got the dishwasher back in last night?

Sunday, October 01, 2006

My turn to brag...

I got to see my boy this weekend!! He was in Macbeth at his college. When we got to the theater he was one of the dead bodies lying on the stage (this wasn’t his only part). After six week without seeing him I was ready to go on stage and hug him. Nick said that might not be the best thing to do! He had a small part but they had died his hair blond to match his father hair in the play and you could easily tell that they were father and son. He, of course, was by far the best one in the play!

He is really into theater. He got in this play and has done another one down there in a workshop. He has auditioned for a part in a student produced film where he got good feed back on the audition. He is trying to get into the Bachelor of Fine Arts (BFT). His college only takes 12 students into this program each year. He will know something by Christmas.

There is also a student theater flyer that was posted all around campus that featured my son as a “someone to know” in the theater. They were posted in the bathroom too which was the first place I saw it and nearly ran out of the stall to tell the family what I had seen. I loved standing off to he side and seeing others come and hug him and congratulate him and I was so proud when he would bring them over so they could meet Nick and me. All in all it was a wonderful weekend!

Now Friday night before we saw the boy, well that was our time! Couldn’t make the noise I would have liked at bed time but the loving couldn’t have been better!! So I figured that my gg reward for losing weight would have to wait until another time. At least that was what I thought until I heard the bedroom door latch about 4:30 AM.

When that bedroom door latches I am wide awake but I burrowed down deeper into the bed. Nick pulled back the cover and started on my bottom with something, but I couldn’t tell what. I was nice and a nice little burn was building up. It didn’t take too long to move on to other activities (it was the middle of the night!). Afterwards I looked to see what he had been spanking with. It was a crop, but it was not exactly like any crop you have seen. We are planning to get one someday and I know we could order one but we just want to look for one together. Meanwhile, Nick had made one! This man is creative when it comes to creating spanking toys. He has made a flogger and a wicked paddle and now a crop. He had braided the leather all the way down the handle and it had a good little flap on the end. It’s really beautiful. I’m so glad I’m married to a creative man!