I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, April 30, 2018

Dog gone it!

Maybe it would have been better if I’d had two sons. All and all, LJ was a piece of cake to raise and has given me few worries. That is after I got used to the idea he was serious about living in New York City. Mollie on the other hand is driving me nuts! Is it girls? Or is it just me?

Long time readers will already know, but to new readers – please take my complaining with a grain of salt. Let me state first and foremost, my kids are nearly perfect. They made it through childhood with no serious illnesses, no broken bones and no stitches. We had no calls from principals or police. Both finished college and are now gainfully employed, living in their own homes and do not ask for money. So according to what I see in the world today, I have NO reason to complain about my kids. That being said, Mollie is still driving me nuts!

LJ calls once a week to talk with me. We enjoy our ‘visits’ and he’ll tell me what’s going on in his life. He doesn’t ask me anything before he makes a decision in his life and I rarely offer an opinion. He and his husband live their lives with no interference from me. They don’t ask for advice and I don’t give it.

And then there’s Mollie. She asks for my opinion for most of the decisions she makes. She seems to want to know what I’m thinking. Many of these questions are about teaching and how to handle kids and parents. I feel I have good advice to give her along these lines and she often takes it.

But on other things she just wants my opinion and then does what she’d already decided to do in the first place. That’s fine, she’s grown. But why does she ask me if she won’t listen to anything I suggest?  Why won’t she just do it and keep me out of the decision agony!

She wanted a house. I didn’t think the timing was right and that the expense of homeownership on her own would be more than she was imagining. She bought a house and loves it. But the expenses are more than she bargained for.

She wanted a kitten. I didn’t say as much about this. I knew she wanted a companion and I understood that. I still wanted her to come spend the night here
occasionally and I knew that would mean bringing the cat back and forth. When a friend found a tiny stray… I got another grand cat. And this grand cat come when Mollie comes. And the friggin’ cat hates me! If I tried to pick it up or pet it while it’s here I think it would eat me alive.

And now… can you feel what’s coming next… yep, she wants a damn dog! A yapping, chewing, peeing and pooping machine! And not a little one. Oh, no. She wants a Golden Retriever. Okay, this is my fault. After working with for a vet for eight years as my first career, a Golden is about the only type of dog I’d want for my very own. We had one while she was growing up so that’s what she wants.

Ignoring all the puppy problems and expense she’ll have to deal with while working full time. I had one big concern and when she asked me I laid my concerns out. After pointing out the chewing, digging, barking, housetraining problems I told her my real concern.

This is my worry – this is a time of life I want you to have your freedom. I want you to be able to go on day trips to the mountains or the city to shop. I want you to be able to run to the beach for a weekend on the spur of the moment, visit your friend at college or spend a few days in NYC with LJ and Collin. Yes, of course we’d try to help some, but it’s not high on my list to be taking a puppy out at six AM on a cold rainy morning. As for boarding, most kennels are very expensive and BTW, dogs hate them.

But it’s more that you just being able to travel. I want you to feel comfortable going out to eat with friends and staying as long as you want. Going to spend the afternoon with your friends at the pool and coming home long enough to change and going back out for dinner and a movie without having extreme guilt pains. You are thinking of adopting a baby – and a pack animal. Dogs need to be around people. Yes, you’ll be off this summer, but school will begin again and the dog would be less than six months old. I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay home with her in the evening if you’ve been away all day. I want you to have a life. Yes, you can take her to walk (daily, a real walk) and you can take her to the pub, but movies, restaurants, shopping – that’s where you need to be, out with people not staying in because of the dog.

This letter isn’t to try and decide for you. It’s only to get you thinking. You’re an adult now – whether you deny it or not. Don’t give, ‘But she’s so cute!’ more power than logically thinking about the long term. You can decide any day of your life to get a dog – now or a year from now or twenty years from now. But once you get one, you’ve made a ten to fifteen-year commitment, food, medical treatment, exercise, grooming and of course, love. It’s a life change that takes thought.

See, I even write to her, because I think I can be more clear in writing than when I can see her getting ready to say, “Yes, but…”

This is not the time for her to get a damn dog! I think I spelled out the reasons simply and clearly. 


I’m pretty sure I’ll be posting a picture of my grand dog soon.

Friday, April 27, 2018

Fantasy Friday

We have another new Fantasy Friday today! I'm happy to see some of my younger readers taking part and trying their hand at a story. You know I think it's something everyone should try. 

This is from today's writer:

Hi, it's S I wrote a FF before and now I have a new one for you guys. I've been a long time lurker and I comment occasionally. I've always been interested in dd relationships. 

Claire sat at her desk in her house laptop open typing away. It was Saturday night and she was supposed to be out with friends, instead she was here alone working on her report. Her report being due Monday at 8 am. She worked on her report a little longer and got dressed to go out. She decided that her husband wouldn’t know because he was out of town. 

She got an Uber to the party, and would get an Uber back. She needed a drink. Claire’s husband Chris arrived back from a business trip at their house around midnight. He quickly found out that Claire wasn’t there even though her car was. Chris knew one of her friends was having a party tonight and he told Claire she wasn’t allowed to go. 

Clearly she didn’t listen to him. It wouldn’t matter if Claire didn’t party every weekend, but he was tired of it. Chris sat in his chair in the den. He had told Claire the last time she went to party she wasn’t supposed to go, he was going to spank her.  She didn’t take the warning seriously. 

Claire arrived at the house around 1 am, she had a drink but she was sober. She mumbled to herself, realizing that Chris was home. She walked through the house, and stopped dead in her tracks in the den. Chris was still up. "Sit down we need to talk Claire,” he said. Claire sat in the chair across from him. "Your partying is out of control. You party every weekend, come home late, don’t finish your reports and miss work because of your partying. And I told you last time that if you went to a party this weekend I was going to spank you. And I am going to spank you in the morning. Its late go to bed,he said. 

Claire sighed. "But you can’t be serious Chris," she said. 

But he assured he was serious and she went to bed. Claire didn’t sleep much that night. Chris got her up around 9 am. He sat on the edge of the bed. "Claire you went to the party when I told you not to, and your work wasn’t complete yet. You were out of line and I am going to spank you now," he said. 

"Yes sir," she replied meekly. 

He instructed her to bend over the bed. "Thirty swats with your pants up, and thirty swats with your pants and panties down," he said. She was crying already, and took a deep breath. Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! He had begun to spank her just with his hand. Smack! Smack! Somehow she made it through the first thirty without moving or reaching back. He pulled her pants down, and her panties down. "Claire I’m going to start the next thirty swats," he said. And with that he began. Smack! Smack! Ow! It hurts," she said through sobbing breaths. That was only two on her bare butt and she was ready to be done with it, and promise to be good from here on out. 

He kept going. He stopped after twenty-nine. "Last ten baby girl, I’m proud of you," he said to her. He gave her catch her breath and then he began the last ten. Smack! Owwie!! Smack! Ouch! Smack! By now he was spanking her with full force. Smack! Smack! Ow! Smack! Claire was laying limp over the bed, and crying really hard. He quickly gave her the last three. "I’m so sorry," she said between sobs and Chris told her that she was forgiven. Chris held for a while and then put her in bed on her stomach for a nap.

S, thank you for helping to keep Fantasy Friday alive! If anyone has a story they are willing to share with us you can send it to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

The rest of the story

To get the first part of the story you need to go back and read yesterday’s post.

Let me give you a tiny bit more background. Nick and I had exchanged emails on Monday. 

Nick: It was my understanding that you were to report weekly, your weight loss performance compared to that of Sis's.

In the event that you can not get her data for a comparison it would be my assumption that you would report your numbers with explanations. 

I have been criticized in the past for letting things slide.  I am trying to avoid repeating my horrible acts of omission.

I await your response.

PK: You're right, you're right - my bad. 

I'm having a good week mentally. I have no problem with you giving me a pass this week since I'm feeling positive if that is the way you're leaning. If you are leaning the other way I will certainly submit to consequences (this is not a trick - I'm comfortable either way.) I will do better on reporting in the future.

Love you!

Nick: Your failure to report goes on your demerit list.  Consequences to be considered and evaluated.

Which I pretty much knew meant I didn’t have to worry about a spanking this week. That’s why I was surprised when he came to me about six on Wednesday afternoon and told me, “You didn’t tell me the numbers like you were supposed to and I’ve decided not to let it go. You say you like some warning to give you time to think before a spanking so I’m giving it to you. But be waiting for me in the bedroom at seven.” Then he was gone.

I had been sure he was going to let it go. I was pleased with the small threat in his last email and I’d decided to do better about reporting. But I certainly did as he asked. I do like some time to think before a spanking if it’s a real one. So I headed to the bedroom to wait about fifteen minutes early. I do an impressive self-talk. Sometimes I say thing that are good for me to hear, sometimes not. But I used the time to think about how little he asks of me and that everything he asked was truly for my own good.

When he joined, me he asked me to tell him why he was spanking me and I did. He gave a good warm-up before he decided he wanted to ‘bare down.’ Then the rigid leather paddle came into play. I say play, but that
thing is no toy and it definitely made an impression. I had rosy cheeks and quite a sting to go with them when it was over. He was very sweet when it was over and kissed my rosy cheeks. Besides my stinging butt I came away with a better resolve to work on the weight loss seriously and to definitely give him the numbers he’s asked for each week. 

He also pointed out that if I’m going to fuss and complain about him not doing his part, then I’d better pay more attention to doing my part. Doing what he’s asked of me and telling him what’s going on in my head. He’s right, I realize it. If I’m not doing my part to keep TTWD alive I certainly can’t fault him for some lacking on his part.

We’re doing better. We’re email still and occasionally actual talking with words coming out of our mouths and everything. Emailing is still better, but baby steps. The journey continues.

Monday, April 23, 2018

Nick takes a stand

I’ve come here often enough over the years to point out Nick’s shortcomings when it pertains to TTWD. Seems like it’s time for me to take a look in the mirror myself.

Many times, I’ve asked Nick to make ‘rules,’ just a few. But something real or something he cares about. He’s sometimes done this. But then it seems we would often fall into a destructive pattern. I’d keep the rule for a while, usually the first time I’d break it or forget it he’d do a little spanking.

I’d get back on track until I or we, got busy or something distracted us. I’d ignore the ‘rule’ and he wouldn’t say much of anything and he didn’t spank me.  I’d assume he hadn’t really cared about the rule in the first place and so I’d continue to ignore it and, it seemed, so would he. Eventually I’d come here and complain about Nick not taking things seriously. 

Although we didn’t necessarily have this discussion, our thought and occasional comment came down to something like this.

Nick: I gave you a rule but you just blew it off.

PK: Well why didn’t you do something about it?

Nick: I did, but you kept on ignoring what I’d asked 
you to do.

PK: Well, you should have spanked me again.

Nick: Well, you should have done as I asked to begin with.

Sigh, I never claimed to be submissive.

But it’s not even that. Submissive or not, if it’s reasonable (and Nick is always reasonable) I should be doing what he asks. Especially if I’ve asked him to make some rules to begin with. I shouldn’t use it to try to jerk him around. And I realize that often what I was trying to do. He may have realized it too.

Our TTWD often revolves around healthier lifestyle for me. Try to reduce my weight for medical reasons. He’s always been encouraging and hasn’t ever made me feel bad that I’m not the shape of a fashion model. My sister is on a weight loss program and is doing very well. She text me her progress up or down each Friday. Nick asked if I’d like to base my progress off hers. His suggestion is that I lose at least half of what she does or gain no more than half of what she may have gained. Very reasonable and it was fun to try to shadow her without her knowing. He said it was my responsibility to email him both my progress and hers weekly.

The first week I did and all was well. I’m pretty sure I did it the second week too. But not the third. He finally asked me about it on Monday and I told him I’d eventually found out that Sis was up two pounds and I was up one. He agreed that those numbers saved me from consequences and we let it go. 

Or so I thought until Wednesday afternoon. When Nick came to me and said, “I’ve been thinking it over and…”

Come back tomorrow for Nick's thoughts.

Saturday, April 21, 2018

See you at the Reading Room

I hope you will come by the Reading Room today for a snippet from Cal's Law. Book three is coming in May!

Friday, April 20, 2018

Fantasy Friday - Bedtime

Welcome back for another new Fantasy Friday. Hope wrote our last story and she is back today with another! I hope this will encourage more people to try a story of their own. I've always said that all spankos have at least one story in them. I hope you'll be brave enough to let it out.

For today you can enjoy ...


"Okay Julia, it's time to go to bed."

She hears her HOH say when the movie ends. She wanted to stay up cause it was only 10 o'clock at night and she had to get up at 7 for work. She thought in her mind "Can't I just go to bed at 11:30?" 

"No Julia, now go to your room and go to bed. I don't want snuggle time to end either but we can snuggle more tomorrow if you are a good girl." 

She starts to be on her way to her room...  she didn't notice it till he said no but this has happened before... she quietly spoke when thinking... When she closed the door and stepped over stuff all over the floor she then got a flashback. 

 At times, what she accidentally said outload got her in huge trouble... She remembered once before she was trying to win an argument with her HOH about if she can chill with her sister Catherine after a long days of work to blow off some steam. Her HOH didn't trust her sister at all cause his girl was only 20 years old and the sister was a horrible influence if it was just them both together. 

Catherine pressured her into drinking which was a complete no-no to him. She got a flash back of them both starting to have a heated conversation a few months ago "NO means NO! I am not discussing this with you anymore." That's when it happened... She spoke quietly without even knowing it as she was thinking the same thing... 

She says a little too happily "Maybe I don't want to be a good girl this one time *sshole" and giggled. But only giggled for 3 seconds cause her chin gets tilted to meet with a face of a man who's face scowl looked so very serious and scary that her eyes almost popped out of her head. She noticed that he heard what she said. 

She couldn't breathe and gosh WHO WOULD?! He says in a cold, calm, and low deep voice "You. Said.... What? Repeat that please." He knew that he really didn't consider him that rude name in the first place nor did she actually mean to say that out loud. 

She started "I... I didn't mean to... it just slipped out. I'm sorry sir-" 

"Not sorry enough yet little one... Now." He used his dom voice which meant he meant business. "Go to the corner. We need to talk. But I need time to figure out what to do with you." 

She remembered the lecture he gave before her spanking then the spanking itself. Her guilt was so high that it didn't take long for her to cry. She started to cry before he even started the spanking cause he was that good at lecturing when he needed to be. 

She hears him start to walk towards her as she notices that she hasn't even gotten her pj's on yet. She has been sitting on the bed this whole time! It's been 10 good minutes. She quickly takes off her shirt, bra, puts on her night shirt, and takes down her pants as fast as possible. Right when she puts on new panties and gets her night pants around her ankles she notices that he is standing in the doorway. 

"You really don't want to go to bed that much huh? Trying to get your pjs on in the last few seconds... And leaving your room a HUGE mess when I told you to work on it for at least 25 minutes today!" Since he has on his boots he walks around just in case she didn't pick up the objects that were most important; which is what he saw. Earrings on the floor, the end of a plug in heater, and a pencil. 

"You stay there. Don't move." He picks her up and takes her out of the dangerous room. Then grabs the boots that he specifically put right beside her door "First I'm going to tan your hide then you WILL put on those boots and start working. Is that clear??" 

She replies "Yes sir." 

He states, "You should have put on those boots cause what if you stepped on a hidden earring?" He takes her upper arm and quickly goes to the other room to then sit on the spanking chair, get the hairbrush from the back pocket of the chair, bends her over, then removes her panties. "I thought that your room would have looked better on the floor and the earrings were picked up with other dangerous stuff. I'm so disappointed in you it's not even funny." 

He lifts the hairbrush high then quickly smacks it on her unprotected derrière. And keeps smacking. She already is starting to feel warmth on her unprotected bottom. She says loudly "Ouch! Jordan OUCH! Please! AAAW!" He pins her legs then her hands to the small of her back since she was starting to kick and fight back. 

"You need" SMACK "To take this" SWAT "Like a good girl" WACK ”you could have hurt yourself." Three swats on her left sit spot "You put someone I love dearly in danger. The one that is my other half" CRACK SMACK CRAAACK. 

She cried and doesn't talk anymore. He is determined. She tried to wiggle so that he would miss her target. He paused for a second to get a tighter grip on her. "Hold still naughty girl." 

She couldn't hold back anymore and let the tears fall as she blubbered her pleads. He spanks for a minute then let’s go of his hold on her. "Now, is it crystal clear what I expected of you?" 

She says in a low voice, "Yes, sir." 

"Look at me when speaking please." She looks at him knowing that he wants her to do it cause it's a symbol of submission. 

"Yes sir I know what you expected from me." 

"And what was that?" 

"To clean up my room and keep it clean because you don't want for me to harm myself." 

"Okay good girl, I forgive you. Come here." He opens up his arms for a hug.

 She hugs him and really loves hugging him. He of course likes it too cause he never wants her to think that he holds grudges. She is also the best hugger he knows. They hug for a few more seconds then he tells her 

"Go ahead and sleep on the couch tonight. Since tomorrow is your day off. First thing in the morning you will put on those boots that are beside the door and you WILL work on that room, then when it's done you can chill till it's time for you to make dinner. Goodnight and I love you Julia."

She says back, "Yes sir and I love you too." She is on her way to the couch now tired from the spanking she took. 

She was always tired after those. While she was on her way to the couch she really thanked God for giving her this HOH. It's good that he is strong enough to love her in this way because she didn't learn any other ways. It's tough for him but he always saw improvement on her behavior which meant it was worth it to him and her. No matter what they always loved each other and that's all that mattered. 

Thanks Hope for helping us to continue to enjoy Fantasy Friday. If you are willing to share a story with us you can send it to, elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

I hope he keeps asking

What do you do when you want to post and you just have nothing to post about. Most of my friends who blog out here have the sense to hush if they don’t have anything to say. But something compels me to post even when I’ve got nothing.

It’s not a bad nothing. Nick and I are still communicating. We’re listening to one another and we’re being truthful about how we’re feeling. We’re taking it slowly and we’re going to see what’s gonna happen.

This is part of one email I sent him:

When I get lost in depression is when we haven’t had any TTWD in weeks and week or even mention it. No text, no emails. There’s no threats, jokes, teasing, pointing out implements to one another – all of that helps me so that we are not just another ordinary old couple. I’ll try to keep up my side, but you’re 50% of this and I need you to do your part. You can tell me what you’re thinking, ask me what I’m thinking… there are a million things we could do to not be ordinary/vanilla.

If I do get to that point, like I was a couple of weeks ago, I really do shut down. And when it goes on long enough I just feel like I tried to explain – I want to give up and not even try. It’s like medicine. Consider TTWD as my antidepressant drug. Even though I need it, I can’t take the medicine by myself. And if I go without it for long periods of time, I don’t want to take it anymore. Sometimes I’m scared I’ll get to the point of refusing to take the medication if I’m off it long enough. I don’t think that would be good, but I don’t think you’d force it either.

He has done some emailing and asking questions. If he keeps asking I’ll keep thinking and talking. That is very important to me, him asking. Right now, he wants to know what’s going on in my head. Maybe he always wants to know. But when he forgets to ask, I have a very hard time sharing. I hope he keeps asking.