We'd been married over twenty-five years when I came out to Nick. By then we were parents of teenagers, had two busy careers, in addition to driving endlessly as chauffeur for our youngest. Shortly before I came out I realized that we never touched anymore. Of course in bed he would sometimes reach out if he wanted to make love, but I often resented that. It seemed to be the only time he touched me. When I came out to him, that changed and I did love it. Maybe this is something we should all remember as we begin our new year.
I hope Nick knows how much I love the little changes I see. And sometimes the big ones. He touches me! It is unbelievably wonderful. I don’t care if he's giving me a hug, patting my bottom or rubbing my leg. It doesn't seem to matter if we're home or out among people, he touches me. He'd be shocked, just as I am, to know what a difference it makes in how I'm feeling if he takes my hand for just a moment or just quickly touches my face. I love it!
There have been other changes. In the past when we had sex I never wanted my breast touched. I didn’t like it; it hurt and bothered me to have them touched. Now I love it, but what has changed? We woke up for a little early fun before all the family showed up for Sunday lunch. If the kids are home the only time for a bit of spanking is very early morning when a cannon wouldn’t wake them. It doesn’t have the wild abandonment that comes from being alone but it’s pretty darn good. Of course any kind of spanking can get my juices flowing, but when he pinched my nipples and sucked on them I just flowed. It was fantastic! The same is true for anal play; I used to want to avoid this. But now I am willing to explore. Not anal sex, but playing and touching is suddenly something I desire, not avoid.
But I am serious about the question. What exactly created the change? Can this much change come about just from reading blogs, from coming out to my husband, from accepting who I really am? Is it my husband’s willingness to spank and explore the lifestyle? Is it the encouragement and acceptance of other bloggers that creates a safe environment that I want to be a part of? I guess its combinations of all the above. But if that's the case why aren’t we being studied by sex therapist worldwide? Let’s find a way to bottle this stuff folks, we’ll make a fortune!