I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, September 29, 2021

The Inexpensive Wife

Do you have a guilty pleasure? Is there something that your loving partner complains about you overspending on? Mine came up the other day and I had to laugh. We’ve had our first really cool crisp mornings, I love them. I love the bedroom being cold and the bed with lots of blankets and quilts and a nice warm husband in it.


But when I get to my writing room I love my gas logs on to warm my feet. This year, before I even asked, Nick turn on the gas and lit the pilot for me. Heaven… but he added as he left the room, “Don’t run it all the time!”

I had to laugh. I remember well when things were pretty tight money-wise. House payments, car payments, college tuition for LJ all when Nick was out of work for nearly two years. But Nick and I were raised by parents who had lived through the great depression and we knew how to both cut back and save.


It was just instinct for him to remind me to watch the gas bill. But I didn’t let him get away with it. I told him I’d rather save money by him not sending me expensive flowers every 

week, to stop buying me jewelry, we wouldn’t buy a new car every few years or taking exotic vacations. Maybe I’d cut down on the designer clothes and forget about the Louboutin shoes. Except, he doesn’t sent me flowers. I don’t wear any jewelry except my wedding ring. I get a car every ten years or so and the last one I got was my first new car ever. As for vacations, if we go anywhere it will be his choice. I’m a home body. I haven’t bought new clothes in a year and I’ve never had designer anything. As for Louboutin shoes… forget it! I’m more of a Skechers girl.

So since I’m not demanding any of those things, I asked him, “Just where should we put the money we'll save if I cut down on the gas bill? The golf course perhaps?”

This was not a fight in anyway, just friendly teasing. I have no doubt that through the cold weather months, each time the gas bill comes, Nick will come to the writing room telling me the exactly how much the bill is, and I’ll answer, “And worth every penny!” 



Thursday, September 23, 2021

Where did the dark go?

Not long ago I was having trouble sleeping. This is very unusual for me. I tossed and turned for a while before getting up to get something to drink. I didn’t bother to turn on any lights as I made my way to the kitchen and I saw something that I’d never realized before. I couldn’t believe the number of lights that were on in our house.

Little lights everywhere!

I started counting. We had on twenty-seven lights on in the house. Twenty-seven! We still have a landline – don’t ask me why. So that accounted for four of the tiny lights, one on the base and one on each of the three phones. The kitchen was bright with lights on the refrigerator giving me the internal temperature of both the fridge and the freezer. Then there was a clock on the microwave, and on the over as well as the small screen Alexa Mollie gave us. 


I continued my tour. In my writing room there was one of the phones, but also the clock on the coffee maker, the electric fence base for the grand dogs and the sweep up vacuum.  One spare bedroom had a cordless vacuum who’s charging light shone brightly. And the other bedroom had a digital clock.


The living room had a clock, the TV box, the Apple TV, a charger I have for the phone and a Kindle as well as an internet booster box with three little lights. Both bathrooms have a small night light and then in our bedroom were the lights on the TV and box again and two red lights that shine out from the back of the TB. Nick has his clock and the phone and base on his side and on my side of the bed I have a power strip for my phone charger and my… my… well a few toys. 

I miss dark.

I couldn’t believe how many of these insidious little specks of light were in my house. All using vampire energy I suppose. I’m just wondering if I’m the only one. When you turn out all the lights tonight, take another swing through the house and see how many lights you have.

Monday, September 20, 2021

My connection to the Met Gala

Okay, you have to dig for the connection, but it’s more than I’ve ever had before. On the afternoon of the Gala, LJ text me and asked, ‘Are you familiar with the Met Gala?’


I told him that I was, but not to invite me because I didn’t have a thing to wear. He answered, ‘Watch the red carpet and you might see my work.’ I know LJ’s work and this made no sense so I waited for the next text.


LJ works at Little Island in NYC, a new beautiful park financed solely by Barry Dillard. Barry Dillard is married to Diane von Furstenberg. She owns a lovely building near Little Island and gave one floor of this building to house the offices of Little Island. Actually it’s a big open space where they all work.


On the afternoon of the Gala, the elevator opened and a somewhat frazzled woman rushed out asking loudly, “Does anyone here know how to tie a bow tie?”


Everyone stared in silence until LJ spoke up, “Yes, I can tie a bow tie.” This was a skill he picked up as a theater major in college.


“Come with me!” the woman called and they headed to the penthouse, Diane Von Furstenberg’s apartment. It seemed that neither this lovely designer nor any of her assistance could tie a bow tie! It was actually Diane’s granddaughter's boyfriend in need, and after having him sit – as LJ said, ‘This guy had to be nine feet tall!’ LJ tied him a lovely bow tie was profusely thanked by the family and went back to work.

Living in New York City is something I’d never want to do, but LJ loves it. And I have to admit he does have some interesting moments.

Friday, September 17, 2021

It began as such a nice day...

I woke slowly and peacefully. I love the days when I don’t have to go anywhere. Nick had taken the day off and was going golfing with his brother and others up in the mountains that afternoon. I ate breakfast, watched a little news and some Kelly and Ryan then heading to my writing room to get my day started. I had just settled in with my coffee when Mollie called. She never calls during a school day so I worried immediately.

It seems she had gotten a call from her neighbor saying that Maggie, her older golden was outside the fence and running around near the road. Mollie couldn’t leave and asked if I could drive over and put Maggie in the house for the day. Well, of course I could. Since Nick wasn’t leaving for a few more hours he came too and we got the dogs in fine and headed home. Mollie’s house is about thirty-five minutes away so driving and visiting with the dogs a little took over an hour. But we’re good parents and we didn’t really mind. I thought I was back to my peaceful day once we got home – but no.


I was getting on the computer when Nick called on the phone, from the bedroom. He just said, “Could you come back here?” I found him pale, sweaty and in pain. He wanted his shirt off and then he was on the floor. He asked for a cold cloth and I’m trying to figure out what the hell is going on when he mumbles out, “Kidney stone.” He had never had one before but he was pretty sure.


I called his brother to tell him Nick would not be golfing and then we were off to the hospital. Not where I wanted to be exactly, but it’s not like we had a choice. Got him checked in and we saw that they had the large waiting room – all openings sealed well, with a door and a sign saying it was to be kept closed at all times. That was for the covid symptom patients. There were two smaller waiting room set up for others – kidney stones, broken bones, suspected heart attacks and those needing stitches. That and the hallway, which soon became full. We probably waited only twenty minutes before a nurse took his vitals, heard his symptoms and asked for a urine sample. This nurse said that of the ten bays they had in the ER, eight of them had covid patients on ventilators waiting for ICU beds.

We were sent back to our little waiting room to wait and wait and wait. Soon we’d been there for two hours, then four hours, then six hours, then eight, then ten… It wasn’t until around the ninth hour that anything was done. They took blood and took him for a CT scan. As we were nearing hour eleven the doctor spoke with us – with truly excellent news. There was blood in the urine, that combined with the symptoms caused them to believe that he had passed a kidney stone but the CT scan showed that there were no more to come! All lab results were spot on where they should be and there was no infection at all.


We stopped to pay the co-pay and walked out the door almost exactly eleven hours after we’d walked in. It was not the best of days – simply sitting for eleven hours was hell, being exposed to heaven only knows was very scary (I was double masked), and worrying about it all made for one of the longest days I can remember.


So how’s Nick feeling? I couldn’t ask him the next morning, despite sleeping about an hour late he was at work by 4 AM. As he told me the night before when I urged him to stay home and rest the next day, “I’d hate to stay home and break my forty-four record.” 


It was forty-four years ago that Nick took his last sick day. He wouldn’t have then but his boss insisted. Nick had dislocated his shoulder while skiing the night before and his arm was not in use, it was snowing and sleeting that morning and Nick had a straight drive car. But if someone had offered to come get him, he would certainly have gone in.


I’m married to a tough old bird and in the ER or not, I’m glad we were there together.


*A huge shout out to the doctors and nurses at our hospital yesterday. Yes, our wait was long, but those doctors nurses were working their butts off. Not only the crowd waiting to be seen, but some were down right abusive. Some were shouting because they'd been waiting nearly an hour and they wanted attention NOW! One was even calling one of the nurses a bitch and coughing on others then claiming to have covid. How the nurses kept from putting a fist through her face I'll never know. I sure wanted to.

Tuesday, September 14, 2021

Well, Duh...

** Warning, this post could be thought by some to be slightly political although I don't mean it that way. However you see it, please know this is not a political blog and will NOT become one.

I’ve had my vaccine of course.


There was no measles or chicken pox vaccine when I was little. I had both and the measles nearly did me in. I was sick as a dog. Four years old and to weak and sick to get out of bed on my own for nearly two weeks. Scared my mother badly!


I got a small pox vaccine and have the scar to prove it. If you’re under about forty-five you don’t have a scar. That’s because it worked.


I had my vaccine for polio when I was about six. That disease terrified everyone, especially those with children. Picture of kids in iron lungs still scare me.


We went overseas when I was twelve and I got tons of vaccines, I’m not sure what all. But shortly before we left there was a cholera outbreak in the country we were to visit, so I got a cholera vaccine too. 


Growing up as a proud, tree-climbing, bike-riding, tree-house building tomboy I’ve had my share of tetanus shots over the years. 


I’ve had a flu vaccine each year for at least the past twenty at least.


I’ve had my pneumonia vaccine.


I’ve had both my Covid vaccines. 


And most recently I had a shingles vaccine. 


With both of my last two vaccines my arm was pretty sore and I’ve had a little swelling in my lymph glands under that arm. It’s a little uncomfortable but nothing compared to having shingles or having a tube down my throat and possibly dying alone in a hospital.

My parents told me that they had prayed for a polio vaccine. I know I prayed for a Covid vaccine. We got one. It’s nearly ninety percent effective. But there are still so many dying. According to Google, 656,318 people in this country have died since Covid first got here. That’s equivalent to a little more tha two hundred eighteen 9-11 attacks.


I’ll stop now. Although if someone could tell me how getting a vaccine that could save your life and possible prevent you from passing the virus on to your grandparents, parents and children became political I’d like to know. Both the past and current president pushed and pushed for a vaccine. Both have taken it. Where’s the conflict?

Saturday, September 11, 2021

Twenty years, but it's still a little raw

I’m not a big fan of ‘recent’ history. I like reading and watching show telling all about WWII. I do not read or watch anything about the Vietnam War. I honor the men and women who served in that war, but I don’t want to talk about it.

I feel that way about 9-11. It may have been twenty years ago but I just realized how raw the wound still is. Mollie came over last we and we were watching something about the remembrance. I was doing fine until I tried to speak, then I just sobbed and the tears flowed. It’s happened a couple more times. Evidently I still can’t talk about it. Not out loud.


Although the whole country was affected, I only had few personal ties with NYC at the time. LJ was only in the eighth grade. I was teaching in the same school building and I came by his classroom. I felt I just had to see him. But I wasn’t going to go in, I didn’t want to embarrass him. However, his teacher saw me in the hall and motioned  for me to come in. LJ wasn’t embarrassed, he reached out and took my hand. I think he realized how much I needed to touch him. I remember his hand being ice cold. I left quickly knowing I’d never stop crying if I started.


During my planning time I remember standing in the office with the principal and several other teachers staring at the TV when the first tower fell. Nothing in this lifetime has shocked me more. No one said a word, we were like statues.


I think about my cousin who lived in NYC at the time. His son was ten and attended the school where his mom taught. His daughter was beginning high school. My cousin had gone with his daughter for the first three days, letting her take the lead on which subway and which bus to take. He wanted to make sure she knew how to get there by herself. But on the fourth day they let her go alone. That was the morning of 9-11.


Her school was closer to the towers than his office. He walked the four miles to her school and got her. Then they walked the seven miles home. I think of this family when I think of 9-11. I think about the mother and son waiting at home and how she had no idea where her daughter and husband were. Then I imagine how she felt when they came in the door.


Give me another twenty years and maybe I can talk about it with out crying. I know that right now I can't write about it without crying.


Tuesday, September 07, 2021

Health news

I’ve had a few people asking about my great niece. The news isn’t great. She did have her surgery – and was very sad that they had to shave off her beautiful long hair.  I think I posted about them putting seventeen leads into her brain looking for the source of the seizures. 

They never found it. It sees that they come from many places in the brain. They finally removed the leads and she was allowed to come home. That was back in July. But another surgery was scheduled for her in late August. I don’t know exactly what that was for, as I’ve said the parents don’t share many details.


But they went for the second surgery – the hospital is about four hours away. When they got there they were told that there were so many Covid patents in the hospital that the hospital had just shut down all none emergency surgeries. So they had to turn around and come home. They are still waiting.


Covid has reared its ugly head here again. Mollie has eighteen kids in her room. So far she hasn’t had more than fourteen there at any one time between kids with active Covid and those who are quarantined. We were feeling comfortable going out to eat and doing a little shopping during June and July but now I’m crawling back into my shell. I feel more confident that Nick and Mollie and I could survive the virus since we’ve all been vaccinated – but I don’t want to test my theory.

Stay safe out there.

Friday, September 03, 2021

Fantasy Friday - California

It's Friday again and a new Fantasy Friday came in just the other day. This one is written by S, who sent another story a few years ago. At that time she said:

"Hey, I'm S, a longtime fan of the blogs. I've been wanting to write a story for the blog for a while now. I got the inspiration for it the other day. All feedback is welcomed. I hope you enjoy." 

I hope you enjoy...


Lacey grabbed her overnight bag and keys in a hurry to get her friend Hannah's house. Once she was in the car she made the quick thirty drive to her friend's house. It was Friday which meant her husband Jake would be home by 3 pm. Lacey and Hannah were going on a last minute sorta planned girls trip. Hannah and Lacey had planned this trip months in advance, they had paid for the hotel and plane tickets before asking their husbands if they could make the trip out to California. And they were both told that they couldn't go. The hotel room and plane tickets were non-refundable. They original decided they wouldn't go but Hannah had called Lacey at lunchtime yesterday to tell her that she was going and she wasn't going to let her go alone.

They needed a girls trip anyways. Hannah quickly tossed her bag in the backseat of Lacey's car. They quickly took off for the airport. Meanwhile Jake arrived at the house at noon already done with his office work for the day. He wanted a shower and a change of clothes before heading to the airport. He had in emergency meeting with a big client for the advertising firm he worked for in the morning. Jake arrived at airport around 3pm. 

Lacey and Hannah were already on their first flight to California. Four hours in, they landed at the next airport and quickly made it to their connecting flight. Around 9 pm they boarded their connecting flight not knowing Jake was on the same flight. Jake had caught Lacey on her girls’ trip. He took a seat at the back of the plane and sighed. He had a few hours until the plane would land in California. He would have to think about to what to do when they landed. Either tell her by phone that she had been caught or wait until Monday when she would be back home. He would be home by Saturday evening. As the flight went on Jake went and back forth on what to do. 

It wasn't long before the pilot accounted the descent to the airport. A few minutes later Hannah and Lacey stood at baggage claim awaiting the arrival of their. Jake walked up behind them both girls blissfully unaware and in mid-conversation. Lacey heard a familiar voice asking them what brought them to California. Lacey turned around not wanting to be it to be Jake but sure enough there he was. And they were caught. No one said anything for a moment as Hannah grabbed the girls’ luggage and Jake grabbed his luggage. He was mad but if they were staying at a hotel he wanted them to get there safely. A few minutes later they were in a rental car making their to the girls’ hotel. An hour later Jake had the girls settled in their hotel room and left them alone with their thoughts. Jake and lacey had discussed the situation on the way to the hotel. 

Lacey knew that they were both in trouble the second that she heard Jake's voice. Jake left his hotel and headed to the apartment where he was staying for the night, on the way there he got a call from his brother Matthew telling him that he couldn't find Hannah but her car was at the house and that he had just made it home a little ago. Jake explained the situation. They talked in length about to what do. By the time the next morning rolled around they had a plan in place. Jake sent a quick text to Lacey asking them to meet him for lunch at a nearby restaurant at 2pm. The girls were already seated and drinking wine when he arrived. Jake joined quickly ordering a steak mashed potatoes and gravy, and green beans. The girls ordered salads nervous about what was going to happen. Jake told them they would be flying back to California tonight and they wouldn't be going to the concert tonight and they would give their tickets away. Lacey started to protest but Jake gave her a look and told her if she continued to argue with him he would spank her on the sight. He couldn't do anything about Hannah's behavior other make her get on the plane and give her ticket to tonight's concert.

Later that evening after dropping Hannah at her house and having a conversation with Matt, Jake and Lacey arrived home around 11pm. Jake was tired and wanted to go bed  but he was also at the end of his rope with Lacey. He had told her multiple times to quit whining on the way home and yet she was still whining. Lacey quickly retreated to their room and began getting ready for bed. Jake entered the room just as Lacey started to out her pajamas on. 

"Put your tank top on and get over here," Jake told her as she began putting them on. Lacey made quick work of putting her top on and follow his instructions, leaving her bottoms off. Before she knew it Jake pulled her over his lap. Smack! The first spank landed and Lacey yelled ,"fuck!” in response. Jake sighed he barked out a warning about her language as followed with giving her another spank. The first two spanks really hurt and Lacey couldn't imagine  making it all through with counting in her head. Jake rarely asked her to count out loud and she was glad about that. However he usually asked her how many swats he gave her at the end and expected her to have the right answer. 

Smack! Smack! Smack! The next three came rapidly and Lacey began trying to wiggle away from Jake. Jake readjusted her position on his lap and proceeded to give her six more spanks. Ow! Ow! Ow! Was Lacey response. Other than her own cries and his hand hitting her bare ass the room was quite.  By the time they got to eighteen the tears started to flow. By the time they hit thirty five Lacey was in full blown sobs and laying limp over Jake's lap. Thirty five and she was done but it took  a minute for her to register that she was no longer being spanked. Jake pulled her up and they cuddle for a while. Then they talked about happened and why the girls choose to go on that trip anyway. Jake laid Lacey down and rubbed lotion on her butt as she laid on her stomach with her ass on fire. There was more punishment to come but it could wait.


Thanks for the story S. We're always looking for new stories. If you'd like to try a little writing, please do! And send it to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Thursday, September 02, 2021


I got a wonderful email yesterday.  Here it is -

Your book, Secrets on the River: A Cassie's Family Story, has been picked to be one of the contenders in the Cover of the Month contest - September 2021.
Would you be willing to click over and vote for me? I'm in a group of 100 at the moment I think, if I make the top 25 I'll probably ask you to vote again.

I put this on my FB page, but I wasn't planning to put it here until Mollie suggested it. She's a pretty smart kid - must have had smart parents. Click below to vote.

Please vote 

Wednesday, September 01, 2021

Commas save lives.

Just as I begin to forget the frustrations teachers have to deal with, Mollie will call and tell me about her day.

You could talk with my amazing editor, Rosie Dee, and she would tell you I’m no expert on comma placement. But I’m better than some. Mollie got the following note from a parent the first week of school.


My child will be a bus rider Thursday and Friday he will be a car rider from then on.


Okay, in your mind, what is the father saying?


In Mollie’s mind, and mine, the kid would ride the bus Thursday and Friday and then be a car rider from then on.


No, no… 


He was trying to say that the child would ride the bus on Thursday (comma) and (beginning) Friday he would be a car rider from then on.


It pissed me off that he called the office to tell them how stupid Mollie was. She just shrugged it off. But pointing out to the office staff that commas save lives:


Let’s eat Grandma.


Let’s eat, Grandma.