I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, January 30, 2018

I should be able to talk Nick into things by now

I had a post all ready to go up Monday morning, but on re-reading it, it sounded like I was complaining. It wasn’t meant that way so I’m going to let it sit in my draft folder for a while and ponder.

Meanwhile, I’ll tell you I did get spanked Sunday afternoon. Nick sent me an email telling me since I wasn’t bearing down on the exercise, I could bare down for him across the bed. I did just that, but of course it was mostly just an excuse for a sexy romp and who doesn’t like that?

I need to do something to get on Nick very good side because I’m ready to do some more remodeling. Remodeling brings on hard times for us. I’ve found over the years that changes are made on Nick’s time table and his alone. Regardless of what I what, we have to wait until he’s ready. And then when I talk to him about what I want, I always feel that I am talking to someone standing on a ledge about to jump. If I go overboard on what I what to do, he’ll jump – back that is, and we’ll end up doing nothing.

We redid our very out dated bathroom years ago and I still love it. Here’s what we did to the kitchen about six years ago. It's still tiny, but  I was impressed. 

But it’s time to go at it again. Our bedroom and attached half bath have to be redone soon. The bedroom need new carpet and paint, should be easy enough but I don’t live in one of those home in the magazines. While I don’t think I have to worry about being on an episode of Hoarders, our bed room is a catch all room and cleaning it out completely is a daunting task.

We’ve both agreed to rip the bath to the studs and start over. The wallpaper was here when Nick bought the house about thirty-seven years ago. It’s ugly. It’s so aggressively ugly that there is not a rip, not a lose seam, not a sagging corner anywhere. This paper is ugly enough to outlast us all.  I finally painted over it and that helped a little, but major changes must be made.

Okay, he and I are both in agreement. But the timing is the problem. I’m home, I’ve just finished a book (Cal and Jenny’s story is off for the first edit, cross your fingers). I could really dive into getting the bedroom cleaned out. But I don’t want to do it if we’re not ready to go for it. I feel like the clutter in our house is in a semi-liquid state. 

I can get it clean for a short time but eventually, like even a thick liquid, it will flow back to fill up the space. And I don’t want to have to do it twice.

I have a long list of things that we need to do – we need a new roof, new gutters and new landscaping. I want to redo the living room, change the old fireplace,  get rid of the awful mirrors over the fireplace, I want built in bookcases on either side of the fire place and maybe some in my writing room, I want to change the window treatments, I want crown molding throughout and fresh paint, and to get rid of the awful recliners that – yes, I helped choose. Okay, as I read this I can see why Nick ignores me. But we are at the age we need to get all this done so it won’t be a hassle in our old age. I want things done, and done well now so we can enjoy it and that when these things really need changing again in twenty-five to thirty years it will be Mollie’s problem.

And suggestions for how to get Nick on board at least for some of these projects?

Thursday, January 25, 2018

Nothing important

I decided for sure that I wanted to put up a post today. Okay, decision made – now what? There is not much on topic and to be honest what little there has been I haven’t exactly encouraged. When it comes to TTWD I am in a very blah state of mind.

So, this post will be totally random.

I lost my deer. In the winter, outside my writing room window, high up in a tree a bunch of branches came together to form a deer complete with antlers and front legs.  The branch broke and now my deer is gone. He kept me company for several years and I miss him.

For those of you who remember Eva, my twin, she has a beautiful new grandson! I’m falling behind. So very many of my friends are grandparents. This is the closest I have. This is Mollie’s baby, she is pretty, but she doesn’t like me. We don’t know why.

I’ve made a couple of new friends out here lately. These two delightful ladies are going back and reading New Beginnings from the beginning. I am humbled by their desire and willingness to do this. One began reading several months ago and will often mention a certain post as being funny or useful in her TTWD journey. I smile when I go back and read the ones she points out. I sometimes wish we could go back in time or at least feel we were still heading toward something. I wish Nick would go back and read from the beginning.

Maybe something will jell in my mind for a better post soon.

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Writing and Cooking - two problems

Writing and cooking are very different for me – one I love and one I hate. But they are both giving me trouble occasionally. I haven’t been able to write a decent sentence since December twentieth and Mollie came home for Christmas.

I really loved her being here, especially since LJ and Collin couldn’t come. But there is one big problem – I cannot write sex or
spanking with my child in the house! My couple will be all hot and steamy, they’re rubbing against one another, their hands are straying, he tosses her on the bed… and Mollie pops in the room, “Do we have any bologna?”  It just somehow breaks my train of thought. But finally, everyone is where they belong during the day and I’m getting some writing done.

Now the cooking problems – I’m trying to get healthier things in my diet. I bought spinach, cauliflower, zucchini and yellow squash. Basically, yuck, but I’m trying. I decided to add cauliflower and spinach chopped fine into my rice hoping I wouldn’t taste them. It
worked. We had the rice, salmon and I also made a spinach sauce to go over it all – no receipt for the sauce I just threw in things I didn’t hate, butter, garlic, a tiny bit of flour, milk, red pepper flakes and spinach. It was good! I was stunned. But, it took so long to get it all ready and cooked, the kitchen was a wreck and it took a long time to get it straight again.

Nick was there, he helped both with the cooking and the cleaning. But to me it just wasn’t worth the time and effort. Yes, dinner tasted fine but I would have been just as happy with a bag of chips and a few cookies. I keep waiting to mature out of this way of thinking, but I’m beginning to doubt that it’s going to happen.

Those are my problems these days – I hope all yours are as minor. 

I’d love to have you drop by the Reading Room today – Cassie is answering a few questions.

Monday, January 15, 2018

Welcome - special day!

Back in November we had our 12th annual Love our Lurkers Day. I participated as I have for all of them. But I didn’t get to do my favorite part this year. It happened that LOL Day coincided with the release date for Cassie’s Life and I wanted to hear from old and new friends alike.

I’ve begun to do my LOL Day celebrations differently.  We all really want to hear from our silent readers. Often I’m blessed with more than two hundred people coming by for a post, but I rarely have more than ten to twelve people comment. I think one of the reason people hesitate to say anything is that we bloggers seem like close friends and they feel strange or uncomfortable popping into the midst of us when we’re all visiting with one another.

I was very slow commenting when I first found blogs. I was interested in spanking for sure, but I had nothing to add to the conversation and I just felt like an outsider. Let me be clear, if you are at all interested in spanking – you are one of us, whether you’ve ever commented or not.

Today is my own mini-LOL Day. I really want to hear from some (all) of my silent readers and for today, you’re the only one I want to hear from. If we’ve met, if we’ve email on a regular basis for more than six months, you can skip today’s post. This is just for those I haven’t gotten to talk with, or those who have commented rarely over the years. And I do enjoy comments, so please don’t leave me hanging.

You can just say hi, you can say anything you like, you can ask questions. But please think about popping up in comments – anonymous is fine. If that doesn’t appeal to you email me a hello. elisspeaks@yahoo.com

I sure hope to hear from you.

I've had 178 folks stop by so far today as of about 6 PM. So far no one wants to say hello. Oh well...

Friday, January 12, 2018

Baker's questions

I read Baker's post yesterday and I was really intrigued by her questions. She did a great job and you need to go by and read her answers if you haven't .

1.  Are you an introvert or extrovert or somewhere in between?  What about your HOH? 

Outside our own families we are both introverts. When LJ was born, my sister called the hospital. Nick answered and told her all about the baby, hair, weight, length, etc. and then handed the phone to me. Her first question was, “Who was that?” I told her Nick, of course. She replied, “He hasn’t said that much to me the whole seven years I’ve known him!” All our friends know Nick’s an introvert.

Many would be surprised, however, to learn I am too. I guess it’s being a teacher that has caused me to prefect my extrovert act. I can appear comfortable talking with large groups as well as individuals. I’m at the age where I can fake it with the best of them. But inside, I’m so very happy tucked away by myself.

2.  At what age did you realize that spanking was something you were into and at what length did you go to hide it?  Did your HOH know?  For those of you who began your marriage with spanking do you think anything from your childhood helped you to be more accepting of the spanking lifestyle.

I can’t remember a time when the idea of spanking didn’t fascinate me. I know I made up my first spanking story around the age of four. I was spanked as a child, rarely, but it happened. I hated it! And when it happened, or was even threatened I quickly changed my behavior. But the idea of spanking, the infatuation I have has always been with me.

I hid it COMPLETELY. No one knew or ever suspected. No one knew that I could tell them from the opening seconds which ‘I Love Lucy’ had spanking in them. And I still have a stolen book from the school library – I told them I lost it – that was about some English children where one got spanked.

Nick and I had been married for twenty-three years before I told him my ‘strange’ desire.

3.  Do you know of anyone else in your family who practices DD, TTWD, etc.?  And how did you come to learn that they did?

I don’t know of anyone else.

4.  Are you a homebody or outgoing?  To me this is different than being an introvert or extrovert.  You can be an introvert and still love to go to museums or a ball game.  You can also be an extrovert and love to just have people over and entertain in your home rather than going elsewhere.

I’m most definitely a homebody! My favorite days are those where there is no reason for me to leave my house.

5.  How do you view blogging?  Is it an outlet?  A way you process?

I believe blogging means more to me than it does to most people. Blogging (and by blogging I mean not only what I write, but the wonderful people it has brought into my life) gave me the freedom to be myself. It allowed me to, ‘come out of the closet’ so to speak. I don’t stand on the street corner shouting about my love for spanking and the joys of submission – but I can write about it on my blogs and in my books. I’ll defend it stoutly should anyone claim it’s abuse and that a woman must be ‘sick’ to accept it. I’m happy with the person I’ve become since I began blogging.

6.  What tendencies do you see in your DD or TTWD friends and bloggers?  Warning this one may be sensitive to answer.  I am in no way trying to criticize these are simply observations or things that may be similarities between us.

I’ve probably met as many bloggers, in person, as most anyone out here. There are two similarities in them all that I’ve noticed. First they are all strong women who can handle anything life has ever sent them. There are strong, independent and capable. The second thing is their deep, abiding love for their husbands. It each case it’s been their choice to live this lifestyle, their decision to choose to submit to the men they love so much.

7.  Are you a lover of the printed word?

LOL, of course I am. I love to read it and I love to write it.

8.  Do you view yourself as a submissive?

No, sadly that’s not what Nick wanted and I’m not sure I could have done it if he had wanted it. I think I could have. I know I would have liked to tried.

9.  Last question.  What traits do you see in your HOH that help you follow his lead?

Nick doesn’t lead, we always walk together – or maybe occasionally, alone. Perhaps one of us will step forward if we’re more familiar with a given terrain. Maybe if I’d asked for this when we first married we would have grown into more dominate/submissive roles. But by the time I let him in on the secret, we were pretty well established in how we handled life.

I hope many of the rest of you will answer these questions. I love to know what you all think.