I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, April 29, 2019

No one expected this

Sunday was quite a day. Nick was off on a golf weekend. We normally go to church each Sunday, but I sometimes play hooky when Nick's away. Yesterday, I decided to go and Mollie, just home from her cruise, decided to come with me.

I’ve mentioned our minister before. Ann is a wonderful woman, intelligent, beautiful and somewhat sassy. She’s been at our church for five years now and I wrote about our first meeting here – go back and read that now if you have time.

She and her husband divorced when she came to us. He had said he’d come with her, but in the end chose not to. It was hard on her, but I feel it gave her lots of compassion. She was heart-broken when the Methodist church voted back in February not to allow gays full acceptance and membership. She herself, is very accepting, especially of LJ and Collin, and she is working to improved our church along those lines.

Sunday’s service was fine – very normal, until right at the end. She was giving the benediction when a man walked up the aisle. She halted, then froze as he stepped right up beside her. Turning to the congregation he said, “You may be seated.” Ann went down behind the podium, not even making it to the chair.

The man smiled and introduced himself as the pastor of the church about thirty minutes away. Then reaching down to help Ann stand, he told her, “Ann, you are absolutely the most beautiful woman in the world. I’ve known you for twenty years. It has been an honor and a privilege over the past few months to get to know you even better and,” he dropped to one knee, “I would be honored if you’d spend the rest of your life with me so I can get to know you even better.

After a pause, he said to her, “This is the part where you say something.”

Taking a deep breath, she proclaimed loudly, “Yes!”

We all applauded, absolutely thrilled for her. And her closest friend in the church – the one who knew all this was going to happen shouted, hallelujah!

I could see Ann was shaking, so overwhelmed. She turned to him and asked, “Can you do the benediction?” We all laughed a bit, few of us have ever seen Ann flustered.

He answered, “I’ll be happy to.”

Somehow that got me more than anything else. Ann’s a strong woman, all of us support her, but I’ve often worried that in her day to day life, no one really had her back. But this man does. You can feel it. Her simple request and his quick response of, ‘I’ll be happy to.’ let me know I could let go of this worry.  She has someone to talk to, someone who will listen. Someone who understands both the joys and problems of being a minister. She has someone to lean on – someone to love.

 It was a joyous Sunday morning.

Thursday, April 25, 2019

TBT - Fellows, I'm talking to you

I know I haven't been posting much -  so I looked around for a TBT. I feel I've posted this more than once, but for new people who do pop in once and a while, I'm sure, I still think it could be helpful. I first posted this back in 2008.

I am fortunate to have many friends that email me. Many of these friends don’t have blogs and are in various stages of introducing spanking into their relationship, some successfully and others not so much. I know from experience that often vanillas just don’t understand and boy do I know that it is hard to explain it to someone you love. It took me over 23 years to even get up the nerve to try. It’s been almost 2 wonderful years now but I still struggle to get him to understand at time.

So I am writing a letter to your men if they haven’t gotten it yet. Now I know we don’t live in a one size fits all world but from all I’ve felt and all I’ve read this will ring true for many of us.

Dear guys,
After years of knowing that she has this need, your wife/girlfriend/lover finally told you she wants to be spanked. I am guessing that at best you were surprised especially if you have been together 20 years or more. You may think it’s a passing whim. You may think it is just a random fantasy that has run through her mind; something best left as a fantasy not something she would like in real life. Plus you love this woman and you have no desire to hurt her. 

Then listen to me (because your girl may be too shy or embarrassed to say it again)! This is NOT something that just came up! She has had probably had this need since childhood. Please trust your lover, if she says she wants to be spanked – SHE DOES!

Yes, she understands that this sounds strange to you. No, she does not understand why she is this way.  Please stop trying to figure out why and just DO IT. If you do I can almost promise you that your sex life will reach heights that you never imagined. Ours did. I went from being fairly cold toward sex to someone will to try anything my husband or I can dream up!

It’s okay to start slow. I know you are not sure what she wants. You may even be embarrassed (but not as embarrassed as she was to ask). Start with your hand, a small paddle ball paddle or maybe a paint stirrer. From my experience and those of many of my friends, she will much more likely be wanting ‘longer’ and ‘harder’ spanking rather than asking you to be more gentle. Remember anyone from vanilla to hard core can always enjoy a romantic, erotic spanking. This may be all she wants.


If your wife/lover tells you she wants discipline that’s different. Discipline – that is a trickier subject. You will need to do more talking if this is something she wants. If the need for discipline in her life is ‘her thing’ it’s always going to be there whether you indulge it or not. If you are willing to try this, again – go slow. Pick a few things to work on together. I got my husband hooked by asking him to help me make the changes and choices to become healthier and lose weight.

It was rocky at first. I would mess up and he didn’t want to spank. He wanted to let it go or make excuses for me. I hated that and it hurt my feelings. I didn’t feel cared for or protected and I guess that is what we are looking for.

Although I know he did not mean to send this message this is the one I heard – 

“Sure I care but not that much. You are a big girl. If you know you need to do something and you chose not to that is your business. You are on your own because I find all this confusing and you are just not worth the effort.”

Fellows, I like I said, I know this is not the message you are trying to send to the woman you love. But to the spanko mind this is what comes through.
  When my husband did start getting it and a couple of times spanked me hard with the hairbrush for over indulging and slacking off on my exercise, I got a whole other message. 

“You are my wife. I love you, I love you way too much to allow you to run wild and put your health in jeopardy. I care enough about you to put some boundaries and guidelines around you to keep you safe. And yes I will wear you out if necessary to show you just how serious I am about my love for you.”

Nothing in my life has made me feel more loved, cherished, cared for or happy than for him to show his love for me in this way.

Alright fellows – I’m talking to you. If your wife or girlfriend handed you this or directed you here she agrees with me. Listen please! She is serious. This is a very important part of her life. She loves you so much or she would never have shared her secret with you. If you love her enough to give it a try she will test you some to see if you will be consistent and take this seriously. It’s all part of the learning together. But it is worth it, I promise you – it’s worth it.

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Dreamed Fulfilled

New story at Cassie's tomorrow!

Did you have a dream when you were a kid. Something you hope to accomplish in life? I did – it was a dream I know lots of people have. I never really thought it would come true, but it’s been in my head for nearly six decades. My dream – I wanted to write a book.

Some of you may be saying, “Umm… PK you’ve written a book. Actually, you’ve written fourteen. We can send you the links if you like.” That’s true and I’m really proud of all those books. But the dream wasn’t quite fulfilled. I wanted to hold the book in my hands.  

And now I can.

By pestering them nearly to death, I got Blushing Books to make paperbacks of the Cassie series available. Now to my average reader this won’t mean much. If you’ve read them on your Kindle, you don’t need them in paperback. But to me, it means everything. 

Last year I heard from a lovely reader who told me she truly loved all the Cassie books – but that the editing was not good and it really bothered her. I agreed. But once I’d done the edits that were sent to me by my publisher, I had no further way to make the corrections when I would come across them. When Blushing (who have better editors now than they did when I started) agreed to do the paperbacks, I asked them if it was possible for me to go through and re-edit them before they were printed. They said I was welcomed to as long as it didn’t cost them. 

It took months and months – the books read so much better now. Now don’t think for one minute I was able to do it. I still go to spellcheck for anything harder than c-a-t. No, it was my lovely reader – Rosie Dee who worked with me on this. And I mean worked! But we went through all ten. I have no doubt that mistakes might still be found, but they had to work to stay hidden from Rosie Dee! And she has my undying gratitude!

 All this re-editing and pushing for the paperbacks may seem silly to some, but I think about the future. Someday I may have grandchildren, but who knows when or how much of their lives I’ll be here for. If I’m not around when they’re grown they can read about Cassie and maybe think of me as this fun, vivacious, loving woman. Mollie will be sure they know they’re fictional, but they’re still fun. My own tiny bit of immortality.

Although there are ten Cassie books, they have combined them into five books – each containing two of the original. This made them the right length for a real ‘book’. So although they cost more than I’d like, people will be getting two books for this price.

I feel great contentment holding these books in my hand. I’ve fulfilled a dream and I just wanted to share the news with you.

You can find these here.

Tuesday, April 09, 2019

Didn’t see that one coming

I guess the jokes on me. I know Nick doesn’t read my blog. He never mentions any of the content, he never makes a comment either on the blog or to me – which he used to do in the beginning. So I thought it was a perfectly reasonable place to rant in peace.

I got much of my pre-trip frustrations out of my system in my last post and I was greatly heartened by the understanding and supportive comments. On Friday I sent Nick my weekly update letting him sorta know how I’m doing – eating right, visiting the gym. You know, the basics. So I was somewhat shocked later that day to receive the following email –

Funny, I don't see any mention about ranting over having to take a trip to a nice place at the beach and how your mean old husband puts you through such unbelievable inconveniences and ordeals.  A total shame what some wives have to put up with!

Griping, moaning, and disrespect.....could call for corrective measures!


That sneaky devil had snuck in and read my blog! Just when I  can fully predict my husband, he has to do something to mess me up. I sent an answering email –

And since when do you read my blog? LOL! Although in truth I didn't say anything there that I haven't said to you. I was just trying to get it all out of my system so I could be a sweet, loving, respectful, silent wife at the presentation.

Later as I was being led to the bedroom to further ‘discuss’ the matter. I pointed out that I thought I’d been very respectful by going off and griping to my friends rather that yelling in his face exactly what I thought of his plan. 

I also pointed out that the comments had been overwhelming on my side! Strangely, neither of these points seemed to lessen the spanking any.

But all well that ends well, and I have to say it ended very well. He also said we might have to revisit the consequences after the trip depending on how everything goes. I asked eagerly, “You mean if the presentation goes ninety-one minutes or longer, I get to spank?” It seems that wasn’t what he had in mind. I guess we’ll find out what he meant later.

The trip isn’t until May, but I’ll let you know what happens.

Friday, April 05, 2019

New story at Cassie's

Pop Cassie's for a new story if you get the chance.

Wednesday, April 03, 2019

Never Again - same title, different subject

Our trip was great. I got to see friends and spend time with wonderful people and now we’re safely home with beautiful memories. No one pointed and laughed at what I wore, so evidently it was appropriate and I even wore shoes. Well, most of the time.

We have another trip coming in May. To say that I’m less than enthusiastic would be an understatement. But more than that, I am totally bewildered as to why we’re going. This is all Nick’s doing and while I’ve agreed to accompany him I’ve already told him – never again! 

We’re driving to the beach, several hours away, to listen to a sales pitch for a timeshare! Neither of us wants a timeshare, neither of us would ever consider buying a timeshare. Why the hell are we doing this?

despise listening to a sales pitches – whether it’s for something we really want (new windows for our home) or something I do not want (a timeshare.) When Nick told me I just stared at him in stunned silence. His thought was, ‘Come on, it’s a free three day beach trip and all we have to do is listen to a ninety minute presentation.’

First this ‘ninety minutes’ usually turns into half a day. That notwithstanding, I’m too old to waste ninety seconds, much less ninety minutes, listening about something in which I have zero interest. 

I feel bad for the person making the pitch – I know they're trying to make a living, but their pat sales pitch makes me want to leap over the table and strangle them. When the window guy came, he kept bringing out samples of various type window frames and asking, “Would you want this type in your house?” They all looked like window frames to me. 

Finally, I snapped, “I haven’t read your script so I don’t know what my answer is supposed to be. Put away the crap you aren’t going to use and show me what you’re selling or just leave!” I rarely snap like this – I know many of these are young people doing exactly what their bosses have trained them to do, but don’t have to play along. I feel even worse, knowing that before they even begin, that we’re not buying what they’re selling so we’re just wasting their time and ours.

Nick voluntarily put me in this horrible situation. And for what? A three day beach trip – he doesn’t even like the beach that much. We may not be rolling in dough, but we can afford a three day vacation on our own and if we can’t I’m willing to sell blood or something! But never, never again will I go to one of these dreadful things.

Thank you, thank you – I really needed to get that off my chest. I realize this is certainly a ‘first-world problem.’ Nick hasn’t exactly asked me to accompany him to the depths of hell and we’ll probably have a good time. You’ve given me a chance to rant here and I really needed it. I know Nick won’t see it because he never reads my blog… but, that a rant for another day.