I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Never again

I’ve finished my shopping and I’m now it the middle of packing and getting everything ready to go. I enjoy going off with Nick and this should be a truly wonderful weekend. 

Today I want to tell you of a phone call I had last week. To say that it came out of the blue is a true understatement. Some of you might remember me blogging about a boss I had shortly before I retired. To put this as politely as I can – he was an ass. I posted about one of our ‘disagreements’ here, should you want to read about it.

He left and when on to be an assistant superintendent in a neighboring county for a few year, but now he holds that job back in our county. And it was from this fool, that my call came. He wanted to know if I’d come back and teach a short interim – about a month.

I didn’t go with my first response – hysterical laughter. I didn’t even go with my second response which was, “Aww, HELL NO!” Instead I told him I was on a tight writing schedule, working on my fifteenth book (which was only half true – I’m working on the fifteenth book but certainly on my own pace.)

He went on to tell me that they were looking for a good math teacher and that my name had come up. My immediate thought was, bullshit. The man can’t stand me and doesn’t think I was a good teacher (I was) and they were definitely scraping the bottom of the barrel if he lowered himself to call me.

It certainly did gave me a chuckle. No one is enjoying their retirement more than I am. I loved teaching and enjoyed my career for most of the time I taught, really until this fool showed up as principal. But nothing will ever get me back into that particular grind again. I’m just going to sit by the fire and write, travel a little, and visit with friends and family. That’s what my retirement is all about.

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

One thing decided

There’s a new story at Cassie’s today.
Also the lovely Ella has a review up today at Ella Ever After for Returning to Us. I hope you'll go by and check it out.

I did a little shopping. I found a few things that might be fine for the wedding. I asked Mollie to come help me make some decisions. I tried everything on, getting Mollie’s approval. I still haven’t made a final decision on what I’m going to wear to the wedding, but I definitely feel better.

As I was changing outfits, I wandered into our bedroom wearing nothing but my panties. Nick was there and I told him I’d decided that was what I’d wear to the wedding. His answer, “Nope. Not appropriate for the wedding. But I think I do think that will be a perfect outfit for later in the evening.”

One decision made.

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Trying to start a new trend

I’m going to a wedding soon. I like going to wedding. I look forward to seeing the bride and her family. I’ll see other old friends there. I’m anticipating good food, good drinks and good fellowship. But there are problems. I want to honor this young couple and their families and that means dressing appropriately. Getting down to the ugly truth, it means wearing a dress.

I hate and despise wearing dresses. I have a nice dress or two. I don’t look bad in them, but I feel as comfortable as the average man would in a dress. It’s utterly foreign to me. Basically the only reason I’m wearing the dress is pure peer pressure, (that’s what the other girls will be wearing.) Grrr….

But, fine, I’ll wear a dress. That not even the trend I’m trying to change. I’ll put on the uncomfortable bra, I’ll stuff myself into a pair of spanx and I’ll be presentable. Except, except … why in the hell to I have to wear shoes?

I personally think all shoes should be outlawed unless you have to go out and it’s cold. The only exceptions should be for tennis shoes or sandals – the soft flip-flop kind. My problem is that neither of these is suitable for wedding attire.

When you wear pants you can get away with nearly any type shoe. But with a darn dress that doesn’t work. I can’t wear shoes without socks or hose. I don’t own a pair of hose at the moment and I’m guessing the socks wouldn’t add to the overall classy look I’m going for. And then there are the shoes themselves. I’m short, I’d love to wear heels – they make your legs look longer and sexy.

But the last time I wore a pair of beautiful, sexy stilettos was over thirty-five years ago. I could get a new pair, but I don’t think falling down and breaking my neck at the wedding will add to the classy feel either.

I went shoe shopping this past weekend – I found nothing. I know the size I wear in a comfortable, firmly ties tennis shoe. But in a dress shoe? It’s not even close to the same. I’ll be looking again later this week. 

Do you think there’s a chance I could get Nick to switch outfits with me? I’ll get a nice man’s suit. I’ll deal with wearing a tie and Nick could wear the bra, the panty hose, the spanx, the dress and the stilettos. I know he’s be as comfortable in them as I would be.

I’m just griping for effect. I really am looking forward to the wedding – and getting to see everyone. Nick and I are going to make a whole festive weekend of it. And I promise to look appropriate. But I am having a pedicure just before we go – just in case I decide to show up barefoot, that’s the new trend I’m going for.

Friday, March 08, 2019

New Story

I hope you'll come by Cassie's Space for a new story today.

Wednesday, March 06, 2019

The magic pill that brought me here

Every now and then it’s interesting to look back and see what brought each of us here. I’ve posted about it before, but for my new friends, here goes.

When my children were ‘middle aged kids’, nine to fourteen, my parents health began to decline and I took over much of their care. I was teaching full time, caring for them, doing the lion’s share of the kid care which - was mostly chauffeuring at the time and I even did the cooking back then. Nick definitely helped out whenever he could, but I felt the responsibility.

When Mom passed away I didn’t have much time to grieve as my dad Parkinson worsened.  When he passed away fifteen months later, both their deaths seemed to hit me at once and it was a very sad time. But I had two kids to look after and life went on. Nick and I were not close at the time. It was definitely a roommate situation. We got along, we never fought, we just led our separate lives as well matched roommates.

Then, fairly suddenly, something was wrong with me. I’d be fine when I woke up and I could teach during the day. But shortly after I got home, I was in pain. First it was my hands and fingers. I’m talking really bad pain. It would be gone the next morning, but by mid-afternoon it was back and it was spreading. It soon became excruciating. I couldn’t get up from a chair by myself. I couldn’t turn my head. I couldn’t even read a book because putting my two fingers together to turn the page hurt so much I’d cry.

I began going to bed right after dinner so I could go to sleep to get rid of the pain. Mollie brought her little mirror from her room and put it on my nightstand so I could see the TV before I went to sleep. I couldn’t turn over once I got in bed. Yet the next morning the pain would be 90% gone, until that afternoon.

I went to several doctors. I had x-rays, injections, scans, no one seemed to know what it was and they gave me pain pills – which didn’t touch the pain. I dealt with this horrible pain for about four months. It doesn’t seem like a long time when I think about it now, but nearly one hundred twenty days in that kind of pain made it seem like a long time, at the time.

Then I went to a rheumatologist.

This man looked at my hands and oh so gently felt of my fingers and listened to my description on my days. Then he said, “I think it’s Palindromic Rheumatism.” And went on to tell me a little of what that was. But basically, like the doctors before him he said, “Take one of these pills each morning for a month, then one every other day for a month.” I took one the next morning before school. 

By three that afternoon I was somewhat surprised that the pain hadn’t shown up. By seven or eight that night I was amazed that the pain hadn’t returned. This enormous pain had been so much a part of my life for the time I had it.  I remember actually looking over my shoulder wondering where the monster was. It never came back. With that one little pill, it was over. Of course I took them exactly as the doctor had prescribed and now, nearly thirteen years later I always have some on hand. When there is a ‘flair up,’ I usually feel it beginning in a finger. If the pain is still there the next day I take one of these magic pills and it’s gone. I rarely have to take more than five pills a year. This miracle for me was the very medication Windy spoke of in her post recently – methylprednisolone.

After all that, after feeling that my  life was essentially over, I suddenly felt wonderful! And I wasn’t planning on wasting the feeling. What do you do when you get your life handed back to you? I didn’t do to Disney World – I typed, s-p-a-k-n-k-i-n-g into my Google search!

I found a few stories, a few pictures and then I found Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts and I bloomed. I read every blog I could find, I began blogging myself, first as Cassie and then as me. I met others like me that I could talk to and I could ask questions without strange or disapproving looks. These were just normal, everyday people with whom I shared a slightly strange desire.

And lastly and most importantly – blogging gave me the courage to open up to Nick. To  tell him of my desire. Nick was stunned, incredulous, shocked… pick your word, but mostly pleased and willing to try whatever it was I wanted to try. At fifty and fifty-five we went from friendly roommates to a hot, sexy couple who couldn’t keep our hands off one another. Mollie would often wander into the kitchen or living room to find us hugging or maybe sharing a quick kiss. Usually she would snap, “Get a room!” to which we would reply, “We have one. You’re in it. Get out.”

We didn’t stay at that sexy peak. If we had, we’d probably be dead now. But it’s still so much better. We are so much closer than we were the first twenty some years of our marriage. I’m most grateful for the pain I went through, which lead me eventually to a wonderful doctor, a magic pill, and a desire to seize life. That led me to reading blogs, friends, blogging myself and eventually writing. 

You never know what you may need to go through to get to where you want to be.