I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

You must be 18 to view this site.

Monday, May 07, 2012

NOW I have something to say!

I saw my chance and I took it! 

Here’s how it happened.  Nick has as more reasons to complain about me than there are tea leaves in China, but he rarely does.  There is one thing, however, that he has mentioned several times over the years that he really wants me to change, yet I haven’t. He sent me an email yesterday mentioning it again.   He simply wants me to initiate sex more often.  This is hard for me for some reason; it may go all the way back to ‘nice girls don’t do such thing’.  Whatever the reason, I’ve let him down in this area.

In his email he gave me carte blanche for whatever I wanted to do.  From simply telling him to meet me in the bedroom at a certain time to, as he said “…or you can initiate along the lines of your own fantasies, desires, when you have been reading or writing “hot” or simply set out to please me. The mood can vary from somewhat passive to very dominant.  A little variety can be exciting.”  So I began thinking, I’ll have Nick’s undivided attention and I can do anything I want, hmmm…

I decided to take this opportunity to tell/show him the exact roll I’d love him to fulfill as the leader in this TTWD relationship.  I’m not the spanker in this relationship.  Don’t want to be, it is not a turn on for me.  But Nick has never been one to mind me showing him how a certain implement feels in moderate use.  I gave serious thought to want I wanted to tell him – when I wanted to be spanked, how often, for what reasons, even to where the spanks should land – not too high, not too low.   I was warming up to this idea. 

Some things had to be taken care of first so that the afternoon could go as planned.  First PK and Badass grabbed Wimpy from behind and locked her in a closet. Then they flipped to see who would spend the afternoon with Nick.  Badass won.  Next I emailed Nick the following:

Well, well, well… so I get to choose how we get to spend our play time today.  Sure you’re ready for this?  I was just thinking that maybe this would be a good time to tell/show you exactly what a good husband would do to help his wife become a better person, thinner, more healthy, better house keeper, remembering the to turn off lights and fans, etc.  Perhaps I won’t be quite as tough on you as might be necessary for you to be on me, but I think you’ll still get the idea.  Then, after I feel you understand what you should be doing, there might even be a little reward for you to kinda ease the sting of learning.  You won’t be able to take notes, so pay attention.

Feel free to make special requests and I will consider them.

Love you

In reply he wrote:

Thanks for the update.  As for special requests it appears that I may have already made one too many! But I trust you will make things exciting.

As afternoon rolled round, I encouraged him to settle down on the bed and get comfortable as I got ready to give my helpful lecture, and with one final kick to the closet door to tell Wimpy to stop whimpering we began. 

I told Nick these are the points to remember:

1     1.You have my permission to spank me whenever and wherever you feel it will be beneficial.

Nick gave me a wicked, evil grin when I told him his and repeated “wherever?” I told him YES! Wherever!  Now I don’t recommend everyone do this, it’s just that I know Nick so well I feel completely safe.  He’d be more embarrassed at being seen than I would be.  I went on to explain.

For example, it’s beneficial to us if I am at a healthy weight, if I exercise enough to keep my body strong and flexible and my bone density high. You could spank me when you don’t feel I am truly working to reach that goal.

Other things will benefit us.  If the house get too messy (like the nest around my chair or the foot of our bed) and you are willing to ‘encourage me’ to change it, that would be a benefit. If (with your help) I remember to turn off lights and fans and close the windows when I leave for work, that's another benefit. I punctuated my thought with a few implements that I felt might be considered attentions grabbers.

Another huge benefit for me, and therefore us, would be if you would spank my ass when you sense that I’m going silent on you, that I’m mad, or sad, or stressed, or depressed or simply withdrawing.  I know this must seem like a minefield to most men.  They must be thinking “Hmm… my wife is in a really bad mood. I think she’s probably pissed at me. I know what I’ll do! I’ll put her over my knee and spank the hell out of her.  That should do the trick.” I know that’s what you’re saying in your head and for a man married to a vanilla it would have to seem crazy – But you are married to a spanko!!  So YES, that exactly what you should do!!

He was still somewhat doubtful and I had to remind him that we were only talking about the two of us – I have never refused to be spanked, I have never been mad at him for any spanking he has ever given me (although I’ve been plenty mad over a few he hasn’t given), I’m not going to change my mind.  And should that ever feeling ever change we will sit down and discuss it.  He can count on me that I will never be angry at him for doing exactly what I’ve asked of him.

2      2. You can achieve these benefits even when you’re really tired or if you’re away from home.
The use of a butt plug, the mat I bought, the application of hot creams… done at your request, spoken, text or email have many of the same benefits. It makes me feel cared for and watched over.  And really how much energy does it take for a few fast swats in the kitchen, where you have so many choices, or saying “Go get the strap, hairbrush, etc…” for a quick little ass stinging.

I could hear Whimpy yelling thought the door to remind him that this was the last month of school and how very busy we were going to be, but Badass kicked the door once more and she shut up.

Another point I know Nick was thinking was that it’s very hard to spank someone who is sitting firmly in a chair with a computer on her lap.  True – but there are several easy things to try.  I know saying the following would do it – “Put that thing down.”  “Go wait for me in the bedroom, pants down.”  “Go get me the … and bend over right here.”  Really this can take as much or as little physical effort on his part as he wants.

And then the third thing he needed to know.
    3. I love our erotic spankings that end up in us having fantastic sex!!  I never want them to stop, but they are like dessert where these other ‘beneficial’ spankings are the meat, potatoes and vegetable of the meal.  I need more than desert.

 Nick knows this, I’ve told him often enough, but life gets in the way and it’s not something he thinks about every day and so sometimes it slips his mind for longer periods than I wish it would.  It’s the same as me initiating, I mean to, but I just forget.  We’re both going to try to do better for each other.

After my show and tell lecture we did move on to the dessert of the day!  Since I was initiating I wanted to make extra sure Nick enjoyed himself and from all I could tell, he certainly did! We really did have a wonderful afternoon.  I'm sure going to have to remember this if there are other really important things to tell him.


  1. PK, that head of yours must feel very crowded at times.
    Poor old Nick, such a demanding wife. LOL!
    Glad that you had such a wonderful playtime, meat and six veg will keep your spirits up, and your butt warm.
    Love and warm hugs,

  2. Good for you, PK! I hope Nick was listening.


  3. So happy for you on so many levels!!!! I will come back and read again & also send to my musicman. Well thought out points. Also, I appreciate the meat and potato vs just dessert. I bet you'll have an extra skip in your step today:o).

  4. You go girl. I will have hubby read this post. As you know, it rings so true for us. We'll have to have follow -ups.

  5. All those comments hit home for me although I have never worked up the nerve to say it. Good for you, I hope it works! It sure sounds like it did.

  6. I love it PK, well done you.

    I'd love to hear Nick thoughts on his afternoon:)


  7. What a creative way to get your points across!

  8. Oh, I may steal some of your phrasing here. I love the meat and potatoes line, MM is a meat and potatoes kinda guy who also has a sweet tooth, so that might help him get the right perspective.

    Good for you for locking wimpy up, I'm not so sure I could do it :)

  9. Paul,
    You are so right! Demanding! But he wasn’t complaining Sunday. LOL!

    I really hope he was too.

    You are so right. Now if I can just get Nick to provide a balanced meal.

    Hope he steps up too. You know after all I said, Badass goes and leaves the fans on all night. LOL!

    You may be surprised at what you eventually find yourself saying.

    Wouldn’t it be cool if he would write just one post?

    It sure was fun – for both of us.

    You take anything you like! It’s all about trying to understand ourselves and help our men do the same. Don’t worry; I’ll let Wimpy out someday.

  10. PK: I am so happy for you. Sounds like these empty nest years are going to get better and better. And let's hope that he follows up. And let's hope you initiate things more often. A hubby likes to know his wife wants him. It sounds like you two are on the right track. And keep wimpy locked in that closet and give Badass the run of the house.

    Good luck.


  11. Anonymous12:45 AM

    glad it all went wha,ping good lolol

  12. This is a very beautiful and interesting article
    The most glamorous one i have read today!

    High School Diploma

  13. Anonymous4:54 PM

    way to go you....im sure nick was listening :)
    hugs kiwi xxx