I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, June 05, 2023

Special Day


Today is a special day. As of today, Nick and I have been married forty years. And I have to say that sounds utterly ridiculous! How could a couple as young as we are possible have been married for forty years. Twenty maybe, but forty? When we did get married all those years ago, we had several people say something to me that struck me as odd. These people said, “You guy will make a great little old couple.” I wasn’t really thinking about that at the time, and I wasn’t sure what they meant. I guess it was there way of saying they knew we were in for the long haul and wouldn’t be divorcing. Apparently, they were right. According to many of Mollie’s friends we’re ‘precious.’ I guess that officially makes us a ‘great little old couple.’

We're not really doing gifts for our anniversary but there is something I’d like. I won’t get it, but I can’t help wishing. I think it would be nice for Nick to propose, you know, ask me to marry him. He never has. Now it’s become a running joke so I don’t suppose he ever will. But it would be a nice surprise. 

Nick and I are neither one big party people. Instead, we’re going out to our favorite restaurant with the three couples whom we credit/blame (whatever) for getting us together all those years ago. I guess I won’t be bragging too much about out forty years with these guys since all of them have already passed their fiftieth anniversary. But they were instrumental for us dating. 


One couple kept trying to set me up with dates. They set me up with a drug dealer, a young man from India who spoke no English and a man recently released from prison after he’d murdered his wife. No, they didn’t hate me, but this particular lady, Theresa, only sees the good in people and thought they were all fine men. Of course she also knew Nick, but never mentioned him.


About forty-two years ago one of the other couples threw a birthday party for Theresa’s birthday.  Nick and I were both invited. We talked a lot that night getting to know one another, and Nick’s best friend was there too and later encouraged Nick to call and ask me out. We’re going out with Theresa and her husband, the couple who threw the party and Nick’s best friend (best man at our wedding) and his wife. It seems we’ve all known each other for a lifetime now.

Secrets to a long marriage: 

·       Plan from the beginning for it to last forever. You’ll be making a promise to the person you love. If you’re not ready to promise, then don’t get married.

·      Marry someone who has lived on their own for at least two years. I’d lived alone for six years and Nick for thirteen years. We could take care of ourselves, we wanted to be together.

·      Make sure you like the person you’re marrying. Blazing love may not last for long. A deep like is much better.

·      Remember to be polite to one another. Keep saying please and thank-you throughout the years.

And most important,

·      Keep talking, tell each other what you want. Don’t demand it, but let the other person know. No one reads minds well no matter how much we wish that they could.


Monday, May 29, 2023

Wonder drug?

I guess wonder drugs are not always wonderful. I’ve been on Ozempic for seven months now. And while parts of the treatment are truly amazing, I’m not thrilled with all that it does. First the good parts. My blood sugar is doing great. I am still taking some metformin, but I’m down to one a day, rather than four. Anything that can get me off some meds is good in my book.

Now to speak to why I think most people are interested, the weight loss. I’ve been so shocked and pleased by all this. I’ve lost just shy of thirty pounds and that’s the part shocks and thrills me. But it’s still very strange. I can’t wear some of my favorite pants because I’m afraid that they’ll fall off in public. Looking in the mirror the other day I saw I had a thigh gap! My thighs have been rubbing together in a most annoying way for the past thirty-five year. I was stunned. I’m not quite used to all this change and I’m not sure what to do about my clothes. I still want things loose and comfortable, yet I’d like to show off the weight loss a little. I’m working on it.


I think being on Ozempic has taught me better eating habits, especially in portion control. You can’t overeat on Ozempic. You’ll be sick, I promise! When you’re full – STOP! I don’t care how good that last bite looks, if you feel full you better just leave it.


Now the not so good parts. It doesn’t work the same for everyone. A good friend began about a month ago and really hasn’t see much weight loss at all. Mine began almost at once.  I guess it reacts differently for different people. My biggest problem came when I went up to 2 mg. That’s when I began feeling nauseous most of the time. To be honest it was mild, but it didn’t matter. I either felt sick or felt like I was about to be sick if I did anything or even thought about eating. 

This went on for about two to three weeks and I decided I’d had enough. It was during this time I had that awful bout of vertigo (nothing to do with the Ozempic) so I’d felt pretty crappy for nearly a month when I told my doctor I was cutting the Ozempic down to 1 mg. Since then, I’ve felt human again, so much better. The best part is that my blood sugar is still down, and I haven’t gained any weight back. Now that I feel like exercising again, I feel like I’ll continue to lose.


Here are some thoughts for those of you thinking of trying it. Eat slowly and mindfully when you start. Don’t let your doctor rush you into increasing the dose. If it’s working where you are you don’t have to increase it right away. Now my friend is afraid to go up from .25 to .5 because she’s listened to my tales of woe. I suggested she try it. She’s not diabetic so she is only taking it for weight loss. If she isn’t losing on .25 and not willing to go up at all, then what’s the point of being on it in the first place. My most important piece of advice, pay attention to how you feel and while you should listen to your doctor and discuss things with him or her – the final decision is yours. Remember that.

Monday, May 15, 2023

A sentimental Mother's Day thought

I hope everyone had a good Mother’s Day. I got to spend the afternoon with Mollie, which is always nice. I got a text from LJ earlier in the day that just shows what a sweet, sentimental boy he really is. He found this tweet and sent it on to me and there are comments on it from from Collin and Mollie.


My mom is a prosecutor and every year she brings up the fact that Mother’s Day is the day with the lowest crime. I think that says a lot about how many moms commit crimes throughout the year but can’t today because they’re too busy being celebrated.


LJ: Something to think about

Collin: I’ve always assumed as much.

Mollie: It seems like something to look into.


Really, what sweet children.

Saturday, May 13, 2023

It didn't go as planned

We planned our trip to Florida months ago. We were taking a bus tour with some friends. All was paid for, bags packed, arrangement made for the cats. It was all go. But it didn’t go as planned.


We were to leave early Thursday morning. On Wednesday I was finishing up the last of the packing, last minute things. I haven’t been feeling great, but there was nothing really wrong either – I just felt tired and a little off. Around noon I stretched on the bed, it felt wonderful. There was a nice breeze from the window and I thought a short nap would be just the thing. Problem was I was barely out of that bed for the next twenty-four hours. About the time I was planning on getting up I was hit with the worst vertigo I’ve ever had (I’ve only had it twice before.)


If I so much as thought of lifting my head from the pillow, I began vomiting. The dizziness was as intense as anything I’ve ever experienced. Thank God for Nick. When I had to go to the bathroom – which is only steps from my bed I quickly realized it was impossible alone. It felt like I’d been on this for a solid hour or more.


Nick would guide me as I held my little container and vomited the whole way there and back. Although I took what the doctor had prescribed for me before nothing helped that day. I certainly couldn’t finish the little packing left to be done, couldn’t take a shower and I knew that there was no way I could ride on a bus for six or more hours the next day. So long trip.


By late was feeling so much better. Still a little dizzy and unsteady, but a tremendous improvement. Part of me feels guilty because of causing us to miss the trip, being out the money and letting down the friends we were to travel with. But it truth I know there was nothing I did to cause this and nothing I could have done to prevent it. Sometimes things just happen. Maybe I should just be happy it didn’t happen while I was on the bus or while we were there. Getting back would have been a hassle.


Not many bright spots I can see in this saga so far, except that I have lost several more pounds.  If you’ve ever taken advice from me, let me stress, do NOT try this method for weight loss – it’s not worth it!

Wednesday, May 03, 2023

Busy Weekend

My house seemed very, very full this weekend. We had Nick and me, and our two I cats – what I would usually call a full house. The we had Mollie’s dogs, those two beautiful Goldens! With what they left all over my house I feared we would send her home with two bald dogs, but no, they had enough hair to completely cover our floors and furniture AND still had more for her car and her house. Amazing!


Then, of course, we had my two boys, LJ and Collin. We loved getting to see them and we had some wonderful long talks. The dogs loved them, in fact the youngest wanted to be in LJ’s face every minute. LJ is more one to love seeing a dog lying close by rather that one constantly trying to get in his lap. Especially when said dog weighs about eighty pounds. But for the most part we all got along well.


We stopped by old elementary school where LJ and I both went, even Mollie began there. It was taken over by the town and has many little shops, and meeting rooms. There is a small bar and a large theater as well as a small museum. We were in one of the shops when Collin ask a lady working there if she was… and called her by name. She said yes and he told her he had gone to the elementary school where she taught and that he remembered her smile.  She seemed delighted. As we talked the other woman working there. she mentioned that she was a writer. I mentioned the problems I was having with my publisher – she had had similar problems and was able to recommend the lawyer she had used. I’d already called a few lawyers and they all said they didn’t do that kind of case. I feel like I finally have a place to begin.

I enjoyed going to the play and the retirement party with the boys. When their teacher saw them, she began to cry. She had really liked both of them and to think they had come so far to acknowledge her retirement really got to her. I mentioned to her that they hadn’t come for Christmas, but they did manage to get here for her. I told her that didn’t bother me a bit, I’d take them anytime I could get them.

Mollie’s trip to see Taylor Swift went smoothly and they all had a great time. But I was very happy when they all returned home safely. I took the boys to the airport on Monday. I’m not wild about the drive to the airport a good part of it is on an eight-lane highway with tons of traffic so it’s just not a drive I like to make – but I did it!


Now I can just relax at home, for a while. But next week Nick and I are heading to Florida for a few days. I’ll tell you all about it another time.

Monday, April 24, 2023

I like my numbers

I spent a while worrying and complaining here about my various doctor visit and annoying health questions, I figured I’d give an update. Let’s just say, I can’t complain.


For me my blood pressure was worrying me the most. It had way of going really high despite the doctor increasing my meds. We’re talking 190/108. Doc thought maybe a diuretic could help and put me on a very low dose. And that’s when the BP dropped to 80/59 in one day. I think, because of the sudden drop I felt really crappy for about a week. She was amazed that the tiny dose she had me on made that much difference.


The next thing that happened was that something on my blood test made her worry about my kidneys. She cut my diuretic dose in half and ordered a PVL renal artery duplex with veins – whatever the hell that was. Turns out it was just an ultrasound of the kidneys. 

BTW ultrasounds without a baby in them are dull. The results show that my kidneys are is great shape and that there is no problem with them.


Next, we worried about blood sugar. I was on a high dose of diabetic medicine, four a day and she hoped to reduce this with Ozempic. I’ve been taking it for about six months now and both the doc and I are pleased with the results. I was able to cut those four pills down to one per day, and this past week I haven’t taken any. Go me! My BS is where it’s supposed to be, and I’ve lost 24.6 pounds as of Sunday morning! I’m thrilled.

As for the CPAP machine. We are still not friends. And I still usually cuss at it most nights, but I have learned to tolerate it. At least until about five AM when I rip it off and get what I think of as some good sleep for the rest of the night. I go to the sleep doc this coming Friday and I have tons of questions – I still want to know exactly why I’m using it and how it’s supposed to be helping. I haven’t seen any of the result it promised about have more energy. But at least I no longer have the urge to chuck it out the window.

This does occasionally happen.

I know all health news is fleeting but for the moment my blood pressure is good, my blood sugar is where it belongs, I’ve been able to cut out some medicines and I’ve lost nearly twenty-five pounds. Mollie tells me she's counting on me being around another thirty or forty years. Being in my mid-sixties this seems a bit optimistic, but honestly I'd do about anything for my kids so who know. Anyway, I'm celebrating!


Monday, April 17, 2023

My boys and the importance of plays

I finally got confirmation that my boys are coming to visit later this month. Well, they aren’t coming to visit me specifically, but they are coming.  The real reason is a retirement party for a special teacher that both of them remember fondly. This was their theater teacher. There is a surprise party for her after the final performance of her final play. She has no idea that they’re coming and I think she will be very happy to see them.

Plays are a true connection for LJ and Collin. LJ remembers seeing Collin for the first time when Collin was the star of his senior play. LJ was there on a field trip with his third-grade class. This teacher they are coming to see was doing her student teaching that year. About eight years later Collin was again the lead in a local play and LJ was a town’s person in the same play. Eight years after that, at their wedding, Collin said, “I remember walking out on an outdoor stage in a small town in the south and a boy smiled at me and changed my life.” It was this teacher that encouraged LJ to try out for that play. She brings many, many good memories for my boys. And I can’t wait to see them!