I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, March 19, 2019

One thing decided

There’s a new story at Cassie’s today.
Also the lovely Ella has a review up today at Ella Ever After for Returning to Us. I hope you'll go by and check it out.

I did a little shopping. I found a few things that might be fine for the wedding. I asked Mollie to come help me make some decisions. I tried everything on, getting Mollie’s approval. I still haven’t made a final decision on what I’m going to wear to the wedding, but I definitely feel better.

As I was changing outfits, I wandered into our bedroom wearing nothing but my panties. Nick was there and I told him I’d decided that was what I’d wear to the wedding. His answer, “Nope. Not appropriate for the wedding. But I think I do think that will be a perfect outfit for later in the evening.”

One decision made.

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Trying to start a new trend

I’m going to a wedding soon. I like going to wedding. I look forward to seeing the bride and her family. I’ll see other old friends there. I’m anticipating good food, good drinks and good fellowship. But there are problems. I want to honor this young couple and their families and that means dressing appropriately. Getting down to the ugly truth, it means wearing a dress.

I hate and despise wearing dresses. I have a nice dress or two. I don’t look bad in them, but I feel as comfortable as the average man would in a dress. It’s utterly foreign to me. Basically the only reason I’m wearing the dress is pure peer pressure, (that’s what the other girls will be wearing.) Grrr….

But, fine, I’ll wear a dress. That not even the trend I’m trying to change. I’ll put on the uncomfortable bra, I’ll stuff myself into a pair of spanx and I’ll be presentable. Except, except … why in the hell to I have to wear shoes?

I personally think all shoes should be outlawed unless you have to go out and it’s cold. The only exceptions should be for tennis shoes or sandals – the soft flip-flop kind. My problem is that neither of these is suitable for wedding attire.

When you wear pants you can get away with nearly any type shoe. But with a darn dress that doesn’t work. I can’t wear shoes without socks or hose. I don’t own a pair of hose at the moment and I’m guessing the socks wouldn’t add to the overall classy look I’m going for. And then there are the shoes themselves. I’m short, I’d love to wear heels – they make your legs look longer and sexy.

But the last time I wore a pair of beautiful, sexy stilettos was over thirty-five years ago. I could get a new pair, but I don’t think falling down and breaking my neck at the wedding will add to the classy feel either.

I went shoe shopping this past weekend – I found nothing. I know the size I wear in a comfortable, firmly ties tennis shoe. But in a dress shoe? It’s not even close to the same. I’ll be looking again later this week. 

Do you think there’s a chance I could get Nick to switch outfits with me? I’ll get a nice man’s suit. I’ll deal with wearing a tie and Nick could wear the bra, the panty hose, the spanx, the dress and the stilettos. I know he’s be as comfortable in them as I would be.

I’m just griping for effect. I really am looking forward to the wedding – and getting to see everyone. Nick and I are going to make a whole festive weekend of it. And I promise to look appropriate. But I am having a pedicure just before we go – just in case I decide to show up barefoot, that’s the new trend I’m going for.

Friday, March 08, 2019

New Story

I hope you'll come by Cassie's Space for a new story today.

Wednesday, March 06, 2019

The magic pill that brought me here

Every now and then it’s interesting to look back and see what brought each of us here. I’ve posted about it before, but for my new friends, here goes.

When my children were ‘middle aged kids’, nine to fourteen, my parents health began to decline and I took over much of their care. I was teaching full time, caring for them, doing the lion’s share of the kid care which - was mostly chauffeuring at the time and I even did the cooking back then. Nick definitely helped out whenever he could, but I felt the responsibility.

When Mom passed away I didn’t have much time to grieve as my dad Parkinson worsened.  When he passed away fifteen months later, both their deaths seemed to hit me at once and it was a very sad time. But I had two kids to look after and life went on. Nick and I were not close at the time. It was definitely a roommate situation. We got along, we never fought, we just led our separate lives as well matched roommates.

Then, fairly suddenly, something was wrong with me. I’d be fine when I woke up and I could teach during the day. But shortly after I got home, I was in pain. First it was my hands and fingers. I’m talking really bad pain. It would be gone the next morning, but by mid-afternoon it was back and it was spreading. It soon became excruciating. I couldn’t get up from a chair by myself. I couldn’t turn my head. I couldn’t even read a book because putting my two fingers together to turn the page hurt so much I’d cry.

I began going to bed right after dinner so I could go to sleep to get rid of the pain. Mollie brought her little mirror from her room and put it on my nightstand so I could see the TV before I went to sleep. I couldn’t turn over once I got in bed. Yet the next morning the pain would be 90% gone, until that afternoon.

I went to several doctors. I had x-rays, injections, scans, no one seemed to know what it was and they gave me pain pills – which didn’t touch the pain. I dealt with this horrible pain for about four months. It doesn’t seem like a long time when I think about it now, but nearly one hundred twenty days in that kind of pain made it seem like a long time, at the time.

Then I went to a rheumatologist.

This man looked at my hands and oh so gently felt of my fingers and listened to my description on my days. Then he said, “I think it’s Palindromic Rheumatism.” And went on to tell me a little of what that was. But basically, like the doctors before him he said, “Take one of these pills each morning for a month, then one every other day for a month.” I took one the next morning before school. 

By three that afternoon I was somewhat surprised that the pain hadn’t shown up. By seven or eight that night I was amazed that the pain hadn’t returned. This enormous pain had been so much a part of my life for the time I had it.  I remember actually looking over my shoulder wondering where the monster was. It never came back. With that one little pill, it was over. Of course I took them exactly as the doctor had prescribed and now, nearly thirteen years later I always have some on hand. When there is a ‘flair up,’ I usually feel it beginning in a finger. If the pain is still there the next day I take one of these magic pills and it’s gone. I rarely have to take more than five pills a year. This miracle for me was the very medication Windy spoke of in her post recently – methylprednisolone.

After all that, after feeling that my  life was essentially over, I suddenly felt wonderful! And I wasn’t planning on wasting the feeling. What do you do when you get your life handed back to you? I didn’t do to Disney World – I typed, s-p-a-k-n-k-i-n-g into my Google search!

I found a few stories, a few pictures and then I found Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts and I bloomed. I read every blog I could find, I began blogging myself, first as Cassie and then as me. I met others like me that I could talk to and I could ask questions without strange or disapproving looks. These were just normal, everyday people with whom I shared a slightly strange desire.

And lastly and most importantly – blogging gave me the courage to open up to Nick. To  tell him of my desire. Nick was stunned, incredulous, shocked… pick your word, but mostly pleased and willing to try whatever it was I wanted to try. At fifty and fifty-five we went from friendly roommates to a hot, sexy couple who couldn’t keep our hands off one another. Mollie would often wander into the kitchen or living room to find us hugging or maybe sharing a quick kiss. Usually she would snap, “Get a room!” to which we would reply, “We have one. You’re in it. Get out.”

We didn’t stay at that sexy peak. If we had, we’d probably be dead now. But it’s still so much better. We are so much closer than we were the first twenty some years of our marriage. I’m most grateful for the pain I went through, which lead me eventually to a wonderful doctor, a magic pill, and a desire to seize life. That led me to reading blogs, friends, blogging myself and eventually writing. 

You never know what you may need to go through to get to where you want to be. 

Thursday, February 28, 2019

Nothing here

I have nothing for you here today - but there's a story over at Cassie's if you want to drop by. I'll get back to posting soon.

Thursday, February 21, 2019

Strangers on a track

This it definitely off topic - but when has that ever stopped me? I imagine most of you know that LJ is gay. I shared that piece of information a dozen years ago and posted about his marriage in 2013. 

I adore both of my children. I'm extremely proud of them both. So yesterday at the gym here in my little old southern town I had a very interesting encounter.

I was walking on the indoor track at my gym when a man about my age began walking with me and asked if I attended church anywhere. I told him yes, I’d been going to the same church for sixty-two years, more if you count when my mom was pregnant with me. He told me he was a Baptist minister and we talked a bit before I began asking him how his church felt about the LGBTQ community. He told me it was a grave sin and then it was on!  Very politely and in a friendly manner, I asked him if he felt the same way about people in his church who were divorced and remarried, had tattoos, ate shrimp or ham or had lived with their husband/wife before marriage. We discussed the differences between old and new testament. He told me what the Bible said to do with homosexuals and I asked him if his church had organized a group to head to Washington to stone the adulterer currently occupying the oval office.

 He talked of Sodom and Gomorrah and I pointed out that what the men there were doing was raping in hatred, having nothing to do with a loving gay relationship. He told me what Paul in the new testament said about the topic and marriage. I told him Paul wasn't Jesus and that when the two seemed to disagree with one another I'd stick with Jesus, who always said we were to love everyone - I told him that was what I tried to do and I felt God perfectly capable of handling anything else. We both talked. I stopped him only once to remind him we were strangers discussing a topic and that I wasn’t interested in being preached to, that I would continue the conversation only if what I had to say was heard as well. I know I said nothing that changed his views and of course he changed none of mine, but I proudly told him my son was gay and that he and his husband were two of the finest people I knew.

As I left the track I thanked him for our discussion and added, “We’ll have to talk again. In addition to being the mother of a gay child I’m also a strong believer in reincarnation!” I wonder if we’ll talk again or if he’ll run in the other direction when he sees me coming?

This post was just to tell you of my interesting encounter. If you want to begin a long discussion about sex, religion or politics I'd rather you email me. (elisspeaks@yahoo.com)  Then I can either email back or ignore you depending on the tone of the email! LOL! 

Monday, February 18, 2019

Searching for Old Friends

*New story at Cassie's.

Bonnie had an interesting post here looking for some of our old friends who no longer blog. Just reading that made me long for old friends. I was so happy to see Abby pop up over there and I hope to see her in the land once again. 

This post is to look for these old friends. I’ve been lucky enough to keep up with a few. I’m sure some just didn’t have the time, interest or energy to continue blogging. That’s fine, I’m not trying to get them to blog again (though that would be wonderful) I just want to know if they’re okay. Many of the ones I list here are very, very old blog – some have been gone a decade, but if one of them reads and pops in to say hello it will be worth it to me.

I hesitate to put up a list, I know I’ll be leaving so many off – but this is MY list, not a list of all bloggers we miss. But these people I list are those I felt close to and that I miss personally. For the few I am lucky enough to keep up with outside of blogging I’ll put Alive & Well. But for most I’m hoping they or someone who still knows them will do the same.

Eva at Nothing Random, Alive & Well

CeeCi, Alive & Well

Mthc, Alive & Well  Mthc never actually blogged, but was a great commenter. We still talk nearly daily.

Debbie, Alive & Well

*I’d really like to know how Theresa is! We were close for several years. She had a son near LJ’s age and I would so love to catch up.


Sar – fantastic blog – Pieces, it’s still on my blog roll if you just want a wonderful read.



Padme Amidale


Dove – I know she was from Australia

Purple Angel

Killisto (& Spanky)

Snow White

Todd & Suzy

Angel Brat

Andrades – I would love to hear from her 
and find out why she left. It was just so abrupt.



Emerald Eyes

Mistress Sky 

There are three others I’d like to mention

Mthc’s husband, David, pass away several years ago. He used to leave wonderful comments, a truly great guy.

Paul – such a dear friend. Though he never blogged he was a staple here for so many years. I believe he comment on every single post I put up on my various blogs until he became too ill to do so. He’s passed on too, but I still miss him.

And then there was Bas – Bas was a love! His kindness and wisdom was a true breath of fresh air out here. When he died it was a blow to us all. I’m still in touch with his wife from time to time and she is well. 

If you have see yourself on this list, or if you are in contact with anyone on this list please leave a comment or email me at elisspeaks@yahoo.com