Today is a special day. As of today, Nick and I have been married forty years. And I have to say that sounds utterly ridiculous! How could a couple as young as we are possible have been married for forty years. Twenty maybe, but forty? When we did get married all those years ago, we had several people say something to me that struck me as odd. These people said, “You guy will make a great little old couple.” I wasn’t really thinking about that at the time, and I wasn’t sure what they meant. I guess it was there way of saying they knew we were in for the long haul and wouldn’t be divorcing. Apparently, they were right. According to many of Mollie’s friends we’re ‘precious.’ I guess that officially makes us a ‘great little old couple.’
We're not really doing gifts for our anniversary but there is something I’d like. I won’t get it, but I can’t help wishing. I think it would be nice for Nick to propose, you know, ask me to marry him. He never has. Now it’s become a running joke so I don’t suppose he ever will. But it would be a nice surprise.
Nick and I are neither one big party people. Instead, we’re going out to our favorite restaurant with the three couples whom we credit/blame (whatever) for getting us together all those years ago. I guess I won’t be bragging too much about out forty years with these guys since all of them have already passed their fiftieth anniversary. But they were instrumental for us dating.
One couple kept trying to set me up with dates. They set me up with a drug dealer, a young man from India who spoke no English and a man recently released from prison after he’d murdered his wife. No, they didn’t hate me, but this particular lady, Theresa, only sees the good in people and thought they were all fine men. Of course she also knew Nick, but never mentioned him.
About forty-two years ago one of the other couples threw a birthday party for Theresa’s birthday. Nick and I were both invited. We talked a lot that night getting to know one another, and Nick’s best friend was there too and later encouraged Nick to call and ask me out. We’re going out with Theresa and her husband, the couple who threw the party and Nick’s best friend (best man at our wedding) and his wife. It seems we’ve all known each other for a lifetime now.
Secrets to a long marriage:
· Plan from the beginning for it to last forever. You’ll be making a promise to the person you love. If you’re not ready to promise, then don’t get married.
· Marry someone who has lived on their own for at least two years. I’d lived alone for six years and Nick for thirteen years. We could take care of ourselves, we wanted to be together.
· Make sure you like the person you’re marrying. Blazing love may not last for long. A deep like is much better.
· Remember to be polite to one another. Keep saying please and thank-you throughout the years.
And most important,
· Keep talking, tell each other what you want. Don’t demand it, but let the other person know. No one reads minds well no matter how much we wish that they could.