I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, November 30, 2022

No cooking, no cleaning

I should be cleaning house, but as you can tell, I’m trying to write a post. My house isn’t horrible, but I’m wondering if it will ever get ‘clean.’ You know what I mean, all the rooms clean at once. 

I usually do a deep clean twice a year. And of course, like many, this is only when company is coming.  I clean for my family reunion in August and when the boys come home for Christmas, usually in January.


But this year because of several wedding, we didn’t get together here for the reunion – no deep cleaning. And then I get the news that the boys aren’t coming for Christmas this year. I’m disappointed, but I understand. They've come for Christmas for the past eleven years. We’ve gotten to see them twice in the past two months and the biggest reason is that their cat is very old and not well at all. They just don’t want to leave him at this time and I’d be the same way if it were my ‘baby.'

As much as I want to see my boys for Christmas, I’ve tried to look on the bright side. The best part is, I don’t have to clean!

I have one guest room and one junk room with a fold out sofa. When all the kids are home, Mollie takes that room, but for the rest of the year it’s where I put ‘stuff’ that I don’t need but am not willing to part with for some strange reason. It doesn’t take long to fill up. Now I can close the door and forget about it for another year.


I also don’t have to host the large dinner that we invite my sister and her family to. I don’t have to think of vegetarian dishes for Collin. My sister has invited us all to her place. I’m off the hook for cleaning and cooking and that part thrills me.

(Sister does it fancier than me.)

I’m still looking forward to our Christmas celebration. Mollie will come and stay and bring the dogs (cats aren’t too thrilled, but…) We’ll get to see sister’s family and we’ll face time with the boys. Now I just get have to get the packages mailed on time.

Friday, November 25, 2022

Fantasy Friday - The Long Day

I was so happy to get a new Fantasy Friday from Samantha. She has written for us before, but not for a while. Everyone is invited to write a story for us any time you like. You can sent these stories to elisspeaks@yahoo.com. But for now, a big thank you to Samantha!

The Long Day

She shifted on the bed, not quite ready to change her mindset. It had been a long day, full of minor annoyances that had all added up. She forgot to put the laundry in the washer despite the many promises to do so before work. A customer called and asked stupid questions that she didn’t want to deal with. She forgot to wear her work pants as a result of not doing laundry. And to top it off, she forgot her hair tie, and her hair had begun to tangle itself on virtually everythingshe came into contact with.

She tried to convey this to him, but it didn’t feel like he was even listening or caring that she was tired and stressed and just wanted him to hold her and tell her she was okay. So she huffed and stomped her way upstairs, tossing her purse to the floor. E must have heard the stomping and huffing and he appeared in the doorway. He didn’t yell or raise his voice. He pointed to the bed. “Sit,” he ordered, and then left, not waiting to see if she listened or not. “Maybe I don’t wanna,” she said quietly, not wanting him to hear her. He spun around on the top step, no doubt hearing her mutter something. “If you’re not sitting on that bed by the time I’ve come back, you’re gonna be one sorry girl," he warned, a warning he would only give once.

So here she was, sitting and fidgeting and plotting her escape. She flopped backwards on the bed, sighing dramatically. Footsteps sounded on the carpet and she sat up. Maybe he didn’t hear her move out of position. “Stand up.” He didn’t waste any time, shrugging his hoodie off, and watching her to see if she would listen or not. She stood, hesitant and waiting for him to do something. “Pants down, and come here,” he pointed at the floor in front of him. She moaned, and her hands went to the front of her jeans, but made no move to slip them off. He raised an eyebrow. She huffed at him, her lips forming a pout. “Little girl, I won’t say it again,” he warned, eyes narrowing. She reluctantly and slowly slipped out of them, eyes threatening to spill tearsthat were forming.

She stood in front of him, refusing to make eye contact with him. He tipped her chin up, watching her eyes flicker with annoyance and trepidation. He sighed. “Today was hard wasn’t it little girl,” he said, watching her face shutter with exhaustion. She nodded, hoping that he would just hold her. “I hate it there, and I don’t want to go in tomorrow,” she sighed. He brushed his fingers down her arms, noticing her melt into his touch. “It’s hard but you and I know tomorrow will be different. New day, new slate,” he offered, smiling slightly at her. She huffed, and reached for him, but he held her at arm’s length. “Today was hard but that doesn’t excuse the way you acted when you got home,” he said quietly but sternly. She sighed, and made to turn away, but his grip on her arm prevented her from moving too far. She grumbled, trying to remove his hand from her. His grip tightened and he tugged her till she was now facing the wall adjacent to him.

He tucked her arms out of reach, and bent her slightly forward. She whimpered. This wasn’t what she wanted at all. “You might not want this, but you cannot disagree that you haven’t earned it," he pointed out, knowing she was now glaring at the wall wishing it was him. He rubbed her back, and slid his hand down and tugged her panties down. ``Wait not yet!” she yelped, struggling to move away from what was about to happen. His hand landed on her backside, and he quickly went back and forth, watching her skin turn pink and then red. She yelped and twisted every which way, trying and failing to avoid his hand. He landed a particularly hard smack on her upper thigh. “Quit moving,"  he ordered, hearing her yelp. She quit struggling, choosing instead to stomp her feet a tiny bit.

He paused the assault on her ass, and stood her up. Her eyes were red and puffy from tears, and her hands fluttered around her sore backside, but made no move to rub quite yet. “Bend over the bed,” he said. She moaned, but did as he asked, the fight no longer worth it to her. He sat by her side, flattening one hand on her back, the other reaching for a spoon she could not see. He rubbed her sore backside, and then began again. The spoon was effective, each smack drawing out a yelp from her. Any promises she made to stay still went out the window as soon as it landed. She twisted, throwing a hand back to block the volley. He grabbed the stray hand, and landed a hard volley of smacks to her thighs, turning them crimson within a matter of minutes. She shrieked, and buried her head into the blanket. “Please no more,” she begged, broken sobs and hitched breathing following the plea.

“I will not tolerate this behavior. It does not look good on you. It does no good for either of us. The next time you need something, you come to me and ask directly for it. No more stomping. No more huffing and throwing things just because I can’t read your mind.” And with that statement, he redirected the spoon and landed 20 smacks to her sore and swollen ass.

Her body went limp and she sobbed into the bed, deep shuddering breaths in between sobs. He set the spoon down, and rubbed her back till her breathing began to calm down. He scooped her up, and set her on his lap , shifting her weight off her backside. She curled into him, breaths turning lighter, till he suspected she’d fallen asleep. He tucked her into bed, planting soft kisses on her head. She sighed, and her hand moved to grasp his. “I love you,” she breathed, and thenshe was asleep again.

Tuesday, November 22, 2022

I’m so excited about today!

It’s an ordinary Tuesday, why am I so excited? Because it’s an ordinary Tuesday. Ordinary days are my very favorites. There is so much going on. There have been a bunch of doctor visits. Yesterday, I was in charge of decorating our church for Christmas. There were about a dozen of us and we had a good time.


Tomorrow I’m going shopping with Mollie – and you know I love spending time with Mollie. And of course the next day is Thanksgiving and we’ll be seeing Nick’s family. I enjoying visiting with them and the food will be good.


But today… today Nick is at work, and I don’t have to go ANYWHERE! I’ll wake up when the sun wakes me up. I’ll fix a little breakfast when I feel like it. After watching GMA and a little of Kelly and Ryan, I’ll get a cup of coffee and head to my writing room. I’ll turn on my gas logs and curl up with one of the cats and we’ll write a little. Mostly emails today. My sister sent me one of her books to beta read for her, so I’ll spend some time doing that. 

And if I read enough to make me sleepy, I’ll stretch on in the recliner and take a nap. I have all the fixing for a nice meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner. And after dinner Nick and I will watch the next episode of the Crown and then I probably watch a movie after he goes to bed.

I can only imagine how dull that sounds to many of you – but it’s my very favorite type of day. Special days are fine – Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother’s Day, birthdays, etc… but my very favorites are ordinary days when I can stay home and do exactly what I want to do all day.

Thursday, November 17, 2022

Welcome all!


Hello everyone! Welcome to Love Our Lurkers Day! I'm proud to say I've taken part in everyone so far. I wanted to write a little about spanking today. I know I rarely do, but if you’re still lurking here you certainly deserve it, so just a word.


I am a spanko. I was born a spanko and I have no doubt I’ll die a spanko. The fact that we no longer practice the lifestyle has nothing to do with it. If you too are a spanko I get you. I completely understand your secrecy at times, your longing for the lifestyle, your giggles at some spankings and your tears at others. You’ll never look at an array of belts or wooden spoons without the thoughts in your head. 

I have a decade and mores worth of old posts asking spanking questions, telling spanking stories, giving spanking instruction and suggestions for how to get your partner to spank. Please, please go back and look. In fact, the same can be said for most of us bloggers. Go look in everyone’s archives!


When I was thinking of writing today post something I read in a book a long time ago came to mind. I read this close to fifty years ago and not only did I remember it, but I was also able to find the book! Though it was written for something entirely different it made me think of the journey through life as a spanko. I’m paraphrasing a little of it.


We’re on a journey though the ins and outs of the spanking lifestyle. As you wander through the different blogs get comfortable, visit with us and let us gain knowledge from one another. Here we can talk of our experiences. It’s good to see this lifestyle through the eyes of others.

There is acceptance here. You are welcome to come and go. We may not be here tomorrow – we’re on a journey ourselves, you know. Please stop and speak. Through these posts may we all enjoy and gain strength from one another.


Thank you for coming by today. Please come by anytime. It’s true, we don’t know where we’ll be tomorrow, but we can enjoy today together.

Wednesday, November 16, 2022

The Challenge, part two

I survivied yesterday's endoscopy just fine. The doctor said all looked well but they will do all the test and send me a letter soon. After I got home I got a call from the sleep clinic and asked if I could come do the sleep study tonight (Tuesday night) so I should be leaving here in a minute with my little pillow to sleep with electrodes hooked all over me and a mask on my nose. It's been a great day. No matter, here's the rest of the story.

The Challenge, part two

Angie resigned herself to her fate. She just hoped he would hurry. She wasn’t too worried about the pain but the embarrassment of submitting like this was paramount in her mind. Until Jonas’ first swat – suddenly pain was right in the front of her mind again.

“Owwww! THAT HURT’S! Not so hard!” The sting was way more than she was expecting.

“What makes you think you have any control of this?” Jonas asked sternly. Spanking hurt and you will be doing all you can to avoid another one.”

The paddle descended again eliciting another howl. “There will me no more skipping sessions.”

At the third swat Angie began kicking. This was way more than she was expecting. Jonas ignored her except to put his leg over hers. “You are responsible for what you eat. Snacks at school and no excuse – you are a grown woman and you decide what you eat.”

Each spank was delivered with great force and right at the top of her thighs. Ten had seemed like a low number when Jonas had started but she hadn’t counted on them being this hard. Seven more seemed like a huge number! With each spank Jonas had a piece of advice.

- get more sleep

- don’t be so easily discouraged

- ask for help if you need it

- don’t be late

- remember that you deserve to be healthy

- ALWAYS read a contract before you sign it

Jonas paused before the last one. “One more to go Angie and you need to remember this – I’m going to be here caring about how you are doing until you start careing yourself.” With that thought he delivered the hardest swat yet and Angie found herself limp and sobbing over Jonas’ lap thinking that if it has been any longer she couldn’t have stood it. That man spanked HARD! She was trying to control her tears as Jonas helped her to her feet. He hugged her as she got control of herself.

“Do you understand now that this is not a game? It’s a chance for you to get some control back. You deserve to live a long, healthy life and that starts today. Now are you ready to get started?”

Angie rubbed at her backside – “I think I’m too sore to work out tonight.” She told him with a shy smile.

“I’ll be more than happy to provide more motivation if you think it’s necessary.” Jonas offered.

NO! No, really you’ve done plenty! I’m ready to work out, but maybe not the stationary bikes, okay?”


Ten weeks later…

Angie woke up slowly in Jonas’ arms. This morning had been the final weigh-in, total loss in three months 27.4 pounds. She wasn’t sure whether she or Jonas was prouder. He had been true to his word and had been at her side the whole way. She couldn’t help thinking back to that first time he had spanked her. She had been in shock – and pain. That day she was sure she would never give him an excuse to spank her again but there had been a few times.

The next time she had blown up during a difficult training session and stormed out. Jonas has come looking for her and found her in the ice cream shop close by. She hadn’t been able to get the first lick of her double dip cone. Jonas had taken it right out of her hand and tossed it into the trash. Angie had been livid! She had told him exactly what she thought of him – to the entertainment of everyone in the shop. When she finally ran down Jonas took her hand and led her back to the gym.

She hadn’t been able to keep her pants on that time. Shorts and panties had come down – the evil paddle out and as she had had her say in the ice cream parlor Jonas had his say with the paddle. And it still hadn’t got her out of completing her work out that night, red rimmed eyes, sore bottom and all.

But over the months she and Jonas had grown closer and closer. He invited her running (well walking at first) and soon they had begun eating dinner together most every night. Angie was so happy. She knew how much Jonas cared for her.

But even with their closeness it hadn’t kept her from getting several penalties for being late – one of her biggest problems. Angie shuddered as she remembered the strap. The first time – five on her bare butt had kept her on time for two weeks but eventually old habits won out. That last strapping – all to her thighs – had done wonders for her tardiness problem!

But this morning’s weigh in was the best. She made her goal, got her $500 back and received a delicious kiss from Jonas in front of everyone. They soon found themselves back in Jonas’ office.

“You did it honey! I’m really proud of you.” Jonas kissed her again and Angie felt herself growing damp at his touch.

“I can’t believe it! I know I’m not through but now I can work out without worrying about your nasty paddle. I’m glad that contract is OVER!” Angie sighed.

Jonas laughed. “Yes the contract’s over – I won’t be spanking you for breaking it. But now you’re really mine – and if you back slide or don’t do everything you can to take care of yourself you’ll see those past spankings as nothing more than love pats.”

“What do you mean, you can’t spank…” Jonas’ kiss stopped her in mid-sentence. ‘Oh what the hell’ Angie thought to herself as she melted into the kiss, ‘we’ll talk about it some other time’.


Tuesday, November 15, 2022

An update and a story

A quick update: As you read this, I’m at the hospital having my endoscopy or hopefully I’m on my way home. And for the really good news – I have a UTI! I realize that isn’t usually good news, but I think it explains why I’ve been feeling bad for the past little while. My brilliant editor, Rosie Dee, suggested I have the doctor check for it and sure enough that was the problem. Antibiotics are now on the job and I hope to be back to 100% soon.

Now that I'm seriously trying to lose wight again I thought I'd repost an old story I wrote. Hope you enjoy.


The Challenge

Angie stared at the mirror in disgust. How had this happened? At twenty-four how had she become a fat blob? She had had to work to keep her weight down in high school but college had really gotten her. The freshman fifteen had become the sophomore twenty and on and on. Taking a teaching job so far away from friends and family didn’t help. Eating and vegging in front of the TV had become her main source of comfort and relaxation. She hated the weight, hated the feeling of lethargy, and she hate the feeling of sadness that overcame her when she passed a mirror. But try as she might nothing seemed to motivate herself to get started.

Until she saw the ad in the paper several days later. It was from the gym she passed on the way to work.

Three month weight loss challenge
No membership required
Improve your health and lose weight

Money back guarantee!

Hmmmm…. That could work, only three months, didn’t have to join for a year and your money back if it didn’t work. Now maybe this was worth a try. Angie called for an appointment.


The appointment was for an information meeting in a group of about fifteen. An instructor walked in precisely at 6:00 p.m. and began the program introduction. Angie hid a small smile at the sight of him. If this was the eye candy available she was pretty sure she would like this program. At 6:05 two women entered chatting quietly and the instructor turned to them.

“Excuse me ladies were you coming to the information meeting on the weight loss challange?”

“Yes,” one answered smiling. “Are we in the right place.”

“No you aren’t. The meeting began at six and you weren’t here. This program only accepts serious applicant. Being late tells me you are not serious. Good day.”

Every mouth in the room fell open at the man’s rudeness. The two women stared at him nonplus before coloring slightly and leaving with out another word. The instructor began again.

“My name is Jonas. I have an excellent program to offer but as you just heard me explain I will only be working with people that are committed to what they are doing. Not all of you will be accepted but those that are will reach their goal.”

“Who decided on what that goal is?” a woman from the back asked the question Angie was wondering about.

“At your private assessment we will decide on that goal together. We want to push you but the goal has to be realistic and obtainable. Only when we come to a mutual decision will you be able to sign a contract.”

“Contract?” another woman asked. “What kind of contract?”

“This is a strict program,” Jonas explained, “You will be required to come to the gym for a minimum of one hour a day, six days a week for the duration. It you can’t make it call to let us know and plan on staying an extra hour the next day. You will have some required classes, access to a private trainer and a nutritionist. There will be required weekly weigh in, motivational sessions when necessary and penalties for not complying with the contract.”

‘Geeze,’ Angie thought to herself, ‘this sounds more like boot camp that a gym program.’ But at the same time she was excited. This could work!

“You haven’t told us how much this is going to cost.” Came another inquiry.

“That’s right I haven’t,” he agreed. “Before I tell you the cost I want you to know that this program works. It’s not cheap and it’s not easy – but it works. The cost for the three months is $500.”

Five hundred dollars?

Was he out of his friggin mind? Angie heard muttering and chair scraping all around her as several women got up and left. ‘I might as well go with them,’ Angie thought. Her entire fortune at this point consisted of $575 in savings and her $85 in checking. But she was hooked now and she had to know what he was going to say next.

Jonas made no effort to stop any of the women from leaving. He waited quietly for the room to settle and then continued. “Well, now I know who is serious.”

Angie couldn’t keep her mouth shut any longer. “I can’t afford this program but I have to know one thing, you said a money back guarantee. Are you saying that if we follow all your rules and still don’t lose all the weight we get that money back?”

"This challenge is only with yourself. At the end of three months if you have met or exceeded your goal then you get your money back – all of it.”


Her assessment had been a trial. One hundred eighty-five pounds! She was horrified. Jonas himself had been taking her measurements with an assistant writing down one horrible number after another.

“You need to lose around fifty-five pounds. Not,” he stressed, “in three months but that should be your over all goal. Based on what you have told me about your current eating habits and your lack of any physically activity, with work on your part you can lose twenty-five pounds or more during this program. You will be required to lose two pounds every week. Even if you lose two one week, you will still have two pound goal for the next week.”

“What if I mess up one week and don’t lose that much. Does that mean I blow my chance to get my money back?”

“Angie” he said looking intently at her. Damn he had beautiful eyes!“My goal is to have you improve your health and lose some weight. I also want you to get your money back. If you don’t make goal one week or miss a day at the gym you will have penalties and you may have to come to motivational sessions, but if you lose twenty-five pounds in three months you get your money back.”

“Now here is your contract. Read it all and read it carefully. If you decide you can live with the terms and conditions it spells out be here at or before five p.m. Monday with the signed contract and $500 in cash and we’ll get started. Don’t be late.”

Angie had debated with herself all weekend but by Monday the decision was made. She left school at 3:30 – to the bank for the money and on to the gym. She hadn’t read the entire contract but she felt she could trust Jonas and she knew she HAD to get that money back. What better motivation could their possible be? Grabbing contract and cash she headed into the gym.


Angie loved her first two weeks at the gym! Sore! Sore wasn’t the word for it. She was so sore she couldn’t move but it felt wonderful. It was new, it was exciting, she was meeting new people and best of all Jonas had seemed to take a special interest in her. He worked with her, pushed her, and encouraged her. And everything paid off. Saturday morning of the first week – 9:00AM weigh in and a loss of 3.2 pounds!

“Fantastic!” was Jonas’ response as she stepped off the scale. “I knew you could do it! I’m proud of you.” He told her with a smile and a hug. But remember – another two pounds next week. You can’t slack off any. And she hadn’t. Saturday morning of the second week showed her down another 2.4. Jonas’ smile was again a thing of beauty and his hugs were addictive. You know what works now, Angie. But keep at it, week three comes hard.

And it did. Everything seemed to conspire against her. Three birthday parties at school – true she could have refused the cupcake but they were home made and delicious. Her parents came by to take her to supper Wednesday and she didn’t even make it to the gym.

Thursday afternoon Jonas was waiting on her, he didn’t look happy.

“Where were you yesterday?”

For a split second Angie was flattered that he had even noticed her absence but the look on his face didn’t keep her flattered for long.

“You’ll be staying an extra hour to make up for it tonight and you’ll be working with me,” he stated shortly.

Angie’s temper faired suddenly. “Who died and left you boss?” she shouted. “I don’t have to stay here and be treated like this!” Angie felt tears of anger coming as she turned quickly to leave the gym.

Jonas was right behind her as she reached the door and he grabbed her hand. “Is this temper tantrum really worth $500? Angie the middle of week three is early for a motivational session but I know you need it. Come with me please.”

Angie let herself be lead to Jonas’ office. “Now what’s going on?” he asked kindly.

The kindness in his voice took her by surprise and took the edge off her anger. “I’m blowing it,” she told him truthfully. “I did so well the first two weeks but this week we have had snacks all over school. My folks took me out to eat and ordered dessert and everything. I missed a day exercising and I know I’m not going to make the two pound goal this week.” Angie was felt herself tearing up as she continued. “I know I won’t be able to do this. Nothing ever works! I’m going to be fat forever!”

Jonas closed the door and turned to her. He looked very stern this time. “I’m not listening to this. I think we need to address this right now.”

With no explanation or warning Jonas took Angie’s hand and led her to the couch. With one firm tug she found herself over his lap.

“What are you doing?” Angie shouted. “Let me go! What’s wrong with you, you jerk! Get your hands off me.”

Jonas acted as though he hadn't heard a word. Angie’s protests were ignored as he began a hard warm-up spanking with his hand. “You need to be quiet,” Jonas said in a quiet firm voice. “You had to know this was coming. Three weeks into a three month program and you’re ready to give up. I think I am beginning to see your problem. You give up on yourself. That’s not going to happen any more.”

“Know it was coming … are you crazy! Let me go, what gives you the right to do this to me?” she demanded.

Jonas continued to spank hard – Angie tried to stay quiet, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing how badly he was hurting her but she couldn’t help crying out at the hard pops. Finally, Jonas helped her to her feel and stepped over to his desk. Angie nearly headed for the door but she wanted an explanation. Her bottom hurt from the impromptu spanking and she rubbed it vigorously. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“First let me tell you who you are.” Jonas said as he held a paper out for her to take, “you are a young woman who signs a contract without reading it. Would you care to read the clause I just circled in red?”

Angie took the paper and read it swiftly. Good grief! Right there between the gym hours and the rules for proper attire:

• Motivational sessions will be given at the discretion of the instructor. A motivational session will use corporal punishment to encourage the participant to work harder and to maintain a good attitude. A wooded paddle will be used with a minimum of 10 swats and not to exceed 50 in one motivational session. (Not including a warm-up) Corporal punishment may be given over clothing or on the bear at the discretion of the instructor.

• Penalties may be occurred for missing sessions, tardiness, bad language, rude or abusive behavior toward the instructor. Penalties will be given with a leather strap and always on the bare. Penalties will build up to 5 before they will be given. No more that 10 in a give day.

Angie continued to stare at the words and at her initials beside them.

“Did you not sign this contract?” Jonas asked.

“Yes, but I didn’t…”

“Read it?” Jonas supplied. You should be spanked for signing a contract without reading it. Very dangerous. See what it’s gotten you into?

“You can’t spank me! You can’t be serious, I won’t let you!”

“Of course that’s up to you. You can leave right now but you will be breaking your contract and you’ll be forfeiting your $500.”

Angie started at him a moment longer. She couldn’t lose that money! How had she been stupid enough to get herself in this trap?

“I can’t afford to lose the money” she said quietly, not really believing what she was agreeing to.

“I understand” Jonas told her “Let’s get started. “Please bring me the paddle in the right hand drawer.

With a shaking hand Angie opened the drawer. The paddle looked wicked. She brought it over. He handed it to Jonas who in turn handed her a small towel. “Keep both hands on the towel” he told her. “I don’t want you reaching back. I don’t want to hit your hand by mistake.”

He pulled her gently down on his lap once again. “Angie you are going to receive ten and I am letting you keep your shorts on. But if this has to happen again it will be more swats and it will be on the bare. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Angie managed to say. She was feeling major relief. Ten, how bad could just ten be she thought. She quickly found out.

To be continued.


I'll have the rest of the story up tomorrow. I hope you'll come back.