I’m not talking about an individual spanking; I’m talking about the lifestyle. I have dreamed and fantasied about the spanking lifestyle since about the age of three. For most of my life it was just my secret and I enjoyed it privately in my own head.
I was amazed and incredibly happy when I actually got the chance to experience it in real life! Honestly, I was over the moon. It was like I fell in love with my husband all over again. We became so very close. I began blogging and met some amazing friends here. With a few major mistakes at the beginning, I began my writing career and it brings me great joy. Blogging about spanking and of course spanking itself made my life so much better. And I be forever grateful.
But what happens when it all stops? Of course, it was a gradual stop, but it stopped. There were a few retries and startups that last year. There probably would have been more. But I couldn’t take the emotional strain. Nick was never a true spanko. He tried his best, he really did. And I thank him greatly for his effort, but it’s gone from my life now. It’s gone from my brain. The desire is gone and I’m not trying to get it back. But sadly, it’s taken some of our closeness with it. We’re way better than before, but not as good as we were. If it weren’t for Cassie I have the feeling I would wither a little. Writing her still gives me joy and a connection to the spanking world.
I still want this to be a spanking blog, I feel bad when I go forever with no posts on topic. But it’s not there and this isn’t where I write fiction. I know I should probably give up the blog – it feels like a bait and switch these days. But I still like posting about … whatever. And I don’t guess that’s hurting anyone. My archives are full of great spanking content – go back if you get bored and take a look.
I know some of my readers well. I could write what they’re thinking right now. It would be some form of, “Talk to Nick! Tell him how you feel, discuss it and see what happens.” And to that I would say, “You are good friends and very wise. But it’s not going to happen.”