I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

THAT was a good day!

I had a great Sunday! Many, many good things happened. I’ll get to them but first the diet update. It was Thanksgiving you know… Nick and I agreed that I could weigh in on Thursday morning rather than Friday. He further told me I could avoid trouble if I was up no more than a pound with all the extra eating going on. And that what it was – I was up exactly one pound. That’s the first gain in 9 weeks and I’m not disappointed. I enjoyed the extra eating but it’s time to get back on the program and that’s the plan.

One of the great things that happened Sunday concerns Fantasy Friday. I’ve been hosting FF for just over 4 years now and each week I ask, encourage, and sometimes beg for stories. But as the years have gone by I get fewer and fewer new stories and I have to post repeats. Now that okay because there are new readers all the time, but still I love to offer new stories. And then, Sunday, I got three – count‘em THREE, brand new stories. And they are good stories! I love having the new stories to post but even better than that for me I get to talk to and get to know the writers a little. For me that’s the most fun.

And there was more fun yet to come Sunday afternoon. I got an interesting email from Nick. He got the idea somewhere that when Cassie gets in trouble maybe I should too. I emailed back that none of it was MY fault and there was no reason for me to be in trouble! Thankfully he ignored me and we had a great afternoon – cuffs, ropes, plugs, vibrators, various implements. It was a great way to celebrate getting our empty nest back. But it does make me wonder, if I’m going to get into trouble every time Cassie does will there be more stories or less? What do you think?

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Caution: Thoughts ahead

*I haven't been totally lazy on my vacation, there is a new story at Cassie's.*

I think having our nest full tends to make me horny. I’m not sure it’s just that, obviously with Mollie being home there is little chance for fun and games, but there are other reasons. I mean it’s not like we’re all over each other every minute when she is away. I know lack of privacy does tend to make me think about spanking and sex more, but it’s also that I’ve had time to write and day dream some while being off work. I think that is the biggest key.

I used to go for long spells where sex and the idea of spanking just didn’t do anything for me. Now when it was all in my head, before I came out, these ‘spells’ could last, sadly, for years. Now I’d say it goes in cycles. And I know it is affected by my time writing and day dreaming. Fantasying really feeds my libido. When I go too long without daydreaming I begin to get a ‘who cares, I’m not interested anymore’ attitude. Since we don’t do discipline or even spank regularly I have to use my imagination to keep it all alive. Its funny isn’t it. Some husbands need to come home with candy, flowers, maybe even jewelry to make their wives happy. Nick could stop and pick up a paint stick and I’d melt like butter.

When I spend time fantasying now I’m enjoying darker fantasies, maybe more towards BDSM, but not really. Its fantasies I don’t really share with Nick because I don’t want them all to happen in real life. I no longer worry about him spanking me for not doing laundry or staying up late, that’s not going to happen on a regular basis. I think now I would just like him to give me a long afternoon sometimes (and I could tell him when I need it) where he kinda follows some suggestions I’d be happy to email him. I think I want him to just let my dark fantasies play out in my head. Role play will never be one of Nick’s strong suits or mine either, but I know we could make this work. And I know it would do me a lot of good.

I have a friend who has written two really good Fantasy Fridays – they really pushed all my buttons but then she stopped, right in the middle of a story I might add! I contacted her recently and she say she wants to write more but she says it embarrasses her. She’s a little shut down too and lets out much of what she wants in her stories rather than real life. I know how she feels. So she and I are working together on the next part of the story. Her premise is right up my alley so we’ll see what comes of it. It’s her story to tell; I’m just making suggestions and trying to push her to write. Cross your fingers. I think helping her with this has gotten me fantasying big time. I think Mollie needs to head back to school and I need another week off!

Friday, November 25, 2011

Fantasy Friday, A Thanksgiving Tale

I hope everyone that celebrates Thanksgiving had a wonderful one. Mine was great and now to cap the weekend we have a brand new Fantasy Friday! Today’s story was sent by Sunnygirl over at Aimless Ramblings. She actually read the invitation I put and the end of each story and was kind enough to send a story! It is a great story and very timely. Please enjoy…

A Thanksgiving Tale

Margo and Jim were going to his sister Pat’s for Thanksgiving. With his sister it is never so much an invitation but rather an edict. It was always a hassle because of the drive and the kids never liked going to Aunt Pat’s because “there was nothing to do” there. Margo really didn’t want to go. She had asked Jim to consider asking his sister and her husband Jack to join them at their house so their boys, Brian and Bret, would be more comfortable. Pat was ten years older than Jim and her children were adults. It would be even worse this year because their son, Jack Jr. was in the Coast Guard and would be out at sea and their daughter Emily was going to her husband’s family. So it would just be Pat and Jack and Margo, Jim and the boys Jim thought it was a good idea if Margo could get Pat to agree to it. He had his doubts. He was right – there was no way Pat wanted to leave her home for Thanksgiving. She had been doing Thanksgiving Dinner for twenty years and wasn’t going to stop now.

So off they went to Pat and Jack’s. It was a long ride and the boys were getting antsy in the back seat. Even with their games they were doing what siblings do – arguing. Margo was starting to get a headache and they weren’t even halfway there. She started complaining to Jim that this wasn’t going to be a good day. Jim was getting tired of dealing with Margo’s complaints, listening to the kids bicker and putting up with heavy traffic. He was losing his patience. By the time they got to his sisters in Silver Lake, everybody was on edge.

Dinner was to be at 3:00 which meant they had two hours to wait before dinner. The TV was on to the football game and the guys were engrossed. Brian and Bret were outside playing with the dog and beginning to get hungry. They kept asking when dinner was going to be ready. Margo had finally had it and scolded the boys. Jim overheard and guided the boys out of the room. He reminded Margo that she was the adult and the boys were just hungry. She snapped that they wouldn’t be in this situation if they had just stayed home. Pat overheard their argument and started to cry. Now Jim was really upset. He tried to cajole Pat and appease his wife. Margo was in no mood to be appeased and continued to state her displeasure. Jim whispered in her ear that if she didn’t stop right then she would be sorry when they got home. Margo got the sobering message loud and clear and her hand absent mindedly went to her rear.

They had just sat down to dinner when the boys started arguing about whose turn it was to say grace. Margo had had it. All she could think of was that she had to get out of there. She jumped up from the table upsetting her glass. Cranberry juice was everywhere. Sue and Jack started to mop up the juice and the boys just shrugged their shoulders happy that they weren’t the ones to spill the juice. Meanwhile, Margo grabbed her purse and headed for the front door. After offering to help with the clean up, Jim followed right behind her. He grabbed her by the elbow and asked her to return to the dining room. She refused. By this time Jim was really upset – he was in his sister’s house and this was not the time to argue with his wife. He took her behind their car and gave her three hard swats to the seat of her pants and told her to stay out there until she could apologize and behave herself. They would continue this discussion later when they got home.

Jim came in and explained that Margo would be in shortly and they should begin to eat dinner. Eventually, a subdued Margo joined them and apologized for causing the mishap. The rest of the dinner went smoothly. After coffee and dessert, Margo and Sue started putting away the leftovers and getting the dishes done. After a while, Jim suggested they get on the road. Now Margo was the one that was trying to prolong their departure - she knew what was awaiting her once she got home.

The drive home was much quieter than the drive to Silver Lake. The boys fell asleep in the back and Margo tried chattering away to ease some of the tension between her and Jim. When they arrived home, Margo tucked the boys into bed. Jim told her he would be up to kiss them goodnight and she should just go into their bedroom to wait for him. Jim took his time entering the bedroom. He knew Margo would be nervous and the longer he waited the more time she would have to think over her behavior and dread what was coming. When he entered the room he sat down at the end of the bed and asked Margo to join him. He started lecturing her about her misbehavior. He placed her over his knee, pulled down her panties and proceeded to spank her bottom hard, no warm-up tonight. Margo started to whimper and wiggle around. Jim was having none of it and anchored her legs and began spanking her in earnest - left cheek, right cheek, middle, then concentrated on her sit spots. She was now sobbing loudly. She kept repeating how sorry she was and to please stop spanking her. After five more swats to each thigh he stopped and brought her up on his lap. He held her and told her how much he loved her and that he was sorry that she didn’t have a very good Thanksgiving. She apologized for ruining their Thanksgiving and said that next year she was going to make sure the turkey was the only thing that was going to be roasted.


I told you it was a good one! Sunnygirl I do thank you for sharing with us. I hope you’ll go by Aimless Rambling and read more of what she has to say. And once again, please, please think of sharing a story with us. I know every spanko has a story – I mean we had to fantasize or we would never have realized/admitted to ourselves that we are spankos. So just write that fantasy down and send it to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thoughts for Thanksgiving

Years ago, on a Thanksgiving morning, I was rushing around the house when Charley Gibson on Good Morning America began reading a prayer by Ina Hughes. I stopped for a minute to listen. The words he read pierced me and I've never forgotten them. It's probably been 15 years and I still think of this prayer often. I thought I'd share it with you this Thanksgiving.

"We Pray for Children"

We pray for children
Who put chocolate fingers everywhere,
Who like to be tickled,
Who stomp in puddles and ruin their new pants,
Who sneak Popsicles before supper,
Who erase holes in math workbooks,
Who can never find their shoes.

And we pray for those
Who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire,
Who can't bound down the street in new sneakers,
Who never "counted potatoes,"
Who are born in places we wouldn't be caught dead in,
Who never go to the circus,
Who live in an X-rated world.

We pray for children
Who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions,
Who sleep with the cat and bury goldfish,
Who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money,
Who squeeze toothpaste all over the sink,
Who slurp their soup.

And we pray for those
Who never get dessert,
Who have no safe blanket to drag behind them,
Who can't find any bread to steal,
Who don't have any rooms to clean up,
Whose pictures aren't on anybody's dresser,
Whose monsters are real.

We pray for children
Who spend all their allowance before Tuesday,
Who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,
Who like ghost stories,
Who shove dirty clothes under the bed,
Who get visits from the tooth fairy,
Who don't like to be kissed in front of the car pool,
Who squirm in church and scream on the phone,
Whose tears we sometimes laugh at and whose smiles can make us cry.

And we pray for those
Whose nightmares come in the daytime,
Who will eat anything,
Who have never seen a dentist,
Who are never spoiled by anyone,
Who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,
Who live and move, but have no being.

We pray for children
Who want to be carried
And for those who must,
For those we never give up on
And for those who never get a second chance,
For those we smother.
And for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind
enough to offer it.

We pray for children. Amen.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The best feeling ever

First a diet update. I told you last week that I lost 2.2 pounds. I hadn’t really believed it that morning. I actually had Nick come in to see the scales. I got off and shook them, got on and off a couple of times and it still read the same, down 2.2 for the week. That was Friday morning. By Sunday evening it was all back. Negative thought began creeping in, “You should never have told them. Now they’ll know you blew it. Blah, Blah, Blah…” But taking all the advice and support you have all sent I didn’t give in and feel like a failure. I just kept with the program and tried to stay with my WW points, and exercise. By mid week it wasn’t looking too good. I still hung on, drank lots of water and prayed.

This past Friday I crawled on the scales, (drum roll, please) down .2 pounds!! Clearly not a ton but I lost! I think just not gaining would have been enough but this felt good. Weekends are really hard for me. For one thing we eat at Nick’s moms. Paula Dean has nothing on my little MIL. Yesterday this 87 year-old, cooked for the usual, about the 16 of us. We had smoked pork, chicken and dumplings (my very favorite), mashed potatoes, green beans, Crowder peas, corn, mac and cheese, cooked apples, homemade biscuits, yeast rolls, black berry cobbler, lemon cake and coconut pie with ice cream. What am I supposed to do? I’ve been able to not go crazy or I wouldn’t have lost for the past 9 weeks straight but it’s tough sometimes.

Tomorrow my grade level is bringing food for the staff Thanksgiving celebration. The 7th grade did this for Halloween and I didn’t even go in the room where it was all spread out. But I have to help tomorrow. I’ve made a blueberry angel food cake. Mollie has wanted to try some receipts she’s found on Pinterest so she made me 3 loaves of banana/cream cheese bread and then some pumpkin/cream cheese truffles dipped in white chocolate. So… We ate out with friends Saturday night, lunch at MIL's Sunday, Mollie cooked a Sunday night supper (I usually skip Sunday supper), enough food at school to send an elephant into a coma and then back to my MIL’s for Thanksgiving dinner Thursday night before heading back for regular Sunday lunch next week. And I think I just gain 3 pounds typing all this.

Some of you may have looked at the title and now think that losing is the best feeling ever – nope. Not even close, I’m getting to that. Back when I first came out to Nick I was so happy and excited about the change in my feelings that I had to do something concrete to celebrate – to acknowledge the change. I did two things immediately – I began letting my hair grow out of the tight curly perm I’d had for over 20 years and kept it straight (Nick and the kids told me it was a wonderful improvement) and the second thing I did was begin sleeping in the nude. I realize for those of you with little kids at home this wouldn’t be practical, but I have to tell you I love it!!

The best feeling - the very best feeling in the world is crawling into bed with Nick. I’m usually very cold (we turn our heat down at night). My side of the bed is downright icy, but as I slip in Nick turns and envelops me in his warm arms and pulls me to him. He’ll cup my breast, then rub my butt as I press against him for warmth. It’s bliss. To lay there in his arms, so loved, so protected, this has to be a little preview of heaven itself. It’s the best feeling ever.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Versatile Blogger Award

Both Mikki over at We're Making up for Lost Time and Composing Us gave me the Versatile Blogger Award. I thank them both kindly. I appreciate thought and the award very much. I have enjoyed reading the seven things about many of my friends, but actually they have given me a very difficult task. You know I’ve been blogging for 5 ½ years now. There’s really not much left to tell unless you want my address and bra size! LOL! But I guess there are new readers checking in all the time so maybe some of this will be new to them.

Here were the rules:

Thank the award giver and link back to them on your post.
Share 7 things about yourself.
Pass this award along to 15 blogs you enjoy reading.
Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award.

1. I love getting older! My 50’s (I’m half way through now) have been wonderful. I’ve opened myself up so much more to my husband so we’re closer. I’m to the point of my career where it’s going to take more paper work to fire me than to leave me alone, so mostly they leave me alone. And I have the joy of an empty nest, together with the knowledge that my children turned out well. They each have goals for their lives and are working to achieve them. They are happy and healthy and looking to their futures. Can’t ask for much more than that.

2. I am a firm believer in reincarnation. I was born with this belief and I remember being about 4 and asking my Dad if I could come back as a boy the next time. Dad didn’t believe in reincarnation at that time but he had read much about it and had an open mind. His answer was, “You’ll have to ask God about that.” I still believe, but I DON’T what to come back as a boy!

3. I LOVE spanking pictures, but only males spanking females. Women as spankers don’t do a thing for me.

4. My goal, my fantasy, my dream is to be able to publish Cassie’s stories as a series of books. The first one is all done and ready. A publisher is very interested but the wheels grind slowly.

5. This blog has brought into my life amazing happiness and joy and also gripping sadness and depression. Even with that traumatic experience I am inordinately happy that I found this community and became a part of it.

6. I communicate a thousand times better through the key board than I can in real life conversations. I hate face to face confrontations and used to go to any length to avoid them. I’m better than I was, but I would still prefer to write my thoughts.

7. I love being home!! My favorite day is one were I don’t leave the house for anything. I can write, read blogs, watch TV, listen to music, nap – anything I want. I think I would make a good hermit as long as I had an internet connection.

There you have it. I hope some of this is new to someone. Many of my favorite blogs have received this nod so I will do as Faerie did ask all who are willing to participate to consider yourself nominated or awarded or whatever! Let’s go with those seven things.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Fantasy Friday, A Painful Lesson

Happy Friday. It’s cold here but with Thanksgiving around the corner I guess that’s to be expected. I’m holding my breath for the weigh in later this morning. I was so proud of losing 2 pounds last week but it seems over the weekend I put it right back on. I’ve worked this week because Nick says that maintaining will be fine going, but back up isn’t. I hope he sticks with that because I should be able to at least maintain and I don’t want to gain one ounce back.

Today we have a brand new story today from one of our favorite bloggers – Kiwigirliegirl! Some of this is based on real life with a little extra to really spice it up. It’s a great story to warm us up on a day like this. There is another little surprise today. I’ll tell you at the end.

Please enjoy…

A Painful Lesson

She couldn’t believe how much trouble she was in.

Sitting there in her room, on her bed, crossed legged, her chin resting in her cupped hands, she sighed deeply as she thought about her predicament. The big double bed, which only the morning before was the scene of their love and happiness and ecstasy. She glanced out of the window and thought that the weather was an exact reflection of her mood. Dark and somber clouds moved quickly across the skies as the wind picked up its pace and rattled through the trees that tapped and scraped across the window, dark; cold and foreboding.

Henry had never been so angry at her. She trembled as she remembered how yesterday afternoon he had rang her livid that his credit card had been declined. He couldn’t understand what was wrong with it. But she did. She had failed to make some payments for no other reason but distraction, forgetfulness and laziness. And now it had been frozen. She had the letter at her office and had not shown it to him thinking she could get it sorted before he found out – but she didn’t sort it out. Not in time anyway. She had fobbed him off on the telephone saying she had no idea what was going on and that she would find out. But she knew that when she got home from work she would have to admit the truth to him.

She shuddered as she remembered the cold hard angry glint in his steel blue eyes. The narrowing of his mouth and the twitch in his jaw line as the muscles in his face worked hard to keep his mouth closed as she sat next to him on the couch and told him the truth. That she had forgotten to make some payments and it had been frozen. He leaned forward his elbows on his knees shaking his head into his hands.

“Do you have any idea how embarrassed I was today?” He growled. “I spanked your ass not so long ago over this card, it was not even meant to be used and then I found out you had almost maxed it out – not funny darling not funny at all – we were keeping it for our holiday and you used it, without my permission, maxed it out, didn’t tell me – which is basically lying to me. Did you not learn from that spanking?

“Well, I tried to fix it babe…and didn’t you have your other card with you?” she said trying to sound light and not too serious…trying to lighten the mood. That was a big mistake.

“Obviously not hard enough and that’s beside the point. It should never have come to this in the first place. You ran it up in the first place and then you have the nerve to tell me you forgot merely forgot to make payments. How irresponsible of you? If you think you are responsible enough to have a credit card lady you then you are responsible for the consequences. You obviously didn’t take me seriously last time I spanked you over this issue. You deserve a severe beating for this, you realize don’t you?”

She must have tutted under her breath. He swung around quick as a flash and slapped her across the face. Not hard but it stung and tears immediately filled her eyes. She hung her head.

“Don’t you dare tutt at me madam.”

“I’m so s s sorry” she stuttered, trying hard to swallow the lump in her throat.

“Sorry is not good enough lady. I’m so mad at you right now that I can barely look at you. I need to calm down before we take this conversation anywhere else. You can go to bed. Right now”.

“And I don’t care what the time is.” He added as he saw her glance up at the clock and gasped the early time. She was not expecting this.

“That’s the first part of your punishment” he continued. “And tomorrow is Saturday you can stay in your room all day. I have damage control to see to tomorrow, but you will remain in your room, grounded. Spend some time to think about your actions and your attitude – then we will change it for you. NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT”

She remembered practically jumping off the couch and almost running to the bedroom, flinging herself down on the bed she sobbed. She fell asleep eventually and when she awoke she was alone but was covered up under the blanket. The pillow next to her had an imprint of his head in it so at least he had shared their bed last night. She was relieved at that.

She got up and saw the note next to her. It read.

“I meant what I said last night. You are grounded today. You WILL remain in the house. I cannot make you stay in the bedroom but you WILL not leave the house. I have disabled the TV and the telephone. I have taken your keys to the car. You will spend this time thinking about your attitude, your behaviour. I will be home soon so don’t even think about going anywhere. You have your mobile. But you cannot make any calls. I will text you with instructions. Think about what you have done, how it affects us and how you are going to change and what you are going to do to change this attitude. And think about this, think about what I have planned to help you change your attitude.”

She shuddered as she re-read the note. Even his words held that tone of authority in them.

The house was eerily quiet with no TV or computer or phone. She had lost all her appetite and so after she had showered and gotten dressed she sat on her bed, she wandered around the house, moved things here and there, went back to sit on her bed to contemplate her fate.

The last time he had spanked her for the credit card, yes he was mad but nothing like this. It was Sunday morning and they had been in bed, it had come out the day before that the card they were keeping for a short holiday had been used by her, she was kneeling on the bed talking to him about it, and he suddenly took her across his knee and walloped her with his belt for it. It was the first time he had spanked her since she had brought this idea of discipline into their marriage to him. It hadn’t been a severe spanking, but enough to hurt, enough to have taught her a lesson – or so she thought. So he had thought.

As she sat crossed legged watching the sad cold dark weather outside, in the quiet of the house, her cell phone beeped a message at her. She jumped a foot. She hesitated, she knew who it was, Henry, with instructions for her.

She hesitated, her hand hovering over the phone as she sat cross legged on the bed. She picked it up and flicked it open to read. She read it slowly the butterflies dancing their nervous little fluttery dance in her stomach. Henry was determined to teach her a lesson, one that she wouldn’t forget in a hurry. Goose-pimples pricked her skin and a sickly nervousness landed in the pit of her stomach. She was to make the bed and lay pillows in the middle. She was to prepare his implement and lay them out on the bed in order of priority, the cane, the paddle, the studded strap and then his leather slipper. She was then to strip naked and stand in the corner of their room hair tied up out of the way. She was stand there, with her hands on her head, nose to the wall and think about her actions and come up with a valid reason as to why he shouldn’t punish her for this. He would be home shortly. Disobey at her peril.

She didn’t dare disobey as much as she wanted to pull and push against this. Spanking was one thing but being treated like a naughty girl was another. She was a grown up. What was she thinking she thought to herself as she laid out the implements one by one. As she undressed and folder her clothes up on her dresser and stood naked in the corner of their room, nose pressed to the wall, hair up in a high pony tail, hands on her head.

As she stood there completely bare she felt exposed and vulnerable. She started to feel a little angry at Henry for putting her through this. She was a grown woman for goodness sake. But she slowly started to think about what she had done, there was no excuse it had been selfish to start off with to use the credit card anyway, she was irresponsible for not paying the bills, no excuse, she could afford it, she just didn’t bother. She was lazy and selfish and didn’t think and put her family under stress that they didn’t have to feel. She began to feel embarrassed and disgraced, she felt humiliated and she did feel like a naughty girl. She had let her family down, she had let Henry down she had let herself down. She felt the anger slip away from her, her stance softened against the wall her defiance quietly leaving her body. She really couldn’t think of any good reason why she shouldn’t be punished for her actions. She deserved it.

“Yes, I thought as much” Henry said softly as he watched her body language change from the doorway. “I thought you might come to realize you are wrong and that you shouldn’t be angry at this" She had been so engrossed in her thoughts she didn’t hear him come home and she jumped and spun around at the sound of his voice.

“Did I say move?” he asked her sternly

“No” she muttered and turned back around.

“NO what?” he demanded.

“No Sir” she whispered.

“That’s better. Now, you can talk to me, but stay facing the wall young lady. Could you come up with any good reason why I should not punish you severely for your actions yesterday?” He demanded.

“No sir, except that I’m really sorry and it won’t happen again.”

“I know it won’t young lady. But I don’t think you are truly sorry just yet. Standing in the corner naked is hardly punishment if a spanking last time didn’t teach you, this will, will it?”

She shook her head.

“OK. Come here” he said sternly.

She slowly turned around and walked the very short distance to him. He took hold of her chin in his hand and lifted her face so that she was looking directly into his eyes.

“I’ve calmed down since last night. I’m not angry anymore. But I will still punish you. It’s not easy for me. I know this is going to hurt but you need to learn. Learn to be responsible which in turns teaches you to be responsible for the consequences of your actions. Now bend over.”

He gently took hold of her wrist and bent her over his knee as he sat on the end of their bed. He placed one hand on her back and raised his legs slightly so that her hips and bottom were raised. He stared smacking straight away.


Six quick smacks hard and fast on her bare bottom making it pink very quickly. She was breathing heavily by the last one.

“Why are we here?” he asked her.

“Because” was all she managed to say.

SMACK SMACK SMACK his hand came down harder.

“Ow” she yelped wriggling. He pressed harder into her back and cocked his leg across her thighs.

“We will try again shall we – and address me correctly. Why are we here, why are you here in this position”


“Owww, because I can’t be responsible…Sir” she gulped, tears springing to her eyes.

“That’s right and it’s my job to teach you”


“Y y yes s sir” she stammered.

He spanked her hard and fast then her bottom burning at his hand. His hand was getting sore too but he continued.

“I won’t tolerate such behaviour any more baby. It’s not good, you need to learn. It’s my job to teach and if this is the way you want to learn so be it.”

“I I’m s s s sorry” she managed to sob out as the spanks rained down on her bottom.

“I know you are. But not sorry enough” He replied and stopped “now get up” he helped her off his lap. He moved her towards the bed.

"get on the bed and bend over the pillows" he instructed. She hesitated looking at the implements trying to catch her breath, tears spilling down her face.

"NOW" he demanded sternly.

With that tone she got quickly onto the bed and lowered herself over the pillows and waited. Henry picked up the cane first and tapped it against her bottom. She flinched and gripped the blanket in front of her. "Stay in position and this will be over before you know it baby, move and I will add more to your punishment."

"Do you understand?"

She hesitated to answer and suddenly she heard the cane whip through the air and she heard it make contact with her skin before she felt the bite.

"Owwwwwww. Yes sir" she wailed.

"Good" he said tapping the cane against her bottom watching the red welt appear across her cheeks.

She gripped the blanket tighter and steadied her legs as she prepared herself for the upcoming onslaught of the whippy cane against her skin.

He started, raising the cane above his head and whipping it down hard on her bottom
whoosh crack three times hard and fast across her bottom. She howled and wriggled.

"Stay in place" he warned.

Another three came down hard


She lay sobbing her bottom and thighs burning.

"Are you going to be more responsible young lady" he asked her rubbing her bottom with his hand. She flinched slightly at his touch, the welts rising up and burning. She nodded and muffled a yes into the blanket.

He laid the cane down - much to her relief.

"This is not over yet baby. I know it hurts but you have to be taught a lesson - and that’s my job. You were so completely irresponsible, I trusted you with that credit card to make the damn payments and you didn’t. You let me down, you caused me completed embarrassment and I am so disappointed in you. Do you think this is a game? Huh?"

"N no s sir" she sobbed "I i m s sorry. I’ll do better, I promise" she hiccupped, sobbing.

"I know you will baby, but just to make sure..." he said more gently now picking up the wooden paddle. She spun on her side "Nooooooo sir please" she begged.

"Turn around and lay back down. NOW" he growled at her.

"I have to make sure you know that I mean business. That I am serious, woman. This is not a game and you NEED to learn to be responsible. To behave. To follow the rules I set for you to make this family better, to make US better. Now turn around."

She did as she was told, all her fight gone, exhausted and sore she gripped the blanket once more and waited for the thud of the paddle stinging and hard on her already sore and welted bottom.
She hated the credit card with a vengeance now. She would be happy if she never saw it again she thought to herself as she gripped on for dear life as the paddle smacked down on her bottom.


And then it was over. She lay there spent, crying and hiccupping and sobbing. Her bottom and thighs were burning.

"You did good baby you did good" he said gently as he pulled her into his strong arms and cradled her head into his chest.

He sat there rocking and stroking her hair as her crying slowly subsided.

"I’m so sorry baby" she whispered. "It won’t happen again."

He nodded kissing her softly on the top of her head.

"I know that darling. I’m sorry that I had to do that, I’m sorry you put us both in that position. But i know you have learnt a very painful lesson. Come on now, let’s go clean you up." He took her by the hand to the bathroom so that she could wash her face and dry her tears.

Once done he took her back to the bedroom and they lay on the bed snuggling and close. Her heart swelled with affection and love and respect for her husband. She slept quite soundly snuggled safe and secure in the arms of the man she adored so much. When she awoke he was still there with her and once more their bed was the scene of their love happiness and ecstasy.


I knew you’d like it. Kiwi you write a great story! I hope you’re working on even more. And now for the other little thing to make the story even more special, the last picture was sent to me by a reader. She and her spanker do a little photography too. I appreciate her willingness to share. So thank you to both my friends for the story and the picture. If anyone else is writing a story I’d love a chance to post it, please send it to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Invasion coming

Our empty nest is being invaded. Mollie has three days off next week. But all her teachers cancelled classes on Tuesday too, and then all but one cancelled for Monday. Sooo… since she hasn’t missed any classes so far this semester she wants to come home on Friday. WHAT! Someone else living here for 10 days!! You know I’m mostly kidding, I do love my baby! But she has been home several weekends lately. One weekend was a party, the next she had a couple of babysitting jobs. I wouldn’t mind a weekend with just Nick.

Last weekend while Mollie was working Nick offered me an afternoon for play and reward. And I turned him down. I felt bad about that. Guilty. In the old days, I would have just said yes. But I wouldn’t have been a real participant. I was so busy hiding my hiding my true self from Nick that I wasn’t much of a wife to him. Now when I am out of it like I feel this week I don’t want to give him less than my best. I hate this blank feeling. I’m okay. I’m already feeling better, but I still feel blah, not interested in spanking, not interested in sex, not interested in even doing much reading and writing. Not interested and not interesting. Blah, blah, blah…

But at the same time I’m not feeling bad, not depressed, not mad, not sad… I’ll be perking up soon. I get three days off next week too. If Mollie can help me do some cleaning this weekend maybe I can spend some time writing Wednesday. Writing, when I really have time to into it to it, is one sure thing to make me feel better. Here’s hoping!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Is this real?

I have to admit I’m surprising myself. This whole weight thing has been a surprise this time around. I lost 2.2 pounds this past week. That’s a total of 10 pounds in 8 weeks. I’m a little bewildered, very happy, and a little worried. I don’t want to mess up.

So far so good, so let me tell you what I’ve been doing. You know I joined Weight Watchers on line, I haven’t read everything on the site by a long shot, but I do use it to keep track of what I eat. I follow the points I’m allowed each day. It works well for me because I can eat anything I like as long as I stay in my point range. Most fruits and vegetables are free, so apples and bananas can make a good snack. Not always exactly what I want, but it works. I think my biggest single help has been coffee. I was not a coffee drinker until this past Christmas. I began using a Keurig. I fix the coffee to suit myself – as my sister has often commented, referring to my coffee, “No coffee beans were harmed in the making of this cup.” Not quite true, but close. I use a caramel vanilla cream coffee, some raspberry and vanilla flavoring, along with a vanilla creamer. All this flavoring and creamer are sugar free. (But yeah, I know WAY too much vanilla in my life!) When I’m really hungry coffee seems like a treat, a little break. You can’t drink it fast when it’s hot, so I have to slow down and relax a bit. It seems to fill me up. When I get a soft drink, I’m used to having a snack with it. I don’t like to eat anything when I’m drinking something hot. Anyway it helps me.

Sorry that this was just a weight report. Nick offered me a reward but this just wasn’t the weekend for it. I’ve been kinda out of it. No problems, just not really feeling like myself. Nick’s a great guy. I hope he’ll let me take a rain check.

FYI – brand new Fantasy Friday this coming Friday.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Fantasy Friday, The New House - part 2,II

I think Love Our Lurkers Day was great yesterday. I really appreciate everyone who came by and left a comment. And I still want to welcome those who couldn't quite get up the nerve to leave a comment yet but still came by to read. No matter what, you are welcomed.

Another Friday! I've gotten through nearly a week without daylight savings time. I always hate when it goes away. For me I don't need light in the early morning - I'm just going to work. I like my daylight in the evening so I can do something with it, or at least not feel it's so late.

After our brand new Fantasy Friday last we we are returning to Catie's wonderful story about their new house. If you missed the first part you can find it here. For now enjoy part 2 of...

The New House
Part 2

Liam woke not knowing where he was for a second, and then last night came back to him. They had moved into their new house, and Jade had shown him the surprise room she had added to the plans under the house. He knew she was building one, since she asked if she could. She had asked to keep the details to herself, so it would be a surprise for him. He had let her have free rein, and was expecting a small room off their bedroom about the size of a closet. This basement room had surpassed any of his expectation. He was very pleased with what he had seen so far.

The room was warm, clean, uncluttered and new. She had special lights put in so it did not seem dark and dank. It was very inviting and pleasant. As he lay in bed, he looked up and noticed there were three large eye bolts attached to the ceiling. He chuckled to himself thinking she has tried to think of everything that I might want in a playroom.

After he had given Jade her first of many long strapping’s over the new spanking horse she had bought for him, he had pushed the horse back into the closet and unfolded the retractable bed. When the bed touched the floor, two of the legs locked into U bolts that were reseated into the floor. He notices now that the U bolts were directly below the eye bolts in the ceiling. He immediately felt himself become aroused when he thought of Jade standing spread eagle where the bed was now, with her arms tied to the ceiling and ankles attached to the U bolts in the floor. He would have free access to her whole body. He thought how he would proceed in this situation. First the little tiny flogger, he would use that on her breasts and nipples until they started to stand out for him. Clamps then came to mind. Next he would lightly flog her pussy, making her squirm. He would then use the Martinet whip. He would use this on her bottom with some vigor, and then lightly on her pussy and breasts. Then he thought of the crop, yes the crop. Lightly tapping her nipples and hooded area with the leather tip, and then flicking those areas with the tip. Clamps would have to be put on those hard nipples. These thoughts were making him want to wake Jade up and start playing again, but she had been through a long session last night and might need to wait at least until tonight before spanking her again.

He got up and went to look in the drawer beneath the built in cabinets with all the spanking toys. He found ropes and all the leather harnesses placed in order in them. He smiled again, yes; she had thought of everything that a playroom would need. He was very pleased with what she had created down here. It would be well worth having to use the stairs to get to the playroom.

He realized there was a door on the same wall as the TV. It had to lead to a bathroom; surely she would not have left that out of the plans. He walked across the room and opened the door. It revealed a large beautiful bathroom all in natural tones. There were two separate sinks, a very large tub, and a huge walk in shower. He noticed that on the shower wall were several sets of handles on the wall. Jade must be planning spanking and sex in there too.

He walked into the closet at the back of the bathroom. It was full all different kinds of outfits. School girl, nurse, maid, secretary, and any theme you could think of. Again his mind was going to all the possibilities that this playroom offered them.

As he was walking out of the closet, Jade was walking into the bathroom. She could see that he was pleased with the way the playroom had turned out, that made her feel great. She had worked hard getting it ready and so wanted him to love it. She walked over to him and kissed him good morning. He inspected her bottom hoping he would be able to use it again tonight, this time for pleasure not for punishment.

He asked if there was anything else he needed to see. She took him by the hand and lead him back to the bar end of the room. There was another cabinet on the other side of the bed. She looked as if she was embarrassed. He wondered what could be behind those doors. He reached out and opened it and just saw a large white board that looked like a large calendar. He gave her a questioning look as if to say why does this embarrass you? She told him that she was thinking that he might have her record any punishments she received during the month. If she received too many, he would then punish her for not being a good girl for that month. It would hold her accountable for her actions and be a reminder if she was having a good or bad month.

Liam told her he thought that would be a very good idea. She needed to see how often she needs correction. He hand her the marker and tells her to write down last night and be sure to include the reason for the punishment. He also told her he would like her to get a folder and write the details of the punishment and why she was receiving correction for his inspection. This way he would know if she understood fully why she was being spanked. He could tell by her expression that she was not expecting that. He smiled to himself and thought; good keep her on her toes.

Liam then announced that if she received five punishments in one month, he would have to punish her again on the last day of the month. He would use the small paddle and he would give her ten hard swats for those five infractions. If she had more than five, she would receive five more swats for each extra infraction. This made her shutter. She knew all too well how bad that small wood paddle hurt. She would have to make sure not to get five punishment spankings.

Then she had a horrible thought. She was due to receive a discipline spanking every Friday for the next five weeks. That means if she was naughty just once the rest of this month she would have already earned an extra punishment session at the end of the month. As if Liam could read her mind, he said, “Put down your scheduled spankings you have already earned. You better be a very good girl this month.”

Jade hugged him and said she always tries to be. He hugged her back and kisses her. He told her, “I am very pleased with our new playroom. We will be spending a lot of time down here.”


Maybe I shouldn't be asking for a new kitchen. Maybe I could get my way more if I was planning something like this! Thanks Catie for another story and yes there is even more. Come back for part three next week.

As always, if anyone else has a story they are willing to share please send it to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Thursday, November 10, 2011

If you don't talk to me I could get a complex

Happy Love our Lurkers day to all! I'm happy to say I've been here for all six. What can I quickly say that everyone else hasn’t already said? I see you out there looking a little panicked and overwhelmed. I mean there you are quietly tucked away in your home reading a few blog anonymously and suddenly,


Everyone is trying to drag you out of your comfort zone and trying to get you to start commenting. Come on now, don’t hide, yes, we’re talking to you!

I didn’t comment at first because I was really uncertain about this form of communication and I was worried about someone finding out who I was and ‘outting me’. If that is a fear, please – don’t worry. More than anywhere else in my life I know that here we are all in this together. You have an interest in spanking or you wouldn’t be here. If you’re like most of us it is a really big secret in your life. Here you can talk about that desire, ask question, compare experiences and you can be sure you’re talking to friends.

No one’s going back to read the beginning of a 5 year old blog so here’s a brief introduction. I’m in my mid-50’s. I’ve been married for 28 years to my wonderful Nick. I have two kids – LJ is 23 and lives in New York City (how that little southern country boy got there I’ll never know). LJ is gay and lives with his boyfriend, they have been together for more than 6 years and they are two of the finest men I know. Mollie is my daughter, 19, and a freshman in college studying to be a teacher (that’s as crazy as wanting to live in NY.) I say that because I am a teacher and I know. I also teach my Sunday school class once a month, we eat lunch at Nick’s parents with his brothers and sisters and family every Sunday. I’m a lousy housekeeper, worse cook and spend way too much time blogging. In other words - I’m NORMAL! Oh and there’s one more thing – I love to be spanked, both for fun and for discipline (although Nick rarely disciplines, guess I’m too prefect!)

Spanking fiction is another true love of mine. I love hosting Fantasy Friday. Each week I ask my readers to think about writing a piece of spanking fiction and sharing it with us. I won’t even ask that today – I’d be happy with just one little comment. I do like to talk to new people. Feel free to ask any questions you may have, and if you feel more comfortable emailing I would love to hear from you at elisspeaks@yahoo.com And of course there is the real writer in the family – my alter ego, Cassie. If you haven’t ever been to Cassie’s Space please go read a story or two and let her know what you think.

One last thing then I’ll promise to hush. If you leave me a comment I WILL answer it. What you have to say is important to me. I’m here for the back and forth and getting to know people. If you are taking the time to read what I’ve written and then taken the time to comment to me, I’ll answer you in the comments. That’s a promise. Dear Lurkers, and all my readers, I hope that this is a special day for you. We’re thinking of you.

Monday, November 07, 2011

Nick, you should have taken me up on it.

There is a strong submissive part of me hidden away. I’m the only one that really knows about it or how deep it runs. As a girl-child of the 60’s and 70’s – the true time of the women’s lib movement I knew enough, as I grew up, to hide that submissive side and hide it well. Women had to be independent and take care of themselves. No man was going to ever tell us what to do! Of course underneath all this I was a closet spanko with a deep desire to submit, to be dominated, to be controlled, to be protected, and to be loved. I knew this, but I saw it as a flaw in my character and a deep, dark, shameful secret to keep.

I became that independent woman society told me to become. I went to college, got a job, and supported myself well. I dated a little but never lost myself in a man. I eventually bought my own home, I didn’t need any man. Then I met Nick. We laugh now at my reaction to the first time he asked me out. He had called me at work, asked me out and I accepted. Then I put my head down on the desk and said “Why did I say yes? I don’t want to go out with anybody.”

Obviously I was very wrong. We were meant for each other and we married two years later. I certainly kept my independence. I even kept my own house (just in case, I thought) for a few years. We kept our money somewhat separate. We could both write checks on either account but we just paid our own bills. He never knew how much I spent, he never asked. We were both sensible with money so it’s never been a concern. I was pretty much in charge of the kids and I liked that. We lived together in perfect harmony.

Unfortunately, I never introduced Nick to the real me. My deep dark secret was safely contained behind many, many walls. Then for a variety of reasons after 23 years of marriage and at the ripe old age of 49 I came out and told him my secret. He loved the spanking part, he really loved the change from hating sex to loving it on my part, and he was thrilled at my brand new willingness to explore that sexuality. What he wasn’t too keen on was being dominate. He too was raised during the ‘totally equal’ time.

He told me early on he didn’t want to have to ‘parent me’ he wanted an equal partner. Sigh… okay, so the submissive part of me will remain in my fiction and not in my real life. I’ve accepted that and I’m not unhappy. Nick plays around with it sometimes to please me and I appreciate it but I will never be part of our real lives.

Now to the point of this post – ha, you didn’t think it had one did you? Nick and I are coming up on a hard time in our marriage. I’ve said many times Nick and I don’t fight and I’m completely serious when I say that. WE NEVER FIGHT and rarely disagree. But there is on accepting to that nearly totally true statement and here it comes – we are about, nearly, almost, sorta ready to remodel the kitchen. It’s not the mess and inconvenience that gets to us, it’s the decisions.

Making changes in the house is the only thing that seems to make Nick mean and hateful. We’ll start off on a simple conversation about it and suddenly he’s biting my head off, he’s yelling (he says he isn’t – but he IS), and he’s hurting my feelings. Suddenly I feel once again that it’s HIS house and I should just shut up. If I push too hard he just snaps something that sounds to me like “Forget the whole damn thing. We’ll leave it this way.” It’s the only thing I don’t know how to talk to him about. I think I know why he yells and gets mean. I think he panics. He thinks I’ll talk him into something that we don’t really need and will be too expensive and biting my head off is the only way he know to make me back off. But it makes me back way off and nurse my hurt feelings. It can have an effect on our happiness.

Here is our main difference. The kitchen hasn’t been touched in 20 years. We both agree it needs to be redone. I want a lot more redone and more changes than he wants. Although keeping cost down matters to both of us it is financial possible to do everything I want, but sure it’s gonna cost more. For example (and I’m making all this up by what has been said in the past, not anything we’ve looked at for this particular project) let’s say we’re looking at new sinks. I see one that is really pretty and will give the kitchen the ‘look’ I’m going for, maybe it’s $400, but Nick sees one beside it for $300 that ‘will do’. I don’t want what ‘will do’. This is the one and only time we are going to redo this kitchen. We’ll be living with it until we die or Mollie moves us to a home. I want it to be special. It’s a tiny galley kitchen; I’m never going to have a fine new house with a gourmet kitchen. I don’t want or need one – for pity sake I don’t even cook! Something that I’m sure will be brought up in out negations. But I still want it to be special.

Now to tie the two seemingly different part of this post together, if I had come out to Nick when we were first married and he had firmly taken the reins or if he had wanted the job of HOH when I came out to him 5 years ago his wouldn’t be a problem. All final decisions would go to him. (Sorry Nick, no take backs now! And yes, I do know it wouldn’t have been that simple.) So what do we, as equal partners, do when we just disagree? I do mean all this mostly tongue-in-cheek. I know we’ll survive this and come out with a beautiful kitchen sometime in the future. But I do wish we could discuss it without him getting mad. And yes honey, you DO get mad! I want to feel he’s listening to all my dreams for this project. I feel like if I mention something other than the obvious needed changes, he’s already decided the answer’s NO before I’ve even explained what I’d like to try.

Any suggestions for surviving a kitchen renovation? Have any of you done this within the past few years? Anything you really wish you had done differently? Anything you really wish you’d done but didn’t. You’ll all probably here more of the details of what I want in the future. When I’m too nervous to tell Nick something I usually tell you guys and hope he reads it. It’s not the best way, but at least he doesn’t bite my head off as he reads - usually.

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Always love the weekend

Mollie was home this weekend. It’s fun having her home. We did a little shoppin
g Friday night and Saturday night she headed off to a friend’s birthday party – which was the rea l r eason she came home in the first place. Nick and I didn’t mind, it gave us a little time to party ourselves. And we did put it to good use! Nick wanted to address a few house hold issues I’ve let slip a little. But on the other had he gave me a break because he could tell I had really been working on the ‘healthy living’ project. So the spanking was a definite good girl and the after part was wonderful!

I lost 1.8 pounds last week! That felt good. I’m gonna try to keep on doing what I’m doing. I’m still not thrilled about going to the gym however. Exercise isn’t my favorite past time. But I’ve been trying to get there a couple of times a week and then play on the Wii a couple of days. I guess it’s all working together though. So I’ll keep trying.

What I really need is a week or so to spend some time writing. When I don’t get time to write my fiction (I haven’t done a Fantasy Friday in months and months) I get grumpy and out of it. For me writing fiction is a major way to feed my spanko side. And that’s the side that keeps me happy! I think it’s a shame that working for a living interferes with good writing and blogging time!

Friday, November 04, 2011

Fantasy Friday, A Stranger's Gift

Finally Friday – I’ve wanted to say that all week! So glad it finally here. As promised I have a brand new Fantasy Friday story today. I always ask the writer what I can share about them and I didn’t hear back so I won’t be sharing anything here. Maybe there will be other stories in the future and I’ll be able to introduce everyone. I do know we have a very good writer. One apology – I do not seem to be able to post any pictures. I really don’t know if its blogger or our lousy home internet connection. It works occasionally but not right now. Thank goodness to story is good enough to stand alone.

Please enjoy…

A Stranger's Gift

Her friend lead her into the room, it was like the rest of the house, old, but warm and friendly. They closed the door behind them; her friend left her to stand in one of the corners, to observe. She walked across the room, past the large bed and stopped in front of one of the windows. She gazed out at the view, the formal gardens below her would normally be teeming with visitors at this time of year but the weather had kept them away and only a few hardy souls ventured out.

She continued to stare out of the window as she heard the door open and then close behind her. The sound of soft footsteps made her glance around behind her and she caught a glimpse of a woman, younger than her and slightly built. She wasn’t sure what she expected but this person did not fit her imagination. So, she thought to herself, this is really going to happen, she felt a tingle of nerves down her spine as she continued to stare out of the window at the black threatening clouds that hung over the landscape.

The young women gently held her arm and encouraged her to bend forward and place both hands onto the window seat in front of her. She looked sideways and caught a glimpse of a short piece of leather, so am I really going to do this, she thought as she looked out of the window again, noticing for the first time how the old glass distorted the view slightly. Her legs trembled and she started to adjust her position but a firm hand on the small of her back stopped her from moving. She became acutely aware for the first time of her naked breasts under her thin summer dress, her nipples erect, gently rubbed against the fabric as she breathed.

She felt the short piece of leather positioned against the centre of her bottom for a second and then felt a warm sting as the strap made contact, she let out a short gasp, not from pain but more surprise, it did not feel how she had expected. Another stroke made contact, quickly followed by another. She felt heat spreading across her bottom and found she was struggling to catch her breath at each impact. She caught site of some visitors in the garden running for cover as the heavens finally opened. The strong gusting wind lifted the rain and hurled it at the window in front of her.

It crossed her mind that here were two different worlds, side by side, what would those people wonder at the activities in the room above them? As quickly as it had started, it stopped, and the young women with one hand on her shoulder gestured for her to stand up. She felt herself trembling, not from fear this time but excitement. The young women smiled knowingly and taking her by the hand led her to the edge of the bed. She then piled the pillows up in the centre of the bed and spoke for the first time.

“Bend over these pillows, you are to be punished.”

These words sent a shiver through her; she immediately obeyed and placed herself over the pillows. She felt vulnerable with her bottom in this raised position, she felt her dress being pulled up, and the cool air on the lower cheeks of her buttocks not covered by her knickers. The young women knelt on the bed and as she leaned over to pick up a hairbrush from the bedside cupboard whispered briefly into her ear,

“Just relax, I will take care of everything for you, I will keep you safe.”

She felt the hairbrush gently strike each cheek of her bottom in turn, making the heat quickly return. She wondered about her choice of underwear, white knickers, innocent, had she chosen white to protest her innocence, or to contrast with the redness of her bottom cheeks on show? So maybe not so innocent! Maybe subconsciously she was a naughty girl, why girl? She wondered, she was a grown woman! The hairbrush landed again forcing a gasp and then a sob from her lips. She wanted to be punished, she deserved to be punished, all those deeds at school that had passed unchallenged, and even more since then. She was not a bad person, just normal really, well, maybe unusual, special, she smiled to herself at this thought. Certainly she dreamt of being spanked all her life.

The spanking paused and she felt her knickers being slowly pulled down. She was conscious of her bare bottom being fully on display, the redness for all to see. The spanking started again, very slowly and progressively getting harder, the brush was now being applied all over her bottom so every inch was on fire. She was breathing heavy again and grimacing as each slap made its
impact felt, but strangely, she was also smiling at the same time. Another splat landed, this time across both cheeks of her bottom, just above the tops of her thighs, she took a sharp intake of breath as the heat spread still further across her bottom.

She drifted into her thoughts again, yes she was naughty and wanted, needed this spanking, it was long overdue, even if her friend did have to arrange it for her! Another slap, this time across the middle of her bottom, she buried her head into the bedclothes, her tangled hair wet with tears as the next blow landed. She was making involuntary gasps and yelps and just as she felt she could take no more the young women held her hand, she felt her face close to her ear, her hair touching the side of her face, she whispered gently into her ear.

“just surrender, I will keep you safe and transport you to somewhere else, I can take you anywhere your heart desires.”

She felt herself slowly giving into the young women and whilst the maelstrom in the wildness outside the house raged on, all was safe in the house, all was calm and controlled. The hairbrush descended again, rhythmically slapping down on every inch of her bottom and she felt herself floating, tears were now pouring down her face and the young women paused briefly to gently wipe them away. The rain once again threw itself at the ancient glass windows; she felt the
dampness in between her legs increase as she surrendered to the feelings of delicious excitement, her bottom dancing as the last hard slaps of the brush made contact once again with the lower part of her bottom. She had never felt so helpless and yet so in control at the same time, whilst her bottom glowed with erotic heat. She felt the young women’s hand stroking her bottom, her hand cool against the heat of her skin.

“Thank you” she whispered through her buried face, her hair wet from tears of gratitude. She experienced total release as this complete stranger who had unlocked the deepest part of her soul gently brought her back to this world and cradled her in her arms as she wiped the tears away with gentle compassion. She caught site for the first time of her friend who was crouching on the floor hugging her knees to her chest. She had clearly been moved by what she had witnessed, she smiled at her friend and then found herself laughing, never before had she felt so connected to her true nature and such joy, her friend joined her on the bed and hugged her. The young women with great knowing slowly got up from the bed and quietly left the room.


I told you this was a good story. I found it gentle and powerful at the same time. I hope we hear from this writer again.Thank you for letting me post your work. If anyone else has a story to share please send it to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Help me with this one folks

Now to talk about weigh loss - I’m doing fine. I lost another 1.2 pounds last week. Nick was very happy with me but it all gives me a strange feeling. I can’t quite put my finger on it but the whole thing makes me uncomfortable. I almost cringe when someone congratulates me in person. I don’t want Nick to ignore it, but I would just as soon him tell me he’s pleased by email. And that’s all I am, pleased (said with a small smile and a let’s please move on.) I appreciate everyone out here that is encouraging me. That kind of support is welcomed but it just makes me nervous coming from those I see every day. I guess I’ve fought this fight so many times – and lost – that I’m almost afraid of success. Being overweight is one thing, starting to lose and then backsliding is another.

Once when I had lost around 20 pounds – enough for everyone to notice, I had several people at church, and family too, tell me how good I looked. They told me they were proud of me and that they knew it took hard work. It was like my mind said “Okay, you’re finished. You can stop now.” And that’s what I did. And I put every pound back on. I don’t know why. I really don’t. But it has gotten me to a point where I’m almost paranoid when people tell me I’m doing well. You see, in my mind, I know what they will think if I start to gain back,

I knew she couldn’t do it the stupid loser. It was all just a wasted effort. Oh yeah, I believed all that big talk ‘gonna lose weight, gonna really do it this time’ who did the idiot think she was fooling?

Yes, yes I know very poor attitude on my part, but this blog is where I spill my guts and for better or worse, those are the thoughts in my head. If anyone has ever had this problem or has a way to overcome this I’d be happy to hear it.

Where we stand right now: I joined Weight Watcher 5 weeks ago and in those 5 weeks I’ve lost 6.2 pounds. I should be very happy. But since I don’t know why I’m suddenly deciding to do something about my weight and I’m sticking with the program then I don’t know what might trigger me to give up and stop trying. I guess it comes down to this, it’s easier for me to live with being fat that to disappoint myself and others again by trying and failing. Geeze, where’s Jillian Michaels when you need her?