I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Friday, August 31, 2007

Just stuff

It is official. My husband has left me for bunch of middle-age men with golf clubs. For the past 10 years he has gone off twice a year with the guys. It used to be something I really looked forward to. As soon as I knew the date I would make plans to farm out the kids and have the house all to myself for the whole weekend. A wonderful thing for the mother of two who spends her days with a room full of 11 year-olds! It’s still a nice weekend but I miss Nick a lot more than I used to.

This will be a rambling post, no real point, so be warned. Nick emailed me yesterday and told me he was expecting my assignment this week. I really hadn’t been planning to write one. So I wrote him and I was pretty honest. Nothing really new or earth shattering, but I did tell him what I had said in my other post that I was feeling lonely. I got a real sweet email back from him and I do feel better. I will keep talking to Nick; I have too many friends out here that get on my case when stop. And I am grateful folks. I know me pretty well and without being pushed I know I just shut up and shut down. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

My baby is in high school! Mollie seems to be adjusting pretty well. I fact she has been in a better mood than usual lately. LJ is settling in at school. We got him another car, he doesn’t know yet. Nothing fancy or sporty but hopefully it will be dependable and safe. Of course LJ wouldn’t know one type of car from another. He just never cared. Mollie can tell you what each car that goes by is and let you know in great detail what kind she wants. Very different children!

My school year has gotten off to a good start. Much better than last year! By this time last year I have even had a death threat. Now out of my 75 students I am only having a problem with one! And he is only having a problem with me, not the 2 male teachers. He doesn’t like doing what women tell him to. There is no mom in the house. He wants to talk back and argue. But I feel sorry for him. Maybe I can show him that some women can be calm, consistent. I am trying to be kind and I have told him I will always treat him with respect but I will expect to be treated with respect also! Now if I can keep my cool!! Having a kid flare up in my face tends to piss me off. But he needs me so I am really going to try with him.

Okay I have rambled long enough. I hope everyone has a great Labor Day weekend. If you don’t have anything to do this weekend you could always write a Fantasy Friday story!! I have a few folks and they are HOT! But if we are going to be able to start this up again I am going to need more!! Anyone – everyone please give it a try and email me a story. I am hoping to get it started by October, so please let me hear from you! I am talking to YOU, fellow bloggers, friends without blogs, and you silent readers who may not even comment. Come on you know you have a story to share!! Real or fiction, trust me we don’t care! Send it to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Monday, August 27, 2007

Erotic Personality Quiz

My Erotic Personality is The Escapist. Take the Erotic Personality Quiz on SageVivant.com and discover yours!I took Sage Vivant's Erotic Personality Quiz and discovered I'm an Escapist!

What is your Erotic Personality? Find out now.

Reality is The Escapist’s least favorite place. Sex in another era or galaxy with other people would be ideal for this erotic personality—or so they believe. They also like to revise their own history and think about how great a certain sexual encounter or partner would have been if only this or that had happened. An Escapist’s fantasy life is active and rich, but it is characterized by fantasies that they’ve nurtured and cultivated to perfection. This is the mother of all erotic types and almost everyone has a bit of The Escapist in them. What makes this type a person’s dominant erotic personality, however, is how necessary the fantasies are for erotic fulfillment.

I know this is all in fun but this really hit home to me. I remember being about 4 or 5 and wandering off into my mind in an early form of mind blogging. Now honest to goodness I had a great childhood, I wasn’t trying to escape anything. But I often just preferred the reality I made for myself. All this is well and good except that it is hard for reality to live up to the perfection I can create in my mind. It can be a form of a drug. There have been times in the past that I have had to struggle to stay ‘here’. It is much better now. I think blogging give me my ‘fix’ while you folks all help keep me in the here and now.

New year, old me

Am alive and well and teaching school. Today was the first day with the kid. All went well but I am more tired than I care to admit. I am teamed this year with two men. One I have teamed with for about 5 years and the other is new to our school. I don’t mind being teamed with 2 guys and I am sure there will be advantages but they are being too accommodating!! As I told Eva I want to snap at them “I am a spanko for heaven sake!! I want someone to tell me what to do! Make me! I shouldn’t have to make so many decisions!” Plus this new guy has two paddles in his room. I have thought of asking him if his wife prefers wood or leather!

Now if I may rant for a minute. Starting nearly a month ago my life got busy, hosting a family reunion, taking teenagers to the beach, visiting with Eva and Adam, getting LJ back to school and getting Mollie ready for high school and getting my room and myself ready for the kids. Now I loved the reunion and the visit with Eva and Adam was fantastic!! I really didn’t mind any of the rest but I am stressed, I have had bouts of sadness, I sometimes feel teary. Anyone out there have any idea what might help me feel better? Okay EVERYONE out there have an idea of what might help me? Everyone but Nick!

Nick is the sweetest man in the world. Really he is, but just as sure as I was born a spanko the man was born vanilla! At times like this when I am busy and tired he seems to ‘not want to bother me'. When I need spanking the most it seems nowhere to be seen!

Adam had given Nick and me a love lovely wooded spatula when I was up there. Mollie has taken to it, using it to flip a golf ball and catch it. She keeps trying to get her dad to do it. He often tosses the ball and catches it but last night Mollie kept saying “Use the spatula Daddy, use the spatula!” I finally looked over and said “Yes, Nick, would you just use the durn spatula!!” Is he getting the message? Who know? I am not ever sure he is reading the blog anymore. I hope this is just a natural dry spell that we all experience because I feel that Nick and I are drifting a little. There is no problem - we just need to talk more, hopefully spank more. I am feeling a little disconnected and lonely.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Here goes...

I am still around folks but before Monday I have to: work today getting my class ready, take Mollie clothes shopping, shop for LJ a new car, shop with LJ for apartment furniture, get ready to teach my Sunday School class Sunday morning, drive the boy back to college Sunday afternoon (5 hour round trip) and get some lesson plans for Monday when the kids actually come back. Of course Nick will be helping with most of this stuff but I am still tired just thinking about it. Starting school on a Monday may seem logical to some of you but it is hell on teachers! So if I am quiet next week it will be from exhaustion not lack of interest!! Don’t worry I will quickly get into the swing of thing and I am sure I will be reading each evening – that’s how I relax each day!!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Willing to try again?

School is starting soon. There I said it. Our kids go back next Monday. Sigh… I really do like teaching but I am not ready to give up the lazy days of summer. And those of you who know me know that I am not kidding about the lazy part.

So in order to cheer myself up, and maybe some of you, I have decided to try to bring back a well loved feature out here in blogland. With Tiggr’s blessing I am going to try bringing back Fantasy Friday! Tig offered this feature to me when she stopped and I originally said no, but now I think I want to. I loved this idea of Tig’s for many reasons. First it was nice to look forward to a new story every Friday morning. Let’s face it folks there is not a ton of real life spanking going on out here. I have every confidence that this will improve. But I still think we would all be cheered by a few good stories!

Second I thought it was fun trying to guess who had written the story. I was usually dead wrong but I always though it was fun! I am looking for two groups of people to help me out here. First are the wonderful people who either have blogs of their own or comment and write stores regularly. My ultimate wish would, of course, would be that Paul might write for us! When any of these folks send stories we will have a contest just as Tig did.

Third I am hoping to reach some new writers. Now this is where Fantasy Friday Revisited is going to be bit different. I want everyone to participate! Yes I am talking to you! Any silent reader who has no intentions of starting a blog. Maybe you have never even left a comment. You are just out here looking to read some spanking experiences. I want you to join in. What is YOUR fantasy? Want scenario plays around in your mind? Come on, you know you have a spanking story in you. Write it down and send it to me. I will publish it with as much or as little information about you as you are comfortable with. You can remain completely anonymous while reading all the comments other will leave you! And trust me this is an encouraging bunch out here. When I publish one from these folks it won’t be in contest form obviously but just as a guest post. Come on folks, think about it. Still worried about remaining anonymous? Go to yahoo or somewhere and get an alternate email address to use. Most of us did. Other than that I can only give you my word that no one will know who you are.

If you are willing to help start writing and send your stories to


Only thing I want to remind you of is that all participants in the story must be consenting adults. Well I know the spankee may not be consenting at that very moment but… you get the idea!

I am trying to put up a survey that works. I don't think this one does so as far as voting we will have to wait until Eva has time to work on it. But leave a comment letting me know what you think.

Hi Everyone. Eva here. PK asked me to break in and fix her poll. I let out a major sigh at that because I know from experience what a booger it can be to work with sparklit. At first not only could I not get it to go to her second question, I lost her side bar in the process. Just when I was about to give up and email CeeCi, I got it back. As for the poll though, I finally had to settle for two individual polls so after you answer the first one, COME BACK HERE and scroll down for the second question. Sorry it's so inconvenient but some things just don't always work well.


Fantasy Friday Revisited 1

Do you want to try Fantasy Friday again?

Yes it was fun. Let's try again.
No, we don't need to start again.

Don't forget to return to answer this question!!! Sparklit was not cooperative I had to create 2 individual polls for PK. If anyone knows a solution other than kicking sparklit in the arse, let me know.

Fantasy Friday Revisited 2

Will you write a story for us?

Sure. I can't wait.
I will if I can find the time.
I'm not sure I can but I'll try one.
I'll read but I can't write.

Monday, August 20, 2007

What a visit!

Eva and Adam you don’t need to read this, you know what all went on during the visit this is mostly to let Nick know how I spent my time away. Being the domestic goddess I am I spent most of my time cooking and cleaning, nursing Eva and doing other odd jobs they needed done around the house. I washed and waxed the cars, changed the oil, painted the outside of the house, shampooed all the carpets and cleaned the chimney. But I don’t mean to say I did more than Adam. After all he was in charge of writing down every time Eva rolled her eyes or gave us a dirty look. And let me tell you that kept him hopping!

Okay no not really! The visit was wonderful! I did what I could but Eva was pretty much able to take care of herself and Adam handled everything else. Had I eaten every time they offered me something I would have gained all the weight that Eva has lost so far. Folks from their church are bringing meals for Adam and Saturday night daughter #2 made some fantastic spaghetti. After supper we sat on the deck around the fire and I just loved it. There was Eva, Adam and I, their daughter and son-in-law, their friend (a bit crazy but very nice) and a friend of Eva’s and her daughter. What an interesting conversation! Mostly I just sat back and listened. What fun!!

There are so many highlights from the trip. I did like sitting around the fire with everyone, but I really enjoyed just sitting and visiting with Eva and Adam. I enjoyed walking the pup. I liked riding around and seeing where everything is. Seeing the town, her school and some of their friends really helps out an old detail whore like me. And I really enjoyed listening to Adam sing in church – he’s good!

These guys even gave me a gift a beautiful basket of different jams and jellies and candles and other neat stuff! Of course the wooden spatula tied up with this pretty basket was really above and beyond what was necessary but when Adam told me he had gotten a twin one for Eva I guess it was alright!

The trip was wonderful! I am so glad I came!! And I would do it again in a heartbeat!

Friday, August 17, 2007


Folks, I have to tell you this is fun! I love being here with Eva and Adam! You would barely know that Eva has had surgery. She is doing so great! It is very much like visiting a real sister; I don’t feel like a guest. I go into the cabinets or frige just like I owned the place. And I am not the one making her laugh. Adam and I are just talking to her; it’s not our fault if she thinks things are funny. She is just as guilty as we are!

Supper plans were changed. While Adam and I ate our chicken, coleslaw and bread we gave her a Flintstone’s vitamin! And after that she whined so much about the broth we forced down her throat at lunch we gave in and let her have sugar free chocolate pudding with her calcium mixed in. It seems strange to have someone look at 3 oz of pudding in a bowl as if it were a gigantic feast that could not possibly be consume in one setting!

I have been getting to meet many of the people I have been hearing about. Eva’s daughter, son-in-law and their friend were here tonight. They are wonderful they were so funny we should have sent Eva from the room! I also got to see some of the town. I have seen their neighborhood (we took the pup on a pretty good walk) and I have seen their bank, their church and their Wal-Mart! It didn’t seem like a good idea to have Eva walking all over Wally World so she got to drive one of the little scooters. Adam and I stayed behind her for fear of being run down and it made it easier to make fun of her driving from a safe distance!

One other thing I have noticed is the power of suggestion. Eva evidently told everyone that I have an accent! Because everyone I met seems to mention it. Eva has obviously swayed them because I think Theresa, Tiggr, Reesa, Suzy and Cassie have all agreed that that is simply not true.

Now let me tell you about the pup. He is a doll! He is so sweet and cuddly. He does love his mommy! I was more worried about him liking me that their daughter. If the pup had said ‘no’ I think I would be sleeping in the car! Well not really but they do like him and it is easy to see why!

It has been a good day. Eve is feeling well enough to flash me and really when you feel that good how much better could it get?

Thursday, August 16, 2007

I'm Off

I should be on my way to Eva's by the time most of you read this. I talked to her tonight and now I realize that this trip is going to be a bit harder than I thought. I love Eva, I think you guys know this and the last thing I want to do is cause her pain. Trouble is, it hurts her to laugh. What?? That was all we did when she was here. How can I be with Eva without making her laugh?? Okay, okay I will work on it, but it is going to be tough!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007


Nice quiet day here. I got to visit with Eva by Internet a little on and off and she seems to be doing fine still. We just talked on the phone a little while ago and I am very impressed! She has been up and walking several times and has gone farther and farther each time. She said getting up and down is a little on the painful side but she is holding up beautifully!

There was one very nice part of the day here that came unexpectedly. As I told Eva in lieu of flowers a crop was used in her honor today! Nick said if I was going off and leaving him to see Eva it was only fair!

Tomorrow I will be taking LJ to do a little shopping before he heads back to college this weekend. Theresa is right; it does make you feel better to spend money on them. Not that I have told LJ that. After all we will probably be getting him another car before long. Sigh… Grace, I hate to tell you money wise it’s not going to get any better after this year.

Monday, August 13, 2007

I think I'm ready, hope Eva is...

August 14 (Tuesday)
Okay a general update and I will put up a new post later. All went well during the night. Eva emailed me about 1:00 AM (no I wasn’t up). This morning she walked to the nurse’s station which was at the other end of the hall. Adam says he is so impressed with her attitude and strength, me too. He left a sweet comment this morning and was on his way back to the hospital. Talk to you guys later.

Best update yet! 7:15 PM

Adam called around 5:00 to tell me Eva was doing really well, talking with them, teasing a bit. He said they plan to have her up walking sometime between 8:00 and 9:00. He caught me while I was at the gym. When I was leaving the gym my phone rang again and it was Eva herself! She sounded great! A little groggy still but he was definitely her old self! She has her little pain button to push that she really likes.

Just a little while ago I got an email from Eva, remember wireless connection in her room! She said to thank everyone for their emails and good wishes and to keep them coming. She said she would answer everyone as soon as she didn’t have an IV needle in each hand!

Update 2:00 PM:

Just heard from Adam again, Eva is back in her room and although she is still groggy she has talked with him and the girls a little. She has had her one ounce of ice chips and can have another ounce of chips abut an hour later. He said there some pain but it seem manageable. He says he is letting her sleep now and that this evening he will call after they get her up to walk.

Update 11:00:
I just talked to Adam! The surgery is over and the doctor said she did great! She is in recovery now and will be in her room sometime after noon. Adam and the girls are just waiting to see her now and Adam mostly seems to dread seeing her in pain. Hopefully that won’t be the case and the drugs will take care of all that. He said the plan is to have her up and walking this evening!

I asked him to call again this afternoon and he laughed and said he already had his orders from Eva to call often and he wasn’t about to get in trouble with her!

More later…

Update: I got a text message at 5:15 that they were leaving the house. And then I got a call from Adam about 7:15 letting me know that they had taken her back for the surgery. He also gave me the room number and phone number and told me that she has internet in the room. He said she liked that!! So she may even be on in a day or so! More later.

I told my boss that I would miss the first few teacher work days. His response, “I hope you are planning on doing something fun and not something you have to do.” I have a pretty good boss. Is it going to be fun? I guess Eva can’t call surgery fun, but in truth, I just can’t wait to get up there to see them again! I expect to wait on her, bring her wonderful protein shakes, fluff her pillow, hand her her laptop, walk with her, hold her hand, talk to her, and watch her sleep – anything she wants. So yes I get to do something fun for me that I am doing just because I want to!

I also get to meet one of her daughters and maybe some of the friends that I have been hearing about this past year. I just hope I can understand Yankee enough to get by!

As Theresa and Suzy said – what a difference a year makes. Last year at this time I felt much like Theresa does now. My first born, my only son was leaving me to begin his college career. I was losing the person I was closest to in the house but also like Theresa I was looking forward to the new relationship I was forming with the wonderful man in my life. Now a year has gone by. LJ will actually be headed back to college while I am at Eva’s. He knows the way and thank heavens he knows the way home too. Because of email and cell phones I will get to talk to him as much as I do when he is supposedly ‘at home’.

Deep breath – surgery is in the morning and I have been assured that Adam will keep me well informed about all that is going on and I will post updates as I get news. I, of course, am mostly worried for Adam and me. After all Eva gets to sleep through the whole thing! Adam and her girls and I get to do the pacing!

Break –

I just got to talk to Eva! I am glad she called, it always calm me down. Gee I hope it does the same for her. I will give you all a report tomorrow.

Friday, August 10, 2007


I am so happy to be home! I have been with extended family since last Friday. I LOVE my extended family – but enough is enough! I want to crawl in to my own bed and have Nick curl around my back. I am tired of wearing a nightgown!! I want to sleep in the nude again. That was something I didn’t think Mollie would appreciate!

The hotel SAID it would have wireless internet in the rooms and it did – for about 10 minutes every 3 to 4 hours or so, maybe! Enough to keep me extremely frustrated!! I don’t like to be so out of contact with everyone. One of the most annoying things was when it would let me get far enough to see that I had email, even sometimes from who but then wouldn’t let me open it!

But the hardest part of the week was Thursday. First LJ is fine. But he was headed to his house in his college town with another load of stuff and wrecked his car. This was the picture he sent to my cell phone –

No one was hurt!! As a mother that is as far as my thinking goes, Nick has to also be concerned with insurance, can it be repaired, if not how can we replace it, should we replace it and all that other stuff. Having him two hours from home and about six hours from me was very traumatic for me. Thank God for cell phones and also for by sister that works at his college. She was there to be the surrogate mom. Fair trade I guess, her daughter was at the beach with me. This parenthood thing is very, very stressful. Should anyone doubt me take another look and Grace’s site!

Okay so I am home long enough to wash my clothes and pack again. I hope to be at Eva’s by the end of next week. More about that soon!

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Hang in there folks!

I am at the beach and I am missing all of you, mostly Nick of course but all of you too. We have a lot going on in blogland, I mean with all of us. I know many are being attacked by real life. And it certainly cuts into our time out here to write. And it is okay because we all understand and we are all pulling for each other. I hope everyone understands this and realizes that yes we are all out here for each other even when we don’t have the time to blog, comment or email every day. I am not kidding when I said I missed everyone. I like to talk and I like to know what is going on in your lives. And remember it is not just because I am a detail whore, it’s because I love you guys! Everyone, be in touch when you can!

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Trying to relax!

Quick post! The reunion was wonderful. My family is great. We had 28 folks here including LJ’s friend Collin. All the younger folks, who don’t know each other as well as we adults do, seemed to really bond. They were playing interesting games and talking and swimming all weekend. They ranged in age from 14 – 26 and it was a cool group to watch.

I cooked! And it was good! Chicken pot pie, ham, green beans, corn, fruit salad, rolls, ambrosia (now that took all of 3 minutes to make and was gone on the first wave), banana pudding and death by chocolate! And that was only what I made on Sunday my cousin cooked Saturday and it was even better. London broil, delicious mashed potatoes, asparagus (yuck), cantaloupe, bread, brownies, white chocolate cake. Can you say eat-fest! Don’t ask about the diet after all I am a work in progress!

In the morning I am headed to the lake for more time with the cousins and I must really like my cousins because there is no internet there! But that is only for one night. Then I am taking Mollie and my niece on to the beach until Friday. I should be able to be on line at the beach. So email me already!! I am going to be missing Nick and I will be spending all this time with 2 teenage girls!! Help!

I also don’t like not being on line back and forth with Eva for long periods of time. I just know I am more relaxed when we are in touch especially this week. I probably should have gone on to her house where I could hover in person. I would probably be more relaxed, of course I would probably be driving her and Adam crazy. So I will try to relax and I hope Eva will be doing the same.

Be in touch folks and I will be too!

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Nice day

I have had a busy 24 hours! Last night around 9:00 I had a phone call from a blogger friend. We had never actually gotten to talk before. I will let you all figure out who the mysterious caller was. (She may tell or keep it a secret. I don’t mind if you know but I forgot to ask if she did.) It was just great! We talked about everything; we talked about all our blogger friends, we talked about boys, we talked about spanking, and we talked about family. I felt like I have received a wonderful gift.

Mollie on the other hand was not so sure. I had gone back to the bedroom to have some privacy. We talked nearly an hour and a half and Mollie had stuck her head in several times seeming to become more and more annoyed with me each time. She can usually care less if I am on the phone so I wasn’t sure what her problem was.

It didn’t take me long to find our when I got off. Her first question

“Who was that?”

I told her it was one of my computer friends. Next question,

“Was it Eva?”

I told her no and gave her a name. She sat with a total look of disapproval on her face and finally said,

“Well does Eva know? Are you going to tell her? I am not sure you should be talking to other people out there!”

Heaven help me if I ever wanted to cheat on Nick! Mollie has her own brand of loyalty! I did explain that as we get older we get to have lots and lots of friends and that there wasn’t one of my friends out here I wouldn’t love to talk to.

That wonderful evening became an even more wonderful morning. Mollie went off to driving school and LJ packed his car and headed off to sign the lease for the house he will be living in at school this year. What was this?? An empty houses? Hmmmm… would we even remember what to do. Yes! As a matter of fact we did remember, at least Nick did! He asked me to put away my laundry and when I took it to the bedroom the toy box was on the bed!

After I put the laundry away he handed me the blindfold – that always means a good time will follow. And it did! He went through nearly every toy in the box! He took breaks which were fun and allow my brain to fly to wonderful places.

One scary point came when he asked me if I should have snacked so much during my Harry Potter weekend. Well no but… he gave me a break from weighing this week but during all this wonderful spanking he lead me, still blindfolded to the bath room and had me get on the scale. I knew it wasn’t good but he didn’t tell me he just said “Hmmm… I think we will have to discuss this later.” We discussed it alright and without too many words being used!

The rest of the morning went just as nicely as you might expect! We really have to get the kids out of the house more often! Very, very nice day!

Now the one fly in the ointment was a call from LJ on his way back this evening. His car died on the interstate and he called from the side of the road. We are not sure how much this is going to cost but I still feel very lucky. One I had just signed him up for AAA last week and two, he was only about 30 miles from home on his 220 mile round trip.

All and all a very nice 24 hours!