I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, April 24, 2023

I like my numbers

I spent a while worrying and complaining here about my various doctor visit and annoying health questions, I figured I’d give an update. Let’s just say, I can’t complain.


For me my blood pressure was worrying me the most. It had way of going really high despite the doctor increasing my meds. We’re talking 190/108. Doc thought maybe a diuretic could help and put me on a very low dose. And that’s when the BP dropped to 80/59 in one day. I think, because of the sudden drop I felt really crappy for about a week. She was amazed that the tiny dose she had me on made that much difference.


The next thing that happened was that something on my blood test made her worry about my kidneys. She cut my diuretic dose in half and ordered a PVL renal artery duplex with veins – whatever the hell that was. Turns out it was just an ultrasound of the kidneys. 

BTW ultrasounds without a baby in them are dull. The results show that my kidneys are is great shape and that there is no problem with them.


Next, we worried about blood sugar. I was on a high dose of diabetic medicine, four a day and she hoped to reduce this with Ozempic. I’ve been taking it for about six months now and both the doc and I are pleased with the results. I was able to cut those four pills down to one per day, and this past week I haven’t taken any. Go me! My BS is where it’s supposed to be, and I’ve lost 24.6 pounds as of Sunday morning! I’m thrilled.

As for the CPAP machine. We are still not friends. And I still usually cuss at it most nights, but I have learned to tolerate it. At least until about five AM when I rip it off and get what I think of as some good sleep for the rest of the night. I go to the sleep doc this coming Friday and I have tons of questions – I still want to know exactly why I’m using it and how it’s supposed to be helping. I haven’t seen any of the result it promised about have more energy. But at least I no longer have the urge to chuck it out the window.

This does occasionally happen.

I know all health news is fleeting but for the moment my blood pressure is good, my blood sugar is where it belongs, I’ve been able to cut out some medicines and I’ve lost nearly twenty-five pounds. Mollie tells me she's counting on me being around another thirty or forty years. Being in my mid-sixties this seems a bit optimistic, but honestly I'd do about anything for my kids so who know. Anyway, I'm celebrating!


Monday, April 17, 2023

My boys and the importance of plays

I finally got confirmation that my boys are coming to visit later this month. Well, they aren’t coming to visit me specifically, but they are coming.  The real reason is a retirement party for a special teacher that both of them remember fondly. This was their theater teacher. There is a surprise party for her after the final performance of her final play. She has no idea that they’re coming and I think she will be very happy to see them.

Plays are a true connection for LJ and Collin. LJ remembers seeing Collin for the first time when Collin was the star of his senior play. LJ was there on a field trip with his third-grade class. This teacher they are coming to see was doing her student teaching that year. About eight years later Collin was again the lead in a local play and LJ was a town’s person in the same play. Eight years after that, at their wedding, Collin said, “I remember walking out on an outdoor stage in a small town in the south and a boy smiled at me and changed my life.” It was this teacher that encouraged LJ to try out for that play. She brings many, many good memories for my boys. And I can’t wait to see them!

Thursday, April 13, 2023

Interesting trip

Mollie and I had a good trip – but it had a spooky element to it. We saw my cousins, Bea and Ann. Ann, the younger of the two is in a nursing home and didn’t really know me although she recognized the picture of my mother and called her by name. But she never really got my connection. Anyway, she was pleased to have visitors and we talked for a while.

Then she was off on a ‘fieldtrip’ where they took them out in the little bus to see all the flowers and blooming trees. She might not have known me, but she seemed happy. Bea was in a small apartment, mostly bedridden. Her daughter is living there and taking care of her.  She is still very sharp and she and Mollie enjoyed teacher talking.


When I was a kid we would come for a week each summer and stay at Ann’s house out in the country. She had three sons, Mom brought my sister and I and we each could bring a friend. Throw in the boy next door and we had eight teenagers riding horses, going canoeing, and taking the big boat out water skiing. We all had so much fun.


About ten years ago Ann’s sons decided she was too far out in the boonies by herself and they moved her to a wonderful house in town on the river that one of them owns. It’s a beautiful house and I wanted a picture so Mollie speaks into her phone and put in the address – 123 River Road. The map comes up and off we go. We haven’t gone too far when we both feel like we’re going in the wrong direction. I thought we were already close, but the map was taking us to the highway. I checked her phone and the address was correct so we figured, what the heck, we’d trust it. But after about ten minutes we knew it was wrong. We weren’t going toward the river.


We made the next turn and we were talking about turning around when suddenly the road seemed familiar. The phone map turned us into the parking lot of an abandoned grocery. And suddenly I knew where we were! I directed Mollie to a small dirt road going off behind the old grocery store and there, at the end of that lane was Ann’s old house. The one I’d visited so often as a child.


How in the hell had we gotten there? I didn’t know the address of that house. It wasn’t in my phone and certainly wasn’t in Mollie’s. We both looked at her phone again, the address it showed was nowhere close to the house address. A spooky chill hit us. We turned around and went back to the grocery store parking lot. And after staring at one another for a moment, Mollie once again spoke the address 123 River Road into her phone and it took us straight back to town and to the house Ann had moved to ten years ago.


This is one of the strangest things that has ever happened to me. I wanted to see the house again, but I honestly had no idea how to get to it. I hadn’t actually been back to that house in more than twenty years. We usually met Ann at a restaurant and she would come back to the hotel to visit.


If anyone can figure this out for  me, I’d be grateful.

Monday, April 03, 2023

It's Done!

The next to last Cassie book is finally finished. This one took me a long time. I sent it off yesterday to my two ultra-helpful editors, my sister and Rosie Dee. It’s going to take them a while to get back to me and then I’ll need to do the edits. 

And then the BIG problem – what do I do with it then? I still haven’t heard a word from my publisher. I certainly can’t sent it to them but if I publish it myself, well… well there are legal questions. I want this book out. And I’m very excited about the final book in the On the River series. I’ll keep you informed.


I haven’t got much good to say about my health questions. I’m still not feeling so good. The blood pressure is still low and the worst is that is the near constant low grade nausea and the sleepy feeling. I went to a play with some friends Saturday night, Mollie and some of her friends went too. I couldn’t stay. My stomach was upset and I felt like I could curl up under the table and sleep. I just headed home after the first act.

I really want to feel better soon. Mollie and I are traveling to my mom’s hometown next weekend to visit a couple of my cousins. I’ve been making this trip to visit with older relatives for over sixty years. 

The first night we’ll be taking my cousin’s granddaughter and partner to dinner. I think she’s close to Mollie’s age and it hit me that this will be the first time that I’m the little old lady being visited with. Of course, when I see the cousins the next day, I’ll feel younger, both are in their 90’s. 


Hopefully I’ll soon writing that I’m feeling great and that the book is coming out!