I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Friday, December 30, 2022

Great holiday and an update

Sorry I haven’t been here in a while. We had a great Christmas. We had four lovely family gatherings with various families. Mollie, Nick and I Skype with LJ and Collin on Christmas day and Santa was very good to us all. 

I hope the holidays have been good to all of you so far. We’re not big celebrators when it comes to New Years. Nick suggested we go the same place we went last year because he really enjoyed it. Evidently, we’re hitting the living room again! But I’m perfectly fine with that.

A little medical update. I’m very pleased with the Ozempic! My blood sugar has really come down and I’ve lost thirteen pounds since Nov. 1st. I believe it would have been even more than that if there hadn’t been sooooo many extra treats around. The medication keeps me feeling full so there has been a lot less snacking than I normally would

have been doing. I’m still losing, but it’s slowed down. That could be all the Christmas temptations, but I’m planning on really hitting it soon. I’d been going to the gym about four days a week, but not this last week or so. The horrible cold weather slowed me down. Even here in the south it got down to six degrees – trust me, we aren’t used to that!

And now about the CPAP. I finally got mine and I’ve started using in. We are not friends. At least not yet. It blows too hard! I have to go through an act of congress to get them to turn it down. And the thing tells on me if I don’t use it long enough each night. It’s hooked up to the internet and you have to wear it at least four hours a night to be ‘in compliance’ with the insurance company who mostly paying for the thing. 

I’ve used it since the nineteenth and I guess it’s getting better, but like I said we’re not friends. It blows so hard that there is air leaking out all around the tubing. I can’t curl up against Nick or I’d blow him out of the bed. Well, I guess it’s not that bad, but it would be like turning a fan on him. I might like that in the summertime, but Nick doesn’t sleep with a fan. I go to the sleep doc on the 4th of January and we're gonna be turning it down!

People tell me I have to use the CPAP for a month before I’ll really begin seeing the benefits. I’ll working with it and see what happens. But I’m feeling pretty darn good these days so while I’m fussing a little, I definitely feel things are going in the right direction.

Tuesday, December 20, 2022

Very cool birthday gift

I had a great week. I celebrated my birthday and Saturday there was a big family Christmas party.  I’m still learning not to overeat and it’s a hard season to learn that. Normally there aren’t a lot of appetizers around, but at these parties there are shrimp, sausage balls, cheese balls, vegetable trays (I seem to have no problem avoiding these), fruit trays and of course all this comes before the meal and tons of deserts. But I’m learning to adjust.

I wanted to show you a gift that Mollie made for me. I was absolutely delighted. My little girl is craftier than I realized.


She printed off the cover of each of my books in this size, cut little foam pieces to size and glued on the covers. All the books I’ve written are now in the beautiful ornament. Mollie assured me more can be added whenever I’m ready. She also made one for my sister with all her books in it that she’ll give her when we all get together just after Christmas.

And in case I don't get back before all the holidays...

Friday, December 16, 2022

Christmas Meme

Ronnie and Hermione reminded me of this, so I thought I’d share too. I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas season.

Thank you

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?

I always wrap gifts. I enjoy the wrapping and I enjoy opening wrapped gifts.

2. Real tree or artificial? 


3. When do you put up the tree?

That varies, usually it depends on when my boys are coming. If they don’t come until sometime in January, I decorate later so we can leave them up longer. Since they aren’t coming this year, I put it up the second week in December.

4. When do you take your tree down?

Whenever I muster the energy after Christmas.

5. Do you like eggnog?

Yes I do! But I’m the only one in the family that does and I sure don’t need to drink a whole carton.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?

One year I got a machine gun and a baby doll and sure did love them both.

7. Hardest person to buy for?

LJ! He never gives me any ideas.

8. Easiest person to buy for? 

Mollie! She usually has hundreds of ideas!

9. Do you have a nativity scene?

It’s not out this year.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?

I don’t usually send out cards.

11. Worst Christmas gift ever received.

I had an aunt who always gave me a slip every year. I was not thrilled.

12. Favorite Christmas movie?

It’s a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

Usually sometime in October.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?

I probably have, but I usually don’t.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?

The cheese ball my sister-in-law makes.

16. Lights on the tree; colored or white?

They have been white for years, but when we get a new tree I think I’d like colored.

17. Favorite Christmas song?

I love all the classics I grew up listening to, but recently I’ve come to love ‘Mary did you know?’

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?

I always want to stay home!

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?

I grew up listening to Rudolph, so of course.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? 

Our tree goes right to the ceiling. We don’t have either on top.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?

Definitely Christmas morning!

22. Favorite ornament theme or color? 

I love a mixture of everything.

23. Favorite for Christmas dinner?

My sister makes a standing rib roast that’s pretty darn good.

24. What do you want for Christmas this year?

I haven’t really asked for anything much this year, but Mollie and Nick always make sure I’m well gifted.

25. Merry Christmas to all!

Tuesday, December 13, 2022

Great Memories

I’m thinking that most spankos are well acquainted with the movie McLintock. I mean it’s a spanko classic. John Wayne himself, spanking Maureen O’Hara after a tension filled, embarrassing run through the town. Still makes me tingle. Of course, at the same time it a good comedy for the whole family. Long before I came out of the spanko closed, I used to watch it with the kids. I could watch my sexual fantasies play out before my eyes, while still keeping my deep dark secret.


Time has passed and my desires are no longer a secret. My children are grown and are well aware of what I write. But I had to laugh when I got the following text from LJ the other night.



I guess it’s fun to have something from your childhood suddenly click and make sense. Now all I’m wondering about is why he was texting with a friend about a fifty-year-old movie. I’ll ask next time he calls.

Friday, December 09, 2022

Monday, December 05, 2022

Such a fun Saturday!

Saturday was a great day, but it didn’t start off that way. Saturday was the Christmas festival in our little town. There was a Christmas craft show in the old school and my sister and I had signed up to sell our books there. 

We weren’t able to get in the big room, the auditorium, rather we were stuck into an old classroom way back into a corner. I was so disappointed. In order to sell books, you need a traffic flow, lots of people walking by. But in this classroom, you had to squeeze by a lot of other stuff just to get near us.

But we sat everything up and hoped for the best. Let me tell you our little town came through! There was a steady stream of customers coming by. It’s easy to tell readers from non-readers. Some never even glanced at the books, I got the feeling they hadn’t picked up a book since high school. Others were trying to read the titles from across the room – those were the ones we wanted to talk to.

At the other show I’ve attended if I sold five books I was thrilled, Saturday I sold eighteen and my sister sold seventeen. It was a great day all around. One lady came to our table and said quietly, “I bought one of your book two years ago, and I want to get the next one in the series. But I can’t even remember which one of you wrote that book.” We asked her if she could remember anything that happened in the book. If we knew that we could probably tell her what the next one was. She was silent for a moment and then quickly looked around. In a whisper she said, “Someone got spanked.”

“That would be me,” I told her with a smile. She bought the next four in the series. I was telling another woman about my books, she said, “I think I’d like them. If I call my husband and tell him I’ve found something else I want for Christmas he’d say ‘get it’ so I will.” And she bought all ten of the Cassie books at once, $50!

This was a great weekend – visiting with my sister, talking with people who wanted to read my books and even making a little money. I loved it all.


Friday, December 02, 2022

Fantasy Friday - Scare-a-thon

I've been surprised, and pleased, to receive two Fantasy Friday stories in the past few weeks. Anyone and everyone is welcome to send in a story to elisspeaks@yahoo.com. This one if from Patti, I believe it's also posted on her site, Patti's  Stories. Thanks for sharing with us Patti.


I shook my head as I watched her run from her car to the front door. If I hadn't known better, I would say the demons from hell were chasing her. An imagination fueled by horror films, along with listening to stories, was why my girl was afraid of her own shadow. Even years of special chats haven't deterred this behavior.

Before anyone thinks I'm being unreasonable by not allowing my girl to do things she enjoys. Understand to the extent she takes on this passion. On the first day of October begins a month-long marathon of the scarier, the better. The movies start, and when she is not watching tv, she's reading or listening obsessively; this marathon would extend to November, given the change. It only takes a week of this scarathon for her to drag me into the mix.

I'm not a horror movie fan, but it's my responsibility to chase away monsters. It becomes my job to check under the bed, behind curtains, and in closets for spooky things lurking. She's even woken up in the middle of the night, so I can accompany her to the bathroom. Of course, on those occasions, it's me and the hairbrush she fears the following day. I don't mind chasing a few monsters away, but when it comes to the cost of sleep, that's a different story.

She sees me in the doorway and almost knocks me over as her arms surround me, hiding her face in my sweater. "Babe? What is going on?" I ask, although I'm pretty sure of the answer. 

“I got spooked.” although muffled, I understood.

“Come inside. You can tell me all about it.” my girl is still clinging to me, but she is calmer. “Did you eat the dinner I packed?” a shy nod tells me all I need to know. “Have a seat at the kitchen table, and I’ll fix you a snack.” the missed meal doesn't worry me; my girl eats when she's hungry.

At the table, she's relaxed, “I downloaded a Dean Koontz book from the library; it is creepy.” she shivered, “It was ok on the way to work but driving home in the dark, man, that was scary.”  “so many shadows.”  “I was so happy to see you at the door cause when I parked, I didn't want to get out of the car.” 

This behavior baffles me; I don't think she understands it either. I place a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in front of her. "If the book is too scary, you don't have to finish listening."

The look I received in return was one of confusion, “What do you mean? Of course, I'll finish. I have to know what happens.”  “Besides, I can handle it.”

‘Famous last words.’ I think to myself, but out loud, I ask, “would you like to watch a movie with me tonight?” “I think your mind could use a break.” she wrinkled her nose, so I added, “you can always go to bed early.”

“Fine, what movie?” she said, clearly not happy.

“Oh, maybe a Disney movie.” I said jokingly.

“Nooo,” she began to pout, then noticed my smile. “Very funny.”

“You can pick the movie, as long as it's not scary.”  “I'm serious about giving your mind a break.” Earlier, when I caught sight of my girl's terror and watched her run from the car to the house; well, it made me want to ban scary movies forever. Of course, that's not how our relationship works, but I will insist she takes a break.

She chose a light-hearted comedy for us to watch. We snuggled together on the couch holding hands and giggling through the movie. Once the show ended, I would have loved to stay up longer, but I had work in the morning, and sleeping in was not an option. I untangled myself, kissed her good night, and went to bed. I knew without asking the type of movie would be on once I left the room.

At three am, when I was startled by a terrified little girl, I was unhappy. I grumbled as I felt her trying to shake me awake, "Babe, wake up. I need to pee."

“Then go!” I demanded.

“But, well, please come with me.” she pleaded in her most pitiful voice.

As I pulled the covers back, I warned, “young lady, we are going to have a serious chat tomorrow.” I noticed her wince at my sharp tone. I then led her to the bathroom and tucked her back under the covers when she finished. The sounds of her even breathing sounded before I even found the way back to my pillow. As I lay there, my mind was now alert. All hope of quickly falling asleep was gone.

Sometime later, I did fall asleep, but when the alarm blasted, I knew I was in for a long day. I focused on getting ready for work, not the girl sleeping peacefully in bed. Vowing to wear out her bottom the minute she got home tonight. I will always be available for support, and if it is an emergency sleep or not, I'm there but a self-induced scare fest, now that has consequences.

Luckily, I could get through the day without incident, and I napped for thirty minutes upon arriving home. I woke refreshed, ate dinner, then watched tv, waiting for my naughty girl to come home. When the time came, it was deja vu, with me at the door and her running from the shadows into my arms.

After a reassuring hug, I asked, "have you eaten?" she nodded; I assumed she knew what I was going to say next because she hid her face in my shirt. "Do you need to use the bathroom before our chat?"

Unable to hide the whine from her voice, she asked, "I don't want to chat! Come on, please! I'm sorry."

I lifted her chin with two fingers until we were eye to eye, "little girl, are you forgetting our agreement?" I added, "you may not think it's a big deal, but I had a hard time getting back to sleep. I wasn't very productive today because I was tired." my grip became slightly tighter, "how about you find a corner and think about our agreement?"

Now defeated, her shoulders slumped as she walked over to the far corner. Right away, her nose faced the spot where the two walls met. But she failed to lower her pants until I made a point of clearing my throat. Only then did they slowly come down, one more throat clearing, and the panties followed. I sat in our reclining chair, which gave me a perfect view of quivering cheeks.

After ten minutes, I got up and casually retrieved the hairbrush. When I returned, I made myself comfortable on the sofa before calling, “ok, sweetheart, when you're ready, come here.” It didn't take long before she shuffled her way over with her head down and shoulders slumped. I know she isn't happy, but it is only the beginning of October, and I am not planning to be woken up every night for the rest of the month.

Once she is standing in front of me, I ask, “can you please explain our October rules?”

She glanced up, then just as fast back down, “we agreed I could watch scary movies all month as long as, um, well, as long as I don't get overwhelmed.”  then she rushed to add, “I promise I won't get too scared again. Please, I still want to watch them.” 

I should have known she wasn't as worried about a spanking as much as losing her October scare-fest. “Hmm, well, I'm not banning anything. What I am going to do, is spank you. Hopefully, you'll remember what it feels like the next time you're tempted to wake me in the night.” she seemed to be almost happy than the word spanking must have registered, and her smile faded. I let it sink further in before I tapped my thigh, indicating where I wanted her.

“Now, just so we are clear. If there's an emergency or you're sick, you are to wake me.” I began rubbing her bare cheeks as I lectured. “But if you decide to watch horror movies and become frightened,” I changed from rubbing to swatting with each word, as I continued, “You do not wake me!” “Is” swat “that” swat “understood?”

“Yes, Owie, yikes, I'm sorry.” she cried out as I turned her bottom a bright red. Then once I had a pretty even tone on both cheeks, I paused to grab the hairbrush. I let the soft bristles tease her sore bottom before flipping it over and whacking. “Nooo, please, no, it hurts.” whack, whack, whack, I watched as dark red ovals shapes appeared.

"Oh, my dear," Whack, whack, "remember how this feels," Whack, whack, "next time when you're tempted to wake me up in the middle of the night." Whack, Whack, Whack. I'm sure I will have a few more sleepless nights this month, but hopefully, not too many. I made sure to target her sit spots and the backs of her thighs before placing the hairbrush down.

She lay over my lap crying and sniffling as I waited for her to calm down. Once I felt her move, I helped her up, and before she was out of my reach, I pulled her onto my lap. She melted into my embrace, and as we cuddled, I softly whispered, “I love you.” I will never comprehend her need for scary movies, and I can live with not knowing.

Before her eyes closed, she softly whispered, “love you too.”