I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, June 29, 2009

Gradituesday V

Vega – My very first car; the car that rusted on the showroom floor.

Velcro- A handy little invention.

Vagina – A very important girl part. This makes us so very special.

Validate – I have enjoyed being validated by so many other good people who share my interest in spanking.

Valedictorian – Trust me they make the very best lovers!!

Voice – To talk, to communicate, to connect, to explain, to question, to sing, to shout, to argue, to open up, to teach, to comfort, to love…

Visit – That what I feel like we do everyday out here. I really enjoy it.

Virgin – The word had lost its importance for me until by daughter became a teenager. Now it has suddenly become a very important word again.

Veterinary – I loved the one I worked for. He was so good with the animals, such an ass to those of us who worked for him, a nasty temper with most humans, and finally a completely loyal and generous friend.

Vanilla – But only as a scent or a flaver. NOT as a way of life!!


As for the diet update things went pretty well this week. But I have to be honest I did go back on the diet pills for a while. After the last three week of pure stress at work, an arthritis flair up which kept me from the gym and put me on steroids which made me gain weight and topped off with 4 days of Eva's wonderful cooking - I had to do something. So back on the pills, back to the gym and off the snacks resulted in a 3.8 pound loss! I'll take it.

I have had a hard time keeping my mind on the diet and keep any kind of motivation going in my head, even with Nick's help. But one of my best friends has offered to be my diet buddy. We have to talk and see just how we can encourage one another, short term contest maybe. I need short term goals - maybe a week at a time or something. She and I will talk and I'll let you know.

Meanwhile I got the following from my SIL. It seem to express many of my feelings about diet and exercise so I thought I would share.

The Importance of Exercise

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,...... just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

You could run this over to your friends
But just e-mail it to them!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

A new blog in town

I just wanted to pop in and let you know that there is a new blogger in our little part of blogland. With a little pushing, shoving and nudging Florida Dom has started his own site, Florida Dom's Corner. He has been an enormous help to me keeping Fantasy Friday going but his work deserves a home of it's own. He will be re-posting his 'Training Lisa' story over at his new site. And very soon he will be posting a new chapter over there (I got to read it early and I think you are going to like it!). Please drop by and welcome him.


Saturday, June 27, 2009

Chaos on the home front

I am totally overwhelmed and fighting to survive utter chaos. I am so sore from getting up off the floor and down off ladders. Painting and carpeting two rooms at the same time is not for the faint of heart or anyone with a rocky marriage. You can’t imagine the amount of ‘stuff’ the children have collected over the years. None of which Mollie seems ready to part with.

Nick and I agree on most things although he was not wild about the pink spots Mollie painted on her pretty new brown walls. I didn’t like it either but we are trying to be open minded. Nick and I chose the carpet in only minutes. We usually agree on things like that. It’s little things that are likely to annoy me but Nick doesn’t hear quite as well as he used to so I can safely mutter under my breath when he annoys me and that seem to help me get it out of my system.

But I can’t get out in my sun room – LJ’s bed, all the clothes from both kid’s closets (we’re painting closets too), game from closet shelves are all out there. Mollie’s huge bookcase and her massive dresser are in the tiny eating area of my kitchen. The couch is covered – with what I’m not sure. The other chair is surrounded by boxes of tapes, CD’s, photo albums, stuffed animals, sports trophies, and books.

The painting should be done soon – the carpet will be a few weeks and we don’t want to move everything back before that but Arrrrrrgggg! Messiness doesn’t both me but this is way beyond that.

But really don’t mind me. I am just letting off a little steam. Things are good here. The house will look good when it is all done. We even got in a little play time the other day while Mollie was babysitting. Nick doesn’t have to begin his new job until the middle of July and for the first month it will only be part time. He goes back to full time near when I head back to school. So we are really in a good place to ease back in this big change in our lives. So there is my rant for the day, I’ll be back when I get through painting!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Fantasy Friday - Training Lisa, part 6

On this beautiful warm first Friday of Summer I can tell you this story will do nothing to cool you off. Yes Florida Dom has given us another sizzling part of his Training Lisa story. I have emailed Florida Dom often (he is one of the nicest men you would ever want to meet - but completely taken ladies) . He has expressed concern that his stories might be too heavy into BDSM for my readers taste. Seeing the number of hits I get with each of his new stories I have assured him this isn't the case. I think many of us do enjoy stories that push our limits. I enjoy reading of places that I may never go but none the less excite me. Florida Dom's stories do just that. If you haven't been reading go here to find the links for the first parts.

Now sit back and enjoy...

Training Lisa, Part 6

Lisa was a bundle of nerves as her Sir opened the door to his bondage room. She was scared and excited at the same time. She knew she was getting wet just thinking about what lay ahead. She had found out like she liked pain and it turned into pleasure for her. And she liked submitting to her Sir, following his orders and being controlled by him. This was what she had fantasized about for a long time and now it was a reality.

But she didn't know what her limits were and how far was he going to push her. She didn't know how much pain she could take and she was now going to find out. Her Sir was ready to take her to the next level. This was a big test for her so he could find out how much she wanted. He wanted to go to her limits, to scare her, to make her scream out in pain that eventually turnedto pleasure. But he didn't want to go too far and scare her away. He wanted to give her what she wanted. Now he had to find out exactly what that was.

So has he opened the door, they were both looking for answers. He was fully dressed and she was on the floor, on her hands and knees, blindfolded and naked with a collar around her neck attached to a leash that was in his hand. He had found out that being a pet was a turnon for her and after some hesitation, she was even willing to drink out of a bowl like a real pet.

As he pulled on the leash and she started walking on her hands and knees, they entered the bondage room and he closed the door and she heard him lock it. She shuddered a bit. She knew there was no turning back. But she was eager to find out what was going to come next and how she would deal with it.

He had told her that once they started, she could use her safeword at any time and bring everything to a halt. But he warned her that if she did that, he wouldn't push the envelope any farther. And she might miss out on a lot. If she were able to endure the pain, he would bring her to heights that she couldn't imagine. She could scream all she wanted. He had soundproofed the
room. But he would ignore the screams and go forward as long as she didn't use the safeword.

As promised, he then took off her blindfold. It was the first time she had been without the blindfold in his presence. It took her a while to adjust to the light after being in the dark with the blindfold over her eyes. But he was wearing a hood so she couldn't see his face. She would be denied that privilege until she passed his test. But her stomach flipped when she saw his
muscular shoulders. He had the body of a man who works out and takes care of himself. She couldn't wait to see his face, but she knew that wasn't her decision to make. She knew she had one more test to meet before she got that privilege.

She also was stunned as she looked around the bondage room. On one wall were all kinds of floggers and canes. And nipple clamps and ropes. On one table was an assortment of dildos and butt plugs, needles, shaving cream and a razor. She shuddered at the sight of the needles. She didn't even like to get shots. But she knew if he planned to decorate her body with needles, she would accept it. She had come this far and she was willing to accept whatever he wanted to do to her. She was determined to show him she wanted to submit to whatever he had planned for her.

And she noticed the other three walls had floor length mirrors and the ceiling also had a mirror on it so she could see what was going on from several angles. And there was a video camera set up in the corner. He told he wanted a record of this day for his enjoyment so he could relive it in the future if she passed the test.

As he led her around the room, she also saw his bondage table, his St. Andrews cross, a spanking bench, wrist cuffs attached to chains hanging from the ceiling and a stand with a dildo attached to the top. She noticed it appeared to be just tall enough to fit in her.pussy when she was standing up. He told her he had built it specifically for her. And there was a cage with a mattress, a blanket and a bowl of water. She figured she would be spending time in it.

On another table were several lit candles. She knew this probably meant that wax play was going to be something she would have to endure during this session. She wondered how she would cope with hot wax being dribbled on her naked body. She assumed she was going to find out. Seeing everything in the room filled her with conflicting emotions. She knew this was going to be an
intense session. She knew she was going to have to accept more pain than she had ever dealt with before. But she was starting to understand that she must be a pain slut. Just the thought of the pain and the bondage he had planned for her was a huge turnon. She knew she was getting so wet that she might go over the top just from the pain. And the thought of getting orgasms from
the pain turned her on even more. She felt like she was gushing.

He suddenly broke her train of thought with a question.

Are you ready? he asked. She didn't know if she'd ever be ready for this but she knew she had only give one answer. "Yes, Sir,'' she said.

Are you willingly ready to submit to whatever I have planned for you? Again, she didn't know if she'd ever be ready, but she found herself almost eager to get started. She now wanted to find out if she had any limits, if she could submit fully to his wishes. Again, she answered in a soft voice, "Yes, Sir.''

Are you happy to be under my control and live by my rules? This answer was easy. She had fantasized a long time about submitting to a Sir who would bring her to new heights. "Yes, Sir,'' she said.

He then tugged her leash and led her to the bondage table, told her to stand up and sit on the table. He then gently laid her down on the table on her back and put cuffs around her wrists and ankles. She then pulled her arms and secured them tightly to the front legs of the table. He then spread her legs and tied them tightly to the bottom legs of the table. She was now spread eagled. He then took off her dog collar and replaced it with a posture collar that covered her entire neck and prevented her from lifting her neck. And then he tied a strap across her forehead to make sure she couldn't move her head. Now she couldn't virtually move a muscle. She was completely tied down. Just to make sure, he poked a needle in one of her tits. By reflex action, she tried to move but she couldn't move at all. She could only watch what was going on while looking at the ceiling mirror. He smiled. Now he had her bound the way he wanted.

He then took a pair of her panties out of his pocket. He had her wear panties that day instead of her usual thong because he waned her scent on them. He then pushed them inside of her pussy to absorb all of her juices. He then took the panties out, folded them and put them on her nose so she could sniff her scent and have evidence of how turned on she was, how much she wanted
this. He told her the panties had another purpose. She was allowed to scream, but it would not stop him. Only the safeword would stop him. But he preferred her to process the pain and if he decided her screams were distracting him, he were stuff the panties in her mouth.

He was now ready to begin.

The first thing she saw in the ceiling mirror was that he was bringing the shaving cream and razor to the table. That meant he was going to shave her pussy again. He liked to begin each session that way so she had a very smooth pussy. Her armpits, of course, were unshaven. She was not allowed to shave those. The unshaved pits were his mark on her. And she wasn't allowed to shave her own pussy. That task for reserved for him. And she liked it when she felt him squirting the shaving cream all over her pussy as she watched in the ceiling mirror.

Then she watched and felt him stroking the razor across her pussy and removing all the stubble. She loved the feeling and knew she was gushing. It felt so intimate because she felt like she was offering the most intimate part of her body to him. As he kept wielding the razor over her pussy, she wanted to wiggle in her excitement, but she was tied down too securely to move. That added to the sensation as she felt herself getting wetter and wetter. After he finished, he wiped a warm towel over her pussy to get rid of the last of the shaving cream. Oh, that felt so good to her. She again tried to wiggle, but she couldn't and she started to sweat. She knew she was right on the
verge of coming if only he touched her more. As she groaned, she said, "please.''

The mood was suddenly broken when she felt him slap one of her tits. Hard. She was stunned. But he reminded her that she was not to beg to come. She would get a chance to come if she were a good girl and submitted to the pain, but she would do it on his schedule, not hers. "I'm sorry sir,'' she said. "It won't happen again.'' He replied, "It better not.''

He then asked her the question that she dreaded and yet was eager to hear at the same time. "Are you ready for pain,'' he asked. "Yes, sir,'' she said.

He then brought a tray of lit candles in glass containers to the table. She knew what was next. Wax play. She had read about wax play. But she hadn't experienced it. The thought of that hot candle wax dribbling on her body scared her. She didn't want to get burned. She figured he would give her pain, but trusted him enough that he wouldn't burn her. She didn't know it, but he knew how to do it to give her pain, but not burn her. The key to wax play was the height from which it was dropped. It cooled in the air. So he got on a step stool and held the glass with the candle in it several feel above her. He would judge the right height from her reaction. He wanted her to feel pain but didn't want to leave her any burns.

She was apprehensive as she watched in the ceiling as he held the glass with the candle above her. She was almost gasping for breath as she awaited her fate. And suddenly, he turned the glass over and she felt the wax falling on her tits. She flinched but was surprised to find out it wasn't that hot. When he saw she didn't flinch much, he lowered it the next time. She gasped,
but he saw it didn't burn her. He had the right height. It caused her pain, but didn't burn the skin. So he started dribbling it over her. He planned to cover the front of her body from her tits to her pussy.

She was able to process the pain and found it was turning her on as the wax from candle after candle continued to dribble on her body. She knew she was a pain slut. She loved the fact she was submitting to him and accepting the pain he wanted her to feel. She again tried to wiggle and buck against her bonds, but she couldn't move. Finally, when she was covered, he stopped and
she exhaled. She had endured the pain without using her safeword. She had gasped and groaned, but hadn't screamed at a full pitch and he hadn't stuffed the panties in her mouth. As she lay there quietly now that the first stage was over and processed everything in her mind, he decided to she show her how turned on she was. He took the panties and once again shoved them in her
pussy to soak up her juices once again. And then he took them out and once again put them on top of her nose. As she breathed in her scent, she realized it had become stronger. The wax play had stimulated her.

She also need time to come down from the experience and her Sir quietly petted her as she collected her wits about her and started wondering what was next. As he went to the wall and took down one of his canes, she knew. A caning was next on his agenda. He told her that he would cane some of the wax off her body, but she would get pleasure from the pain. The thought of getting pleasure made her smile, but she knew she'd also have to endure the pain.

As she lay thinking about her conflicting emotions, she saw him raise his arm in the ceiling mirror and quickly felt the lash against her tits. The wax came flying off, but a thin red stripe also appeared on her tits. She gasped as he kept the blows coming and she started crying. The pain wracked her body. She didn't know how much more she could take, but then he rubbed her
clit and she came in a shudder. Her body almost exploded against her bonds. And then he repeated the process. She felt the pain and came again. And again. She was getting exhausted as her body kept reaching new heights. She started panting as she processed both the pain and the pleasure. She wanted it to stop and yet to wanted more. She started sweating and felt like it was an out of body experience as she saw herself in the ceiling mirror trying to move in her tight bonds.

Just when she didn't think she could take it anymore, he stopped. She just exhaled and sighed. She had come so many times that she didn't think she could do it again. And she could see in the ceiling mirrors that the front of her body was covered with red stripes and welts. They stung, but she felt relieved that she had absorbed everything he had given her. She was happy that
she had pleased him. As she lay there catching her breath, he again took her panties and stuffed them in her pussy one more time to absorb more of her fluids. And then he put them on her nose and she drank in the scent. She liked the smell that showed how turned on she was submitting to him.

He then took a knife, scraped the rest of the wax off her body and then treated her welts and stripes with cream. Oh, that felt so good. And then he untied her and she stretched her legs and arms, which were almost numb of being tied so tightly. He had her sit up on the table and he sat down next to her and cuddled her, petting her, giving her aftercare and congratulating her
for being a good girl. As he stroked her, he reminded her that she had met his expectations and that he was pleased with her. She loved to hear that. Hearing that she had pleased her Sir made her tingle all over.

He then tied the dog collar back around her neck, attached the leash and had her slide off the table back on her hands and knees. He then led her to her cage and told her to enter it. He slapped her butt as she went on and told her that this afternoon, it would get some red coloring. But first, he locked her in the cage and told her to rest. She stretched out onto the mattress, thinking about everything that had happened and savoring it.

As he left the room, she wondered what else he had in store for her in the afternoon. She wound find out soon enough.


Florida Dom always leaves me hungry to know what is going to happen next. Florida Dom you have my thanks once again!! Please leave him a comment to tell him what you think and encourage him to keep going! You can contact him directly at swdftbscribe@aol.com

Fantasy Friday is a place where anyone and everyone is invited to
join in and submit stories. And I do need more stories. If you are thinking of starting a blog, if you have always wanted to try your hand at writing but never had a place for anyone to read it - here's a place to get your feet wet. Please, give it a try. Please send any stories to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Another New Beginning

I have good news and bad news, well not really bad but not wonderful, well it could be wonderful but I don’t know. Can you tell I’m not sure how I feel about this?

Nick got a job! He worked at one job for nearly 30 years before the place closed. Then he got another one in the same industry for about a year – and they shut down operations. That’s been just over 2 ½ years ago. He’s been looking ever since. This will be the same kind of job but in a different industry.

Although it was hard to adjust to him being out of work and living on just one salary, we got used to it. It seemed funny to have him around all the time at first but I came to love it. I am really going to miss him!

So it’s another new beginning for us and we will readjust. But I have to tell you that I am most grateful that this was the point in our marriage when he was out of work for an extended period. We have become closer than I ever dreamed possible and I am positive that job or no job we will not let that slip away.

Oh… what is the job? I’m not exactly sure. It has something to do with screwing… or making screws. You know maybe I need to get more clarification on that!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Paint me busy...

I am beginning to wonder if Nick and I have bitten off more than we can chew. Let’s blame it all on Mollie. She wants LJ’s room. I’ve been fighting this for years. I held her off for a few years by crying every time she mentioned it. I really didn’t do that intentionally it was just that every time I thought of LJ really not living here anymore it broke my heart.

But gradually over time I have become a realist. He doesn’t live here any more. He has only spent about 5 or 6 nights here in the last 2 years. And two of those nights were Christmas Eves so I guess I have to face it, my little boy doesn't live with me anymore.

I was against having her so close to our room – Kaylynn teased me that they make soundproof paint – but they don’t dog-gone-it. It will be alright. We’ve found the best time to get wild and crazy and noisy when she is out of the house anyway.

But all this means we have to get all the stuff out of LJ’s room so we can paint it for Mollie. His stuff is now all over the house now but mostly in the sun room. We almost have his old room painted. Next we need to empty Mollie’s room (Eva and Adam’s new room when they visit) so we can paint it. So we can’t move LJ’s stuff in there until we get it done. Then there’s the carpet…

Apparently when we weren’t looking both of our kids must have slaughtered animals on their carpets. I can’t imagine anything else that could have made such stains! So we want to change the carpet in both rooms. More furniture moving… nothing on the closet floors, in general just a pain in the butt! And then if we aren’t completely burnt out we need to paint our bedroom – it probably hasn’t been painted in over 10 years. Geeze I’m tired just thinking about it all. But I have some special company coming this summer and I want the house to look presentable!

So busy summer, lots to get done but Nick and I get to spend a lot of time together and the house will look great when it is all done. And you know throughout all this I just bet I’ll find time to be on the computer a little!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Gradituesday U

Ultimatum – That’s just a sexy thing for a spanko.

Uneasy – The delicious feeling you get when your spanker give you that look.

Uncomfortable – I have spent the last 35 years or so being comfortable – bored but comfortable. The original discussion with Nick about spanking was uncomfortable. And I am most grateful for the times my rear end has been uncomfortable since!

USA – I don’t always agree with all decisions our government makes, but I love it here and I am proud to live here.

Uranus – I am so grateful that I got to quit teaching science so I do not have to teach 6th graders about Uranus.

Understudy – I will be grateful for any part my son may ever get!!

Unique – Every one of my friends out here are completely unique. And I am grateful for each and every one of you!

Understood – I am grateful to find a place after all these years where I feel understood.

Unhealthy (foods) – Sadly they taste the very best: chips, donuts, candy, snack cakes, Cheetos, suckers, Dortios, honey roasted peanuts, pork skins, popcorn, brownies, pop tarts, marshmallows, honey buns, crackers, cookies, fried apple pies, moonpies, soft drinks, Big Macks, hot dogs, deep fried oreos, Little Debbie’s cakes, sugar pops, ice cream, fries…

Now isn’t that a great way to segue into a diet update. The news wasn’t good before I ate all of Eva’s wonderful cooking. Nick was really very understanding but he had put an upper limit on what he would tolerate. Unfortunately I was over that – by a lousy 2 tenths of a pound. But I will have to admit that showed a solid 2 pounds gain that I can’t blame of scale fluctuations. From my lowest point I am up a full 7 pounds and I want this to STOP! Thankfully Nick does too. The hairbrush came out and he wasn’t kidding when he says he wants to see a two pound loss this week.

Nick was very kind during these crazy last few weeks. Maybe he should have been stricter but I was pretty stressed and I know he really wasn’t sure whether forcing me to the gym or spanking for the gains would help relieve my stress or add to it. And to be really honest I am not sure myself which it would have done. I was content to let him do what he thought best for me at the time. Often he really does seem to know what is best for me better than I do.

But back to the diet, I like that he has given me a specific goal for this week – 2 pounds, tough but doable if I go back to what has worked in the past. I am also happy that he is not ignoring the gain. Now that summer is here I have no doubt he is going to stay on top of things and not let me backslide. Dieting sure is easier when there is a loving husband holding a hairbrush standing behind you!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

The stress SHOULD be over!

We are just back from a wonderful vacation, schools out for the summer, stress is gone – everything should be wonderful in my life, right? But something Nick said yesterday has clouded everything. It was like being thrown in ice water – how could he be so cruel? What did this usually kind man say to me? Looking at the little table beside my recliner – with three or four empty cups sitting there he said “Now that you’re not teaching I think you can take care of your own empties”. Can you believe it? Good grief! What’s next – putting my own dishes in the dishwasher? Sweeping? Mopping? COOKING? Heavens, is laundry in my future??

This is no minor problem folks! Do you realize that if he expects me to actually do something around here it will cut into my 24/7 computer time. Maybe you all could explain to him that you need my mindless drivel to get through your day! Oh well, maybe not.

One other thing happened Saturday. Nick used the gift he gave me for our 20th anniversary – without my permission I might add – and broke it! Now this gift was a replacement of the wedding gift he gave me 26 years ago and if I recall correctly he broke that first one too. I know some of you may remember these truly romantic gifts he has given me throughout our marriage but if not scroll down.

Yes here you see a perfect likeness of the wedding gift he gave me and the replacement he gave me for our 20th wedding anniversary. I'm not kidding when I tell you he is a true romantic.

So do you think I can get over all this, the broken gift, the heartless way he spoke to me? I don’t know if I can forgive him or not but my guess would be that several spanking and some wild monkey sex would go a long way to getting me in a forgiving mood. I’ll let you know if he tries to get on my good side!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Fantasy Friday - Resisting the Dive

We’re home now and I am already missing Eva and Adam. The trip was great. I always feel so at home at Eva’s. Add to that the grandbaby to play with, the best food in the world and the chance to meet and visit with Kaylynn on this trip! There will be a little more about that meeting in another post but today let’s get on to Fantasy Friday!

This Fantasy Friday is another one from Kaylynn! And of course it’s another great one. This woman’s writing skills continue to amaze me and this story is no different.

Please enjoy…

Resisting the Dive

As her toes gripped the edge of the diving board, she used her imagination to visually bind and toss her family members off the high dive. They landed in various places, contingent on how pissed off they had made her. Their bullshit had no room in her brain as she focused on her intended movements mid air. She saw her brother taking another hit on his two foot bong – splat – throw him on the pool deck. She saw her dad glancing at her desperate text messages and replacing the cell in his pocket with no response – ashes in a bonfire. She saw her mom driving away from their dinnerless house to yet another AA meeting – liquefying mom she allowed her lame ass to trickle into the shower drain. Coach T’s dying….. She pictured hugging away his cancer. She swallowed hard. This was it, their last practice together came down to their simple favorite, a reverse layout.

She moved each foot individually, meticulously readjusting. It looked like she was crushing a cigarette butt on the edge of the board. The balls of her feet barely touching the fiberglass rough edge where her toes supported her 120 pounds of pure muscle. Her hair in a jet black pony tail looked like a severe line down her back. Her blue eyes shot through the concrete wall across the street as she stood in perfect stillness. Then with knees slightly bent… one… two …. three. She jumped high. Her waist bent with her feet pointed toward the ceiling. Jackknifing her body, her finger tips grazed the tips of her toes. She then laid back poker straight with plenty of time until her finger tips found the water. Barely making a splash her dive was enough to make a grown man cry.

Coach T was sitting on the bleachers, something he never did before his diagnosis. He did in fact shed a tear. Pancreatic cancer was going to bring an end to a career that would have otherwise ended with a possible Olympic contender. Rachael Villarubia was his pride and joy. He and his wife Cindy had never had children of their own. And now Cindy at 35 and Thomas age 47 were going to be parted by death after 17 years of a great marriage. Rachael knew he was headed to the hospital immediately afterward and wanted to make him smile.

“How’s that?” She beamed? She tried not to let her emotions find their way to the edges of her lips as she wiped away the slick water.

“You make me a prideful man Rach!”

“That’s my job!” She felt every bit the confident young woman he had helped her become.

Later that week she sat with him; she tried her best to be strong. It was beyond her how he plummeted so quickly. She felt she was living in a fog. She practiced at the pool going through the motions. One of the things Coach T insisted on was choosing for her the best replacement possible. He refused to let her fail her goals because of him. He was very weird and private about his decision which made Rachael have to trust. She hated the vulnerability associated with that issue. After her parent’s divorce and her mom’s trip to the ER she learned not to trust. It was easier that way. Depending on yourself came natural to her. But Coach T had been different. He was so dependable, so forgiving, so encouraging.

Sitting with him in the hospice part of the hospital she felt like she was under water. Her sense of hearing was shot and she could barely see in front of her. He kept trying to tell her everything would be OK. She kept looking through him like she was about to dive. Mentally she was feeling like she was diving into an empty pool. They had said their official goodbyes and she was numb to the core. Cindy handed her a tissue but she couldn’t even cry.

“Rach your new coach will meet you at the… at my funeral.” Rachael shook her head like he was speaking an entirely different language. She was furious that he was making this more real, more painful than it possibly could be.

“I want your word that you’ll respect him like you have me.” This couldn’t possibly be so fucking wrong. She wanted to spontaneously combust right there beside the hospital bed. She looked around and saw the nurse’s call button for emergencies and thought about requesting a straight jacket, a 250 pound escort and a room in the psyche ward with a bottle of Jack waiting for her. Her 22 year old mind wasn’t equipped to take this next connecting flight. She barely remembered kissing his cheek and turning slowly where she sat outside the door on the floor. Her head in her hands she watched the spots in the floor dance in front of her eyes.


The funeral itself was a wonderful tribute to Thomas Leonard McGuire’s 47 years of life. He was honored in a simple and touching mass that packed the echoing stone walls unlike any other parishioner before him. The country club seemed an unlikely and maybe to some irreverent choice to celebrate his life. But Cindy McGuire insisted his life represent just that, even after its unnatural end. And so there was an American version of a wake.

Rachael found herself in unfamiliar territory. For the past five days she refused to go back to the pool. Instead she ran miles and miles trying to clear her head and heart. It just didn’t feel right without Coach T. She could barely stand to face the facts, which stood before her with their wicked truths. For the first time in years she was seeing through the eyes of a sensitive young woman. She much preferred the familiar and comfortable view offered by an angry hyper focused post teen. But she entered the church and then country club feeling raw. She wanted to shake off the pain but couldn’t. Complicating matters she felt the eyes upon her. Outside of Thomas’ painfully early departure from earth and leaving Cindy the love of his life a widow, everyone talked quietly of Rachel’s tragedy. In typical fashion no one wanted to broach the obvious, at least not with her.

The mass had started at 2pm and the wake was well underway by 4 pm. Rachael had easily downed two long island ice teas and was feeling no pain given she had eaten practically nothing in days. Taking her third one with her she walked outside; she was tired of polite hellos and condolences. The unusually hot spring day allowed the outdoor patios to be in use giving way to the healing sunshine everyone needed. She didn’t know how she would have survived if it had been a cloudy or rainy day. Finding a private corner at the side of the patio, she welcomed the inability to not to hold back a huge stretch. She was alone and stretched long and hard like a waking cat with no worries. She like, Cindy, appreciated their kind words but needed some solitude to physically release the unbearable tension. This week had been a veritable hell. She felt herself walking through the days knowing a new definition of the word ‘tired’.

She tried not to guess who was to be her future coach. But she couldn’t help herself. There were several obvious choices. There was John Haughton who had been in semi retirement since last year. There was Rob Broadmore who in her opinion spread himself too thin. There were coaches she only knew of. She needed solid ground. She wanted to know but didn’t. She dreaded getting back to the pool but understood it was all the she lived for. Barely audible she groaned in frustration as she released down her from her last stretch. And with a child of an alcoholic’s reflex, she went to reach for her third long island iced tea that she had brought with her to keep her company. She closed her eyes relishing the taste of the insidious alcohol when she felt his eyes on her. Counter intuitively she kept her eyes closed as if he would go away given her deserved moment alone with her drink. God she was starting to feel like her mother!

She heard only the last step descend upon her as the leather sole ground into the slate patio. She opened her eyes only to see a hand about the size of her face pull her tea glass firmly from her slippery fingers. As she spun around to see who had the balls to be such a dick she heard the glass bottom hit the stone wall a bit too forcefully, just escaping breaking. She winced from seeing him as much as from the assumed breaking of the glass. While it never broke – what little composure she had left did.

Only a coach would be so presumptuous to treat someone like they owned them. Only a coach at his limits would sneak up and pull alcohol from her mouth unprovoked. Only a coach would stare you down like an assistant principal from military middle school. Except he wasn’t a coach – he was -in her mind, and by all acceptable standards - a dick.

Mark Rocca had been was coached by Coach T’s good friend who lived in London. Rachael had learned to detest his name by the age of 15. It was only brought up under the guise of Rachael’s need to correct her attitude. What she gleaned was that Mark was the ideal, the consummate, the fuckin’ perfect golden boy. Rachael let Coach put the idea in her head to strive for Mark’s sense of self control and maturity. He was always a step ahead of her, like an annoying older brother. Furthermore, how could she compete with centuries of overly proper English civility?

Now at age 29 he lived with the frustration of knowing he would and should have taken the gold had it not been for the drunk driver that had ruined his life. Two crushed discs at the L5 and S1 level ended his dreams. Great, just fucking great, now he could come back via Rachael to fulfill his angry uncompleted life. She promised herself she would visualize catapulting him off the spring dive and through the cinder blocks before she did her reverse 2 ½ somersault pike.

Spinning around refusing to look him again in the eyes, she began to walk away. And it wasn’t just some slinking out of the scenery exit. She took giant angry strides directly into the area of the patio where she had no clue was closed in with an iron gate. They gated it in hopes of keeping the drunkest of patrons from wandering from the patio into the governor’s drive, obstructing the flow of Jaguar traffic.

Watching her walk from where she had trapped herself back to the patio he studied her carefully. Not a word had been spoken between them. And yet he knew all he needed to know after watching her throughout the day. The one thing he hadn’t realized was her intense anger and impulsivity. She stomped away under the wisteria. It blossomed off ancient branches over the wide trellis. Mark saw dedication and commitment for the purpose of beauty. He was aware of his reluctance to take in the intent – the relaxation part of beauty. His hand went to his shirt collar and he swiped it down with his index finger hoping to relieve the sudden awareness of the pressure that choked his neck. The problem was that the source of the pressure couldn’t be relieved from the outside in.

She was in the parking lot fighting through the gleam off the car surfaces trying to remember where she had parked hers. He watched her but followed quietly. Even though she had had too much to drink she moved with jerky motions as if she’d taken amphetamines, not alcohol. Mark marveled at her energy level. It was presently directed toward escape. He sprinted across the lot at the sound of her car engine. She let the heat billow out of her lowered windows and sunroof. The air conditioning was blasting almost as loudly as the rock music. He gained advantage by her not hearing his approach. He reached in from the passenger’s side removed the keys from the ignition. The sound of silence was deafening to Rachael and she sat there trapped.

“Are your feelings of ……… I’ll say “surprise” overriding your obligation to say a proper goodbye to Cindy and Coach T’s family?” His English accent sent shivers down her spine. Foreign accents had always made her hot. But it was that and is intense green eyes that sent her over the visual edge. But she quickly looked away from him and sat still as if her presence would only be detected by movement. She stared ahead into the white washed stucco wall. Mark was underwhelmed with her 22 year old maturity. He knew she’d been through so much, but felt she should be accountable for so much more. She had honestly planned to compose herself and not drive. But she knew he would never believe her – not with his issues. Then she was pissed at herself for realizing she wanted to assure him she wasn’t behaving rudely and didn’t plan on driving drunk. He didn’t own her…. Not exactly.

“Think Rachael!!” his voice was firm and angry and too quiet. “Why would Coach T wait until now for you to know I’m your coach? You obviously have some control issues. Coach obviously thought your anger over his choice to make me your coach was going to cost him energy he didn’t have to give. Otherwise he would have told you before he died!” With teeth gritted he walked around to the driver’s side of the car.

Rachael blinked tears back that flooded and flowed through her eyes. She honestly didn’t have a clue as to why he’d not told her while he lived. She thought he hadn’t yet worked things out and didn’t want her to know that. Realizing that Coach T considered her unable to deal with and respect his choice, she attempted a futile grip in response to her remorse on the steering wheel. She was headed for a destination all right, but it was not a place she’d ever been before.

He crouched down to the driver’s side and rested both forearms on the window’s edge while he leaned into the car putting his lips close to her ear. His voice was very quiet. Had Rachael not been so hypervigilant she would have not been able to make out his almost inhuman growl that formulated words.

“Get your little ass out of the car…..Now. Say your goodbyes. Then you and I have some control issues to deal with.” Standing up he opened her door. Offering her his hand like some Victorian fop offering his arm for entrance onto the ballroom floor, Rachael peeled her eyes from the windshield. She stared at Mark like a girl who had strapped on some brass balls! Her looks didn’t quite match with her slowing tears falling off her chin and cheeks. Perhaps that is why Mark miraculously maintained his gentlemanly behavior despite her inability to reign herself in with her “I’ll kill-you-where-you-stand” looks. Foolishly she stayed in the front seat seated and glaring at him.

Mark was the oldest. He had three younger sisters with whom he remained quite close. He knew how to be gentle and directive. Sighing heavily he carefully gripped her left arm with his right hand and with his left he placed it under her same elbow. Lifting her out carefully, Rachael was smart enough to exit her car. Standing she used the excuse of smoothing out her dress in order to get Mark to release her arm. Breathing in she attempted deep calming breathes but managed only short crisp ones as she squared her shoulders and started her walk back to the wake. Once inside Mark deceptively placed his hand on her shoulder with a look of kindness. He had dug deep within himself to convince and assure the family that his physical closeness came from a place of comfort and kindness. But the unconscious and occasional squeezing of his fingertips kept Rachael exceedingly aware of her recalcitrant heart.

He had to hand it to her. She could easily run for political office or join a community theatre because she was on her best behavior. Apparently she did have some ability to act her age. Rachael would come to understand that he was in charge of getting her to the Olympics. There would be no acting if she expected to learn under his instruction. He knew tonight would be the beginning of some very long lifetime lessons. He wondered if she had a clue how such behavior would be handled in England. He highly doubted it.

“I need to use the restroom” she announced, giving him scant acknowledgement. She didn’t wait for any reaction. She veered away from the exit and hurrying up the stairs she managed to lose his hand from her shoulder shrugging it off at last. She hated him with every fiber in her being. Her teeth were clenched and she swung the door open to the restroom with such force, she surprised herself. She cared for herself then rested upon the couch with the intent of napping. She was even more tired if that was humanly possible. Her eyes closed as she settled into a goose down pillow with the softest scarlet silk.

At least she knew better than to ignore him completely Mark thought, sensing a win. She was at least explaining where she was headed. If she had true insight she’d escape out the window he outwardly chuckled. Out in the shining marble foyer the mood was somber compared to the room with the bar, where most were gathered. A shocked small boy hearing Mark dare to chuckle, craned his head backward while walking with his dad to see who dared laugh. He’d obviously been schooled severely before entering the country club about proper behavior.

Mark sat on the cushioned and tasseled pillows. He chuckled again. She’d need a pillow for awhile after he was done with her. Funny he’d only spanked during sex, never having time to develop relationships to the next level. But he longed to use his natural commanding skills for a true disciplinary spanking. He rehearsed exactly the steps he’d take once she walked down the stairs. He looked up and frowned, she was obviously taking her time.

He almost felt guilty agreeing with Tom that he was the perfect guy to coach Rachael. Tom had explained to Mark her constant need to challenge authority. While he could lovingly redirect her, she was getting too old to be so challenging. And she may not move quickly enough to the next level needed to make the Olympic cut. Tom had known she had the skills, she was just afraid to use them all. It was almost as if she held back purposefully thinking she didn’t deserve to achieve. She made it clear she didn’t trust life itself.

Mark quickly realized her personality would totally benefit from his almost military autocratic mindset. He leaned back and his body language exuded ownership and dominance. He was a welcomed visual to the women exiting the occasion who were ready to think again about the living. What a better confirmation of life than to consider procreation. Mark definitely had that look about him that inspired women to consider such thoughts. And the smiles he received while sitting there the fifteen minutes awaiting Rachael’s passive aggressive tantrum proved it. He had a fleeting visual of her using the fire escape with her dress hiked well above her thighs for mobility. Soon he thought, soon. He almost wanted to see how long she thought she could keep him waiting.

His heart beat a little faster as he walked up the stairs to the elaborate women’s restroom. He waltzed right in and sat down next to Rachael on the extra long coach meant for a diva with one sided pillows. Rachael was curled into a fetal position and looked like an angel sleeping. Mark’s dominant heart wanted to soar. Opportunities like this never came so easy. He listened for anyone using the room for its original design. One woman was washing her hands in the adjoining section and looked confused and amused at his presence upon her leaving. He guessed it wasn’t the first time she’d seen a young man and woman using that couch for its intended design. Of course she would’ve shown Rachael an entirely sympathetic look had she known Mark’s intent for the couch.

Rachael quickly woke from her very brief rest when she heard the deadbolt click loudly. Her eyes bolted open very wide and she whipped her head to see her danger. She quickly sat tucking her knees up under her and leaned back into the couch for protection.

Leave it up to a country club to think of everything for the convenience of its hedonistic patrons. He doubted Rachael knew her ears and her bottom were about to “get a beating”. Standing over her he loved this feeling. It was almost predatory in nature. He put his hands on his hips and stared at her thinking. Rachael was completely on edge wondering what cutting words he’d have for her next. Obviously some private lecture about her “control issues” she heard his sexy English accent run through her memory.

“This is actually a better place than the back of your small car.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Better for WHAT!” She was confused and pissed. And as he saw her overconfident nature concerning their communication, he knew it was time.

“This.” And with one quick movement he unceremoniously pushed her over his lap and with much strength and skill he began to offer her unsolicited and unwavering verbal and physical “facts” about exactly who was in control. He reminded her to use some of her own control; otherwise she’d be very embarrassed. As her shock began to wear off due to the ever increasing pain, she had the self preservation skills to try to push herself off his lap. He surprised her by standing her up. She was almost more shocked that he allowed her to rise when she pushed, than the fact that the spanking occurred. She had endured about eight very hard whacks with his very muscular arms and large hands. She hurt bad and rubbed herself while trying to back away toward the door.

She looked completely out of her element and he relished it. She opened her mouth because she wanted to flood his ears with creative and lasting swear words that would cause him to never ever touch her again. Maybe she hoped he would leave her like everyone else had, proving she wasn’t worth sticking around for. But all that happened was Rachael’s mouth opened seeking words that couldn’t describe her shock and anger. Mark couldn’t wait for the next phase of his lesson. Before she found sound to accompany her opened mouth he commanded the unthinkable.

“Lift your dress up and back over my lap NOW. It’s time you learn a little respect!” Her self-preservation was as scrambled as her composure. Brushing aside her hair from her eyes, she was caught between running immediately or feigning cooperation and then running. Never for a second did she consider listening to his demands! Mark infuriated her, especially after putting her over his knee. She closed her eyes for a second longer than a normal blink then turned away from Mark.

Needing time to think which he wouldn’t give her, she felt steam rolled and trapped. Really nothing had changed for her these last two months. Except now she had to accept Mark as her fuckin’ disciplinarian and coach. She felt her anger tipping the scales again against her situation. She had to do something. She could scream and then he’d tell everyone he spanked her ass. That would be an Enquirer article waiting to happen. They could post it along with all the other coaches who’ve spanked their gymnasts – fucking perfect. She could be the brat of the spring board! Last minute female thinking launched her into high level manipulative pleading and sympathy. It was her only chance. Slim given his off-the-charts arrogance but it was all she had.

“Why are you doing this to me? I’ve been through so much. I don’t deserve this. You’re being so mean and unfair. And you never even gave me a chance. You just ripped the drink from my hand. Nobody from my family even stayed after the service. And I don’t even know you.” It was then that she should’ve stopped because her eyes narrowed after the word “you”. They both knew she lied. She knew all she needed to know about Mark. Coach T had made her promise she would give him carte blanche respect knowing he was able to take her to her goals. She knew him to be stellar in his diving career. She understood that he was intense and worthy especially after his recovery. She thought of why his career was cut short and she understood how she’d really screwed up walking to her car two ice teas in a half hour.

She quickly flashed to her mother’s continuous warnings of her family’s ability to produce addicts. Hell she was addicted to her sport truth be told! All these thoughts echoed quickly through her head as she heard her whiny voice echoing through the bathroom.

He never changed his impatient expression. Bargaining was not ever going to happen. What was going to happen was what he had in his head. And if he saw her going to the Olympics, she knew it would happen. But first she knew they had to get through this moment.

“It’s time to give it up Rachael. All of it, your insecurity, your anger, your fear of failure, your inability to accept change, the thoughts that life’s unfair – and most importantly any thoughts that I’m not in control! Believe me you’ll feel better after this is over with. It’s time.”

“But I don’t want….” Her pleading sounded so sad.

“Now means now, dress up and you over, if you’re not doing what I asked before I finish this sentence than you don’t deserve any medal and have wasted years of your life.” Mark’s smile was broad as she thrust her dress up and flung herself back on top of his lap and covered her face with her hands well before he finished his sentence. Almost as important was his success in having her obey him, was the fact that her ass was beyond gorgeous and framed in a black lace thong. He had never spanked another athlete. He had no idea how he would ever keep from falling for this girl. There were definitely occurrences of athletes and coaches dating and married to each other. Who else did they have the chance to meet? The intimacy level was off the charts with this level of training. Tom knew exactly what he was doing, Mark could see that now. And admired him even more knowing he’d had Rachael under his wings for years.

“What?” Mark said leaning his head closer to hers responding to the tiniest sound he thought possible to detect.

“Please don’t spank me too hard” he could barely make out the second time it made its debut from her lips.

“Rachael, what’s going to happen is going to happen. You’ve got control over only so much and this isn’t one of those things. I suggest you spend your efforts thinking about how to avoid this happening again before the week’s over with!”

“What!!” she shrieked at the audacity. It was timed perfectly with the palm of his hand beginning his coaching career with Rachael. She didn’t have but two seconds to think about how exposed, embarrassed and totally flaming hot her ass felt before he started to deliver with hideous precision and geographical repetition, the spanking of a lifetime which fell like cinders resting on the bottom of her cheeks. Her hands no longer covered her face but reached backwards as she twisted her body to stop him about stroke number five.

“No honey, you’re not even close to being finished.” SMACK!!! “You’d better adjust quickly because the more you struggle the longer you stay!” SMACK!!!! SMACK!!! SMACK!!!!! ….. This continued for over five very painful minutes, until she finally gave over to him. And he had to hand it to her, she could take it. His hand was out of practice and was feeling the heat as she gave it up. He lightened up just a bit for the last ten that had her bright pink and tender hearted. It was all he could do not to guide her over to the sinks and take her from behind! He would get what he wanted, eventually. He would have to work for it first! For now he’d settle for seeing her marks and watching her wince as her suit rode up and down at practice tomorrow!

Rachael couldn’t believe how she felt about Mark now. Protected and his. She could feel the heavy wetness on the bottom of her thong that made her wish he’d do her right there on the couch. Her ass was so hot and it made her totally want him inside her. She had never felt like this before and was wishing she could use his handkerchief to wipe herself because her thong was never going to absorb all that moisture. Her thin dress would give her away and she felt more panic knowing Mark would see her wet than Mark seeing her ass! She felt this when shifting on his thighs hoping he’d get the hint it was time to let her up. He had to see how wet she was! She couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t letting her up. She just laid there unable to do anything but wait on his next move. His right hand was heavy and hot pressed into the small of her back. His left hand was comforting holding her in place on her left shoulder. It was then that she caught just a glimpse of an unexpected freedom. And she felt content for the first time in a long time. Her peaceful sighs were comfort and contrast to the sexually charged moment. Both wondered how they could resist one another tomorrow.


Kaylynn, once again you have out done yourself! Your writing continues to amaze me and I thank you so much for sharing with all of us.

I love hosting Fantasy Friday – it allows me to meet and get to know so many people but I am not getting many stories. At this moment the cupboard is bare and I am just hoping there are some of you out there that are writing. Fantasy Friday is up to all of you. Please send any stories to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Gradituesday and a trip update

A short graditude Tuesday this week

Trip, Travel, Twin, all the wonderful thing I'm experiencing this week.

So for a quick update:
The grandbaby is the most beautiful grandchild I have ever seen! She smiles, she coos, she sings, she plays with her toys, she is nearly turning over. She is amazing!! Mollie is in 7th heaven playing with her as often as her parents will allow. She love her grammy and pappy and watches every move they make. I can promise you this child will NEVER lack for attention!!

We had lunch with Kaylynn today. Now that was a blast! She is beautiful, funny, interesting... fits right in with the rest of us out here in blogland! LOL! We really, really enjoyed talking with her and I don't think we even scared her once we actually met. Although I would imagine she had to be a little nervous on her way to meet us. I mean we aren't we the 'strangers on the internet' you are always warned about?? We talked of kids, husbands, blogs, spanking and sex (just a little really), Fantasy Friday, our blogger friends, how Eva and I met, how we all met our husbands, Cassie, menopause, religion, how our husbands felt about us all meeting, vacations, how and why Eva and I started blogging and just about anything else that crossed our minds. It was quite a day and I really hope we can get together again sometime.

Now for the diet update, let me put it this way...

Sunday night - ribs, pasta salad, baked beans fruit, slaw, peanut butter delight, and lemon/rasberry pie.

Monday breakfast - bagles, creamcheese, banana bread
Monday lunch - Ate out with Kaylynn with no husbands to watch what we ordered
Monday supper - shrimp scampi, spinach and strawberry salad, carmel/mocca coffee and more deserts and chips.

On the menu:

Tuesday breakfast - waffles and fruit
Tuesday lunch - Quesadillas, chips and salsa
Tuesday supper - hobos and corn

Wednesday breakfast - Blueberry pancakes and sausage
Wednesday lunch - fruit, cheese and crackers
Wednesday supper - fish, potatoes, veggies (not sure why) slaw and biscuits

need I say more?

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Road trip and some advice

I plan on being on the road to see Eva by the time most of you are reading this. This will be a very special trip. It’s always special to see Eva and Adam. Eva’s cooking… well a cooking contest between Eva and my MIL would be something to witness and I want to be one of the judges!!

But this trip is even more special! We get to meet the grandbaby!! We get to see her and hold her and play with her. I hope her mom isn’t planning to get any time with her this week – this baby is all booked up between Eva, Mollie and me.

And as icing on the cake is the lunch we have planned where we are getting to meet KayLynn. I only know her through her fantastic Fantasy Friday stories and our emails so I am really excited about a face to face meeting. I'll be posting about it next week!

But I also had something I wanted to post today. A have recently reconnected with a friend who writes the blog Cultivated Discipline. At this point in her life she is anxious to explore her spanko side but hasn’t found the man she is looking for. We have talk some and she has shared with me, as she has on her site, that some guys she has talked with on spanko and D/s web sites are not, in real life, the way they portray themselves to her in conversations.

As we talked about it in an email this was what I told her about looking for someone to care about and bring into your life. She said I could share the email here. I think it’s really pretty good advice for anyone out there looking for a relationship.

I think you need to quit looking specifically for a spanko and instead look for a man who is kind, stable, and makes you laugh and feel safe. Spankos are wonderful! But don’t limit yourself to dom/sub sites or chat rooms. Although there are many wonderful men on these sites (several of my friends have met in this way and are happily married to each other now) but you really do run a greater risk of finding nuts who only want to dominate. These men don’t really want to be an HOH – a guide – a protector, they are essentially bullies.

So just look for a nice guy. When you begin to grow close tell him you have a secret that is important to you but that you don’t share this with just anyone. Then tell him what you need, want, desire. If he is a true vanilla begin by telling him it is a real turn on. If you feel he is receptive to this idea you can explain more (maybe a little at a time). Explain that you want someone who will step up and be the leader in a family and that the idea of discipline makes you feel safe and loved.

This is really what many of us have had to do. In my situation Nick hasn’t come around to the dd concept – there isn’t much discipline but it’s a fantastic partnership. If Nick said tomorrow that he was through – no more spanking I would be hurt and sorely disappointed, but the marriage would continue. It boils down to this – I would rather be with the right man and not have this need met that to be with the wrong man who spanks. And this comes from a lifelong, hard wired spanko.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Fantasy Friday - My way or the highway

It’s Friday, schools out for summer! I have to finish out today and then FREEDOM!!! Tomorrow I pack and Sunday we head to Eva’s. I think Mollie and I are equally excited about seeing the grandbaby. We get to meet Kaylynn – it’s just promises to be a wonderful trip.

We have another wonderful Fantasy Friday today. This is from an author we have heard from before but not in a while. There is a brat on the loose and you can read all about it!

For now, enjoy…

My way or the highway

Kathleen rolled her eyes as her family began yet another ‘intervention’. She wondered how long this would take. She was bored and needed something interesting to do. She loved her family, really she did. Her parents had died in a plane crash when she was only three months old and she had been reared by wealthy, loving, permissive grandparents who had spoiled her rotten. She had a pony by age three, her own credit card by the age of ten and two cars to call her own before she was old enough to drive.

But by the time she was seventeen she had become bored with her life in a gilded cage and was eager for adventures of her own. The first time she had taken off for a few days without telling anyone the family had freaked! When she had returned in three days – OMG! It had been like attending her own funeral! Her grandparents, her two aunts and uncles had all told her how worried they had been, how much she was loved and missed – over and over again. This was fun!!

Over the next few years she had tried it a few more times with similar good results. The family tried to explain the dangers of her activities. Actually there had been one down side. Her grandfather had hired a bodyguard. Kathleen found this both annoying and challenging. Bernard Guess was the first one and Kathleen despised the fat, pasty man from the moment she saw him. She delighted in slipping away from him to make him look foolish to grandfather. His replacement was somewhat different. Luke Rains was hot as hell for one thing. And while getting away from Bernard had been ridiculously easy Luke – or Mr. Rains as he told her to call him made the game much harder. The man seemed to have eyes in the back of his head and ESP to boot.

The first time she actually managed an escape was a spur of the moment plan. She was dining with friends as Rains watched hawk-like from the bar. As she headed to the rest room he leaped to his feet to follow.

“Down boy” she growled “I’ve been peeing by myself for ages!”

Until that encounter she had had no intentions of sneaking off but spying the kitchen door on her way to the john, she impulsively slipped in – startling the workers – and walked casually out the back door. She hailed a cab on the next block and she was off! She couldn’t stop laughing as she imagined his panic and his anger and the way the veins stood out in his neck when he was really pissed.

She had to admit she was impressed when he found her barely 4 hours later in a bar she rarely frequented. Kathleen watched him as he came in and talked to several people before approaching the bartender. She continued to watch as the bartender shrugged and pointed to where she was perched on bar stool. When their eyes met Kathleen burst out laughing and was doubled over with glee as he approached.

Rains looked furious. Geeze, this guy needed to chill! She never had really liked serious people. But seeing the look of controlled fury in his face caused her laughter to trail off.

“Oh lighten up Rains. You won this round – I’ll do better next time.”

“There better not be a next time!” Rains muttered as he grabbed her upper arm and proceeded to march her to the door. This was too much – she had never been manhandled before. She tried to jerk her arm away only to have him whisper in her ear “Be still or be sorry.”

Kathleen was thrown off by this encounter. She allowed him to propel her toward the car until she suddenly stopped and sputtered “Get your damn hands off me! Your ass is so fired!”

Rains said nothing, nor did he loosen his grip. As they reached the car he yanked open the door.

“Get in” he growled.

That was it! “You fucking ass hole!” she screamed. “I said you're fired! Don’t give me orders!”

Rains pulled on his last bit of self control to keep his temper with this spoiled, arrogant brat. Leaning down inches from her face and said,

“I don’t work for you and you can’t fire me. Now if you don’t get your ass in the car right now I’m going to bend you over the hood of this car and whip that ass until my arm gets tired. Comprenda?

Kathleen gave a small gasp of disbelief. Sensing the shift in dynamic she lowered herself into the car. As Rains reached over to firmly fasten her seat belt she became aware of his scent, his strength, his good looks. But her anger at his treatment of her caused her to dismiss all these things.

They rode in silence until they were almost home. Then making an effort to control his still burning anger he spoke to her.

“Your grandfather hired me to keep you safe and out of trouble. I took that job and I’m going to do it. Do you understand me?”

‘Do you und…?’ Who the hell was this guy? Several angry retorts sprang to her mind but she could wait until she got to the safety of her family. This manic looked mad enough to carry through on his threats.

Rains had barely stopped the car at the estate when Kathleen was out of the car, in the house and up the stairs shouting for her grandfather.

Rains wasn’t far behind – “You little idiot! It’s three-thirty in the morning!”

“Grandfather” she shouted again, “help me!”

Rains followed her to the top of the stairs and stopped as her frightened grandparents rushed into the hall.

“It’s him!” Kathleen said pointing dramatically at Rains. “He grabbed me, forced me into the car, threatened to hit me and called me an idiot! Fire him, fire him now!!”

He grandfather cooed and comforted her. Kathleen managed a few tears in his arms. Looking at Rains he said “Young man, bullying and threatening my granddaughter is not what I hired you for!”

“Wait Richard,” Kathleen’s grandmother interjected “Let’s hear what the man has to say.”

Kathleen tried to hide her annoyance. Grandmother had never been the complete softy grandfather was. Rains walked slowly down the hall toward them.

“Well I believe everything she said was true. She ducked out through the kitchen at the restaurant to ditch me. She wandered the streets alone until she got a cab. When I found her she had bribed a bartender into serving her even thought she isn’t quite 21 yet. She bribed him with a hundred dollar bill as she flashed a wad of cash to all the bar flies in the area. I grabbed her arm and told her to get in the car or I would spank her butt and I called her an idiot for waking you up with this mess in the middle of the night.”

Rains folded his arms and went on “Fire me if you want to but I’m telling you it is only a matter of time before your granddaughter is robbed, kidnapped, raped or murdered. I can keep those things from happening but I’ll have to do it my way. It’s up to you.”

Grandfather held her tight and said nothing.

“Fire him!” Kathleen repeated “I don’t want him around me!”

“No one is getting fired tonight” Grandmother spoke, “Everyone is going to bed – now!”


The battle lines had been drawn. Grandfather had been frightened by Rains predictions and wouldn’t fire him. Kathleen definitely felt like the loser in this power struggle. The man was everywhere and he seemed to have ESP. He didn’t exactly stop her from going places but picking up men and sneaking a drink wasn’t easy with you had your own personal guard dog on your trail.

It was time to bring out the big guns. She knew if she ran away they would do anything she wanted to appease her. With the help of a well bribed chauffeur she left in the trunk of Grandfather’s car.

It was three full days before she called home. As expected everyone was frantic. Kathleen had only one demand – get rid of Rains and then she would come home.

“It’s already done” her grandfather assured her “I knew he had to be the reason you left. I fired him that day. Please come home honey, we are so worried. We love you!”

Score! Kathleen thought without a trace of guilt over her manipulation. She returned home that afternoon to a warm welcome. Everyone was there – her grandparents and both aunts and uncles were eager to tell her how worried they had been. Grandfather was even promising her a trip to Greece if she promised never to leave like that again.

So here Kathleen sat becoming slightly bored as she listened to another ‘intervention’ as each explained how her running off scared them so badly and what danger she was risking and how much she was loved. She loved them too but finally sighed and rolled her eyes as they continued ‘Blah, blah, blah’. She’d heard it all before.

A deep voice cut across the room.

“I can’t listen to any more of this!” Boredom was quickly driven away as Rains stalked into the room.

“But, but…” Kathleen looked to her grandfather as she tried to shrink back into the chair as a means of escape. “You said you’d fired him!”

“I did” said Grandfather looking equally confused.

“Yes you did and I hired him back” Grandmother stated calmly. “He and I had an informative talk after you let him go and I felt that for Kathleen’s true safety and well being he is the man I want for her bodyguard.”

Now Mr. Rains, I believe there was something you had to say to my granddaughter.”

Rains addressed himself to Kathleen as if she was the only one in the room “Will you look at these people – all of whom have better things to do than to sit here pleading and begging you to simply behave as an adult. You run off for the sole purpose of worrying them. You want them to fawn all over you – promise you gifts and perks just to get you to return to a loving family that does not deserve your manipulation. You are the epitome of a spoiled brat and you need your butt spanked and have needed that for some time!”

Where was everyone?! Were they just going to sit there and allow this man to berate her as if she were a child? Why wasn’t anyone defending her? And why was Grandmother sitting there nodding!?

Kathleen leaped to her feet! “Who do you think you are? I want you out of this house this instant! How dare you speak to me in that manner?”

“I plan to do a lot more than speak. I don’t make idle threats.” And without further warning Kathleen felt her wrist grabbed and she was quickly pulled to a straight back chair and in an instant she was over Rains lap.

This could not be happening! But it was. Her thin sundress offered no protection as his hard hand fell on her upturned bottom.

“Oooowwwww!” Kathleen yelled lustily. “Damn! That hurts!!”

How long did it take three grown men to race across the room to her rescue? As Rains continued the unrelenting assault on her tender bottom Kathleen was not suffering her fate in silence. Jerking her head up she looked toward her family screaming “Stop him!”

What she saw in that brief instance caused her heart to fail. At her cries she saw her grandfather and both uncles stirred as if to come to her aid. But simultaneously she saw her grandmother and both aunts lay a gently restraining hand on their husbands.

Realizing that she was truly on her own Kathleen cut loose.

“You bastard! You son-of-a-bitch!! Stop – stop, owww!” The hand only came harder and faster. She couldn’t take it. She tried to throw herself off his lap only to have him pull her firmly back. Her hand flew back to ward off the blows. It was quickly captured and held to the small of her back.

Only when she finally went limp and began sobbing “Please, stop. Stop, I won’t do it again!” did Rains pause. She lay across his lap sobbing as he still held her firmly. As her cries turned to sniffles he helped her to her feet. He handed her a handkerchief from his pocket.

Now he spoke to her quietly “Are you in pain?”

“Yes!” she answered rubbing fiercely at her bottom.

“Look at them”, Rains said pointing at her family. “They were in pain for three days while you were gone. It hurt every minute that they didn’t know where you were. How would you have liked that spanking to have lasted for 3 days?” Looking at her family Kathleen saw that grandfather had tears in his eyes.

It was all too much “I’m sorry” she sobbed. Rains reached out and pulled her two him. He gently rubbed her back as she cried and told her everything was going to be alright. Her feelings were so confused. She wanted to hate him for what he had just put her through but now being held in his arms was one of the best feelings she could remember.

Grandmother was getting to her feet. “Well goodness we all have things we need to get back to. Mr. Rains we will leave our granddaughter’s safety in your capable hands” and with that the family drifted away.

Kathleen felt a little awkward with Rains. He lead her to the sofa where she sat only to gasp with pain as she did. That damn spanking had hurt! And it was likely to for a while longer. Rains was saying,

“Look I want you to know that you haven’t lost your freedom. All you’ve lost is the right to put yourself in ridiculous, unnecessary danger. We need to do some talking so we will completely understand each other. Why don’t you go throw on a pair of jeans and show me around the grounds.”

Talking didn’t seem like such a bad idea. Kathleen headed upstairs to change. She still had conflicting emotions – but this man had her interest.

“Or we could go for a horse back ride.” He suggested.

Each step made her acutely aware of how much her butt was hurting. Kathleen whirled around in anger at the suggestion.

“But you just … I mean, I … horseback riding…?”

“Oh forget it then” Rains laughed. "That walk will be alright."

She hadn’t heard him laugh before. His teasing evaporated her quick anger and as she headed off to change she realized her boredom had evaporated as well. Actually Kathleen was beginning to realize the boredom might well be a thing of the past.


I hope everyone enjoyed our story this week. Our author? None other than little ‘ol me! See I can’t get enough of you good folks to write for me so I am forced to do it myself. LOL! I like writing but I really enjoy reading what all of you send in much more. So I do hope you liked this story but even more I hope you are writing one yourself and that you will send it in for a Fantasy Friday. Send stories to elisspeaks@yahoo.com I’ll be traveling most of this week but I’ll be checking in whenever I can. Don’t forget me!