What happens when the spanking stops?

I’m not talking about an individual spanking; I’m talking about the lifestyle. I have dreamed and fantasied about the spanking lifestyle since about the age of three. For most of my life it was just my secret and I enjoyed it privately in my own head.

I was amazed and incredibly happy when I actually got the chance to experience it in real life! Honestly, I was over the moon. It was like I fell in love with my husband all over again. We became so very close. I began blogging and met some amazing friends here. With a few major mistakes at the beginning, I began my writing career and it brings me great joy. Blogging about spanking and of course spanking itself made my life so much better. And I be forever grateful.

 

But what happens when it all stops? Of course, it was a gradual stop, but it stopped. There were a few retries and startups that last year. There probably would have been more. But I couldn’t take the emotional strain. Nick was never a true spanko. He tried his best, he really did. And I thank him greatly for his effort, but it’s gone from my life now. It’s gone from my brain. The desire is gone and I’m not trying to get it back. But sadly, it’s taken some of our closeness with it. We’re way better than before, but not as good as we were. If it weren’t for Cassie I have the feeling I would wither a little. Writing her still gives me joy and a connection to the spanking world. 

 

I still want this to be a spanking blog, I feel bad when I go forever with no posts on topic. But it’s not there and this isn’t where I write fiction. I know I should probably give up the blog – it feels like a bait and switch these days. But I still like posting about … whatever. And I don’t guess that’s hurting anyone. My archives are full of great spanking content – go back if you get bored and take a look.

 

I know some of my readers well. I could write what they’re thinking right now. It would be some form of, “Talk to Nick! Tell him how you feel, discuss it and see what happens.” And to that I would say, “You are good friends and very wise. But it’s not going to happen.”

Those Millennials are messing me up

Times, they are a changin’. If you’ve been reading here for long you might remember that I host our family reunion every year. I’ve hosted it all but two years in the past thirty-eight. One year we went somewhere else and in 2020… well, you know all about that. We held it last year and I sighed with relief that the break hadn’t ended it. But we’re not having it this year and I’m blaming the millennials.

 

Despite great physical distances, our family is close. We usually have people come from Ohio, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Georgia and often California. Nearly all the attendees are of my generation. Most driver, except the Californians, so for many it’s a long drive. Now we come to the millennials.

 

They’re getting married and messing up the reunion. The reunion is usually the first weekend of August.  We have one wedding scheduled near the end of September and another the second week of October. None in my generation want to miss a big family wedding and asking them to drive to NC three times in three months just seemed a little excessive.

We’re skipping the reunion at our house, but all is not lost. The wonderful trip to the lake that we do after the reunion is still on! That for the few of us who live close. That lake house is magical for me and the inside sitting for Cassie’s house, so I really enjoy going. 

 

Next year, who knows? Nick’s fine with all this except he’s missed the chance to have me clean the whole house at once this year. That’s the part I’m really happy about.

*update: Collin's leg is healing well. Still painful and there is some swelling, but it's improving. No new information on the job front.

It's going to get worse

 This isn't meant to be funny. 

This is the damn world we women are living in.

Here's where we are

Finally, we’re on the road to recovery. After much pain, frustration, and aggravation Collin’s surgery was scheduled for 3:30 this past Friday. They finally took him back at 3:50, LJ went back to the apartment – it’s only about a fifteen minute walk from the hospital. They told him the surgery would take about two to three hours (I would have stayed at the hospital, but he's a boy.)

He went back at 6:30PM and was told that Collin had just gone into surgery. He was out of surgery a little after nine and they sent him home at 12:30 AM. Seriously? I asked LJ if they took a cab or had the hospital suggested he just hop home. I’m sure they did a great job on the repair, but I haven’t been overly impressed with the hospital system. They’ll go back next Friday for a recheck.

 

On to the job situation. LJ applied to a museum as director of guest management. This is one of his favorite museums. He took us there the last time we visited. He said the interview went very well. The people seemed to be a happy and pleasant bunch and, unlike his previous two workplaces, it’s inside. It’s air conditioned and it closes at 6:00PM rather than the wee hours of the morning. He would be expected to work forty hours a week rather than the sixty-five to seventy hours per week that he worked at the last place. They also knew about his husband having surgery and they said they would work with him on a starting date and when he would need to be away for Collins appointments.

 

They called him back for a second interview and they offered him the job and he accepted. Woopie! And that should be the end of it. Not quite. He already had another interview scheduled – something to do with the port authority. That interview is today. I know very little about what the job would involve. But LJ says it’s something he’s sure he could learn. Now the problem. The museum pay is much less than what his last job paid. The port authority would probably pay much more. I’m dying to say, “Forget the money! Take the job you want and feel that you would enjoy!” But we’re talking about a $20,000 a year difference. He lives in one of the most expensive places in the world. Collin won’t be working for a while. I can see his problem.

 

I told him my thoughts were really torn. Of course, I want him to be offered every job he applies for, but at the same time I want him at the museum for a while for his emotional well-being. He’ll decide what’s best for them. Although he accepted the museum job, if the other comes through with a significant pay increase, he says he’ll probably have to go with that one.

 

All I can say is that I hope this all goes the way it’s supposed to.

 

UPDATE

*Short update - they still haven't done Collin's surgery. I'm about ready to go up there and whip some butts myself. Wrangling with the insurance company is the problem. But at this moment it's scheduled for Friday. Please pray that it will happen. Things are looking up on the job front for LJ so that's good news. I just want that leg fixed and maybe then I can stop worrying for ten minutes, maybe.

Flowers, fractures and friends

Here's what I've been working on at home. I'm trying to brighten up the place a little. 

Meanwhile, my mind is really on this. Collin's surgery is tomorrow morning.

But tell me - how did he break one bone near his knee and the other one near his ankle? Here's what Collin had to say about his accident.

Still thinking about the two guys who magically appeared when I fell down those subway stairs. They basically stopped their own mornings to help a fellow New Yorker in need. One of them called 911 while the other continued to divert the herds of rush hour commuters around a complete stranger who needed help and could not move. They stayed with me for over half an hour until the EMTs arrived. Then as quickly as they’d appeared, they were gone.

I’m kind of amazed, but not really. That’s just how we do it here.

Thanks to everyone who has showered me with sympathy, well wishes, and offers to help however you can. It reminds me of what real community is. It’s been very uncomfortable the past couple days, but I’m determined to heal and get back to life very soon.

The hits keep coming

LJ and Collin aren’t having the best month. I wrote here about LJ losing his job unexpectedly. Although he talked with a lawyer for about a minute – the fact that the least expensive lawyer he contacted was $500 an hour made it too much money to risk for a dubious return. He decided to let it go.

 

Unfortunately, things got worse today. Collin fell going down the subway steps and broke his leg – tibia and fibula both. He’ll have to have a bone pinned next week and physical therapy after that. NYC is not the place to be on crutches. 

He won’t be able to work for a while. And now that LJ doesn’t have a job, they don’t have insurance. This just happened yesterday so of course they are looking to see it they may have insurance since he was just dismissed seventeen days ago – are they still covered for a full month? They are looking into Cobra although the expense is excessive.  

 

I’m worried about my boys – finically, emotionally, and now physically. I have no doubt that they’ll do fine eventually. Collin will heal, LJ will get a job, but until then, mama’s going to worry.

I wonder if Dad was right

I know they call it the happiest place on earth. I think my dad believed that and I’m pretty sure both my kids would agree. Mollie already has a trip planned for this summer. I agree in part. I love to visit Disney World, I even got to go to Disneyland as a kid. Disney’s great. But it’s not my favorite place to vacation.

Disney World is a lot closer for me – but it’s very hot and very crowded. I hope to go again, but it won’t be a yearly thing like Mollie. I saw some fun Disney facts today I thought I’d share.

 

·      There is a jail on the property for unruly visitors.

 

·      Walt Disney decided on trashcan placements by purchasing a hotdog and eating it as he walked. When he got finished, he said, “Here’s a good spot for a trashcan” and all the cans are approximately that far apart.

·      They overestimate the expected wait time for each ride, so you feel like you’re ahead of the game.

 

·      Don’t try to leave cremated ashes there – they will just be swept up and thrown away and you’ll get a lifetime ban.

·      They use liquid garlic to keep mosquitos away – just under the amount where we would smell it, but the mosquitos can.

 

·      Each evening after the guest leave, a large group of cats are released in the park to keep down the vermin population. They didn’t say how they got then all to come back in.

·      Images of Micky are hidden everywhere on the property.

 

My dad really did love the place and one of the things he wondered about was, in a few thousand years archaeologist dig up Disney World, what would they decide it was? A village, no real homes there. A school, possibly, still no places for students to live. Would they guess that it was strictly for amusement, entertainment? I’m sure it would make them curious.

 

But I do remember one thing Dad use to say, “When they find the place it’s going to confuse them. And there is only one thing that they’ll know for sure - that society definitely worshiped mice.”

 

 

Hoping for many, many more.

 

This is a special weekend for us. We’re celebrating our thirty-ninth wedding anniversary. With two years of dating beforehand we’ve been together over forty years. Not bad for this day and age. We have a good marriage and I love this man very much. 

Although we don't pay much attention to presents, several years ago, I mentioned to Nick that I would like a new wedding band. We picked out my first one when I was twenty-six. I loved it at the time, and I've wore it since out wedding day. It’s only been off for surgeries. 

But my tastes have changed over time and I asked for a new for our thirty-fifth. Nick was all for it, but I had to find what I wanted.

 

Hmm… what did I want? I didn’t really know. Lots of my friends were getting big flashy diamonds. They were truly beautiful, but they just weren’t me. 

I didn’t look hard, but sometimes if I was passing by a jewelry store, I’d pop in. Nothing struck my fancy. Everything seemed too… big. I wanted something with a low profile, beautiful, but simple.

 

Year thirty-five came and went, as did years thirty-six and thirty-seven, still nothing. For a while I looked at something like this. 

I liked the simplicity, but I couldn’t decide and I kept looking. Then this year, coming up on thirty-nine, I saw it. We have a family in our church with a jewelry store. Their daughter, about Mollie’s age, is in charge of their FB page and she had showcased the ring. I had to go in and see it for myself. It was even more lovely in person. But the price made me pause. It really wasn’t a crazy amount but I’m someone who has rarely in my life spent more than $20 on a piece of jewelry. I just wasn’t sure.

 

I talked to Mollie about it and I liked what she said. “Okay, think about it Mom. You’ll probably be gone in forty or fifty years, (being sixty-five I feel she is being a bit optimistic, but whatever.) When you go you can leave a slightly fatter bank account, or you can leave a ring that you love and have worn for years to your favorite daughter.” I kind of like the way the girl thinks.

 

When I repeated this to Nick, his comment was, “I bet she secretly works on commission.”

 

I now have a new wedding band – exactly what I wanted - delicate, sparkly, simple yet beautiful. What do you think?

My PSA for the day

I had an interesting Tuesday, mostly good with a small problem thrown in. Nick came home around one-thirty and headed to the golf course. When he finished there, he suggested we head up the mountain to our favorite spot by the lake. The weather was perfect! We put our chairs out by the water and read a while. After leaving home with the temp at 88 degrees, we found it very pleasant up there at 69.

 

After a while we heading to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants with nice outdoor seating. That’s when the problem occurred. I hopped out of the car wearing my flip-flop type sandals and I think I stepped on one sandal with the other one and down I went. Falling is not a fun feeling at my age. I know I scared Nick more than I did myself. There seemed to be several things happening at once. I was trying to figure out if I was hurt and Nick was trying to get me up. I told Nick to wait a moment as I assessed. I was extremely lucky. There was a little scrape on my knee, another one lower on my calf and a scrub of skin off my palm. There wasn’t even any blood. I could have easily broken an arm or wrist in this type fall, and I give credit to the calcium pills I take daily.

 

In the middle of all this I found out again just how helpful my iwatch is. I have posted about it before, but this watch does a lot – tells time, helps me find my phone, keeps track of my exercise, gives me the outside temperature, is a flashlight and sets an alarm for when I need to take my meds. It also can call 911 at the push of a button, keeps up with my heart rate, checks my blood oxygen and alerts if I’m experiencing A-fib. And Tuesday night, seconds after I fell up on the screen pops up.

If I hadn’t responded it would have notified Nick and Mollie and called an emergency services, giving them my location. Five minutes later it asked again if I was okay. Let’s just say I am a big proponent of the iwatch. Although I wasn’t hurt, I’m not sure I could have gotten back on my feet on my own, so it’s giving me a little more comfort just in case there is another accident. 

 

I feel like everyone need one if possible, you, your parents who aren't getting any younger and even your grown children who might live alone. Between calling 911 with one touch to letting someone know if you crash on your bike in remote location I really think it’s worth it.

I didn't see this coming

It all began with a phone call from LJ. He’s been very unhappy with his job. This was a job he sought with great enthusiasm a couple of years ago and he was so very happy to get it. But sadly, it didn’t work out as he’d hoped. It began well enough, but once the park was up and going every department’s budget was slashed nearly in half and LJ has struggled to make it work. But he no longer had the funds to hire enough people to make the park run smoothly and safely.  

His supervisor will not take any of LJ suggestion or acknowledge the boys experience in running a raised park. After giving it much thought my boys began a job search, feeling he just couldn’t stay on past this summer if things didn’t change.

 

Last week he and his supervisor got into a verbal argument. The man was saying, “It looks to me like you have plenty of people out here to do the job. 

 

LJ explained that yes he did, but that several would soon be taking their breaks and he would be very short handed.  

 

Supervisor: Why do they have to take breaks?

 

Probably after giving him an incredulous look, LJ answered.

 

LJ: Because they need breaks after standing in the freezing cold, or the hot sun. Because it’s written in our policy handbook and because legally, we are required to give them breaks.

 

They went back and forth a bit, the supervisor saying they didn’t really need breaks and they should be cut out and LJ trying to protect his team and adhere to their policies and the law. Finally, LJ walked away. Later that same day people from LJ's staff came to him to tell him the supervisor was talking to others saying unkind and false thing about LJ.

 

At that point LJ contacted human resources and asked for a meeting for this past Monday. Monday morning came and HR requested that the meeting be moved to Tuesday afternoon. LJ said fine. Tuesday morning, before the scheduled meeting, LJ was called to the supervisor’s office and fired.

WHAT?

 

LJ’s never been fired from any job before. At The High Line he was promoted five times in ten years. He's pretty much in shock. He definitely wanted to leave, but he planned to have a job first. NYC is not a place you can live without a job.

 

Because this all seems a little shady – 

 

·      boss asked you to do something illegal

·      you refuse and ask to speak with HR

·      before you can have that meeting you’re fired

LJ is talking with a lawyer. He’s not interested in suing for millions, but he was given one month’s severance and he feel four months would be fair. We are not the 'suing people' type and lawyers are foreign to us. But I think he will try to get the lawyer to put all of this into a letter to the company showing them how it looks and perhaps they will be fair.

 

LJ told me about all this on Saturday, he said, “Sorry Mom, I would have told you sooner but it happened on the same day at the school shooting and I didn’t want to throw any more on you.”

I will take any good thoughts or prayers that you might have for him to find a good job soon. At least they are not paying rent at the moment. You can read about that here. The owner has done nothing and they are still paying no rent.

The great dryer debate

It appears that our dryer is on its last leg. It runs but doesn’t heat up and dry the clothes. Mollie was here when we noticed the problem and the debate was on. Mollie began pointing out that there were so many new, fancy, efficient washers and dryers these days. I have to agree, some are just beautiful.

 

Nick tends to go for used washers and dryers. Something a little more like this.

Mollie’s main points were the overall aesthetics and the increased efficiency of a new appliance. Nick’s points were the fact that our washer and dryer resides in a basement and that no one ever sees them.  The used dryers he’s gotten over the years are efficient enough to suit him fine and cost a fraction of what a new one would. He pointed out to get them to match and look beautiful, we would have to get a new washer too. Strangely, Mollie hadn’t offered to pay for either.

 

So where was I in this great laundry debate?

 

I was hole up in my writing room trying to ignore them both. This is not my debate. The truth is I probably haven’t done a load of laundry in twenty years. I stopped when LJ was about fourteen. My theory was I bought his clothes, Nick and I paid for the washer and dryer to keep them clean. We also paid for the water and detergent. So why should I run my butt up and down the stairs when I had a fourteen-year-old to do it. Now some would be horrified at a kid doing their laundry, but the truth is my clothes aren’t that fancy and I’m not that picky.

 

LJ held this job until he went to college and them Mollie took over until she left home. By that time my knees were giving me trouble. I could go up and down the stairs, still can. But I go slowly and I never know when a knee could give a severe sharp pain or decide not to hold me up. I like to hang on to the rail and that’s tough carrying a load of laundry. The laundry job then fell to Nick and he never seemed to mind.

 

When he can no longer run up and down the stairs easily, I guess the job will go back to Mollie if she can pop over once a week or so. She is then welcome to purchase any washer and dryer she’d like to use over here. But for now we’ll stick with used. 

Not as good on Sunday

I had had such a good time on Saturday, but then on Sunday it felt a little different. After the book signing and the news article, everyone seemed happy for me - Nick was happy for me, both kids were excited for me as well as my sister. My minister left a lovely comment on FB, many of my friends from church and even former principals I'd worked with had nice things to say. Including the principal I didn't really like. I had comments and likes from blogging friends too. But from my in-laws not a peep. As for the two SIL that were at lunch Sunday – crickets. I asked one if she got the paper. Her reply was, “Yeah, I saw it.” The other quickly said, “I don’t get the paper.” I knew they had discussed it.

 

What is their problem? How much does it take out of a person to say, “That’s nice.” Or “Congratulation.” But there was no way in hell they would say that. Are they just such damn prudes? I’m not asking them to read them… just, I don’t know… something.

 

I want to say I don’t care, but obviously I do, or I wouldn’t be writing about it here. I guess this all still goes back to the day I told them LJ and Collin were getting married and their total response was, “Oh.” I know I need to get over this, I’m just not sure how to do it.