I’m not talking about an individual spanking; I’m talking about the lifestyle. I have dreamed and fantasied about the spanking lifestyle since about the age of three. For most of my life it was just my secret and I enjoyed it privately in my own head.
I was amazed and incredibly happy when I actually got the chance to experience it in real life! Honestly, I was over the moon. It was like I fell in love with my husband all over again. We became so very close. I began blogging and met some amazing friends here. With a few major mistakes at the beginning, I began my writing career and it brings me great joy. Blogging about spanking and of course spanking itself made my life so much better. And I be forever grateful.
But what happens when it all stops? Of course, it was a gradual stop, but it stopped. There were a few retries and startups that last year. There probably would have been more. But I couldn’t take the emotional strain. Nick was never a true spanko. He tried his best, he really did. And I thank him greatly for his effort, but it’s gone from my life now. It’s gone from my brain. The desire is gone and I’m not trying to get it back. But sadly, it’s taken some of our closeness with it. We’re way better than before, but not as good as we were. If it weren’t for Cassie I have the feeling I would wither a little. Writing her still gives me joy and a connection to the spanking world.
I still want this to be a spanking blog, I feel bad when I go forever with no posts on topic. But it’s not there and this isn’t where I write fiction. I know I should probably give up the blog – it feels like a bait and switch these days. But I still like posting about … whatever. And I don’t guess that’s hurting anyone. My archives are full of great spanking content – go back if you get bored and take a look.
I know some of my readers well. I could write what they’re thinking right now. It would be some form of, “Talk to Nick! Tell him how you feel, discuss it and see what happens.” And to that I would say, “You are good friends and very wise. But it’s not going to happen.”
Hi PK, I'm sorry things are not where you want them to be. I'm not going to tell you to talk to Nick, you know what is best on that front.
ReplyDeleteAs you know, spanking is rare here nowdays. I can relate to losing some of that closeness. Many of the benefits we gained from ttwd remain and we are in a good place but we are not quite as close.
The friendships here go way beyond the kink. I enjoy reading about other aspects of blog friends lives. I'm so glad you continue to blog here :)
Hugs
Roz
Your second paragraph is so true. I'm very happy we spent some time doing this. I'm grateful for the benefits even if they didn't all stay around.
DeletePk, I feel this. I'll leave it at that.
ReplyDeleteGood thing we're all made up of more than our butts... I'm more than happy to get a peek into your life, kinky or not. Definitely keep writing here.
Thanks Penelope, I tried stopping for a while and I really missed it. I'm staying as long as it makes me happy.
DeleteAs a longtime lurker my recommendation is to post when and what you want. Many of your longtime readers will continue to click on the link when it comes up at Bonnie's and read what you have to say, spanking-related or vanilla. Whether or not you are done with blogging entirely is up to you but I wouldn't worry about anyone else's expectations of content or change in blog direction.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate what you've said. I want to keep blogging for the outlet it give me and the ability to keep in touch with spankers. Thanks for reading, please stop by and speak anytime.
DeleteIt's difficult to let go of things, especially something that once met so much. Perhaps blogging here is a way to keep part of you alive in an area you feel you need to let go of. No doubt ttwd blogging has changed tremendously since you first started out- I think many bloggers just ended up fading away without even realizing it, much like your many attempts to resurrect your D/d dynamic
ReplyDeleteBlogging has changed dramatically as you said. Many, many of my blogging friends have dropped by the wayside. Fortunately I'm still friends with many of them anyway. Many of them have given up TTWD - but no all. I love know that some are still participating.
DeleteSorry things aren't what you would like them to be.
ReplyDeleteI love to see you blog and love reading about your life and family. So keep writing for us.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
I enjoy writing here and I appreciate you coming to read. I'm happy with my life. Wish the spanking thing had worked out, but I'm still happy.
DeleteI am late to this, but for me your blog means so much, partly because it has often been a struggle for you. There are many of us with these longings, who haven't managed to have a long term spanking partnership. If all we read about is people for whom it is just a normal part of their everyday life, it can be a bit depressing! It's tough having those longings, and very few people to talk about it with. I wish it was different for you, but I'm glad you have stuck around and shared your struggles. And I am glad you still write, even when there is nothing related to spanking to talk about.
ReplyDeleteAlice x
Thanks, Alice. I guess it's like on FB when you only see beautiful pictures, you think your life isn't living up to others. I try to keep it real.
DeleteHi PK,
ReplyDeleteIt seems that most of the spanking blogs I visit have little to do with spanking. The bloggers have either reducers their time spent at the computer or just don't have much to say on the subject. But I still visit regularly because hey, they're friends, and still part of the spanko family. I love your blog, so keep on blogging and entertaining us.
Hugs,
Hermione
Blogging sure has changed over the years. I believe at first we were just all so thrilled to find a place to discuss spanking. So now we just happy to have friends to discuss many things.
DeletePK,
ReplyDeleteI get it. This is a topic that Randy and I have discussed a number of times. One day, we will enjoy our last spanking. It's coming, and maybe even soon, but we're still at it while we can.
Ironically, since we've been working from home, I receive more spankings rather than fewer. But the implements he selects and the intensity with which he applies them are milder than would have been the case ten or twenty years ago.
As with many aspects of life, I find we are winding down, not in a way that's perceptible from day to day, but gradually as the years roll by. I am grateful for all we have and all we had. When the spankings are gone, like you, I know I will miss them.
With all that said, are you sure you couldn't ask for a very special birthday present? :D
Hugs,
Bonnie
I'm so grateful I found blogs and the courage to come out and ask for what I wanted. All things in our lives come and go to some degree. I think all of us out here have been lucky at what spanking has brought into out lives, even if it doesn't go on forever.
DeleteMy birthday isn't until December. Who knows?