I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

You must be 18 to view this site.

Wednesday, March 31, 2021

I don’t like spanking *

* There is an explanation to this title. We’ve talked about how everyone in the TTWD  family is so very different. There are as many ways to do TTWD (this thing we do, basically spanking and such – for the newcomers) as there are people doing it. When Nick and I participate I’d say we’re pretty near the middle of the scale. I see the scale going from those who do a little light spanking during sex to heavy full on BDSM and everything that it can imply.

 

So after thinking about spanking all my life and writing a blog about it for over fourteen years, why on earth would I say I don’t like spanking? 


Because I don’t.



But let me tell you what I do like. I like the feeling of anticipation before a spanking. That sizzling butterfly feeling. The sexy emails we often send back and forth. A well worded ‘threat’ can enflame me.The wondering – is this going to be a light play session, a hard stress buster, a you will listen to me or an all-out rump roasting that you know you fully deserve.

 

I like wondering what he going to use? His hand, the light leather paddle, the heavy leather paddle, the wood paddle, the flogger or the cane (yikes!)

 

I like the fact that when he takes me to the bedroom I know that for the duration of our next little while I will be the sole focus of his attention. We will both be concentrating on one another and the rest of the world can go jump for a while. Not to mention the great sex that usually follows the spanking!

 

Then comes the spanking itself. Warm-ups are nice, tingling and stinging just enough to bring a rush of blood to some very interesting places. But then it steps up. Now I know that there are many out here who truly enjoy pain, hats off to you for knowing yourselves well. But that’s not me and I say that a firm wooden paddle, or a thick leather strap struck sharply against your ass HURTS! And when it’s repeated over and over it HURTS WORSE! I don’t like this!





 









My mind goes into a frenzy begging silently, Please stop! I can’t take anymore!  Only to be followed immediately by, Wait, is that all? when it’s over.

 

I forgot to mention one of Nick’s questions the other day and it was an important one too. During our in-spanking talk (as Windy called it) he asked if I ever dreamed of being sore or really feeling it the next day. Short answer – 

 

Oh, hell YES!

 

If I liked the anticipation before a spanking, I love the after effects. Any pain we can take with us from the spanking is proof – a continuing reminder of how much we’re loved. That my guy took time away from yard work, golf or watching sports to make TTWD real, to do something he knows I need in my life to keep me happy and balanced. He’s the only one who can do this for me. For me it’s proof of his love and caring. It may be the after-pain that I love the most about TTWD.

 

‘Feeling it the next day’ sound reasonable in books. But in truth, it’s only happened for me twice in all these years. I had a few stray bruises and sore spots the first time he used his belt. I grinned more the next day than I normally would in a week.

 

Which brings me to the one and only good thing about a cane. Besides giving the immediate white-hot, nearly unbearable pain of the stroke, it does give a lasting effect. These feeling of these tiny thin lines can linger. Marks, which can be seen and enjoyed for days are common. For me, these are the only reasons I haven’t given a hard no to the cane.

 

In conclusion I’ll quote Cassie, “I’m perfectly happy with a husband who spanks. I love our lifestyle and I wouldn’t change it. The only time I don’t like our lifestyle is when he is actually spanking. During those moments I’m dead set against it. But in the big picture that’s  very small amount of time.”

25 comments:

  1. Hi PK, I can so relate to this and love the quote from Cassie. The anticipation and build-up and after effects are the best parts of a spanking. I do love a light spanking with lots of rubbing etc in between.

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes those light ones are more a part of sex than a spanking, and they are delicious.

      Delete
  2. PK,
    I am laughing at Cassie's quote. This is a great post! I never really thought about not liking spanking, but when it is the kind that hurts like it is supposed to, it is not a comfortable feeling, is not sexy,and might feel slightly kinky, but that's only because all of the anticipation beforehand and the lasting physical and mental affects afterwards that you talked about. I think many of us are sometimes simply thinking, "Fuck, that huuuuurts!!" Great post! Hugs, Windy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, you know me. I'll buy anything Cassie has to say. The whole 'please stop!/why did you stop?' is almost always there for me.

      Delete
  3. Cassie knows what she's talking about. As do you. I love the idea of the spanking, the AFTERglow of a spanking. The actual painful part of it - not so much.

    And totally YES on the "it's too hard stop now" and then followed immediately by "wait is that all? are we done?"

    LOL. Perfect post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really think that stop/don't stop is a truth for many of us.

      Delete
  4. oh gosh yes to much of what you wrote here, there are some spankings I do like, generally those that are very much intertwined with sexual stuff, my Master has this flogger that is not heavy but in fact rather soft, its thuddy and hard to explain really but I find it rather relaxing probably because there is no pain :)

    It is afterwards that I definitely like the most, I love having marks even if I didn't enjoy how I go them! and ahh yes the cane, that does leave distinct marks and I like running my hands over the welts, the cane is my favourite.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We have a lovely flogger too and it's just like you say.

      Now about the cane... it will NEVER be a favorite of mine. I'm more a leather strap kinda girl. But just for the lasting effects I keep the cane on our list.

      Delete
  5. Sigh....one day maybe I can speak to this. I am glad that you have that time with Nick though!

    Hugs
    Boo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. On the blog in comments or by email. We are having a pretty good time. Thanks.

      Delete
  6. Cassie's quote is perfect. I'm not a lover of spankings to be frank. I get more turned on by the lower exchange aspect.

    I'm often sore the next day, but never how they write about it in books. The bruises, welts or blisters are more like badges of honour for physically enduring what I did. Lol ( not honour for why I got them though. Lol)

    ReplyDelete
  7. *power not lower

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As I said, I've rarely been sore - but yes any bruise or stray mark was worn as a badge of honor. Just honored to be a spanked wife, a tribute to our lifestyle

      Delete
  8. Yes, on all this. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought you'd understand.

      Delete
  9. Deena9:18 AM

    I think I may need to show this to my husband to read. I can never seem to put into words how this makes me feel but you have summed it up quite perfectly! It is not just the actual spanking it is the emotions that come along with it. Has anyone told you that you have a way with words ;) ;) ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, I do remember teachers telling me I talked too much - but I don't guess that's the same. I hope you will show this to your husband and I hope others do too. Our men are such good men, they don't want to 'hurt' us. Maybe this would help them understand.

      Delete
    2. Deena9:55 AM

      I showed it to him. Currently sitting on a warm bottom.

      Delete
    3. Wonderful!!

      Delete
  10. Cassie quote made me smile. Yes I love the anticipation of a spanking. Sometimes I think of nothing else except the pain when I'm getting spanked. After I love to feel the burning in my bottom that eventually becomes pleasant and if it's tender the next day, I'm happy.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's it exactly. Maybe Cassie speaks for many of us.

      Delete
  11. This and the last post are great! This blog set so many things straight in my head. I love this kind of discussion with all the other comments. We are all so alike but have a hard time understanding it ourselves. No wonder our husbands are confused.
    Both my husband and I thank you for this blog. I used to print out some of it for him to read. It often explained things that I couldn’t. Like this one does. He really understands quite well now and I learned to be more open and honest about my feelings.
    I’m so happy that you and Nick are really communicating—face to face!!! Isn’t it nice to know that he’s been thinking about this probably as much as you do? It sounds like it’s important to him too.
    Thanks again for sharing.
    Rosie Dee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I used to think it was simple, but as I've grown in trying to really understand I do understand the confusion - on all sides, more. It's a true honor to think that this blog has helped anyone. If that has happened, I sure hope it continues to.

      Delete
  12. So on that note, 'Are you finished already?', what is longest time you've been spanked? Or, if it were -twas- a gentle spanking, how long would you want to be spanked?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a good question. I know when we first started he would go back and forth between spanking, rubbing and touching for nearly an hour. As for how long I'm want to be spanked... I probably couldn't take it as long as I think I would want. It it were a true hard spanking I'm guessing five minutes would be an eternity.

      Delete