I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, March 15, 2021

All right, who the hell has Nick’s email address?

Such an interesting Sunday. Let me go back and begin on Saturday night. Nick and I went out to eat with our friends for the first time in well over a year. The friends and I all have birthdays in December so Nick usually take us all out to our favorite place. All of them have been fully vaccinated and I had my first shot so I felt pretty save.


This place has the best food ever. They have a fantastic salad bar. To go to the salad you had to be masked, of course, and you had to wear gloves, which they provided. In addition to this great salad, I got prime rib you could cut with a fork, a baked potato and cookies and cream cheese cake for dessert (which we brought home to share.) It was great to be out with people again!

 

Sunday morning was peaceful and pleasant. After church (on line) I settled in to answer some emails. Nick and I have been emailing about many of the things I’ve talked about out here. I owed him an email, but I was still thinking about my reply. I’d been about to reply to a friend’s email, where she again urged me to try talking to him face to face. When Nick came to the writing room and said, “Why don’t we talk about these emails?”



So fess up? Which of my sneaky-devil friends emailed this man behind my back? Maybe it was a joint vibe coming from many of you. But there he was, in the flesh and wanting to talk – with voices, not typing. I felt a little panic stricken. But we actually talked, face to face. I did a lot of listening (easier than talking) but I did my share of talking too.

 

We talked about sex, what’s good for us, what our needs are, how we feel about some things, a few things we liked, a few we didn’t – we just talked. We touched on exercise/diet. He’s hesitant, but willing to help. But it’s on me, as it should be, to set realistic goals which may have to do with weight loss, but mostly for more exercising – movement and if I want his help I have to self-report. He won’t be telling me anything about eating or when to walk or anything like that.

 

I was the one who called a halt to everything many months back – I even quit recording my weight weekly, something he’d asked me to do and I’d done for nearly two years. He surprised me when he said, “I think if we are going to work on this together you deserve a spanking for calling a stop to it all before without even discussing it with me.” 

Hmm… 

 

It was a good time to talk. There was no pressure on either of us. Mollie was coming over sometime and so we both knew nothing was going to happen that day. It was just a day for thinking and talking. 

 

He did say one thing that made me laugh. He know I have a ‘punishment fetish’ of sorts. And I’ve often said I didn’t like mixing discipline with sex. But recently we’ve been watching ‘Outlander’ together. I’m assuming we are the last to see it. But Nick told me, loosely quoting Jamie Frazier (so read this with your Scottish accent) “Just because I have to punish you and beat your arse, Sassenach, did not mean I’m not going to enjoy it.” I had to laugh. 




We’re still talking and emailing. We may get this thing somewhat figured out eventually. But for you guys – no more emailing my husband!

27 comments:

  1. *faints* .... huh, what? I mean, YAY! Good for you two!

    Maybe it's something in the blogosphere going around that our ttwd men are getting their second (or 20th) wind!

    Happy for you. Give us the deets when you get some action, please!

    I vote for Cassie having Nick's email address. That woman....... Hugs, Windy

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Giving details is harder these days - but I'll try. Cassie would never.

      Delete
    2. Well, don't share anything you're not comfortable sharing. Not what I meant. :)

      Delete
  2. Wow PK,what a wonderful weekend all round! Glad you were able to enjoy dinner out with friends.

    So glad you and Nick talked. Crossing fingers things keep moving forward. I vote for Cassie having Nick's email address too lol

    Hugs
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. It was really wonderful!

      I'm glad we talked, too. Cassie might give me hell, but she would never email Nick.

      Delete
  3. Fabulous weekend! I’ve WANTED Nick’s email many times but unfortunately don’t have it. I’m thrilled for you that you TALKED! It’s hard to feel that vulnerable but it reaps rewards sometimes. Sounds great so far.
    Rosie Dee

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    Replies
    1. I guard Nick's email like the crown jewels. If some of you had it, I might never sit again!

      Delete
  4. Sounds like you had a lovely weekend. Oh to be able to eat out at a restaurant.

    Makes me happy that you and Nick have talked. Look forward to hearing more.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You would love this place. It's my absolute favorite. Bits of prime rib is one of the sides at their salad bar!

      I'll keep blogging you know and keep everyone up to date.

      Delete
  5. Oh, PK, I am truly happy for you. I know how vulnerable and hard it can be to talk face to face, but I am so glad you both did. And I wish you many happy spankings ahead. :-) Hugs

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Terps! As I've said before it's like dragging an anchor over gravel. But we did manage.

      Delete
  6. Oh, I love this! I went on weight watchers about a year ago and lost 40 pounds, no help from the hubby, yes I am proud of myself. But I could use some motivation when it comes to exercising, I hate it.
    Oh, I am so happy for you, glad Nick got my emails, lol, just kidding, it wasn't me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! You wouldn't have been the only one emailing if his address was out there. That is fantastic on your weight loss. I've tried WW with limited results. But exercise is not really for me either. We'll see what happens.

      Delete
  7. I walk with BIKSS. more for him than for me, but one of us has to get the ball going...

    As for the emails, I hope u say that in jest cos the alarmist in me thinks it's kinda beyond a person's allowed jurisdiction to write to him behind your back. Otherwise, I'd say maybe he popped in here to read... or happened to see one of your emails as you were typing it...

    (or did you send him something meant for someone else by mistake?)

    Perhaps its just the universe lending a helping hand!

    I'm surely pleased that you're talking about things tho... I've found myself in a place where we're re-examining our own dynamics (don't worry, in a good way) and fine tuning our rituals too.

    Looking forward to progress! So happy for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. Hey Fondles, I was definitely kidding. I know no one emailed him. No one has his address. But truly I feel I could throw his email out here and still no one would use it without asking me first. He may have popped on here to read, I think he does on very rare occasions. Or he may have just wanted to talk. Either way its a step in the right direction.

      Delete
  8. Deena9:25 AM

    Well THIS just made me smile!

    First, dinner out and with friends! Wow! AND this conversation :)

    Hoping you two will continue to move forward, however that looks for you ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We will somehow and I'll probably keep blogging about.

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  9. I'm so glad you talked to your husband, it's great!!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Cloe, we don't do it as often as we should. But thats to him we're still trying.

      Delete
  10. We used to go from emailing, to talking, then over time, not talking or emailing. I remember B wanting to resume emailing, ( a while ago) and I said no, no matter how hard it is we need to talk. Or I did. Not because I believe for all it is the right way to go- communicate any way one CAN is the most important aspect, but because it added a much needed, forced layer of vulnerability to me when I probably needed it most. I hope you continue on in ways that help you move forward.

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    Replies
    1. You're right that communicating is what's important over all. But sometimes I simply freeze when we actually talk. I just can't make words come out. But we'll keep plugging along.

      Delete
  11. Replies
    1. I don't suspect you, you'd just call him.

      Delete
  12. artlover4:49 PM

    “Just because I have to punish you and beat your arse, Sassenach, did not mean I’m not going to enjoy it.”

    There is a good post starting a thread on the old "Taken in Hand" directed to husbands called "you are allowed to enjoy it" or something like that.

    Personally, I have never understood the whole "keep it separate from sex" thing. In this day and age, doing DD is incredibly, almost impossibly romantic. And it is relational, not utilitarian. To hear some people talk, you would think that spanking your wife is as utilitarian as changing a tire. Ridiculous.

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    1. Sorry I'm so late in replying -

      In my mind I saw two different things. For my needs I need occasional discipline, it's what my mind craved. Just discipline. I separated that need from erotic or playful spankings. I liked both for sure, but eventually I began seeing the erotic one only for him - a way to get what he wanted. Since we only did that and no discipline, I felt my needs were never considered. I'm not saying for sure that I was right, but that's how I felt.

      Delete
    2. artlover8:52 PM

      "For my needs I need occasional discipline, it's what my mind craved. Just discipline."

      To my mind, there is no separating the two. I don't mean the spanking itself feels erotic. You can hate every second of the spanking. But love that you are a spanked wife, spanked for real, not play.

      Delete
    3. artlover8:57 PM

      I left out half the reply, lol. I think that it is the dd relationship that is erotic. In fact, dd can eroticize the entire relationship. There is a post on JG's old blog about how dd can make a man feel ten feet tall while taking out the garbage. I meant by that that, when we are doing dd, it affects how I feel about everything that I do as a husband. I want to rock my role as husband. I am not "a husband." I am "THE HUSBAND." One whose beautiful, educated, and highly competent wife, turns to for the discipline that she needs.
      DD is impossibly romantic, in the broadest sense of the word.

      Delete