I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, March 10, 2021

When TTWD actually worked!

Several people asked how TTWD worked for us back when it did. I found this post to answer that question. This post was written thirteen years ago when we been doing our version of TTWD for about two years. This was when it worked. I keep reading it over and over, trying to pick up and notice every little thing we did right.

Let me tell you about Wednesday. Maybe I should go back to Monday. After work Monday I went home, got my gym clothes and headed out to exercise. I got to the gym and sat in my car for a bit just dreading going in. Really most of the time I don’t mind but I was tired. I knew I had an hour there and I needed to go by the drugstore to get some stuff for the kids Easter baskets (I don’t care how old they are, as long as I am around the Easter Bunny is coming.) I just didn’t want to exercise so I blew is off and just went shopping. Who was going to know?

When I got home Nick gave me a hug and asked “Did you work hard at the gym?” I didn’t really want to admit I just hadn’t gone and it didn’t really matter, so I just said, “No not really.” and left it at that. It wasn’t a big deal and I didn’t think anymore about it that night.

I went to the gym the next day and all was find but it was actually bugging me that I had sort of lied to Nick. I emailed a friend about it. She and I are close on how our diets are going and how our husbands usually react. After we talked a while I decided maybe I should just go on and tell him because it was bothering me.

So I finally sent him the following email.


I'm feeling a little guilty about something. In the grand scheme of things I guess it’s no big deal and to be honest I am a little surprised that it is bothering me so much. I didn’t go to the gym Monday and I let you believe that I did. I know if I had just told you that I wasn’t going you wouldn’t have really cared. And if I had just said I didn’t go you wouldn’t have really cared. But I did feel bad for just acting like I went and not saying anything. I did actually go but I just couldn’t make myself go in. Maybe I really am changing. I don’t think this would have bothered me in the past. But I feel that we are close now and it did bothering me. So I wanted to tell you and let you know I won’t do it again. I am really am sorry.


I felt better after I sent is because I realized I felt relaxed and didn't  worry about what he would say. I didn’t think he would spank me because we don’t do a lot of discipline. He doesn’t ‘make me’ go to the gym that is my choice. But when I read his response a little later he really said exactly what I needed to hear. Here is what he said.


Maybe it wouldn't seem like a big deal normally. But if we are working together to get you healthier and you are to be held accountable for your actions and progress then it's a little different. If you are supposed to go to the gym and just can't make it we at least need to discuss it (and talk about motivation). I do appreciate you feeling that you needed to set things straight. I expect with next week coming up you plan on going to the gym every chance you get between now and then! I also expect you to be eating smart. Enough for now, but we may need to revisit this topic.

Although I always want it to be so, I loved hearing that he felt we are truly working together on this together.

That afternoon I took Mollie to baby-sit and then I went to the gym. Nick was home when I got there and the first thing he asked me was if I had made it all the way into the gym. I laughed and assured him I had. He didn’t seem upset about what I had told him and we talked a little. I And then I told him, "As Cassie would say, I didn’t exactly lie – I just didn’t correct your assumption."

Then Nick asked, “And what would Tom have done?”

What?

This wasn’t a question I would ever have expected Nick to ask.

“They are your 'ideal' couple aren't they?"

So I hedged. “I think he would tell her not to do it again.”

“Anything else?”

Hmmmm….

Nick went on, “I think he'd get out the hairbrush.”

He held out his hand and when I took it he led me back to the bedroom. He did get out the hair brush –  and I agree with Cassie,  that thing is no toy.

He sat on the bed and put me over his lap. He started with my jeans on but it still stung and didn’t seem like a good thing. The jeans weren’t on long. Panties may add a psychological barrier, but not much more. Of course it wasn’t long before they were history too. I know many of you like OTK, but I really like snuggling down on my bed when I am being spanked. But that day it wasn’t to be.

Nick soon stood me up and said, “Come with me.” You know I have gotten pretty comfortable being nude in front of Nick these days but somehow having only my shirt on was a little embarrassing. He headed back to the living room where he sat in a straight back chair and pulled me over his lap again. “Now this put thing at the right angle,” he observer. Then he really went to town with that brush! Dang, that thing hurt! And he wasn’t kidding around. It was the hardest spanking I have ever had and he didn’t stop until he was finished.

When he finally stopped he rubbed a little and then let me up. We went back to lie on the bed. He looked at my bottom and mildly observed that there might be some bruising. I think lying there with him right then I felt as close as I ever had to him. My bottom was still on fire but I felt wonderful – connected, cared for, secure, loved. And really, is there anything else we are looking for in life?

But if we ever do have another situation like this I think I'll leave Cassie and Tom out of it.

15 comments:

  1. Loved this Pk. I love that Cassie can get you in trouble as well as her other friends lol

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Yes, it made me feel like one of the girls.

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  2. Perfect timing as usual PK. The guilt factor is hard and today I feel really guilty. The Sheriff has picked up on "something" being wrong and has been more attentive. Which is good but it also makes me feel frustrated. I can tell him that I feel guilty but since he hasnt ever helped alleviate that guilt, I dont see much point....which of course makes me feel guilty all over again. Sigh.

    But, the connection you talk about is the key and we do have it...just not the way I am expecting....which makes me feel guilty...

    You see the problem?

    Sigh. I am so glad you had the opportunity to see it work in real life. Even if only briefly.

    Hugs
    Boo

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    1. I understand all you're saying. I really do. Nick has no idea when I have these feelings. I wish I wasn't so good at hiding everything. But at least I know it can work. I just wish I knew how to get back there.

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  3. So I think the message is lie a little, then tell on yourself and see where that gets ya TODAY. Laughing. I know I am a troublemaker, but I so want you to get in trouble with Nick in a good/bad way and for him to respond. :) Hugs, Windy

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    1. It wouldn't get me anywhere today. We 'don't do that anymore.' That's all he would think.

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    2. Print out your post for him, watch him read it, and then ask a million questions. Talk, talk, talk. What Rosie Dee says below.

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  4. I remember a similar thing happening in the first few months of Ttwd. I called B and told him I couldn't do a task because the heavy snow tires were in the way. He said he understood and that was that-except it wasn't. As the day went on I felt terrible. It made me realize how many times I may have done or said similar things in the past because I just didn't feel like it but if *I* had decided to move the tires I would have ( in fact I'm pretty sure I put them there in the first place). I talked to him about it later and he said he knew exactly what was going on. I didn't however get punished.

    I too feel far more exposed when I am partially dressed as opposed to completely nude, and I'm NOT a fan of OTK. I find it distractingly awkward. Lol

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    1. I think all our husbands love us and punishment is not the first thing on their minds. Even if it's often top in our minds.

      Truly OTK is not fun!

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  5. Why doesn’t he remember that and want the closeness back? You need some kind of structure that the two of you can work together on. IDK, you don’t want to have to direct him and he probably doesn’t want that either. Can’t he tell when you start to withdraw that something is wrong and you need a little “attention”? I tend to get a little sarcastic and after a day or two my husband picks up on it and knows I need a “little something.”
    Rosie Dee

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    1. No Rosie - I tell you I'm good. I'm afraid he would have to be a true mind reader to know anything.

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  6. artlover10:40 PM

    That was a lovely read. I hope you can get back to this soon. When it is working right, it is a wonderful thing.

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  7. Coming from a pair who don't do punishment, i get it. Sometimes I think, it doesn't matter if i tell the whole truth or not, cos it's not like it's HIS rule or nothing. It was all me making a decision and if i decide not to do something then i have that right. But the NOT clarifying is the thing that will bug me. And so i often do, even if after the fact. But when I'm feeling a bit "guilty" about something, and tell him why i did what i did, he's not the sort that would grab a hairbrush or anything. He's the understanding sort - "I get it, i know you were tired and didn't feel like you owed me an explanation, and in reality you don't..." and then I feel even worse. And to get over that, i often ask him for a spanking. Not as punishment. But as a "reset" or "reconnection". To feel close again. And I think at one point in my blogging life there were a LOT of reset spankings going on cos I was just feeling so untethered so much of the time.

    The best thing is that I always felt it was easier to talk DURING those spankings when I felt closest to him.

    SO maybe even if Nick doesn't "hold you accountable" you can still approach TTWD with a slightly different twist? You hold yourself accountable. With an assist from Nick and his hairbrush when you've been bad and need a "reset"...

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    1. Sometimes I'm so confused myself I have great empathy for Nick's confusion. 'Grabbing the hairbrush' is completely foreign to him. I know when it was happening he only did it for me. And I do appreciate his efforts.

      I'm content and it's hard to find the nerve and energy to break that feeling even is something better can come from it. It's hard to muster the energy to try when I have such a strong feeling I'm just going to find myself right back here again.

      But I do appreciate your coming by and commenting. It does make me think.

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    2. I think Fondles summed it up very nicely. Those husbands/boyfriends/SOs/Tops/Doms that oppose to punishments and holding accountable, are generally do not oppose to providing a reset or stress relief, in this case, guilt induced. I'm in no position to give any advice, but I read sooo many blogs on the matter that sometimes I feel like Dr Ruth and have to chime in with my two cents.

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