Before we get the chance to play with our new toy I will have another official weigh in. I worry that I won’t have made goal. The goal is completely reasonable. I have been to the gym 4 times this week and I have really worked hard. But one of my big downfalls is soft drinks and junk food. I love them both!! And I haven’t made the decision to cut them out yet. I want to continue the weight loss for me but this is also the only place that Nick as agreed to use spanking for discipline. I don’t want him to think I am not trying. Or that I am trying to ‘test’ him. I promise that this is not the case.
I know that he is more comfortable with erotic and good girl spankings. But he needs to know that discipline is okay when he feels that it is necessary. I myself am conflicted. I truly do not want a punishment spanking for two reasons; one it means I have let both of us down and two because they hurt!! At the same time I worry that he will let it go and that might just hurt worse. Even as inexperienced as I am with the discipline spankings I know that its not so much how hard he hits or with what its just more the seriousness of the occasion and the realization that he is not playing.
I hope he knows that if I make goal or not, discipline spanking or not, it will not affect my willingness to play at any time. Sore or not, that’s my problem not his. There may be no reason to worry; I am on my way to the gym in just a few minutes and I may have lost after all. I know all this sounds like topping from the bottom (Which he doesn’t completely mind at this time in our relationship because as he says this has been in my mind for decades, not his. I think knowing my thoughts helps him as he becomes more comfortable in the lifestyle.) But if I can T from B about one more thing – I would like to save ‘Mollie the Red’ for playtime!