I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, August 07, 2006

Bonnie, you need to know...

Bonnie is used to hearing praise and she deserves it. But I still need for her to understand how I found her and what she has done. My marriage for over 20 years was fine. Nothing awful, nothing to complain about, just not the marriage of story books. We neither one spent a lot of time talking about out feelings; we didn’t talk much at all. Our sex life was dull. I avoided sex whenever possible. I was not a great wife. But I really love Nick and I wanted to be a good wife. I prayed that something would change. I mean I really prayed. I had looked on the internet before and most of what I had seen was nothing that I would consider the answer to a prayer.

But I tried one more time. When I typed in spanking it said I had 13,500,000 sites to choose from. From all those, I clicked on My Bottom Smarts. I was stunned at what I found. A normal person writing wonderful funny stories, tutorials, suggestions I just couldn’t believe my find. I read everything Bonnie had written. I read all the comments. I checked out the sites of the folks that had left comments. I found my world, a place that I felt that I belonged.

This all happened the last week in May. Since that time, because of the courage and acceptance that I knew was out there for my particular kink, everything has change. I came out to Nick and found total acceptance if not total understanding. My desire to make love with my husband has gone from putting up with it once or twice a month to wanting him once or twice a day. The change has been completely amazing. Instead of spending this month only in dread of my oldest leaving home, I have fallen back in love with my husband and realized the potential of what our lives can really become as we explore this new lifestyle. I feel like my life is just beginning and I am so excited!!

So Bonnie, if ever you wonder if the time and effort you put into your blog is worth it, please know that you and your work has been the catalyst for all the wonderful changes in my life. I really love all the friends that I have found here. I love having these friends to talk to and learn from. But mostly I love having Nick for a friend. Thank-you for what you do.

Bonnie, I wrote this several days ago before I read tonight about your upcoming vacations. The vacations are a wonderful idea. No one wants you to burn out and give up on blogging due to exhaustion. Relax, have fun, and enjoy Randy. Forget about us for awhile – but not forever!


  1. Anonymous5:22 AM

    Bless you, Elis, you have such a big heart :)
    Just keep blogging!

  2. Elis, I had something similar a couple of years back, that blog was A Creative Spanked Wife, unfortunately she had to close her blog a few months ago.
    Even though I've been a spanko all my life and my wife and I had a
    D D and D/s lifestyle all our married life, I had no idea that a spanko community existed online.
    So I know what you are feeling, even though CSW is closed, I keep in touch with Patty.
    Big hugs,

  3. Hi Elis, sweetie,

    I am simply marvelling at your accelerated spanko growth rate, and also, more important, your growth as a person and as a couple. We mirror each other in many respects, more now that I've read your meme... and we seem to be travelling down much the same road.

    Wow, I have a travelling buddy!! What a wonderful, reassuring surprise!

    Biggest hugs!

  4. Bonnie was a huge part of my decision to blog as well. I began reading her site from the month she started. I think her's was the first site I ever commented on as well. It was her graciousness and encouragement that gave me the little extra push I needed to begin my own journey.

    She's awesome and so are you. Funny, I just remembered I wrote a post very early on dedicated to her as well. I guess great minds must think alike.

    **Big Hugs**

  5. bonnie also had a big impact on my life as a spanko...my lifestyle took a different turn than bonnie's, but she was completely wonderful to me & storm.

    i think the internet has opened a lot of doors for so many people...my life has been completely changed & i look forward to reading how much better yours gets too!!

  6. Anonymous4:19 PM

    How exciting that you can fall back in love with your husband and have some excitement to look forward too when your nest is empty. To me that is how it should be! I am always happy to hear when a couple is commited and in love - Yeah for you for exploring and being open with your spouse. Yeah for him for listening and expoloring with you. Yeah for Bonnie for giving us all a place to share, learn and grow. And yeah for all the brunch guests for sharing their input and interests, yet not judging each other.

  7. I too have been helped by Bonnie, and now in more ways than one. Now I've been lead here.

  8. Thanks guys. I am totally amazed at how supportive and accepting this community is. Lets take good care of each other while Bonnie rests up.


  9. Elis,

    Thank you! I feel privileged to have played a role in your marital renaissance. It's been a delight to watch you grow more confident and more capable, both as a blogger and as a spanko. I wish you and Nick continued success and happiness together.

    BTW, I just posted a new brunch question. My readers insisted!


  10. It is so interesting how your interest in sex changed? What do you think did it? The spankings or just the increase in communication?