I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Friday, August 11, 2006

The Importance of Touch

I wrote this last weekend when all the family was in but several things came up so I waited. Now I know ever more about it than I did then – thanks Eva, now I know what to call it! On to my post…

I hope Nick knows how much I love the little changes I see. He touches me! It is unbelievably wonderful. I don’t care if he is giving me a hug, patting my bottom or rubbing my leg - at home or out on the town. In bed he turns over and just reaches out and touches me. I love it!!

There have been other changes. In the past when we had sex I never wanted my breast touched. I didn’t like it; it hurt and bothered me to have them touched. Now I love it, what has changed? We woke up for a little early fun before all the family showed up for Sunday lunch. If the kids are home the only time for a bit of spanking is very early morning when a cannon wouldn’t wake them. It doesn’t have the wild abandonment that comes from being alone but it’s pretty darn good. Well of course any kind of spanking can get my juices flowing but when he pinched my nipples and sucked on them I just flowed (female ejaculation? Who knew?) It was fantastic!!! The same is true for anal play; I used to want to avoid this. But now I am willing to explore. Not anal sex, but playing and touching is suddenly something I desire, not avoid.

But I am serious about the question. What exactly created the change? Can this much change come about just from reading blogs, from coming out to my husband, from accepting who I really am? Is it my husband’s willingness to spank and explore the lifestyle? Is it the encouragement and acceptance of other bloggers that creates a safe environment that I want to be a part of? I guess its combinations of all the above. But if that is the case why aren’t we being studied by sex therapist world wide? Let’s find a way to bottle this stuff folks, we’ll make a fortune!


  1. Anonymous11:32 AM

    Elis~ Once again, you make me smile! The change is due to all of the above if you ask me. It all mixes and mingles together to form the exact correct hormonal balance. Hang on, enjoy the ride but don't forget to refuel as needed. (and that's a suggestion to myself as much as to you since we are both fearing the same upcoming event-ugh)

  2. Elis, you're happy, relaxed, open and most importantly trusting.
    The most important thing about the lifestyle, in my mind, is the trust, the level of trust that we have is so much higher than many vanilla marriages.
    Keep that level of trust high and keep working at it, it can only get better.
    Way to go Elis.
    Big hugs,

  3. So here we are at the third day Elis has made CeeCi puddle up! It's all of the above, everything and more!!!

    You are completely stunning, beautiful and a splendid being. I know exactly how you're feeling, I've been experiencing the same wonders myself.

    Hmm, I've been recycling my empty water bottles, but I can start saving them for bottling that formula when it comes along. Eva should be able to figure out the ratios.

    **Big Hugs**

  4. Anonymous5:07 PM

    I'm sitting here smiling to myself, Elis, just after reading your post! It's gotta be called "Epiphany" or "Evolution" and we women (sorry Paul) are very good at it - it's almost as if we've put ourselves on hold for just this time to come along... imagine if you missed the boat? Ugh!

    Lovely to hear you so happy!

  5. Eva,
    I do worry about the refueling and how to maintain. But for now and really am enjoying the ride.

    You really hit it on the head with the importance of trust. I wasn't that I didn't trust him before. I just never opened my feelings up to anyone! This feels so much better!!!!!

    I don't mean to make you cry although I am learning that a good cry can feel wonderful. I feel good that we are going through some of the same feelings.

    That is a horrible thought, if I had missed the boat. I thank God I didn't.


  6. AWWW Elis!

    Isn't it amazing what can happen when we open ourselves up to the person we love?

    I'm so happy for you!! This is wonderful!


  7. The changes are remarkable and hard to explain. I love the touch to. Will is a big toucher, which is great. I have also told him don't take your hands off me. I want them on me all the time. He says it won't be a problem!