I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Sunday, May 10, 2009

My last few days

You’re getting two posts for the price of one today. One I wrote Wednesday when I was in a bad mood, annoyed and my feelings were hurt. The other I wrote several days later when I was feeling more like myself.

If there is one thing I have learned blogging is to write when you are in any mood – good, bad, sexy or blah. Writing always helps me –but never post anything you write when you are in a bad mood for several days. Just wait, see if your feelings change or that there may be more to add to it.

So for the first part of this post let me tell you a little more about Nick. I feel that I do a good job telling you all about Nick’s good point. There are many! He is loving and funny and calm and good natured. He does the cooking, much of the cleaning, the grocery shopping, the laundry, the yard work. He listened to my gripes and complaints about work and commiserates without telling me what I should do about it.

He is a wonderful spanker (when I can get him to) and a skilled and thoughtful lover.

He pets me and pampers me and spoils me and I think that any of the bloggers I’ve had the privilege of meeting in person will confirm this.

But as good as he is there is another side of him. No one is perfect and like everyone else Nick does have bad habits. And while I am not, and never will be a husband basher, I feel that if I can point out all his good points here I should be able to use this blog to gripe about him when I need to.

So I want to point our some of Nick bad habits. Here goes –

• He makes me trim his hair. I know I am going to screw up some day and gap it (there’s an idea to get him to stop asking!).

• Occasionally road grumpiness (I can’t call it road rage but I still don’t like it).

• He doesn’t spank often enough.

• When he does spank, it’s not long enough.

• When we do make an attempt at discipline he is not consistent.

And the worse – the thing I hate the most and something he is just going to have to change -

  • He can't read my mind

This is the one I just can’t put up with any longer! It was this short coming that caused me to write the post I wrote several days ago. Here’s what I wrote…

Wednesday we took Mollie to the science and math camp she was selected for. It’s about 180 miles from home. Although she has been going to a week long camp each year since she was eight she was a little nervous when we got there. But she seemed to quickly warm up. As I write this after we got home Wednesday she has already text that all is well and she’s having a great time. We’ll be picking her up Mother’s Day.

Something happened on our way back from taking Mollie Wednesday that made me think of my mother and something she used to do. Mom and dad owned their own business and so they worked together every day. After I left home my mom (like me now) didn’t like cooking too much. Often she would start hinting to my dad in the late after noon. Over several hours she would say things like ‘I don’t know what I want for supper tonight’ or ‘I don’t feel much like cooking tonight’. Maybe later she would say ‘I don’t think we have anything at the house to fix tonight’. Now all she wanted was to go out to eat on their way home. But she would never ask directly and my poor dad was no good at all in picking up these obvious hints.

Now if she had said “Let’s go out and eat tonight.” Dad would have said “That’s a good idea, where do you want to go”. But she preferred to continue to do it her way. I was often exasperated with her when I would find her mad and pouting. I would tell her “So you really enjoy being mad at Daddy for not reading your mind more than you enjoy eating out?”

What Daddy got from all the supper comments was ‘She tired, not much food at the house, guess I’m make myself a PB&J when we get home.” What Mom got from him not taking her out to eat was hurt feelings and the thought “He doesn’t care about me.”

So what happened to make me think of this? Nick won’t read my mind either and sometimes it hurts my feelings and I think he doesn’t care.
I guess I was hoping he would say something about my posts last Sunday and Tuesday. I don’t know what I wanted him to say, but something. I did ask if he read the first one and he said yes but that’s all. But coming back from taking Mollie he spotted a sign for an adult toy store,

When he pointed it our and made a commit about it I was thinking, “Well, maybe he is still interested. After all, Mother’s day is coming, and our anniversary – we have 3 full days alone! We’re a hundred miles from home and we're all alone; this will be a great time for a shopping trip!”

But as we neared the exit I realized he wasn’t going to stop. I guess it had never really occurred to him, I just thought it had. He had just been pointing out the sign. But because he didn’t read my mind, it hurt my feelings and I felt like he didn’t care. Now just like my mom wanting to eat out all I had to do was to say “Let’s stop and look around.” But I didn’t. I wanted him to want to.

So I just got quiet and nursed my hurt feelings. I should be over getting upset when Nick doesn’t read my mind. I guess I own Nick an apology for not just saying something. But I also might owe my mother an apology too. Maybe I understand a little more how she felt.


I let this bother me for a day or so but I never said anything to Nick because I knew it was stupid to have let me bother me in the first place. By Friday I was feeling better and by Saturday (with some attention from Nick) I was feeling much better. But that’s another post.


  1. PK, isn't it a shame that we are all human, even our partners and parents.
    Love and warm hugs,

  2. PK: When you saw the sign, you needed to say, "Would you like to stop?'' That way you plant the seed without telling him what to do. I know you wanted him to want to but sometimes us clueless males need a nudge to get the message. Then if he still drives right back, you can throw something at him. LOL.

    I bet he stops the next time you go by that sign, but then maybe you won't be in the mood. Oh, getting on the same page is never easy in this Mars-Venus world. LOL.

    Oh, let us know what you wanted to buy at the store.!!!!

  3. Yes Paul it's a shame and it's wonderful. It puts us all in the same boat.

    Florida Dom,
    That would have been a better way to handle it. Maybe next time. I didn't have anything particular in mind to buy - the most fun is wandering through and seeing something that grabs your interest.

  4. Anonymous1:22 AM

    Happy Mother's Day, PK.


  5. ohhhhhhh PK... we should have their moms train then after birth immediately... all moms who have sons should teach them how to read a womans mind... cause I would love it when P would be able to read mine... so ohhhhhhhhh yes, I do understand...

    love, Lessa

  6. Sometimes PK, I'm glad P doesn't read my mind :)

    Florida Dom is right - that's what I do sometimes, plant and let him think he suggested it but doesn't work all the time as he knows me too well.


  7. Diana,
    Thanks, it was real nice.

    Maybe that's the problem. The men are all grown up when we get them and they are hard to teach.

    Now Ronnie it goes with out saying that I only want him to read my mind when I want him too, not all the time. Okay maybe it is a little confusing but we are women and we should get what we want - right??

  8. When it comes to mind reading etc.... after I brought up the subject of the store, if you had responded with "do you want to check it out" then I would have given it consideration. But when you didn't make much comment, and you hadn't been acting like you were feeling well with your cold, I guess I thought I would get you on home to your recliner and laptop.

  9. Anonymous9:08 PM

    Oh PK so busted by Nick... getting you back to your recliner... you must've had a little black cloud swirling around your head that he refused to let burst around him!!

    It's pretty bad when he thinks your fingers on the laptop keys are the safest use for them given your demeanor!! I'm very happy you got your needed attention on Saturday and you're feeling better on the inside and the outside! ((HUGS)) KayLynn

  10. Nick,
    I'm awful glad you put up with me in various moods. I think I was feeling bad already and I was lookng for things to make me feel worse at the time. I probably did need my recliner and laptop.

    LOL! Maybe Nick knows more about me than I give him credit for!

    Saturday was much better. I will be telling about that soon.

  11. PK, it's amazing how such things can really tip us over for a few days and the men in our lives have no clue why we get like this. Why is it so hard to just say what we mean all the time. I know, I know, we want them to come up with things some times but ya know up against all Nick's good points, this really isn't so bad.

    Glad you are feeling better and hope you had a great Mother's Day.