I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Gradituesday N - and more thoughts

Nick – the best husband in the world. His real name is not an N but to all that know him here it is. He is everything I need him to be and I love him very much.

Naps – oh my, how I love naps. I love them as much now as I hated them when I was three or four. Sunday afternoons are the best! Long and lazy – remember no one will ever say I’m working myself to death.

Novices – I love getting to know and talk to novices out here. Those who are just beginning to accept their spanko side and are beginning to feeling free to discuss it with other for the first time. I like letting them know that they are not alone and that the journey is worth it.

Nana – what my kids called my mom. The most wonderful grandmother in the world. I remember whenever I used to scold Mollie she would get this pitiful look on her face and sob, “I want my Nana.” Keep that in mind Grammy!

Night – I love night, evening – the family is mostly together. We are safe. We can relax from what ever the world has thrown at us that day. For me it is a peaceful time.

Nude – one of my favorite states to be in these days. I’m not saying I love the want I look nude but I love the fact that I don’t hate the way I look now. And Nick has never seemed to mind.

Naughtiness – I know nothing of this personally but I hear it’s quite fun!


Diet Update

To continue from my last post here are more of my thoughts on spanking as well as the diet. I didn’t do too well on the diet front this week. I was up a pound. Now Nick and I are really vague on the spanking diet rules. We (mostly I) have changed them from time to time. And right now I couldn’t tell you what they are – does that tell you something? Maybe we can agree on a few that don't deal directly with the scales.

I know I am over eating these days. I am stress eating and comfort eating. I know, I know – there are better ways of taking care of stress and better places to get comfort. But this is where I am right now.

I talked in my last post about words and tone. Nick’s kind way of talking to me and encouraging me would be the envy of every vanilla wife out there but I know a different approach would help me so much more.

He will hug me and say “You’re going to do better next week aren’t you?” In my mind I am thinking ‘probably not’.

I want to hear “You ARE going to do better next week or I’m going to paddle your butt until you can't sit.” In my mind I’d be thinking ‘hmmmmm…’

Last week I didn’t make to the gym too often – field trips and tutoring got in the way. But on the day I could go I called him when I was on my way and said “I guess I’m headed to the gym but I would rather come home and take a nap.”

He said teasing (knowing I was going) “Well I hope you make a wise decision”. I was thinking ‘Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr…”

I wanted to hear “That’s up to you but you better plan on napping on your stomach. Cause if you don’t get to the gym today I’m taking the hairbrush to you.”

Now honestly these words would help even if he didn’t spank me at all. For me the physiological aspects of spanking can do so much. When he gets in my mind – a whisper in my ear before I get out of bed, a threatening email does more for me and making me pay attention to my diet than all the encouragement in the world.

Ahhhh… the strange twisted mind of a spanko – will he ever understand it? I doubt it – I still don’t!


  1. Spanked Italian Gal1:41 AM

    Fun post PK. But as for the twisted mind of a spanko- heck I dont even get it so I know J won't. Have a great day
    I Gal

  2. Anonymous11:38 AM

    So I just pretend "he" is saying it to me. My 'ever present dom'. He's there like the energizer bunny - right between my ears when I need him. Although I admit I've kept him too quiet this mornin cuz there's wet clothes in the dryer and the kitchen is empty of chairs - floor is still not washed & my hair looks like Roseanne Rosannadana... Wait, he's at the door now and guess what's in his hand... gotta go - Geez he's so hot when he's mad!!!

  3. PK, great list, hopefully Nick will get a little stricter with you over the weight.
    Love and warm hugs,

  4. The twisted mind of a spanko. That would make a great title for a blog or a book....

    I don't get it, but I get it...does that make sense?

    Things never happen quite the way we want them to. Nick is just too nice of a guy. Terrible, isn't it? But he loves you and will do anything for you....so, start doing your assignment again and TELL HIM what you need! I know he will try. He's good, like that.

    Love your N's. As for naughtiness, You are the queen!


  5. I Gal,
    That's the problem - sometimes we don't even understand. How can they?

    That's my problem. I have live with only the dom in my head for 40years. When I do that sometimes I feel like I shut Nick out.

    Thanks Paul,
    Here's hoping.

    I've always wanted to write a book. Now I have my title.

    I know I need to keep doing my assignments but I always have a hard time convincing myself he still wants to hear it.