I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Saturday, December 30, 2006

What not to do.

When you feel unsettled, a little mad, slightly depressed and there is no apparent reason for any of it let me give you some pointers on how not to spend your day.

Don’t take one little thing that is annoying or bugging you and keep turning it over in your head until it gets bigger and bigger, way bigger than it needs to be.

Don’t spend the day in a house full of people trying to avoid talking to anyone. For one thing you will realize that no one really cares if you are talking or not and it will hurt your feelings.

When you take your daughter and a friend to pick up some lunch don’t spend the time waiting for them staring into a close-up mirror seeing every wrinkle, sag, dark circle, gray roots, etc

Don’t take the Christmas tree down by yourself and think that the little hands that made many of the ornaments probably won’t be living here in a few years.

Don’t beat yourself too much when you just chicken out and can’t make yourself go alone to the funeral of a former student who died of cancer two days after Christmas and was the same age as your daughter. God bless you Nathan.

Don’t listen to your ipod – this means all the music you care about because nearly every song has the potential to make you cry. And you don’t want to do that because you might not stop.

If I did anything right today it was emailing Eva who kept me from sinking further down. So I can add one more don't. Don't ignore good advice when you get it.


  1. Anonymous9:42 PM

    Love ya, Twin. You're going to be fine. I know the pain of losing a student or former... it sucks. BIG. For sure, do not beat yourself up.


  2. Warm Hugs and many warm thoughts.

  3. Anonymous7:24 AM

    Warm hugs from Kallisto and I!

    The little hands that made the ornaments may eventually move away, but they can and will come back, and eventually they will bring more little hands with them, which will be even better in many ways.

    We wish you all the best for the New Year!

  4. Anonymous12:04 PM

    I hate those days. This year, may they be few and far between for the both of us.

  5. What's wrong PK? Is it hormones or are you sad that 2006 is going away? I hope you are feeling better. But I am going to take your experienced advice on what NOT to do!

    Big Huggs
    Happy New Year

  6. P.S. So sorry about your student.


  7. Dear PK, we all have days like this, which sometimes turn into weeks, what we need at times like this are friends.
    I glad to see that you have many.
    May your days get better as the year turns.
    When the young die, it seems such a waste, be positive dear Elis and know that you are loved.
    Have a great 2007.
    Warm hugs,

  8. Thanks bunches Eva, you already helped in many ways!

    Cindy, Spanky, Kallisto, and Erica,
    Having the blog where I can post when I feel this way is wonderful. Having you leave comments makes me feel lucky to have found understanding here.

    Hormones are probably a good guess. I don't know usually I can stop these moods before they get such a grip but for some reason I didn't even try. I'm better today.

    Knowing that people I have met here care means everything to me. I don't think blggers can feel lonely for very long.


  9. Elis,

    TIGHT TIGHT hug. Let it go. Listen to your iPod if that's what it takes to let the tears out. But they have to come out. Can't stay inside you.

    It will feel almost as good as a stress-relief spanking. Almost.

    Hugs and hugs again,

  10. Thanks Dave, that hug felt good! I think maybe my stress relief spanking may be coming before long - I hope.


  11. PK,

    You've been there for me oh, so many times over when I needed a friend most of all, and you've stood by me no matter what, no matter when, no matter why. You are a one in a million soul and my heart aches for your feelings of loss at this time of year.

    But you are ever so strong that sometimes I think you forget to allow yourself to be human, too... that pain and sense of loss for you is very real and Dave's words ring true... even if you ARE feeling better today, allow yourself the luxury of those tears, whether they come from the music of your heart or Nick's ever loving hands on your bottom...

    Whatever you do, don't hold it all in and let it eat away at you. I am here for you, just as you've always been for me. And I love you very, very much. The best thing to remember is that it always gets better... even in the darkest of hours.

    Love and huge furry tiggry hugs,

  12. Hi Elis,

    We all have days like that. I hate that you have them too. People should never die young. It is so hard for us to understand and such a huge loss. I know what you are going through, I had a rough xmas week too (last week). I'll tell you about that in an email. Know that we are with you and love you. Big hugs from our whole family! I hope you get your destress spanking soon. It can really help!

    Hugs & Love,


  13. Tig,
    Thank you for coming by. It does help to know you are out there. I have learned a lot but the lesson of letting go and crying still eludes me. I'll work on it. Thanks for caring.

    Thank! I have missed you. I look forward to emailing more when things settle down.


  14. Hi Hon,

    Just wanted to leave a little condolence for your former student. Going to a childs funeral is probably the worst, and if you were going to have to go alone, then it was best to stay home and mourn in your own way!

    Extra Big HUGS!