Things used to be so peaceful, but now...

Fair warning – I’m going to rant a little and this is the only safe place.  I used to feel very close to Nick’s family. They are nice people, his baby brother met one of my best friends at our wedding and they married two years later. Our first sons were born five months apart and out second kids were thirteen months apart. All was well for many, many years.

LJ and his cousin weren’t close after about the age of ten. LJ loved theater in high school, graduated with honors, did the same in college and fulfilled his lifelong dream to move to NYC. He’s there, healthy, happy and doing well.

 

His cousin played baseball in high school, graduated, got and lost several jobs, developed a sever drug problem, got his girlfriend pregnant and sadly died of a drug overdose at the age of twenty when the baby was eleven months old.

 

In my view, the family still feels this cousin was the golden boy in the family – I mean he did play baseball in school. While LJ is the black sheep in the family because, after all, he’s gay. (Just FYI, this couples youngest son is also gay, but that fact is totally ignored by them.)

Sorry, I’m picking at old grievances. Current problem: This SIL and BIL raised the baby after their son died. He’s now fourteen. Both the parents have been vaccinated, but the grandson refuses to be. I feel he’s been influenced by his ‘good ‘ol boys’ friends on his ball teams and the rednecks at his church. First, it shouldn’t be his choice, he’s a child. True they can’t hold him down and force him to be vaccinated, but as his parents I feel all activities – playing ball, seeing friends, and certainly going up around his one hundred year old great-grandfather should STOP! But they keep bringing him.

 

Because of this, the newest member of the family, a beautiful eighteen-month-old couldn’t come for Thanksgiving. And also our amazing little warrior princess couldn’t come either. I have strong feeling about this and I’m sure you can guess what they are.

 

Nick’s family will never discus their feelings about anything. The sisters will never make waves, even the one who is grandmother to these two amazing little girls. As an in-law it may not be my place. But I am thinking of talking to the mothers of these little one and encouraging them to just ask straight out if the boy is going to be at the Christmas gathering, because if he is, that will prohibit their families from being able to come. I think it’s time to kick the elephant in the room right in the butt!

I'm mad enough at the situation that I feel I could get everyone told! But considering the age of Nick’s father I don’t want to be the one who begins a big family split. I guess I’ll just bitch and gripe about it to Nick and Mollie – and occasionally you guys. But I will let you know who come to the Christmas gathering.

The things I do for love...

I want to be a loving helpful wife, really I do. Except when Nick has to be at a medical procedure at 6:45 AM. Don't both Nick and the doctor know that retired people don't get up that early, much less get dress and go out?

Oh well, as many of you read this I'm waiting patiently for the medical staff to complete Nick's colonoscopy. With that thought in mind, I thought I'd post Cassie's story about her first test of this nature.

Cassie ~

I remember when my doctor first suggested that I have a colonoscopy years ago and how Tom and I disagreed as to the necessity of this test. Guess who won?

I don’t dislike doctors. I have my yearly physical, I do mammograms and most anything that they suggest but when he first suggested a colonoscopy, or as I call it ‘up periscope’ – well there are just some things that one person ought not do to another. At least unless there is an expensive dinner involved.

When I went to my physical several years ago the doctor did suggest this test because of family history. I thanked him for the information and decided to ignore it. Unfortunately, I left the pamphlet on the kitchen counter when I came home and nosy Tom picked it up. He asked me if the doctor wanted me to have this test. I tried to be vague but it didn’t work. He insisted that I call the next day and sit up an appointment. I forgot, he didn’t. He called at lunch to see if I had made the appointment and when I said no he said that he would make it for me.

I wasn’t convinced that this test was such a good idea. Several days before the appointment Tom reminded me of it and I said, “Oh didn’t I tell you, the doctor’s office said I had to reschedule.” Now that was not a lie – that is exactly what they said when I called to cancel the appointment. I was planning to do it eventually; I just needed to get mentally prepared.

He asked me if I had rescheduled and I told him that I had. He asked me if I was sure assured him that I was. And I really should have written down the date that I had rescheduled it to, but I forgot. I also managed to erase the phone message from the office to remind me. Truly my memory is terrible at times.

My doctor and Tom meet at the golf course occasionally and when they did the doctor asked Tom if I was planning to take that test that I kept missing. Is this legal? When he got home from golf he called to me as he came in the door. I could tell from his tone that he was not happy with me. As I came into the living room he started. “Cassie Jane, I’m going to wear you out!” I wasn’t sure what he was mad about, there were usually several things going on in my life back then that it could have been.

He said, “First thing you’re going to call and reschedule that appointment.” Oh, shoot – it was that. He had me put the phone on speaker and stood right there listening as I tried to reschedule. The receptionist was saying, “Now ma’am you canceled the first appointment and you didn’t show up on the date that it was rescheduled. Do you think you will be able to make it this time?” 

Seeing the look on Tom’s face I was able to assure her that I would be there.

When I hung up Tom said, “You canceled the first appointment? You said the doctor’s office said you had to reschedule.” 

“They did say that,” I told him. Then added quietly, “After I canceled.” 

Tom didn’t like any of this and told me to wait on him in the bedroom. When finally came up he said, “You know two things that I will not put up with, neglecting your health and lying to me. What do you think I should do?” After giving it a moment’s thought, I told him that I thought I needed a stern warning and hot sex to help me remember the afternoon. Tom told me that I wouldn’t have any problem remembering the afternoon, unfortunately, he was correct even though he did not take my suggestion.

He used both the school paddle and the hair brush and he burnt me up! Who knew getting mentally prepared started from the bottom up? He also made me take my pants down myself before he put me over his lap. That is always the worse for me. This man does not like me to be less than honest with him, nor does he want me skipping doctor visits. I don’t think I have skipped a doctor’s appointment since that day. But he is just too picky about what he calls lying. Omitting is not lying, withholding is not lying, and forgetting to tell something is not lying! He just interprets the word too strictly. I can say honestly to all of you that I am always the perfect lady, in manner, in word and in deportment. See, exaggerating isn’t lying either, it’s just being creative.

I took the stupid test and it wasn’t horrible although the preparation is not my favorite way to spend an evening. But for the test I was asleep and when all was said and done I did get an expensive dinner out of it.

LOL - l do Love our Lifestyle!

Welcome and thank you for coming! Whether this is your first time or you’re by daily, I’m really happy that you’re here. I’m always happy when anyone stops by.

Love our Lifestyle, there’s a statement that fits me to a tee! I have loved this lifestyle since before I knew that it was a real life style. I remember making up my first ‘spanking story’ when I was four and it’s been on my mind ever since.

 

For me the ‘perfect’ spanking relationship (and I know that there is no such thing) involves many types of spankings – sexy, fun, reconnecting, stress relieving … and for me, just a touch of discipline. I know, I’ve seen, how spanking in a relationship can bring a couple so much closer. 

 

I guess I really want to speak to those of you who know you want the lifestyle, but can’t quite bring yourselves to ask your partner for it. Please, do it! I really don’t think you’ll regret giving it a try. But I also know that having someone to discuss the lifestyle with is very, very helpful. Having many, many blogs when I began was a Godsend. So try to find someone to discuss your experiences with, begin a blog yourself or email me – I love discussing spanking. 

elisspeaks@yahoo.com 

And if you find yourself with time to read go back and look at some of my archives, you have fifteen years’ worth to check out.

 

Here are a few samples for you to click on and see if you like them. 

Ten Important Things

Going without Prozac

Perfect Day

The importance of touch

Thank you so much for stopping by and please leave a comment if possible, they are so welcomed!

Disaster Averted, almost

It was such a simple everyday thing. I made a grocery order and picked it up. This was a larger than normal order so I have bags all over the counter as I brought everything in. That’s when it happened.

 

How can something happen in an instant, yet go in slow motion at the same time? A large, and I mean large, glass jar of spaghetti sauce rolled across the counter and fell toward my tile floor. I’ve seen glass jars hit my floor before. They don’t just break, they explode. I could see all this sauce splashing on all the cabinet doors, my pale green wall and in my tiny kitchen making its way to most of my appliances. I could see hours of mopping up and cleaning all the nooks and crannies it was bound to cover – and that’s not mentioning the shards of glass everywhere.

 

But instead of what I was dreading something totally different happened. This huge falling glass jar which weighed, and I’m estimating here, just over a ton, landed on my big toe rather than the floor. At least the jar didn’t break, as for my toe…

Curse words were said. But thank goodness I don’t think the toe broke either. It’s bruised and tender, but it will heal. And once it was all over with, including the cursing, I decided the sore toe was way better than all the cleaning I would have been left with if the toe had been somewhere else. 

 

As I’ve said before – no good can come from me being in the kitchen!

Staying comfortable

I’ve never been one to ‘hate’ winter. I don’t hate it now, but you might want to check with me again at the end of February. I don’t have to go out and fight the cold daily like so any do. Plus I live in the south. But, yes, it does get cold here. I think the teens and twenties count as cold, but admittedly it doesn’t usually stay that cold for long stretches. We can sit here and wish for snow because if we are blessed with two to three inches it will often be 50 degrees the next day and it’s all gone.

 

One of my biggest questions when I do go out in the cold is whether or not to take a coat. I remember once when LJ and Collin were here visiting from NYC. I watched as they got ready to visit another friend. They had on thick socks and heavy shoes. They had on T-shirts and pulled on heavy sweaters over that. Then they wrapped their scarves around their necks and crossed it over their chests before pulling on a heavy coat and zipped it up. They secured knit caps on their heads and pulling on leather gloves. Finally as they got ready to walk out the door I asked, “You think you’re warm enough to make it to the car?” which stood about four feet from the door. Only then did it dawn on them that they weren’t going to have to walk blocks and blocks in the bitter cold.

I’m not wild about coats. I can heat up my car before I get in and I have heated seats. I’d much rather freeze hurrying from the car to the entrance of wherever I’m going than to drag a big coat around as I shop. Sweaters are good, I can deal with that and I usually have a coat in the car for emergencies. But I rarely wear one, maybe once or twice each winter.

 

What about where you live? Do you have to wear a coat all winter? For those of you who are tired of snow way before Christmas, I wish you a mild winter. For those of us who long for snow, I hope we get to see a little.

Nothing

Is it fair to write a blog post about nothing? What if that’s all you got? I’m writing because sometimes once you begin something will come to you. Doesn’t seem to be working. The weather is dreary, and I’m having real trouble with writer’s block. 

 

There are problems within my publishing company. It mostly rumors and hearsay. Some things I believe others I’m not sure of. But I don’t know what to do about sending my next book in and it just gets my writing juices in a jumble. 

 

When I can’t write I get really down. Between that and the weather and the never ending covid situation, I’m struggling. Basically this is my life right now.

I'd rather be braless

There is too much going on! For the last eighteen months or so staying home has been the norm. I didn’t like that we had to, but I’m such a home body I didn’t mind doing it. Now I’ve been out and about every day for the past week and more. Some of the stuff was lots of fun, but there were doctor visits too. Nothing wrong, just regular check-ups. Plus my Covid booster which I was happy to have, but I still had to put on a bra and shoes and leave the house – not fun!

 

Some of the fun stuff was a day trip with Nick to a beautiful estate not too far away. The gardens are amazing! 

And then Mollie invited me over to get a few pictures of my grand dogs. Lucy is really growing. Look at these pretty babies.

But now I want to just stay home – sweats, no bra, warm socks  and time to write for a while – books, blogs, emails… I don’t care but that’s the plan for the next few days!

Simple questions can sometimes get you thinking.

I enjoyed this meme that Ronnie shared. Some meme are just light hearted fun but every once and a while you stumble onto a question that you really needed to answer.

One of the first to welcome you to blogging?

Although I found Bonnie first, I can’t think about the beginnings of my blogging days without thinking of Eva at Nothing Random. She was brand new at the time also and we became fast friends. She challenged me, encouraged me, taught me the ins and outs of blogging and we emailed one another constantly during the day. Over the years we visited in one another’s homes and vacationed together. It was an amazing friendship that blossomed for me in my middle age and I’ll always be grateful.

There were others here at the very beginning, Paul, Theresa, Grace and Ceeci, they were, are still, dear to me.

Knickers up/on or down/off?

I always liked to start with them up, but that never seemed to last long.

Current favorite - wood or leather?

Wood is just fine for fantasy, but I’ll always go with leather in real life.

Have you ever gotten spanked for swearing?

 

Nope, I don’t swear much and Nick never cared.

Have you ever been caned?

Well… we have several canes and Nick has used them on me. But I’m really not sure of the answer to this question.

What do you get spanked with the most?

We don’t partake anymore, but the dogging bat was always one of our favorites. 

Have you been spanked more than once in a day?

Yes I have.

Have you ever asked to be spanked for something you did wrong?

Yes, but very seldom. 

On average how many times are you spanked a month?

Now days, zero.

How long have you been practicing TTWD ?

Such a thought provoking question. We began in 2006 and we gave it a truly good effort for the next eight to ten years. Then we spent a few more years starting and stopping, communicating and not communicating. Then I spent another year being alternately mad, excited, frustrated, hopeful, full of anticipation, joyful and depressed. All those emotions slamming me in different directions day after day got to be too much. I love Nick more than anything, but for my own mental well-being I stepped away from TTWD. We are still happily married, but I still find myself at times wishing we still had that special closeness that TTWD brings.

A beautiful little girl

I’ve had several ask about my great-niece. She had her first brain surgery on July 6. The surgery was looking for the areas of her brain where the epileptic seizures originated. So 17 leads were placed in the brain and removed a week later. But this didn’t tell the doctors what they needed to know.

 

A second surgery was planned about six weeks ago, but when they arrived at the hospital they found out the surgery had to be postponed – covid had taken over the hospital.  So the second surgery finally took place about three weeks ago. This time they had to remove a portion of her skull, place a ‘mesh’ on the brain to continue looking for the parts that start the seizures. A week later part of the skull was removed again and the mesh removed so they could study the data.

 

Two areas were identified. One spot was the half the size of a man’s fist the other smaller, but in a ‘more difficult place’ as they put it. Surgery was done – I have no details. I don’t know if the places were removed, ‘blasted’ or what. But I know they were so very relieved when her dad spoke to as she was waking up and told her he loved her and she answered, “I love you too, Daddy.” A few hours late she walked to the bathroom.

 

I have no information about whether or not the surgery lessened the seizures, but I know the biggest problem for this little one was the shaving off of her beautiful long blonde hair. She says she’s so ugly now with no hair and the scar. What do you say to an eight year old (I hadn’t realized she was that old)? 

 

Her mother is a part time photographer and decided to do a photoshoot of her. She told her while she was still as pretty as a princess she now had the scar of a warrior that would soon be hidden when her hair grew back – but that she would know it was there. A sign of the fierce warrior she had been as a child.  

 

And with her mother’s permission here is her picture.

A meme from the old days

I came across this from years back and thought I'd try it again. I'd love for others to try it too.

Who’s the oldest?

 

Nick is five and a half years older. I’m his child bride.

Who was interested first?

 

I guess he was, I’m not really sure. We had run into each other at a local bar and at friend’s houses and we’d talked. But he was the one who called for a date.

 

Same high school?

 

Oh no, I went to the good one.

 

Most sensitive?

 

I would say me. But sometimes I wonder. We’re still not good at opening up to one another.

 

Worse temper?

 

Neither one of us has much of a temper. We just tend to go with the flow.

More social?

 

That would be me. But since Covid, I not very social either. We do have one couple we go out with when we can.

 

More stubborn?

 

Maybe that would be me. 

 

Wakes up first?

 

Nick! Always Nick. If he was in bed when I woke up I would be checking his pulse.

 

Bigger family?

 

That would be Nick – there are five kids in his family. This really comes in handy as they take care of his dad.

 

Flowers?

 

He doesn’t send them often. Maybe once a year or less. But that’s fine with me.

Cooks the most?

 

We do both cook a little. He probably does a little more than I do.

 

Cries more? 

 

Now that would be me. Not about real things, I'm very stoic about real things. But sad stories or show often have me in tears.

 

Better singer?

 

Me! It’s not that I can sing well but he doesn’t sing at all. Not in the shower, not with the radio, not even happy birthday.

 

Said I love you first?

 

I guess we’ve been together a long time. I don’t remember.

 

Better driver?

 

I drive just fine, but I don’t like doing it so I’d rather him do most of the driving.

 

Hogs the remote?

 

I always have the remote. I don’t mind going up and down on the volume when it needs it. Also he does a lot of talking when I’m trying to hear the TV, and I don’t mind hitting pause and talking a while. And I know which are which.

Clothes and shoe hoarder? 

 

I think both of us are a little guilty of this. But he can wear all the old clothes he has since his weight hasn’t changed in the past forty years. Let’s just say mine has. 

 

 

Why I wanted to drive a forklift

Some of you asked about my desire to be a forklift driver. I had a very specific reason for wanting this job. This was back over forty years ago. I was working for a veterinary as his technician. I’d been there about five years. I love the work but I was beginning to realize it couldn’t be a life-long career, the pay was low and there were no benefits back then. I really loved the Vet though, I had a big crush on him even though he had a temper and knew how to use it. But I did begin to think of other possible careers. 

I was just beginning to think about what I wanted to do when a tragedy hit the vet hospital. Doc’s twenty-year-old son was killed by a drunk driver just one month after he’d been married. We were a small hospital and it devastated us all. Doc, as you can imagine, was full of rage and nowhere to dump it. He couldn’t be ugly to the clients, he couldn’t scream at his family. That left his employees. Doc and I were close, I could usually talk him down when he got angry but it seemed constant. I talked to the clients who asked me about his son, I talked with Doc’s wife and his younger son. I felt like all I did was talk and talk and talk. I’d finally had all I could take and I told Doc I was leaving. I remember his body just sagged as he realized just how horrible he’d been acting. I still cared for him, but I just couldn’t stay. 

 

But I’d finally decided what I wanted to do. I was going to learn to be a forklift driver. It seemed perfect. The attraction - I could go in do my job and not talk to anyone! That’s what I craved more than anything, the idea that I wouldn’t have to talk at all!

But something happened. I never learned to drive a forklift, instead I ended up becoming a teacher. I wanted a job where I’d never have to talk to anyone and I became a teacher. I never have figured out exactly how that happened.

About that O2 level

I had a couple of people asking about the answers on my meme. Some wanted to know about the talk with the nurse about my 02 levels. I want to know more about it myself. Mollie pestered her dad into getting me a new iWatch about a year ago. It has all the bells and whistles, it checks for Afib, it detects a fall and calls for help, it tells me how fast my heart beat is and it checks blood oxygen levels. I never gave much thought to these O2 levels, but I took them occasionally. And usually they were between 95 and 100. Seemed fine. But lately that hasn’t been the case. Much of the time the reading are in the high to mid-80's. And once, I repeat only once, back last January it dropped to 68% blood oxygen. The watch keeps records for the year.

I have never felt a thing wrong. I have no cold or covid symptoms. I do not feel short of breath in any way. Basically I don’t know if I need a doctor or a new watch. When I did talk to the nurse about it, she had me come in just so she could check it and at that time it was 96, and my watch said the same thing. My doctor wasn’t there that day and no one’s called me back so I guess they’re not worried.    

 

I check my heart rate too. The range bothers me, usually when I check it in the 70's. But last Friday the range went from 46 to 111 and on Saturday it went from 58 to 175, it was only that high for just a minute. Again, do I need a new watch or what? I have no desire to spend time at the hospital for test these day. So for the most part, I’m doing nothing. I hope that solves it.  

                    

Love a good meme

I've always love a good meme. Go check out Ronnie, Hermione and Morningstar's answers.

~~

What can you see out of your window?

Our back yard surrounded by the woods behind our house.

Choose five words to describe yesterday.

 

Reading, cleaning, walking, not cooking, relaxing

The most memorable deaths in your lifetime (other than family)?

 

JFK, Martin Luther King, Jr., Bobby Kennedy, Elvis

Tell us 3 things about yourself that your readers don't know.

 

If I haven’t written it by now, I probably don’t want you to know. Hmm… I wanted to be a forklift driver, I kinda want a Golden Retriever puppy and I kinda don’t, Sunday morning at the most stressful time of the week for me.

What was the last conversation you had with someone?

 

Talked with a nurse yesterday about my low oxygen levels.

Tell us about a kindness from someone.

 

I didn’t have my rewards card at the grocery store yesterday and the lady in front of me offered her.

What was the last song you heard?

 

Hot Stuff – when watching a little of Dancing with the Stars

What is the most expensive item you have bought in the past month?

 

I finally broke down and got a new phone. They aren’t cheap these days!

What three things would you take to a desert island?

 

A good survival kit, a stack of books, GPS satellite phone to get me home.

What are your plans for the weekend.

 

Nick invited his golf buddies for dinner tonight (I don’t  like to cook or entertain) and he invited one of them to spend the night (I don’t have overnight guest.) So I guess I’m going to spend the weekend outside my comfort zone.

 

 

The Inexpensive Wife

Do you have a guilty pleasure? Is there something that your loving partner complains about you overspending on? Mine came up the other day and I had to laugh. We’ve had our first really cool crisp mornings, I love them. I love the bedroom being cold and the bed with lots of blankets and quilts and a nice warm husband in it.

 

But when I get to my writing room I love my gas logs on to warm my feet. This year, before I even asked, Nick turn on the gas and lit the pilot for me. Heaven… but he added as he left the room, “Don’t run it all the time!”

I had to laugh. I remember well when things were pretty tight money-wise. House payments, car payments, college tuition for LJ all when Nick was out of work for nearly two years. But Nick and I were raised by parents who had lived through the great depression and we knew how to both cut back and save.

 

It was just instinct for him to remind me to watch the gas bill. But I didn’t let him get away with it. I told him I’d rather save money by him not sending me expensive flowers every 

week, to stop buying me jewelry, we wouldn’t buy a new car every few years or taking exotic vacations. Maybe I’d cut down on the designer clothes and forget about the Louboutin shoes. Except, he doesn’t sent me flowers. I don’t wear any jewelry except my wedding ring. I get a car every ten years or so and the last one I got was my first new car ever. As for vacations, if we go anywhere it will be his choice. I’m a home body. I haven’t bought new clothes in a year and I’ve never had designer anything. As for Louboutin shoes… forget it! I’m more of a Skechers girl.

So since I’m not demanding any of those things, I asked him, “Just where should we put the money we'll save if I cut down on the gas bill? The golf course perhaps?”

This was not a fight in anyway, just friendly teasing. I have no doubt that through the cold weather months, each time the gas bill comes, Nick will come to the writing room telling me the exactly how much the bill is, and I’ll answer, “And worth every penny!” 

 

 

Where did the dark go?

Not long ago I was having trouble sleeping. This is very unusual for me. I tossed and turned for a while before getting up to get something to drink. I didn’t bother to turn on any lights as I made my way to the kitchen and I saw something that I’d never realized before. I couldn’t believe the number of lights that were on in our house.

Little lights everywhere!

I started counting. We had on twenty-seven lights on in the house. Twenty-seven! We still have a landline – don’t ask me why. So that accounted for four of the tiny lights, one on the base and one on each of the three phones. The kitchen was bright with lights on the refrigerator giving me the internal temperature of both the fridge and the freezer. Then there was a clock on the microwave, and on the over as well as the small screen Alexa Mollie gave us. 

 

I continued my tour. In my writing room there was one of the phones, but also the clock on the coffee maker, the electric fence base for the grand dogs and the sweep up vacuum.  One spare bedroom had a cordless vacuum who’s charging light shone brightly. And the other bedroom had a digital clock.

 

The living room had a clock, the TV box, the Apple TV, a charger I have for the phone and a Kindle as well as an internet booster box with three little lights. Both bathrooms have a small night light and then in our bedroom were the lights on the TV and box again and two red lights that shine out from the back of the TB. Nick has his clock and the phone and base on his side and on my side of the bed I have a power strip for my phone charger and my… my… well a few toys. 

I miss dark.

I couldn’t believe how many of these insidious little specks of light were in my house. All using vampire energy I suppose. I’m just wondering if I’m the only one. When you turn out all the lights tonight, take another swing through the house and see how many lights you have.