Fair warning – I’m going to rant a little and this is the only safe place. I used to feel very close to Nick’s family. They are nice people, his baby brother met one of my best friends at our wedding and they married two years later. Our first sons were born five months apart and out second kids were thirteen months apart. All was well for many, many years.
LJ and his cousin weren’t close after about the age of ten. LJ loved theater in high school, graduated with honors, did the same in college and fulfilled his lifelong dream to move to NYC. He’s there, healthy, happy and doing well.
His cousin played baseball in high school, graduated, got and lost several jobs, developed a sever drug problem, got his girlfriend pregnant and sadly died of a drug overdose at the age of twenty when the baby was eleven months old.
In my view, the family still feels this cousin was the golden boy in the family – I mean he did play baseball in school. While LJ is the black sheep in the family because, after all, he’s gay. (Just FYI, this couples youngest son is also gay, but that fact is totally ignored by them.)
Sorry, I’m picking at old grievances. Current problem: This SIL and BIL raised the baby after their son died. He’s now fourteen. Both the parents have been vaccinated, but the grandson refuses to be. I feel he’s been influenced by his ‘good ‘ol boys’ friends on his ball teams and the rednecks at his church. First, it shouldn’t be his choice, he’s a child. True they can’t hold him down and force him to be vaccinated, but as his parents I feel all activities – playing ball, seeing friends, and certainly going up around his one hundred year old great-grandfather should STOP! But they keep bringing him.
Because of this, the newest member of the family, a beautiful eighteen-month-old couldn’t come for Thanksgiving. And also our amazing little warrior princess couldn’t come either. I have strong feeling about this and I’m sure you can guess what they are.
Nick’s family will never discus their feelings about anything. The sisters will never make waves, even the one who is grandmother to these two amazing little girls. As an in-law it may not be my place. But I am thinking of talking to the mothers of these little one and encouraging them to just ask straight out if the boy is going to be at the Christmas gathering, because if he is, that will prohibit their families from being able to come. I think it’s time to kick the elephant in the room right in the butt!
I'm mad enough at the situation that I feel I could get everyone told! But considering the age of Nick’s father I don’t want to be the one who begins a big family split. I guess I’ll just bitch and gripe about it to Nick and Mollie – and occasionally you guys. But I will let you know who come to the Christmas gathering.
Hi PK, oh gosh, I am so sorry to read this. Rant away, that is what we are here for, to lend an ear:)
ReplyDeleteFirstly, what an absolute tragedy your nephew losing his life so young was. I can totally understand you being mad. What really angers me about the anti vaxers is the selfishness of their decision. No thought for how their decision impacts others. You can probably tell I have very strong views on this issue. Of course, at 14, this kid isn't thinking about anybody else. I think it's such a shame that two families missed the Thanksgiving celebrations as they had to protect vulnerable family members. I agree they probably should find out if this kid and family are going to be at the Christmas celebrations.
I think you have touched on an issue many people are going to face this Christmas, who's going to be there? Is it safe? Etc. Vaccination status has become the new topic you don't raise, like religion and politics. We all need to do what we can to keep ourselves safe and to protect vulnerable loved ones.
Wow, ok, I think I just ranted lol. I apologise.
Hugs
Roz
I appreciate your willingness to rant with me! I'm so frustrated and I don't see it getting better.
Deleteohhhhhhhh PK I can feel your angst!! At least with all the problems I have with the lil one's family I don't have to deal with them being anti-vaxers. I would be livid!!
ReplyDeleteI'm still trying to wrap my head around a 14 year old making the choice to not vaccinate...... WTF?? whose in charge in that house??? 14??!! and how unfair that parts of the family can't join holiday celebrations!! makes my blood boil!!
Mine too! And in the past I would have have called him a good kid, respectful and caring. I don't know who got to him on this, but his folks to watch FOX news.
DeleteOh gosh, i think it's just rude to be unvaccinated and in the presence of a high-risk person. I would be livid.
ReplyDeleteAnd i would totally ask who was going to be present if i was going to bring my elderly family member along to a group event.
Rant away. That's what we're here for.
I understand a 14 year-old being stupid - but his folks continue to bring him up around his elderly great-grand father. And I know that they are not stupid - so what gives?
DeleteI'd be totally made about him not wanting to be vaccinated. Has any told him about the princess not being able to be at family gatherings because he hasn't had the jab? I hope he changes his mind.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Ronnie
xx
I'm not sure if anyone has said that directly to him - but again his parents certainly know. Yet they still brought him up.
DeleteI think it's rude and inconsiderate for them to bring this unvaccinated child (and yes, he is still a child) and expose him to a 100 year old man and exclude other family members because of a selfish act. Shame on him and his parents and the rest of the family for not stepping up and speaking their mind, especially the parents of the excluded family. You do what you think is right, but the other parents should speak up. After all, it's their children and their father. So much for my two cents.
ReplyDeleteIt did come up this Sunday and voices were raised. Unfortunately the wrong ones. I'll blog about that soon.
DeleteBlogger (being a butt as usual) wouldn't let someone comment so they emailed me. They said...
ReplyDeleteBoy do I hear you - we broke with my hubs family after a truly hideous experience that hurt Hubs horribly. Haven't seen them in years and don't miss the drama at all. We're really better for it. Maybe you can plan a thing with the grandfather and the little girls and not mention it to the holdouts. Those girls need to know their great-grandfather.
I really don't want to break with the family. I just want the idiot boy to be vaccinated!
DeletePk - This is you place and best place for you to rant.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately situations like these seem common these days. I know two families going through similar. The difference is that in their situations, it is an entire family refusing the vaccines.
I don’t understand how your BIL and SIL are vaccinated, but not forcing the 14 year to be. That is where the kid needs to be told the harsh reality that he is putting other family members lives in literal danger. At 14 most kids don’t have a concept of life or death. I’ve known plenty of 20 somethings who don’t either let alone some barely teenager.
Best,
Enzo
I certainly don't get it either. If the kid stepped on a rusty nail would they let him refuse a tetanus shot? We may not all get covid and die, but I don't thing anyone is going to get out of this mess undamaged.
DeleteWell this is hot mess and there is so much to unpack here. Not sure that a conversation will be effective but you may feel better having given it a try. I can't help but to feel sad that the others had to miss this family event because of a 14-year-old who apparently runs his family.
ReplyDeleteThese are definitely crazy times. I do hope it will work for you all for Christmas.
It all seems so strange to me. This is usually a good kid. Good parents, and I know that they care. Somethings gone wrong and I don't know what.
DeleteI am sorry this is such a difficult situation. I have no answers...only hugs.
ReplyDeleteAnd I appreciate the hugs!
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