Diet update

Now about the diet effort. Hmmmm… can I give you the excuses first? I have plenty.

Let’s start

• I’ve had a cold and I’ve felt bad.

• I’ve been extra stressed at work.

• I had to stop the diet pills because I needed to start on steroids for my arthritis. The steroids make you hungry, make you gain and make you crabby.

• Last week was teacher appreciation week; Monday we were treated to a huge BBQ lunch (pulled pork as well as BBQ chicken and all the fixin’s). Tuesday we each got a bag of candy. Wednesday was dessert and fruit day. Thursday we had cinnamon biscuits. And on Friday we had brownies with ice cream and all the toppings.

• When I feel bad or mad or crabby or stressed I feel like I deserve a treat only once I start that kind of thinking and I start snacking – I don’t stop.

Okay by listing all these excused you might have guessed that I gained this week. I won’t tell you exactly how much because I didn’t even share that with Nick. Let’s just say more than I wanted to. I am feeling totally disconnected from the whole diet effort for some reason. Nick knows I’ve been down with my cold and I just haven’t been myself lately. So I figured this Friday was a freebie. At least my cold did ease up Friday and I headed to the gym after school.

Saturday morning felt so good. I love sleeping in this time of year when the mornings are cool and we can have the window up a bit and snuggle. We were curled up peacefully for a while then Nick got up. Not unusual, I love to sleep about a half hour later than he does. But it wasn’t to be this Saturday.

I vaguely heard the drawer of the night stand open before my covers were pulled away and Nick started on my rear with the hairbrush. Warn a girl already! He was talking during his spanking – “I know you gained this week. I know it was teacher appreciation week and you deserve some of those treats, but did you go over board? Did you go to the gym when you could? Have you been doing too much snacking in addition to all that?” He wasn’t really waiting for answers as he continued “You have been crabby, and in a bad mood and you haven’t written me any assignments to let me know what’s going on.” I don’t like that hairbrush at all but I do like the fact that he was taking the time to let me know he was paying attention.

When he finished he said “Now get up.” I was wondering why he wanted me to get up so early when he continued, “Put in your ben-wa balls and put on a tee-shirt – no pants and come to breakfast.” Okay, that got my attention. I got up and did as I was told. Our morning was normal except for my attire and toys. I checked my email and the blogs – squirming just a little with no pants on and a freshly spanked bottom.

Shortly I got an email from Nick telling me to I could retire to the bedroom and play with my vibrators for a bit before calling him back to do my ‘sexy wife – how can I get back in his good graces act’. Nick knows that my vibrator help me get in the right mind frame sometimes. When I called Nick back to the bedroom I was sure I had some ideas that he would like. But before I could initiate my plan I found myself over his knee again as he asked “Who told you you could remove the ben-wa balls?” I do love a good hand spanking!

I said “I thought I could …”

“Maybe you should ask next time.” he told me.

It was a nice spanking and I soon was doing everything I could to show him my appreciation. We had the house to ourselves, we could play as long as we wanted, still had a cool breeze coming through the window – we had a wonderful morning.

Work is still stressful. I have lost my focus on the diet for the moment. I need to get a handle on my snacking. I need to work on doing my assignment for Nick. From now until mid-June my stress levels are not going down in any way. I hope Nick will help me get my mind back to the right place. Although I am somewhat of a stress eater my biggest eating trigger is general boredom.

The whole idea of the spanking diet, of being told what to do or not do, having rules that Nick will enforce – all these things make me feel cared for, and they keep my mind intrigued and focused. It gives me something to hang on to, something to think about besides eating. It’s kept me willing to work on the weight for 3 years, it’s given me a whole new view of marriage and it’s not something I want to give up.

Ooooooooo...Gradituesday

Orgasm
Orgasm
Orgasm
Orgasm
Orgasm – multiple is the only way to go!

Obey – interesting concept. Like it in theory. Haven't tried it much in real life.

Observe – I love to sit and watch sometimes. Not drawn into a discussion or a situation but to just be a observer.



Oreos - I love these plain, crushed over ice cream or most especially battered and deep fried!!





Occasion – I love special occasions. I like people to get together and have a good time.




Ocean – The beauty, the power, the feel. Who doesn’t love sitting on the beach watching the waves crash?




Old-fashion – Isn’t that what we dream about, an old-fashion marriage. At least there are many aspects that I think I would love. I really prefer to think of marriages as old fashion rather than DD.




Organized - I love to be organized but I'm not all that good at staying that way.





And last but not least -- this is something I wrote over two years ago. On the evening I wrote it it was a true life current event. I thought some of you that hadn't seen it might like it.

‘Ode to a Repair Man’


or

How to help your HOH replace a dishwasher
while the pipes under the sink fall apart as he touches them.

Have you ever tried to help install or replace a dishwasher, or some other appliance? I have some tips:

Rule one – Shut up! He does not want your help verbally; he does not want your opinion, your suggestions or anything else from you that requires speech!

Do stay close! This is not the time to sit at the computer and laugh your ass off at someone’s post, relax in front of the tube or chat on the phone to a friend. This is especially true if the phone conversation includes how long it is taking to get the appliance installed (see rule one)

Other helpful hints would include learning the names of basic tools. If he asks for a wrench, he does not want the needle nose pliers. Do not ask “Well can’t you just use that?” (see rule one)

Realize that 99% of his questions are rhetorical and do not require an answer. Questions like “Where did I put the damn screw?” “Why is this piece of shit falling apart?” and “Who needs a fucking dishwasher in the first place?” should not be answered! (see rule one)

Try to keep the flash light shinning in the direction he is looking. If you stare longing back toward the computer the light will veer away from the correct spot. If he grabs it out of you hand, don’t say “Your head got in the way!”(see rule one)

Lastly but not least - all finger gestures must be done out of sight of the HOH and comments like ‘Bite me’ and ‘Kiss my ass’, while perfectly acceptable, must be said in you head, not muttered aloud! (see rule one)

Oh, did I tell you guy that Nick got the dishwasher reinstalled last night?


The diet up date is coming tomorrow.

My last few days

You’re getting two posts for the price of one today. One I wrote Wednesday when I was in a bad mood, annoyed and my feelings were hurt. The other I wrote several days later when I was feeling more like myself.

If there is one thing I have learned blogging is to write when you are in any mood – good, bad, sexy or blah. Writing always helps me –but never post anything you write when you are in a bad mood for several days. Just wait, see if your feelings change or that there may be more to add to it.

So for the first part of this post let me tell you a little more about Nick. I feel that I do a good job telling you all about Nick’s good point. There are many! He is loving and funny and calm and good natured. He does the cooking, much of the cleaning, the grocery shopping, the laundry, the yard work. He listened to my gripes and complaints about work and commiserates without telling me what I should do about it.

He is a wonderful spanker (when I can get him to) and a skilled and thoughtful lover.

He pets me and pampers me and spoils me and I think that any of the bloggers I’ve had the privilege of meeting in person will confirm this.

But as good as he is there is another side of him. No one is perfect and like everyone else Nick does have bad habits. And while I am not, and never will be a husband basher, I feel that if I can point out all his good points here I should be able to use this blog to gripe about him when I need to.

So I want to point our some of Nick bad habits. Here goes –


• He makes me trim his hair. I know I am going to screw up some day and gap it (there’s an idea to get him to stop asking!).

• Occasionally road grumpiness (I can’t call it road rage but I still don’t like it).

• He doesn’t spank often enough.

• When he does spank, it’s not long enough.

• When we do make an attempt at discipline he is not consistent.



And the worse – the thing I hate the most and something he is just going to have to change -

• He can't read my mind
  

This is the one I just can’t put up with any longer! It was this short coming that caused me to write the post I wrote several days ago. Here’s what I wrote…



Wednesday we took Mollie to the science and math camp she was selected for. It’s about 180 miles from home. Although she has been going to a week long camp each year since she was eight she was a little nervous when we got there. But she seemed to quickly warm up. As I write this after we got home Wednesday she has already text that all is well and she’s having a great time. We’ll be picking her up Mother’s Day.

Something happened on our way back from taking Mollie Wednesday that made me think of my mother and something she used to do. Mom and dad owned their own business and so they worked together every day. After I left home my mom (like me now) didn’t like cooking too much. Often she would start hinting to my dad in the late after noon. Over several hours she would say things like ‘I don’t know what I want for supper tonight’ or ‘I don’t feel much like cooking tonight’. Maybe later she would say ‘I don’t think we have anything at the house to fix tonight’. Now all she wanted was to go out to eat on their way home. But she would never ask directly and my poor dad was no good at all in picking up these obvious hints.

Now if she had said “Let’s go out and eat tonight.” Dad would have said “That’s a good idea, where do you want to go”. But she preferred to continue to do it her way. I was often exasperated with her when I would find her mad and pouting. I would tell her “So you really enjoy being mad at Daddy for not reading your mind more than you enjoy eating out?”

What Daddy got from all the supper comments was ‘She tired, not much food at the house, guess I’m make myself a PB&J when we get home.” What Mom got from him not taking her out to eat was hurt feelings and the thought “He doesn’t care about me.”

So what happened to make me think of this? Nick won’t read my mind either and sometimes it hurts my feelings and I think he doesn’t care. I guess I was hoping he would say something about my posts last Sunday and Tuesday. I don’t know what I wanted him to say, but something. I did ask if he read the first one and he said yes but that’s all. But coming back from taking Mollie he spotted a sign for an adult toy store,


When he pointed it our and made a commit about it I was thinking, “Well, maybe he is still interested. After all, Mother’s day is coming, and our anniversary – we have 3 full days alone! We’re a hundred miles from home and we're all alone; this will be a great time for a shopping trip!”

But as we neared the exit I realized he wasn’t going to stop. I guess it had never really occurred to him, I just thought it had. He had just been pointing out the sign. But because he didn’t read my mind, it hurt my feelings and I felt like he didn’t care. Now just like my mom wanting to eat out all I had to do was to say “Let’s stop and look around.” But I didn’t. I wanted him to want to.

So I just got quiet and nursed my hurt feelings. I should be over getting upset when Nick doesn’t read my mind. I guess I own Nick an apology for not just saying something. But I also might owe my mother an apology too. Maybe I understand a little more how she felt.

~~~~oo0oo~~~~

I let this bother me for a day or so but I never said anything to Nick because I knew it was stupid to have let me bother me in the first place. By Friday I was feeling better and by Saturday (with some attention from Nick) I was feeling much better. But that’s another post.

Fantasy Friday - Training Lisa - part III

Is it Friday? Oh, please tell me it’s Friday. I sure can use a good story about now. And I am delighted to tell you Florida Dom has written another part of his story for us today. His series ‘Training Lisa’ caught my imagination right away and I know from comments that I am not alone. If you haven’t gotten to read them yet you can click on part one and part two to go back and read or to refresh your memory (which is something I often have to do).

Enjoy…

Training Lisa Chapter Three

Lisa had a fitful night of sleep. She did a lot of tossing and turning because her mind was going a thousand miles an hour. There was so much to think about because she was entering a new phase in her life.

She was still thinking about last night when she met the dominant man of her dreams, the man who would control her life outside the boardroom, a man who made her submit to his will. He had shaved her pussy and had brought her close to orgasm time and time again without letting her come. And he wouldn't even let her see him. She wore a hood. And then there was her right arm that was tied to the headboard because he didn't want her touching herself in the night. But her arm was cramping and it was uncomfortable. That added to the mixture of pain and pleasure that had her so discombobulated. She had never felt this way.

It had all happened so quickly. She had answered an online ad by a dom looking for a professional woman who was in charge in the boardroom but wanted to submit in the bedroom. After exchanging emails and phone calls, they had their first meeting last night and it was everything she expected. She was ready for more. But he then told her that she had to take at least one hour after he left to decide if she wanted to continue this journey.

Once she typed, "I will obey, Sir,'' when her Sir asked if she was ready to live this lifestyle, she knew she had given up control of her life outside the bedroom. It was a scary moment for yet but yet one she craved. She felt a mixture of love and hate. She loved the idea of submitting but yet she feared it. She was feeling so many conflicting emotions.

From now on, she would obey. No questions asked. His wishes were her desires. Yet she was scared and wondered where this would all lead. She had already violated one rule and knew she was going to be punished. She had to self spank herself last night. But she knew he was going to bring her to her place for the formal punishment. She wondered what that meant. Why was he going to take her to his place at a time of his choosing. Did he have his own dungeon? What would he do to her there? All those questions swirled in her mind. And because she had violated a rule she still wouldn't be able to see him. She knew she would be blindfolded. She hadn't even seen this man who had taken over her life.

He had quickly put his rules in place. He would decide what she would wear, what she would eat (no sweets or caffeine unless she had permission), when she would eat (no snacks between meals) and what TV shows she could watch. He would decide when she went to sleep and when she would get up. She even had to ask permission to go to the bathroom. If he wasn't online when the request was made, she only had to wait five minutes. If he were online, he would tell her how long she had to wait, usually between 10 and 15 minutes. It was all part of his control.

She already had a full growth of hair under her arms because he no longer allowed her to shave under her arms. That was his mark on her to symbolize she was His. And even though she now had a freshly shaved pussy, she was no longer allowed to shave it herself. He had reserved that for himself and had done it during their first session last night. She liked it when she was all smooth like that, but she knew she wasn't allowed to touch her pussy and she knew the consequences if she disobeyed. And, sure, he wouldn't know unless she reported herself, but she knew that she couldn't not tell him if she slipped up. That was part of his control over her. She had to report herself. That made her even more anxious. She knew she'd be tempted to try to get away with something, but she knew she didn't dare to. That was one more thing to worry about.

And, most of all, he would decide when she was allowed to have an orgasm. And right now, she wasn't allowed to either touch herself or have an orgasm. She was on orgasm restriction until further notice. He would decide when she would be allowed to come. And last night, he had taken her to the brink of orgasm several times, but then stopped before she could push herself over the top. He would take his hands off of her and just watch as her panting finally subsided as he smiled at her frustration. That was part of his control. And then when she stopped panting, he would start again. She craved being under his control and yet she was so frustrated that she no longer decided when she could enjoy pleasure. And that fact just increased her craving.

The fact that she had an arm tied to the headboard was another reminder of her submission as she kept looking at the clock. The alarm wasn't set to go off for 15 minutes and she wasn't allowed to get out of bed until the time he had set. That's one of his rules. Her Sir likes his rules. Although she did find one loophole to give her pleasure. With her left hand she started squeezing her tits and pulling on her nipples. Oh, that felt so good so she did it several times. It wasn't as good as touching herself between her legs, but it gave her some pleasure as she waited for the alarm to go off.

Meanwhile, Sir was also watching his clock. He had told her that she had to check in within five minutes after her alarm rang. It was one of the many ways she was controlled and he was convinced that she wanted to be controlled. He liked the fact that he had met a smart, beautiful accomplished woman who craved control and he knew how to provide it. He would make sure that "I will obey, Sir'' would become her mantra and she would obey because she wound know the consequences if she didn't. The biggest one he knew was that she didn't want to disappoint him. She wanted to be controlled and he was giving her the message that she had to obey.

Granted, she had a minor slipup when she had a bathrobe on and didn't sit her bare butt on the sandpaper at her computer. But he knew he couldn't be lax. He had to give her the message that there was a price to pay for his control. If he were going to show enough interest in her to give her rules to follow, she would follow them or suffer the consequences. That's why he made her self spank herself and told her she was now facing a punishment session in which she would be blindfolded the entire time just like she was last night and would have to wait longer for her first orgasm with him. Orgasm denial was an effective tool for him to control her. The longer the denial, the more she would crave it and need it. And when he finally gave her one, it was sure to be explosive.

Sure, enough, just two minutes after she was allowed untie her wrist from the headboard and get out of bed, there was an email from her saying that she was checking in, waiting for her instructions for the day. And then she added, "I will obey, Sir.'' She had to include that phrase in every email to re-enforce the message that she was serious about obeying.

He also knew she was naked sitting at the computer, which meant her bare butt was on the sandpaper. He had told her she was to sleep naked last night for being disobedient. And if she was naked, it meant that her bare butt was on the sandpaper.

He smiled, leaned back in his chair and was satisfied with the progress he was making with her. He knew he was very good at bringing out the submissive side of a woman. He then got on his treadmill and got in a good workout. He could give himself a chance to relax. Making a submissive woman bow to his will gave him a lot of satisfaction.

And the truth of the matter is that for Lisa, even sitting on the sandpaper had become soothing. Granted, it wasn't comfortable, but there was a soothing quality because she knew it meant that she was being controlled and submitting to his will.

She then clicked on the instructions email. She knew that each day he would send her instructions for the day and she had to follow his instructions. It was part of her submitting to him. Each night, she would send him a list of what she planned to wear the next day at work for his approval. And she had to tell him what she planned to have for breakfast and lunch. He also controlled her diet. And she was not allowed to snack between meals. Any infraction must be reported and she would face punishment. It was a reminder whenever she was tempted to each a cookie between meals.

He approved the suit she planned to wear, but she had written panties out of habit and he reminded her that she was no longer allowed to wear panties. She has to wear thongs because he wanted her butt mostly bare. And he changed her breakfast menu. She was planning on having a poached egg. He told her to eat fruit and yogurt. He wanted to keep her in the best of shape.

And there was one more instruction. He told her to stand naked in front of her mirror in her bedroom with her arms locked behind her head. That way she could admire her body that she was presenting to him. She was to spend five minutes thinking about how much she enjoys being under his control and how it brings out her submissive side.

After reading the instructions, she typed, "I will obey, Sir,'' and headed towards the bedroom. During her five minutes in front of the mirror, she felt the hunger build between her legs. She wanted to touch herself but she knew that wasn't allowed. As she looked into the mirror, she thought about how much she had wanted this all of her life. She started to breathe heavily as she felt herself getting wetter, but she kept herself under control. She knows her Sir would expect that. Still, she felt so many conflicting emotions. Was she really ready for this? Could she submit the way he wanted her to? This was difficult, but there was only one answer. She would do it.

After the five minutes were up, she headed to the shower where she was careful to use a washcloth when she rubbed between her legs. She knew she wasn't allowed to do any skin to skin touching between her legs.

After showering, she put on her thong, her bra and her business suit and was ready to go out and face the world. She simply had to send an email to Sir to notify she was heading into work. Of course, she added, "I will obey, Sir.''

When she got into work, she sent him a friendly, "Hi, I'm here'' email. Since it was a company computer, she couldn't mention obeying. But she had to check in. The rest of the day, she was a businesswoman. Sir didn't want to interfere with her business career. She was now free to be the successful businesswomen that all her colleagues knew. She would again be the one in charge. She would make major decisions. She did not suffer fools gladly. To her colleagues, there was no difference in her demeanor. She was still career minded and appeared to put her career above all else. If her subordinates didn't perform up to expectations, they knew they'd be making a trip to her office and it wouldn't be pleasant. She was on the fast track on her way to the top of the corporate world and wasn't going to let incompetent executives slow her down. Her employees were rewarded, but they were expected to be at the top of their game at all times.

What they didn't know was now she had to work at being in charge. Her mind kept wandering back to those moments of fulfillment when she was being dominated, brought close to orgasm, but not allowed to go all the way. She'd think about following his rules. She was now living two different lives. She still liked being in charge in the boardroom, but now she looked forward to coming home and being dominated.

They also didn't know that even at work, she had rules to follow. No snacking between meals, no sweets, no caffeine and she still had to ask permission to go to the bathroom. She had to use code and email him, "I'm ready,'' because she was on a company computer. He would then send the number of minutes she had to wait before heading to the bathroom. The emails would look routine except to the two of them.

But she got so immersed in her work that she forgot the rules. When somebody brought in some doughnuts to work, she absentmindedly picked one up. She had it half-eaten before she was horror stuck. She had violated a rule. She quickly tossed the other half in the trash. But she knew it was too late. She would have to report herself and she knew that would mean a punishment. Even worse in the afternoon, she just routinely went to the bathroom without asking for permission. She didn't realize her mistake until she was brushing her hair before she left the bathroom. She was in a state of mild panic. This was all so new to her and she wanted to do what she was supposed to do but she was almost overwhelmed by the rules. As she held the brush in her hair, she wondered if he would be pounding her butt with that hairbrush for her mistakes. She had failed twice in one day and she would have to report herself and suffer the consequences. She knew she still needed more training. As she left work, she sent a two word message, "going home.'' She couldn't say, "I will obey, Sir'' on a company computer. Even worse she hadn't obeyed. Twice. Driving home, she had a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. She knew she had failed him and she knew there would be consequences.

As soon as she got home, she went to the bedroom and took off her clothes. She still had to be naked at home for not following the bare butt rule on the sandpaper last night. She shuddered to think what the consequences would be for failing today. With much trepidation, she went to her computer, sat down on the sandpaper and fired it up. She still had that feeling in the pit of her stomach as the computer booted up.

Once she got to her email to check for instructions, she found he had approved her dinner menu and the TV show she wanted to watch. She only had to do five minutes before the mirror and then tie her wrist to the headboard as a reminder that she couldn't touch herself. Then she hesitated before she started typing with the bad news. She confessed she had broken two rules. She apologized pofusely and said it wouldn't happen again.

He wasn't surprised by the email. He knew that training takes time. Old habits are hard to break. For a take charge woman to let herself be in total control of another person wasn't easy. But he couldn't let her know that. He had to be stern to let her know that disobeying was not an option.

He then told her the punishment. She was to tie her tits tightly with a rope that went around her back until they stuck out nice and tight so he would have a good target when he struck them. And then he was to tie herself in a crotch rope that tied around her belly, went between her legs and tied tightly in the back so it pulled tightly on her pussy. And she had to put a clothespin on each nipple and three on each side of her pussy lips.

He then told her there wouldn't be a delay on this punishment. He would be over within half an hour. She was to prepare herself and when he knocked on the door, she was to unlock it, blindfold herself and kneel with her forehead on the floor as he entered. She had to wear the blindfold because she hadn't earned the right to see her Sir yet. He also told her that she would be allowed to speak only four words in his presence. She knew what they were: "I will obey, Sir.''

She quickly started to prepare herself for his arrival, starting with tying her tits tightly. She knew he would not tolerate them being loose so she tied them as tightly as she could and she noticed how they stood out like headlights. She knew he would be pleased.

Then she tied the rope tightly around her belly, pulled it down between her legs and pulled it up tightly in her crotch. She kept pulling it because she knew he wanted it tight and she could tell it was getting drenched in her crotch because she was so wet. And then she pulled it up behind her back and tied it off. She felt that she had met his requirements and she took advantage of the extra time she had to squeeze her tits and pull on her nipples. They felt so good and he hadn't ruled she couldn't do that. Then she put the clothespins on each nipple and six more on her pussy lips, three on each side. She had to touch her pussy lips to put them on and that felt so good. She could tell how wet she was and what a strong scent she had. She had to calm herself down because she was still on orgasm restriction.

Now all that was left was the waiting for the knock on the door. She was excited and apprehensive at the same time. She knew she was to be punished but she knew she deserved it and this was the lifestyle she had chosen. She liked the fact he cared enough to punish her.

And then it came, the knock on the door. She quickly unlocked the door and stepped back to put the blindfold on and got down on her knees with her forehead on the floor. Her Sir would be pleased with her.

The wait was almost over. As the heard the door starting to open, she knew she would submit. She knew she craved his punishment and control. As she heard him enter, she spoke the only four words she was allowed to say, "I will obey, Sir.''

~~~oo0oo~~~

Florida Dom – thank you! You have shared with me that you don’t think of yourself as a fiction writer. I think there are some people who might disagree with you out here. I hope you will leave him a comment and encourage him to write and more parts of this story.


I have a great story to post for you next week but I really need more stories – as always. If you have a story you are willing to share or if I can talk you into trying to write one please send it to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Happy Birthday

To a prolific blogger,

A wonderful mother,

A fantastic wife,

A super vacation companion,

A dear sister, friend, and fellow spanko…


I give you the incredible


BABY GRACE!!!




HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Gradituesday N - and more thoughts

Nick – the best husband in the world. His real name is not an N but to all that know him here it is. He is everything I need him to be and I love him very much.

Naps – oh my, how I love naps. I love them as much now as I hated them when I was three or four. Sunday afternoons are the best! Long and lazy – remember no one will ever say I’m working myself to death.

Novices – I love getting to know and talk to novices out here. Those who are just beginning to accept their spanko side and are beginning to feeling free to discuss it with other for the first time. I like letting them know that they are not alone and that the journey is worth it.

Nana – what my kids called my mom. The most wonderful grandmother in the world. I remember whenever I used to scold Mollie she would get this pitiful look on her face and sob, “I want my Nana.” Keep that in mind Grammy!

Night – I love night, evening – the family is mostly together. We are safe. We can relax from what ever the world has thrown at us that day. For me it is a peaceful time.

Nude – one of my favorite states to be in these days. I’m not saying I love the want I look nude but I love the fact that I don’t hate the way I look now. And Nick has never seemed to mind.

Naughtiness – I know nothing of this personally but I hear it’s quite fun!

~~~oo0oo~~~

Diet Update

To continue from my last post here are more of my thoughts on spanking as well as the diet. I didn’t do too well on the diet front this week. I was up a pound. Now Nick and I are really vague on the spanking diet rules. We (mostly I) have changed them from time to time. And right now I couldn’t tell you what they are – does that tell you something? Maybe we can agree on a few that don't deal directly with the scales.

I know I am over eating these days. I am stress eating and comfort eating. I know, I know – there are better ways of taking care of stress and better places to get comfort. But this is where I am right now.

I talked in my last post about words and tone. Nick’s kind way of talking to me and encouraging me would be the envy of every vanilla wife out there but I know a different approach would help me so much more.

He will hug me and say “You’re going to do better next week aren’t you?” In my mind I am thinking ‘probably not’.

I want to hear “You ARE going to do better next week or I’m going to paddle your butt until you can't sit.” In my mind I’d be thinking ‘hmmmmm…’

Last week I didn’t make to the gym too often – field trips and tutoring got in the way. But on the day I could go I called him when I was on my way and said “I guess I’m headed to the gym but I would rather come home and take a nap.”

He said teasing (knowing I was going) “Well I hope you make a wise decision”. I was thinking ‘Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr…”

I wanted to hear “That’s up to you but you better plan on napping on your stomach. Cause if you don’t get to the gym today I’m taking the hairbrush to you.”

Now honestly these words would help even if he didn’t spank me at all. For me the physiological aspects of spanking can do so much. When he gets in my mind – a whisper in my ear before I get out of bed, a threatening email does more for me and making me pay attention to my diet than all the encouragement in the world.

Ahhhh… the strange twisted mind of a spanko – will he ever understand it? I doubt it – I still don’t!

Weekend update and spanking thoughts

Hey everyone! I had a good weekend. We got to go see LJ in a play. We spent the night with my sister and Mollie got to stay in the dorm with her cousin – after going to her first ‘college party’. I have great faith in Mollie not to be stupid and she didn’t let me down. I asked her if she talked to many people and she said no, but that she sure did a lot of listening! I think she had a really good time.

Collin was there to see the play too and then we took everyone out for breakfast Sunday morning. When we go to see him in a play breakfast is really the only time we get to spend with him. His classes are over and only a few exams remain. Apparently when you are a theater major exams aren’t a big deal. He didn’t get into the stage company he was hoping for this summer. As you might imagine hard times are hurting the Arts in a big way. Troupes are cutting down the number of plays they are doing and going for smaller casts. I am hoping he can get some kind of jobs for some hours this summer.

Okay that’s it for the kids update, on to the spanking portion of the blog.

Sigh…

We’re not doing so great on that front. No problems, nothing to complain about. I have had a few short spankings. And we have found time for some great lovemaking. But, but…

I read Bonnie’s brunch question for this Sunday, it was

What do you and your partner do to keep alive your interest in spanking?


I really liked the question. I read some of the answers and many were saying that as a couple of hard wired spankos it really wasn’t a problem keeping interest alive. But what do you do when you have a mixed marriage – spanko/vanilla?

I have no doubt that Nick enjoys spanking me occasionally. It can lead to wonderful things that are probably more fun for him that the spankings themselves, which satisfies many of my needs. But the deeper needs still are still there.

It’s like if after 25 years of marriage Nick came to me and said “I have always wanted to climb mountains. I’ve never told you before but sometimes it’s all I can think about. Will you do it with me?” My answer is “Sure, why didn’t you tell me. Let’s go.”

So we head to the mountains and we walk across mountain meadows. We climb some steep paths, limb on some rock to see the view and we both enjoy it. But then Nick says “This is great but what I really meant was MOUNTAIN CLIMBING!” I then I find he wants to be scaling sheer cliffs, hanging on by his finger tips and ropes and such. Grabbing oxygen tanks and heading to Everest. And I have to tell him – nope, sorry that is not for me. I just can’t go there with you. This is the way I think Nick feels about the whole ‘I want to be spanked’ revelation.

This is not a post to complain about Nick, I think Nick is doing all he knows to do. But some things are just not in him to give. Giving true discipline will never be part of his make up. We are neither one all that great at roll playing either. That will always be a need in my head but I don’t think it will be fulfilled because I don’t even know how to explain what I need.

I know now I don’t want Nick ordering me around the moment I walk in the door. I don’t want him telling me when I can and can’t spend money, what I should wear, when I can leave the house. Some love that kind of control and I am happy for them when they find it, but it’s not right for Nick and me.

So what am I trying to say to him? “Don’t boss me around or tell me what to do but please dominate me!” LOL!! No wonder men can get so confused!

I do know I want to be dominated in the bed room! I love it when he tells me to get into a certain position, when he tells me to put on the blindfold, when he tells me to be still. I like to be treated like a possession in the bedroom. I like being ordered around and spanked when I resist or don’t react quickly enough. I love being tied up – and I mean for real (at least for a short time) where I really can’t move around and I can pull against the restraints and find them unyielding. I want to be able to say ‘No, stop’, ‘Let me go’, ‘Please, no more’ and have him ignore me!!

I wish Nick understood the value of words and tone to a spanko. Nick is the kindest of men and even when he is ordering me around that comes through. Only on very few occasions will he truly use his dominate look and voice. And Nick honey, in case you don’t know the voice and look I’m talking about, it’s what you use whenever I talk about getting another kitten. LOL! – he is all dom then! By word, tone and stance there is no doubt when he says ‘We do not need kitten’ that he means it!! But if I actually brought one home he would be pissed – but spanking me for defying him would never occur to him.

Ahhh… well. These are just random thought running through my head. I thought I’d try to get some of them down. Check in on the diet update this week. I’ll probably have more.

Fantasy Friday - Making Wine

Happy Friday! I always love Fridays but now each one if getting us closer and closer to school being over and that’s a wonderful feeling. And of course Friday is time for another great story and we have one for you. Today’s story is from a brand new writer with great potential, more about her later.

For now enjoy…

Making Wine

Kira was sitting in the car with a scarf around her eyes as a blindfold. Her heart was pounding with every turn that Victor made. She could tell that they were going up the mountain, but she had no idea why. He told her not to make any plans for today because he wanted to treat her to a day of relaxation.

Earlier, he made her shower and shave before setting a white sundress on the bed for her, nothing else. Kira was very intrigued. They were childhood sweethearts and he was a guy that rarely took chances without calculating all the risks first. His choice of clothing for her was one that she had worn a few times before but it had never been his idea. When she dressed, they both walked down to the car. Victor drove down to the supermarket and as he opened the door for her, she started panicking.

“I thought this was supposed to be a day for me to relax.”

“Kira, just trust me today. Completely let go and I promise that by the end of the day, you’ll feel like jello, alright?”

Kira nodded and Victor helped her out of the car. Even though it wasn’t Kira’s first time in public without panties, it was always a thrill. Her breath was quickening as they walked across the parking lot and into the store. Victor slowly browsed the fruits section while Kira hung to him tightly. He would pick things up and then put it down. Kira was nervous because she was wearing just a white dress with sandals. She kept thinking that everyone could see that she wasn’t wearing anything underneath.

“What are you looking for? Maybe I can help.”

“I’m looking to make some wine. I think I want some grapes. Go ask the clerk there what types of grapes are best for wines and have him help you pick some out.”

“What? I’m not going to do that. You don’t even drink wine. Why won’t you tell me what were doing today?”

“Everything is gonna be fine. Just go ask him to help you pick out some grapes. We don’t need a lot. I’ll be waiting for you in the car.” He handed her enough money for a bag of grapes and started to walk out the store.

Kira stood there dumbfounded. She had no idea what Victor was up to and why he had decided to do this. She had mentioned some of the things that she did in the past similar to this but Victor had never shown any interest. Victor always seemed apathetic to anything she suggested that was out of the norm. She was always content when she was with him but there was always an itch for a little more. As she stood there, she was scared but excited at the same time. She wanted to go forward and just let go. It had always been a challenge to forget about the world and allow herself to focus on the present. She watched as Victor disappeared out of sight.

Kira started looking around for someone to help her with what Victor wanted. She had told him of some of her past adventures so she knew what he wanted her to do during this shopping trip. She found a clerk stacking oranges into a mountain. She watched him for a while and finally decided to overcome the butterflies swirling around in her stomach.

She grabbed an orange, but she wasn’t watching and the tower started crumbling down on her. She tried to stop it, but the oranges kept on fall.

“Miss, are you okay?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to destroy al of your work. Here, let me help you.” Kira started grabbing oranges and putting them back onto the stand.

“It’s okay Miss. Let me gather everything up.” Within minutes, they both caught all the runaway oranges and placed them back onto the stand. “Thank you, Miss.”

The clerk didn’t notice before, but now that he looked up, he saw that Kira wasn’t wearing a bra and both her breasts were showing when she bent over. Kira immediately recognized the look on his face. She got up to try to hide as much as she could and she was flushing red. The clerk stood up and could barely get out, “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“My boyfriend wants to make some wine, but I don’t know how to pick out the best grapes.”

“There over here, do you know what kind of wine he wants?”

“Uhh…I’m not sure but he usually likes something that has a slight sour taste yet sweet at the same time. Do you know what I mean?”

He clearly didn’t, but he wanted he found that he just couldn’t pull himself away from her. “Sure, I think these would be great.” He pointed to some red grapes. “Try one.” He pulled a piece off the bunch, wiped it on his apron, and fed it to her. Kira had a burning desire to run out the store because it was getting to be too much for her. She took a deep breath and decided to finish. She ate the grape and picked out a bad. She kissed the clerk on the cheek to thank him and ran to the checkout stand to pay for the grapes.

When she was done, she ran into the parking out and to the car. She thought that her head was going to explode. Victor was there with the door open for her and she jumped in. He had a huge grin on his face and watched as she slowly calmed down.

“So, how’d you do?”

“That was freakin insane. I made a mess by knocking down all the oranges and then he saw my boobs before I even asked for his help.” Victor listened as Kira recounted the whole ordeal. Kira didn’t know it, but Victor had planned everything in advance and watched everything unfold. The oranges falling was something that sweetened the scene for him.

“Are you ready to make some wine?”

“Here? I don’t know how.”

“Lift up your dress” Kira was excited but scared at the same time. What if someone walked passed their car. They would be able to see the two of them in the front with her dress up. Victor slowly slid his hands down to the hem of the dress and moved his hands up to her pussy. She was wet. He knew that she loved taking chances but he couldn’t imagine how something like this would make her so wet. He slowly started stroking her and she began to shake. She was enjoying his finger and was building up when he suddenly stopped. She opened her eyes and was frustrated. “You got the wrong grapes honey. I can’t make wine with these, they’re red and I need the green ones.” Kira’s face dropped. She was telling herself that there was no way she was going to go back in. In the past, she had been willing to do this because she told herself that she would never see the clerk again.

“No Victor. I can’t. I can’t face the clerk again. Please, tell me what we’re doing.”

“Sweetie, you can do this. You know that deep deep down you really want to do this.” His finger slid up her dress again. “You want to go in and get some green grapes.” He started circling her swelling pussy and she started to squirm. “How about if I go in with you? We’ll get that nice clerk to help you pick out the perfect grapes.”

“I don’t want to see that clerk again. Can’t we just use the ones I bought?” On one hand, Kira really didn’t want to go in to buy more grapes. But on the other hand, she wanted the thrill of the adventure Victor was leading her on. She was liking this but it didn’t mean that she wasn’t completely nervous at the same time.

“Of course not. I need the perfect grapes to make the best wine for us to share. Let’s go.” He pulled his fingers away from her and led her back into the market. They returned the grapes and went back to the produce section. They spotted the clerk who was bright red upon seeing Kira again. Kira was also blushing and trying as hard as possible to hide behind Victor.

“How can I help you guys today?”

“Kira, I think you should ask him since you guys already know each other.” She shot Victor a look of venom because she had not expected that. Victor slowly eased her up to the clerk so that he could watch her shift. He could tell that she was nervous, but at the same time, he knew that she was going to enjoy the day. The part that was exciting him was that the more nervous Kira became, the more she moved and showed without realizing it.

“Um…er…do you have any green grapes?”

“Yes we do. They’re right over here. Will these be good?” He handed a bunch of large green grapes to Kira. His hands were shaking and almost dropped the bunch. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. “They just came in today and they’re on sale. I don’t know if it makes good wine, but they are very tasty. They have a sweetness to them and they’re so juicy so then they have more juice for your wine.”

“These do look great but do you have anything a little firmer?” Victor wanted to help the clerk out by stopping him from rambling further. “We need some that won’t break easily.” The clerk still couldn’t stop staring at Kira. This made Kira squirm even and she would to just grab a bunch to get out of the market. Kira couldn’t help but think that the clerk was staring right through her dress and drooling over her breasts. The clerk handed Kira another bunch. He was so nervous himself that he could no longer get any words out. His mouth moved but nothing was coming out. He pulled off a few grapes, wiped it on his apron and popped some into his mouth. He handed the rest of the handful to Kira and Victor. He knew he wasn’t supposed to but he needed something to fill his mouth. “Is it okay if my girlfriend and I wash these before we buy them?” The clerk nodded and pointed to the restroom.

Kira and Victor went to the restroom and locked the door behind them. Kira was shaking because she could not believe the events that unfolded. She was confused but at the same time, a part of her was enjoying the thrill of what they were doing. She wasn’t sure what Victor was planning and she was getting agitated that he wouldn’t tell her. Victor was putting on a brave face because he wanted this to be a special day for Kira. Although it had been exciting to do something out of the norm, he really wanted to just get her alone for the rest of the day. He knew that Kira had an exhibition streak in her that she used to explore; it wasn’t something that he was particularly thrilled about. At the same time, he wanted to show her that he was willing to share things with her that he though she enjoyed. The both carefully washed the grapes and put them back into the bags. When they stepped out, Victor gave the clerk a handshake and they went to pay for the grapes. Victor took his time to walk to the car, but Kira wanted to run. They got into the car and Victor rolled down the window.

“How are you doing?”

“That was so scary back there, but I’m alright.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it’s just that…that wasn’t what I expected. You’re always nervous about taking public risks but you do something like that. I...I never knew you would do that, and then making me go in again. I was about to stop…but I’m glad we did that.”

“So it was good?”

“Totally.”

“Okay then. You have to trust me with this next thing. I’m going to bring you to a place where we’re all alone and I can do whatever I want to. You can yell and no one will hear you. Do you trust me?”

“……yeah.”

“You have to put this on as a blindfold. Do you still want to go? We can stop this right now if you feel uncomfortable.”

Sigh. Kira looked into Victor’s eyes and finally nodded. Victor smiled and carefully put the scarf around Kira’s eyes. She was scared but at the same time, she knew Victor wasn’t going to put her in harms way. Victor started up the car and started driving. Kira could hear the sounds of the cars around them. She felt every bump in the road and stop that they made. After a while, the sounds started getting quieter and there were more twists and turns.

“Where are we going?”

“Shh…You’ll find out when we get there. I don’t want to spoil the surprise so no more talking alright?”

“Ok.” Ten minutes later, “I need to talk. It’s too quiet. Please say something.”

“Would you feel better if I turned on the radio?” Victor was afraid that he would ruin the surprise if he talked.

“Yeah.” Victor was driving up the local mountains and Kira could feel every turn. Every second, she had an urge to pull the scarf down to see where they were going. After a while, the road became very bumpy and then smoothed out. After an hour, the car stopped. Victor opened the door, grabbed a duffel bag, put the grapes inside. He went over and opened the door for Kira.

“Close your eyes.” Victor slowly took off the scarf. “Now open them slowly before you get out.” After Kira adjusted her eyes to the light, Victor helped her out. There was no one around. It was completed wooded and they had used a dirt trail to get where they were. At the same time, it was very peaceful to get away from all the noise and distractions of the city. Now, there were the sounds of the forest and the beauty of nature around them. “You see that platform there. That’s where we’re hiking to.” It was a small white crate that was sticking out of the mountain and the dirt road didn’t reach it. It was a short hike where Kira could feel the breeze blowing up her dress. She felt strange to be out here with so little on. She was an avid hiker so she usually was dressed in full gear with a pack when she went to the mountains. She didn’t know exactly where they were, but she had a good idea of the general location. She knew that most people didn’t go past the first set of mountains and they were deep into the second range of peaks.

When they got to the platform, Victor turned Kira around. She was struck by the view before her. She could see the entire city while the forest surrounded all around her.

Victor opened his bag and laid down a blanket and let Kira sit down. They sat for a while to take in their surroundings. Kira had forgotten about her nervousness and just relaxed and she sat with Victor. There was a sense of security that she had when she was around Victor that she had not felt in a long time.

“It’s time for us to get started. Let’s take this dress off of you first.” With one swoop, Victor had undressed Kira. It happened so fast that Kira gave a shiver and crossed her arms. The sun was out and Kira started to get butterflies in her stomach again. “Relax, dear. I promise you’ll enjoy this.” Kira nodded. Victor laid Kira down on the blanket and quietly whispered to her so that she could calm down.

“I think it’s time to make some wine.” He kissed Kira until she couldn’t breathe anymore and she closed her eyes. Her mind was buzzing and Victor was kissing his way down to her pussy. He kissed her lips and ran his tongue over them until they started to grow. She started to squirm under his tongue as he continued to moisten her lips. Victor blew over the lips and Kira began to moan. As soon as Victor stopped, Kira’s eyes flew open.

“How long have we known each other?”

“What do you mean?”

“When did you first lay those beady little eyes on me?”

“When my family moved next to yours when I was four. What’s this all about?”

“Hmm… Eighteen plus eighteen. That’s thirty six. Just keep that number in mind.”

“Come on, Victor. Tell me.”

“Close your eyes.”

“First, you undress. I want something to keep in my mind.”

Victor undressed and motioned for Kira to close her eyes. Kira sighed but closed her eyes because she was enjoying herself.

Victor slowly slipped a grape through Kira’s lips and one into her mouth. He kissed her lips and made he twinge. With each grape, Victor would kiss her lips and reassure her. When he got to five, he continued sucking her lips until she was moaning and trembling. Kira tried to stay still but she couldn’t help but squirm. Victor held her down by her hips and didn’t let her escape his ministrations. Right when she about to let go, Victor stopped, blew on the lips and let her rest for a while. Victor kissed Kira on the mouth and made sure that she could taste her juices.
“How do you like our wine so far?”

“Perfect.”

“Do you want more?” Kira nodded and Victor continued sliding the grapes into her pussy. With each one, it would become more difficult for Victor to slide the grapes in. Kira was feeling the tightness as Victor put the tenth one in. “No more. I’m full.” Victor once again started sucking her lips and run her his tongue all along her slit. Victor was growing hard and was enjoying himself immensely. Kira became more vocal as Victor continued on. She knew she was close and her legs were squeezing his head. Victor could sense that it would take Kira just a few seconds more before she reached her climax so he stopped. Kira could feel that Victor had stopped but the spasms in her legs too a while to stop enough so that she could relax her legs. Victor got up to take a large gulp of air and then kissed Kira so that she could taste her juices again. Kira was frustrated and wanted to reach her climax. She reached down to stroke herself, but Victor held them firm against the ground. They were both wanted more so Victor continued with the grapes.

“It looks like I can fit just a little more in here.”

“Oh, man! I’m a ready to explode. Just let me finish already.”

“Nope. We’re gonna finish making this wine first.”

Victor slid in another grape and licked her again. He started to give her more attention elsewhere and rubbed her legs and arms.

“Do you think you can fit any more?” She shook her head. “How about just one more?” Kira looked at Victor and wanted to say no but she knew he wanted to keep going. She nodded and slowly pushed the last one in. Kira felt tight but at the same time it didn’t hurt too much. Victor used his fingers to finally bring Kira to a climax and she shuddered the whole time. He cupped his hands in an attempt to catch her juices. When she calmed down, Victor fed her the juice and went down again. He tried to suck as much of her “wine” as he could and take out the grapes. When he could no longer take them out with his tongue, he fished them out with his fingers. He counted them as he was taking them out to make sure that there was none left behind. Victor left them to the side in a pile and started on his next plan. Kira laid there and her mind was floating in the air.

“Kira, you remember thirty six?” It took her a while, but finally nodded. “I was expecting to make enough wine out of thirty six grapes.”

“But there’s no way!”

“Don’t argue with me. I think that there should be consequences for your miscount. I think this should do.” Victor pulled out a wooden spoon and grinned. He knew from the beginning that she would be far from the mark. He was actually surprised that she was able to fit that many into her because the grapes he chose were pretty big. Kira laughed as she saw it because she has tried to get Victor to spank her in the past and he would not spank her very hard. Victor motioned for her to turn over and she quickly complied.

“Well, since you were so far from the mark. I think I should just give you the full thirty six.”

“There was no way. Come on, Victor. Don’t you think that’s a bit excessive?” Kira didn’t know why she was arguing because she knew that Victor would not spank her very hard.

“Excessive? I think excessive would be if I was to say thirty six for each cheek. You know. I think that’s exactly what I’m going to do and I don’t want any argument.” The tone in his voice told Kira that it wouldn’t be a good idea.

Victor placed the spoon on her butt cheeks and started to rub them with it. Suddenly, Victor smacked down hard on her left cheek and a pink circle started to form. Kira gasped as that was not what she expected. Victor ran the spoon over her right cheek and when Kira started to relax, he smacked her cheek and another pink circle formed. Very slowly Victor would run the spoon over the cheek and smack her. By the time each side got ten, Kira was in a frenzy. Not knowing when the next smack would fall made her antsy but Victor had told her not to move. She would squirm but Victor would make her get back into place. By 30, Kira was beyond coherent. She had gone into a different world and she was flying high. She barely felt the sting of the spoon anymore. Her bottom had turned bright red, but she could only feel a burning warmth that enveloped her whole body.

At last Victor finished. It took Kira a long time to realize it. After that, Victor slowly entered Kira and lay with her the entire time. When they were done, they laid in the sun for a while until Victor started getting sunburned.

~~~oo0oo~~~

I think this was a perfect story for this warm weekend. This story came from a first time writer – Diana. Diana and I have been emailing for probably a year or more now. As I said this is her first attempt at writing sex/spanking fiction and I think she did a great job. I hope you will stop by and tell her what you think and hopefully with some encouragement we can get her to write more for us.

I am looking for new stories all the time. Everyone is welcomed to join in the fun! If you have a story you are willing to share – real life or fiction, please send it to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Thanks again Diana! Hope to see more of you both in writing stories and in comments.

I'm blocked

I have several things I circling in my mind that I want to write about. But nothing seems ready to come out at the moment. I have emails I want to write, fiction in my head, ideas for a party, Cassie has stories to tell, I have thoughts on spanking and discipline – it’s almost like I don’t know where to start so I just don’t. Makes perfect sense right?

Work hasn’t let up a bit and I don’t expect it will until June 12. Writing is my biggest stress relief at the moment. Yet I spend more of my time flitting from blog to blog seeing what everyone has to say instead of saying much myself.

Not lots of extra time coming up either. Have to give a parent orientation tomorrow night. Saturday we go to see LJ in a play. Wednesday we take Mollie to the science and math camp she was chosen for. Nick and I will have a little time alone while she’s gone then we will pick her up on Mother’s day. But somewhere in all that I hope to find time to do some writing.



But until it’s ready to come out my fingers I appreciate everyone else that is writing and giving me something to do until the blockage goes away.

Graditusday

It's Tuesday again and I have many things I am grateful for. I am determined this time around not to look in the dictionary. So I am just pulling from my head. I'm bound to miss some good ones this way. But here goes.




Mom – I had the best in the world! I enjoyed spending time with her when I was little and when I was grown. I also really, really enjoy being a mom.

Men – now they are the strangest things. Extremely hard to understand. Terrible difficult to train. But darn they sure do make life interesting and exciting. I wouldn’t want to do without mine.

Mthc – my friend, one of my triplets. I am so grateful that I met both her and David. They are very special!

Memories – I have contact with many older people. Many can’t tell you what they had for breakfast or whether or not they saw you yesterday. But many do hold on to their oldest memories. I have wonderful memories in my life already. Sometimes I love to just sit and sift through them.

Mind – mine may go off in strange directions occasionally but I am glad I have what’s left of it.

Money – I have never been money hungry. If money had been my greatest desire I wouldn’t have gone into education. But in light of today’s economy I am grateful for what we have.

Mail – E or snail, I do love my mail.

Marriage – I am a fan of marriage. I know it’s not for everyone but I am so happy in my marriage. We have some high expectations to live up to. Mom and Dad were married for 55 years and Nick’s folks working on 62 years. I hope we can beat them.

Diet update

On the diet front I did pretty well this week. I was down .8 pounds and it was a new low. Cross your fingers that I can maintain that for a week. Anytime I see a new low I don’t really believe it for a week or so.

I went out clothes shopping this weekend. The largest size pants I bought before I started the diet were 24’s. Now I am wearing mostly 16 and since women’s sizes are so very screwed up I can sometimes find a 14 that fits nicely. Saturday while I was shopping I tried on a 14 that was too big. Just for the fun of it I tried on a 12. I could get them buttoned and zipped (I looked like a stuffed sausage, but still)!!! Okay this goes to point out the stupidity of how women’s pants are sized rather that my superb dieting skills but I still nearly bought them just to be able to leave the tag on and show it off!

Finding myself

What did you expect to find when you first started looking out here? The first time I typed in ‘spanking’ and found blogs I was really stunned. I couldn’t imagine who would write blogs like this. People who admitted – right out loud – that they liked spanking! How strange! Now I had a picture in my mind of who these people were. I figured all the women looked something like this…


In my mind they were all in their 20’s and weighted about 115. I mean really what kind of person would write about liking to be spanked, dominated, and ‘bossed around’ in a sexually relationship? I mean they had to be pretty strange.

The doms all looked something like this…


They were strong, sexy, totally competent and completely in charge. They knew exactly what their woman wanted, desired and needed and they always knew when to spank, what to spank with, and how hard and how long to spank... I mean if they weren’t perfect they wouldn’t be out here writing would they? But although this was what I expected to find what I actually found was much, much stranger!

I found myself. Most of the writers were women, most were in their mid to late 40’s (except for baby Grace). Most were married or in long term relationships, they had kids and bills, jobs and in-laws. These women love to be spanked. They wanted to explore the submissive side of their personality. Many of these women were the ones who first brought up the subject of spanking and most of the guys originally thought “What...? You want me to hit you?” But most listened and found that, whether or not they had given this any thought before, they really liked doing it and they liked where it led.

It was very strange to come to this totally unknown venue and find so many people just like me. Many of the new bloggers I see out here are younger. I have to say I am proud that so many women have the courage to come out about their desires much earlier that I did. I like to think that some of the blogs that have been here a while have encouraged spankos to accept themselves and let go of the fear and embarrassment.

I want to thank all the bloggers that I read now or have read in the past and all the commenters too. Because of all of you I not only feel normal I feel like I am part of a very, very special group of people. And even better, once I began blogging, Nick and I started looking like this!!