I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Saturday, April 25, 2009

Finding myself

What did you expect to find when you first started looking out here? The first time I typed in ‘spanking’ and found blogs I was really stunned. I couldn’t imagine who would write blogs like this. People who admitted – right out loud – that they liked spanking! How strange! Now I had a picture in my mind of who these people were. I figured all the women looked something like this…

In my mind they were all in their 20’s and weighted about 115. I mean really what kind of person would write about liking to be spanked, dominated, and ‘bossed around’ in a sexually relationship? I mean they had to be pretty strange.

The doms all looked something like this…

They were strong, sexy, totally competent and completely in charge. They knew exactly what their woman wanted, desired and needed and they always knew when to spank, what to spank with, and how hard and how long to spank... I mean if they weren’t perfect they wouldn’t be out here writing would they? But although this was what I expected to find what I actually found was much, much stranger!

I found myself. Most of the writers were women, most were in their mid to late 40’s (except for baby Grace). Most were married or in long term relationships, they had kids and bills, jobs and in-laws. These women love to be spanked. They wanted to explore the submissive side of their personality. Many of these women were the ones who first brought up the subject of spanking and most of the guys originally thought “What...? You want me to hit you?” But most listened and found that, whether or not they had given this any thought before, they really liked doing it and they liked where it led.

It was very strange to come to this totally unknown venue and find so many people just like me. Many of the new bloggers I see out here are younger. I have to say I am proud that so many women have the courage to come out about their desires much earlier that I did. I like to think that some of the blogs that have been here a while have encouraged spankos to accept themselves and let go of the fear and embarrassment.

I want to thank all the bloggers that I read now or have read in the past and all the commenters too. Because of all of you I not only feel normal I feel like I am part of a very, very special group of people. And even better, once I began blogging, Nick and I started looking like this!!


  1. Anonymous12:19 AM

    I was like you, PK. I found one blog and was shocked, thrilled, and relieved when I learned other spankos existed.

  2. PK. I think we all had similar experiences.
    I envy the young coming into the lifestyle now, things are so much more open now.
    Love and warm hugs,

  3. PK, how wonderful that you found yourself and this community and have encouraged many other women to follow in your footsteps. And your last picture on your post was easily worth a thousand words.

  4. Hey PK, I love your blog. I'll take two of whatever it was that made you look like that picture! I am one of the older newcomers, but I have "met" people older than me who are just starting this lifestyle. It is wonderful to see people living the way they need to to be happy and fulfilled. Thanks for sharing with us.

  5. Kitten,
    Blogs have done so much for me in accepting myself for who I am. Once you realize that so many people feel that spanking is completely normal you quit wondering and worrying about why you want it.

    I am happy for them too yet I wonder how they will feel at 50. I did all the 'independent thing' before I ask for some dominance. I am just curious as to how they will feel.

    Florida Dom,
    I hope I have help some people out here. Others helped me and I want to pass it on.

    LOL! I liked that last picture too.

    There are good people out here. I think we can learn a lot from each other.

    Now about that picture. You might not be able to pick us out of a line up from that but sometimes this lifestyle make me feel that we look like that! What could be better?

  6. Good morning PK, hope you had a lovely weekend.

    I'm glad it helped you PK, I know it did me and a lot of others Wished I'd found the courage to join this community a lot earlier, there are so many lovely helpful people out there

    I'm still amazed but very glad that some of the younger bloggers are coming out to share but I think probably as Paul says things are much more open now.

    Thanks PK.


  7. I like being baby grace, but I'm afraid I'm getting up there in years! Also, I think there are a lot of newbies younger than I! Plus, I may be baby grace in age, but my blog is pretty old, in terms of blogs!

    With that being said, Wow, you and Nick have certainly shaped up since the last I saw you! That diet is really working for you! And I didn't realize how YOUNG you look! Did I ever mention that I look JUST like Cindy Crawford and Bossman looks JUST like Tom Selleck?

    Yep, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

    I wrote a very long comment about the rest of your post, but I realized that it would make a great post for my own blog....so go there if you want to hear my opinion.

    Ok, gotta run before all these thoughts float right out of my head....


  8. I could have written this blog!! I'm 45 in July, never been involved in spanking, but am REALLY, wanting to be. How do you tell you husband of 25 years that you want to be spanked? Any suggestions?!!!

  9. Lucy! Do I have suggestions? LOL! My whole blog sometimes seems like one long suggestion. I never said a word to my husband until I was 49and we had been married 23 year. You can read back at some of my early posts. And if you want to you are welcomed to email me at


    Other wish just hang around and real all you can - there are great blogs out her.


  10. Anonymous2:09 PM

    Oh yes, we look nothing like any of this. We wear suits and sensible shoes, if you passed us in the street, you'd keep going....and its because we look just like everyone else that its so nice to have a blog and move among people who are like us...still, some good inspiration in those pics to do some more ab work...


  11. Recidavist,
    So nice to see you here. And so glad to inspire the ab work! I think our blogs are great for making us feel we are both normal and at the same time members in a very special group.