Year old meme

All about ME

I remember reading this for the first time on Cassie's site when I first started reading blogs. Here is my attempt. It was harder than I thought it would be. Thanks Theresa for posting this again.

My Personality:

-Mostly upbeat
-Optimistic
-Southern – all you southerners know what that means

My Sexual Preferences:

-Heterosexual (but watching two women can also be erotic)
-I am a spanko through and through
-Like my buddy Theresa I too am anal erotic. (I feel I see a lot of this in the blogs I read. Is this a spanko thing?)

My Fears and Inhibitions:

-Being found out – not as a spanko, just in general, all my secrets revealed.
-Reading aloud to adults
-Crying when I really don’t want to
-Being forced into a job that I do not feel qualified for

My Strengths:

-I am a loyal friend
-I am a good teacher
-I can usually make others comfortable

My Weaknesses:

-spelling
-Weight control
-If I am around someone who is sad or hurt about something I will often become depressed too.

What I Like About My Appearance:

I was upset that this one took me so long. I think I am about average looking but I had a hard time coming up with something particular that I really liked. This is the best I can do.

-I think I look comforting. People will come up and talk to me, kids or adults with out being in the least intimidated.
-I like the fact that I look like my twin!

My Background:

-Two extremely loving and supportive parents
-Small town girl
-The baby of the family (does it show)

What I Love:

-Nick and spending time alone with him
-My son and my daughter
-When I crawl in bed and Nick rolls over and spoons around me
-The changes in me and my life brought about by blogging

What I Loathe:

-The fact that our country is at war while I have an 18 year old son
-That most people view our lifestyle as something strange and unnatural
-prejudice in all forms, racial, gender, sexual orientation, religion …

What I Could Take or Leave:

-Teaching – only this year mostly I love it.
-Most outdoor activities
-Any household chores

PSS

I’ve been lucky. I have never been troubled by PMS. No problems with OCD. No one in my family is ADHD. I am very grateful to have avoided these. But I haven’t avoided everything. I have PSS and I have it bad -- Pre-Spanking Syndrome! I didn’t coin this term, it was Cindy from His to Spank, His to Love. But as soon as she mentioned it I knew I had it! And I know I have suffered with it most of my life.

The thing is I shouldn’t have it! I know why Cindy must suffer with it, I understand that Theresa is going to have to deal with it a while longer too. But I live with the cure and I still have it. I feel guilty when I think of how some of my friends long to be with their spankers and I sit here alone with Nick while Mollie is babysitting and … nothing! Yes I am being greedy, and needy and unfair. Last Wednesday was wonderful, I wrote about it and truly it couldn’t have been any better. But I asked him for the date. And like Eva said once – sometimes it just doesn’t count unless it’s his idea.

And if there is anyone out there who doesn’t think I DESERVE a spanking let me just add, while I was sitting here writing a slightly complaining post about him, while I sat snug in my recliner, under my warm blanket, cat by my side – Nick cooked supper, brought it to me, got me a drink and carried my plate back to the kitchen and reached down for my computer to put it back on my lap. While I sit here and complain!

I could almost guarantee that what ails me could be cured in a 10 minutes session every few days with the wooden spoon, the leather paddle or his belt. If we could sneak this in when Mollie is asleep or gone and even if we need to put off the loving for another time, I can promise him it would be like money in the bank!

Well you guys tell me (and Nick) what you think, should my whiney butt be ignored or spanked??

Trust

Nick and I have an extremely laid back relationship. I don’t know if issues of trust or jealously have ever come up. We married a little late and I think we both knew what we were looking for and we knew we had found it. I know we are together because we want to be. I suppose if one of us had wanted something else we wouldn’t still be here together.

An incident that happened several years ago shows our trust. I came home from work one day; Nick was already here stretched out on the couch. I settled down to read the news paper when Nick said casually “Do you have anything you want to tell me?” I looked over at him because it seemed like a strange question. He just looked back and waited. I couldn’t think of a thing I needed to tell him so I said “Nope, nothing new.” So he asked again “You sure you haven’t got anything important to tell me?”

Now when it comes to Nick and my marriage my conscience is a pure as the driven snow. So I asked “What in the world are you talking about?” Nick laughed and said “I got a call earlier from a representative of the Jerry Springer show. He told me that my wife had something important to tell me but that she wanted to do it on the show. The man said that the show would fly us all expense paid so that you can tell me whatever it is.”

I was totally dumbfounded! “So what did you tell him?”

“I told him I wasn’t interested in being on the show, which seemed to confuse the guy. He said, but sir you don’t understand we will fly you both here free.” Nick told him again no thanks. We really weren’t interested. The guy tried one more time. “Sir this means a lot to your wife, she wants to tell you something very important!” Nick’s response was “Well then I’m sure she will tell me. Thanks for calling by.”

I sat there amazed at this story. I asked “Did you get his number?? We have to call him back!”

“Why?”

“How else are we going to find out what I want to tell you?!”

We had a good laugh over the call. We never did find out if it was for real, if someone got the wrong number or if it was one of Nick’s friends, some of whom were, and are, capable of a good practical joke!

But I have thought a lot about that call over the years. I know some husbands would not have been as calm as Nick, as quick to brush it off. It could have caused some real problems in some marriages. I love what it says about our relationship, the fact that he utterly dismissed the possibility that I had anything negative or important that I was keeping from him.

Okay, I was keeping from him my desire to be spanked but that was something I kept hidden from everyone in the world and at that time I planned on taking that information to the grave with me so that doesn’t count!

I have a good guy folks – I hope everyone gets this lucky!

Wonderful Wednesday!

I know we have all had some pretty fine weekends since I’ve been reading blogs. Weekends are always nice. But I’ll match my Wednesday afternoon/evening against anyone this week!

I dropped Mollie off at her babysitting job on my way home form school. Nick was there when I got home and we talked a bit about our day. I checked out a few blogs and then I napped for a bit in my recliner. When I woke up I felt refreshed and ready for actions.

We played our special card game for a while. Since it was cold Nick demanded I removed a few layers before this “strip” game started to keep things even. I can never tell if I am winning or losing this darn game. If I come up with fewer points at the end of the round I get that many swats plus the bonus card I have to draw. As well as having to remove something. The upside is that if Nick loses the round I get to do some swatting too!

I started off by cheating a bit because I didn’t take something off 2 of the times I lost. When Nick realized this I told him it always happens “Don’t pay enough attention to your wife and she will cheat on you!" He retaliated by giving me all the swats in one spot as if the target isn’t big enough for variety!

I still don’t know if I won or lost but I did find myself naked getting a good spanking so you decide! Then there was that delicious, hot loving that followed. And then I got to lie in his arms and play with the vibrator.

Could it get any better? Oh yes! I was way too comfortable snuggled in our bed to move so Nick got up and made supper. Yes it sounds sweet and it was, but he also took one look at me curled up under the comforter and knew if he wanted anything to eat any time soon cooking it himself was the best idea!

I finally did get up and put all the toys away. Except for the spatula I saw peeking out from under the bed this morning. But since Mollie rarely opens her eyes before she gets to school she never saw it.

So come on folks – be honest, can anyone beat my Wednesday?

After a bit of further reading I see that Grace can surely give me a run for my money so I will change the question: Can anyone beat mine or Graces’ Wednesday?

The way it should have been

Nick and I went shopping Saturday it should have been a real nice time but it didn’t turn out that way. As usual poor Nick doesn’t really know what was going on. He knows part; we were at a small, touristy group of shops so the stores catered to smaller size women. Don’t ever go to these places with your husband to shop. Even thought I had a really good week weight-wise, looking at tiny clothes still made me sad. By the time we got back in the car he could tell I was upset and I told him the ‘feeling fat’ part of it but not the rest.

I am working on talking to him when I get like this but I am not there yet. He was as sweet as he could be and said things to try to make me feel better, but once I let myself get to that point not much will turn it around. I didn’t want to go anywhere else I just wanted to come home and feel sorry for myself. So today I decided to try my hand at fiction and rewrite the day the way I wish it had gone.

We arrived at the shops and Nick grabbed my hand and said “Come on, new panties first! I’ll let you pick the style you like but I'm picking the colors!” This is the best place to buy panties! And the reason I needed some is that I needed a smaller size. Halleluiah!!

After that very nice beginning the fun quickly went out of the shopping trip when no stores carried my size, evidently if you are over a size 10 don’t even bother! Feeling that only the skinny were allowed to have nice clothes and not being in the mood to shop at Tents ‘R Us I became quiet. I guess that is my earliest signal for I’m pissed, I’m hurt or I’m sad. When Nick noticed that I was teary he stopped and wanted to know what was wrong. I didn’t want to talk but I finally got out that I was feeling fat.

He seemed a bit annoyed. “You are doing great on the diet, you lost more than ever this week, you need a smaller size panties and you are feeling whiney because theses stores chose to cater to only one size. Come on I have a bit of shopping to do myself.”

Did I mention that there are two really nice kitchen supply stores at this outlet? Alright I admit my mood improved considerably as we entered the store. Nick headed to the wooded spoon/spatula department. He didn’t ask me any questions as he looked over the selection. He picked up several slapping them slightly against his palm. He finally decided on a wooden spatula with slots cut into it.

As we left the store with his new purchase I was feeling quite happy as I anticipated getting home and trying it out. But instead of heading home Nick drove to the far side of the parking lot where there were no car and few lights. He backed into a parking spot and turned to look at me.

What?

Nick started “You have to stop being hard on yourself about the weight. You concentrate on losing and I’ll be the one to be hard on you if you don’t. If you are getting upset with the sizes offered tell me that that you are pissed at the variety of sizes and we can tell the stores to kiss our asses as we look elsewhere. Don’t just stop talking and shut me out. Got it?”

“Umm, sure I hear you.” Interesting speech, I hadn’t heard this before.

Nick opened the door and said come on. Come on where? We are out on the edge of a rapidly emptying parking lot. To satisfy my curiosity I got out too and followed him to the back of the van. He opened the hatch and told me to lean over and put my hands on the floor. It was only then that I saw he had the new spatula in his hand. I laughed; this was definitely not Nick’s style. I said “Cute! But get serious, I’m not going to let you spank me out here where somebody might see. Let’s go home!”

Nick’s answer was “I didn’t ask you if you were going to let me. Now do you want to risk being seen getting a spanking with clothes on or on the bare?” Good heavens, he was serious! I was looking around in a slight panic but since I didn’t recognizing this mood I thought I decided t0 go along. I turned around and bent over. Well the damn spatula works! OWWW! Ten solid swats with that evil thing with no warm up made quite an impression! I suddenly wasn’t sure I was as anxious to get home where he would feel more comfortable letting go. He stood me up kissed me and we got back in the car. I was stunned. But as I shifted in my seat looking for a more comfortable position I became aware that I didn’t feel fat anymore, I felt loved and cared for and cherished and I suddenly realized that I actually pretty anxious to get home!

Snow's tag.

Things

Snow tagged me for five things you didn't know about me. If I haven’t told you by now I probably didn’t want you to know. But I thought I would give it a try. (It doesn’t matter if Eva knows some of these, I haven’t blogged about them, but she and I get into some long conversation on the phone.)

1. I used to practice my flirting skills on married men. I though they were safe. I could go as far as I wanted to, knowing I had an out – they were married. I know that makes me a tease and a bitch. Strangely enough the three men I became close to are still good friends and I am still good friends with all three wives. And back then the wives all knew exactly what was going on. I still find it all very confusing.

2. A roommate I had after college was raped while she was living with me. We went trough the pre –trial together but the night before the trial the man kidnapped and raped another women. He eventually plead no contest to my friends rape. I had graduated from high school with this man.

3. I enjoy talking to and visiting with old people. I like their stories even if I have heard them before.

4. I wrote/spoke my first spanking story into a tape recorder when I was about 8 or 9 years old. No sex but pretty good sound effects. I would take it to bed with me to listen to it as I fell asleep. Would you call this pre-blogging?

5. When I was 18 I assumed that all my friends were, and would remain, virgins until they married. During the week before and the week after I started college I found out that my 2 best friends were sleeping with their boy friends. I found out the same thing about my sister and my favorite cousin. And the first week of school I learned that all my roommates slept around indiscriminately. I began to feel like I was the strange one. I still remained a virgin for another 6 years. I waited for Nick! Although I hadn’t met him yet.

I am going to tag Eva and Cassie. And to make it harder on Eve it has to be something even I don’t know!

Go Nick!

Did you catch this? My sneaky, sexy, surprising, formerly vanilla, honey – my own Nick wrote a hot spanko/sex story! Not only that he went behind my back and sent it to Tiggr on his own! I think my guy is showing great potential!

When I read Tiggr’s Fantasy Friday I always read the authors first. When I saw that Nick and Adam were listed I was pretty sure I could eliminate them right off the bat. I felt sure I could pick between Dante and Todd. Then I read the story. Hmmmmm… it didn’t really sound like either of them. Really it didn’t, so I read it again. It almost sounded like Nick, but Nick doesn’t do a lot of typing and I didn’t really think he would just send it off to Tiggr on his own, so maybe Todd? But I asked him first thing Friday morning.

Me: Did you write the Fantasy Friday story today?

Nick: Did I what?

Me: Admit it, it was you! Tell me, you really wrote it didn’t you?

Nick: Well I have to read this one it must be pretty good.

After he read it he said “So I wrote this huh?” And he walked off laughing.

I really was sure, but was I? I thought it seemed like his writing but I thought he would admit it if it was and I really didn’t see him typing it all out and sending it in on his own. So I couldn’t wait to check it out this morning and there it was and there he was! It was him, I was right!!

Heaven help me Tiggr has his email address!

I am thrilled that Nick is writing! I’m impressed and I’m proud. Here is his story!

Seeking Forgiveness

CRASH!

One brief moment of carelessness. Now the antique Oriental vase that had graced the mantel for all of her married life lay shattered at Rachel’s feet. The vase given to Kevin and Rachel as a wedding present from Kevin’s grandmother. The vase brought back from his grandmother’s service in an embassy post. The irreplaceable vase!

Rachel stared at the pieces with mouth agape and mind reeling. How was she to tell Kevin? How would he react, what would he say?

When Kevin arrived from work, Rachel met him at the door with eyes downcast. “Darling, I have something terrible to tell you, I broke your grandmother’s vase. I was rearranging some photographs and I guess I was careless. I’m terribly sorry and wish I could fix things but I know it can’t be replaced. Please tell me what I can do to gain your forgiveness.”

“Rachel, I don’t know what to say. You’re right, we can’t turn back time. The vase is history.

I don’t want you to be upset with me, what can I do to make you forgive and forget?”

Kevin stared at Rachel before finally speaking “I can see that you want and need to put this behind us. Go upstairs and wait for me in the bedroom.”

Rachel nodded and silently headed for the bedroom, unsure what Kevin had in mind. She sat on the foot of the bed, head down, near tears, with a knot in the pit of her stomach. After several minutes Kevin entered the room and sat beside her. Rachel spoke in a whisper “I know how much you loved your grandmother, and I really hate that I broke the vase. I’ll do anything to make it up to you.”

Kevin took a deep breath and exhaled. “Turn and bend over the bed.” Rachel did as directed. Kevin stood and obtained the hairbrush from the dresser. Turning back to Rachel he placed one hand on the small of her back and began to paddle her with the hairbrush, slowly but firmly. Kevin spoke quietly, reminding Rachel of the importance of being careful, particularly with irreplaceable items.

After about twenty good swats Kevin had Rachel remove her clothing and directed her to position herself on hands and knees on the bed. He resumed his administrations with the hairbrush until Rachel was biting her lip and wincing with the fire building in her ass. Kevin paused, gently rubbing Rachel’s reddened butt. Sliding his hand between her thighs, his fingers found moist evidence of her growing passion.

Kevin removed his clothes and positioned himself behind Rachel. Kevin, now well aroused, slipped easily into Rachel and began thrusting. Reaching around he began rubbing her breasts and tugging at her nipples. Rachel’s breath quickened with her mounting excitement. Kevin took his hands and spread her cheeks slightly, giving him a better view of her little pink rosebud, which he began caressing with one thumb. A light moan escaped from Rachel’s mouth.

Several wonderful minutes later Kevin withdrew from Rachel’s pussy and began teasing her ass with his erection. Although they had enjoyed anal play in various degrees, Rachel had never been receptive to anal sex. As Rachel arched her back and raised her butt, Kevin sensed a change in attitude.

He placed the head of his cock against her opening and Rachel pressed back against him. Kevin pressed forward and felt himself slip past the tightness of her sphincter. Rachel let out a gasp and Kevin paused, allowing Rachel to get past the discomfort and to adjust to the unfamiliar fullness.

Rachel started rocking back against him signaling a readiness for more. Kevin resumed thrusting, slowly at first, but gradually increasing the tempo as his excitement soared. After Kevin’s climax they both collapsed onto the bed, Kevin holding her tightly and kissing the back of her neck.

Rachel lay motionless, except for her heavy breathing, a slight smile on her face. She was feeling forgiven and very much loved.

Kevin was sated and spent, amazed by the episode that they had just shared. He believed that Rachel was relieved to be able to put the broken vase behind them. He thought to himself I don’t think I will ever need to tell Rachel how much I disliked that vase.

He's at it again!

My son still finds it hilarious that his dull little mother has a blog. When ever he finds something like the following he always emails it to me. This is either college freshman syndrome. Or else he is just a smart ass. You realize he must get that from his father.

This says, “Well, if you're smart enough to stand on the table you're smart enough to start a blog, so either get down or go link my blog."

What am I going to do with this boy?

Happy Birthday CeeCi

I would love to be able to throw you the best birthday party you have ever had! Since I can’t do it in person I thought I would do it here where the sky is the limit. Welcome to the party!

I have sent my private jets to all corners of this continent to gather all our blogger friends together and of course we picked up a few loved one in England! Soon we were all boarding the USS Spanko! Now this is a ship for our kind, our kink!

Imagine the gift shop; could we ever drag ourselves away? CeeCi helped everyone pick our some party favors. There were paddles for Cassie, crops for Eva, nipple clamps and nipple rings for Cindy, floggers for Grace, canes for Padme, cuffs or Kallisto, plugs for Theresa, gags for Tiggr, hair brushes for Reesa, belts for Maggie, blindfolds for Suzy, lotions and vibrators for all! Now I’m throwing this party so pick out anything you like and just have them send the bill to me!

The dinner that first night was so much fun! Of course all we girls had a wonderful time talking endlessly but I was so pleased to see how well the men bonded! After the meal the men went off by themselves for just a bit. They were all together Paul, Tom, Mojo, Bossman, Randy, Adam and Nick. Joining them were Dave, Will, Anakin, D, Dante, Raven, Spanky and Todd. Only one man was still sitting there looking slightly bewildered as to why he and his wife had been invited on this cruise. I was pleased to see Paul and Tom break away from the group and come over to him. Quietly they said to him, “MrC, come with us please, there is something we need to discuss with you.” All eyes were on him as they all returned a half hour later. I heard him mutter something about “Can’t believe she has held out on me this long!” He came over and whispered something in Maggie’s ear as he helped her from her seat and headed with her to their room. Come to think of it that was the last time I remember seeing Maggie sit on the cruise!

Everyone seemed to enjoy the photo sessions especially! All spanking positions were encouraged, multiple sessions, a variety of implements. All of us enjoyed the grope – I mean group pictures. It was amazing how much we all looked alike from that angle! A special thanks to Bonnie, Paul and Sky for taking a bit of time each day to hold workshops on their specialties. Yes I know Bonnie was always late but it wasn’t her fault. Randy always wanted to give a review right before she spoke. And another special thank to all the volunteers who signed up as subjects for Paul and Sky’s demonstrations. Sorry we didn’t get to use everyone but the lists went on for page after page!

The night time entertainment was super. I think the highlight was a toss up between the ‘Newlywed Game’ and the famous blogger scene reenactments! In the Newlywed Game it was hard to tell what was causing all the girls to try so hard to match their man’s answer. Was it the wonderful prize promised to the winner or was it the on stage, bare bottom spanking that each lady received for an incorrect answer? Very hard to tell!!

Though the Newlywed Game was wonderful I think the “Great Blogger reenactments” had to be my favorites! Eva and Adam tied with Tiggr and Dante for the category “Most Creative Spanking use of a House Hold Appliance.” The recreation of Over the Washer was well received as was Microwave to the Bedroom! CeeCi and Mojo took the comedy prize for The Angle is just off! This recreation of the evening that neither the desk nor the chair nor bed was just what they were looking for had us all rolling in the floor. Grace and Bossman came in second with Grace’s pre- recorded voice over reading of That was the Worse as they recreated it on stage. But easily the hand down winner was Cassie and Tom as they recreated the famous Spanking in the Casino scene to a roaring standing ovation!

The birthday dinner on the last night was the best! Nice soft chairs were place at all the ladies seats and after days on this cruise they were so appreciated! Every imaginable delicacy was available. We all dined, dance and finally sang happy birthday to CeeCi as she stood ready to cut the cake made especially for the occasion. We all ended up on deck watching fire works which eventually spelled out Happy Birthday CeeCi!

Parting the next morning was sad. There were hugs and tears and much wincing and bottom rubbing as the events of the night before were remembered mentally and physically. And for once the men did not get off so easy, there was wincing on their parts too. All that hand shaking on those sore red palms served them all right! I guess we showed them! It was wonderful CeeCi. Best party I have been to in a long time, okay ever! Happy Birthday dear CeeCi and if only one of my stories ever comes true, I hope it’s this one!

What a day!

What a day! It started off normal got up, went to school, emailed Eva to complain about having to get up and go to school, the usually stuff. But then the day exploded. With out going into a lot of detail, the boss asked me to do some scheduling that is difficult and time consuming for me. I gave up good blogging time to work on the stupid thing and this morning I find out that a seventh grade teacher had made her own schedule (for this 6^th grade teacher). And we are going with her schedule.

Mad doesn’t begin to cover it! This has happened before, being asked to some time consuming, tedious task just to have my work blown off (often by this same teacher). I am the calm one on the hall, so when I came in mad as hell and slamming doors (kids were not there yet) I think I got everyone’s attention. Several of my colleagues came in to off comfort and support and I was able to vent to them as they told me to calm down everything would be okay. Now I got my most practical help, however from Eva as we emailed back and forth suggestions like slashing tires, putting sugar in their gas tanks and one Eva had to tell me about – putting bologna on the car door car to mess up the paint! How I love having a friend who really knows just what to say!

This new schedule was to be discussed at a meeting but I saw the boss and told him I would not be at the meeting because obviously no one needed my input and I could read the schedule on my own. He asked me to meet in his office later and the teacher tried to explain to me in little words what she had done. Believe it or not I like this teacher but she has always made me feel inferior, stupid. I just don’t do well in face to face meetings. The “I’m stupid” washed over me so fast I just got up and walked out of he meeting and back to my room where I locked the door and cried for about 10 minutes. I emailed the boss, because for some reason I do so much better on email! Before my planning time was over the boss came over and apologized again and again. Wasn’t his fault, really all these feelings come from a time way before he came.

But the reason I am posting about all this is that you guys actually helped! Although the feeling of being stupid blindsided me for a minute I did not let the feeling hang around long. I could almost hear your encouragement. I know I can do many things that others can’t or don’t want to do. I can spend my days locked in a room with various 11 and 12 year olds and get the majority of them to understand fraction! I can take a dog or cat that has been in a fight and sew it back together good as new! How many people do you know that can do both.

During all this Eva was sending me calming pictures while encouraging me to “go on out and hurt someone”. And while we both knew it was all in fun it felt good to share those feeling!!!!! I even got to talk to her on the way home after she assured me that her phone was both water proof (in case I cried again) and shock proof too, thank goodness!

I went to the gym after school so Mollie got to give Nick the first version of the story. He let me tell him all again once I got home. Mollie was asleep so we got to do some kissing and hugging in the kitchen and finally, finally nothing that had happened at school mattered all that much. I have to remember school is a job. Being home with Nick and Mollie is my life. But thanks for being there guys.

Wondering again...

I have been wondering again. Don’t panic Nick, I’m just curious. When I came out to Nick about spanking I knew it was time to let him know that he was married to a spanko. I really had no idea exactly were it would lead. What form it might take. I am thrilled by what has happened to us. Instead of being pleasant roommates we are truly lovers. I have gone from avoiding sex, avoiding touching, avoiding talking about anything important, I guess really avoiding Nick… to loving sex, loving touch, loving talking to him, just loving him!!

I am so lucky that Nick is willing to spank; I know many vanillas are not even willing to try. But not Nick!! He is an enthusiastic spanker! He swats in the kitchen. He makes wonderful spanking toys for us. My spankings are fun and sexy and playful. Foreplay at its very best! I am very satisfied with the way my life is going!

Is there anymore? Could it be any better? Is there something else I long for? Well if you have been reading her long you have to know that I have a real interest in discipline. I don’t worry about it any more, but yeah it’s still in my mind. For some couples it seems to come so naturally, Cassie and Tom, Dave and Cindy, Reesa and D to name a few. It seems to be natural. What I keep asking myself is why do I long for this? I think this goes way back. Maybe it was at the age of 4, maybe 9, maybe even 15 but somewhere in my spanko thoughts from early on I equated discipline/punishment with caring. In the fantasies that I’ve had for decades punishment proved someone was cherished and cared for.

Now this is not a whining post or even one where I want something. I do not have one doubt in my mind that Nick loves me, cares for me and cherishes me. I have no complaints at all. I just wonder why I still have the fascination when I am getting the wonderful spankings I have always wanted. (Well, not as many as I want.) I still wonder if Nick would ever really use spanking as discipline. If I really made him mad I don’t thing so. Even thought we have always gotten along well I know when Nick is pissed with me. When he is, it usually makes me mad but would I ever say anything. The most I would ever do is to give him the finger or a muttered “Kiss my ass” as he left the room. And all would blow over by the next day.

I have always been one to avoid trouble. When I was as a kid and now at work and at home I have always tried to avoid trouble. If I were to choose to hide something from Nick you can be sure he would NEVER find out. I am not perfect but I know how to stay out of trouble. But is that what I want? I know I am curious to know if I really made him mad would spanking even occur to him. I just don’t see it. Is he really a converted spanko? Or is he just a very accommodating vanilla?

I wonder what would happen if I just said “Screw the diet; I am tired of trying, tired of exercising, I want to eat anything I want. Let’s call the whole thing off.” At this time I have no intentions of finding out what would happen. I am not ready to stop trying. But would he hold me to it. Would he say “Well okay, you started all this, if you’re through fine”. Or would he say “No this is a health issue and you are doing it whether you like it or not.” And would he actually back it up with a spanking if I was saying no? I wonder. I am not worried about it; I am not agonizing about it. I just wonder. And there may be more post on this subject because I keep wondering.

Party time?

Todd and Suzy asked a wonderful question on this Thursday’s Round Table discussion. Please head over there to add your two cents worth. The question they asked was about spanking parties, have you attended, would you, etc. I love questions that cause me to explore myself and this one certainly did.

My answer, “Don’t be silly, I would never go to one of those! That would just be too weird! What would ‘those’ people be like?” Wait a minute, ‘those’ people, you mean spankos, you mean me?? Then I really began thinking about it. What might it be like to be around other like minded people? To be able to discuss spanking, discipline, the merits of paddle over crops, what is quiet, how to get privacy with kids at home. To actually walk through an exhibition area devoted to spanking and all that goes with it- the stuff of dreams! All of this wonderful interaction and not a bit of typing involved.

But still several major stumbling blocks would hold me back from really considering it. First I just can’t picture how it works. Like for something like a Shadow Lane party. Would you have to have an invitation? Can you just register and show up? How would you do that and then what? Do you walk in the lobby to see a spanking occurring in every corner? That would be a bit

strange for those guests having no idea what they have stumbled into. I mean are their meeting, different lectures, how would you go about meeting people? And I don’t mean to swap around. I am just talking about talking and visiting and sharing ideas with other couples and individuals much like we do on the blogs. But under what situations would this occur. Would I have to go to the front of the room and say “My name is Elis and I’m a spanko.” I’m just a small town girl and I need details!! Should I ever get the nerve to try to talk Nick into such a trip I don’t want to get there just to make a fool of myself!

Now the second reason I would probably never go and here is the real deal breaker, appearance. I want you to know that I know exactly what every one of you looks like. Yeah, yeah some of you pretend that you need to lose weight and that some of you are over 40 but I know it’s a con. In my mind everyone I talk to out here looks no older than thirty (men thirty-five). Your bodies are perfectly sculptured and everyone has the butt of a 20 year old, everyone except me. I really do need to lose weight, I really am 50, and my butt has been in a 50 year battle with gravity and let me assure you I am not winning!

On the other hand in a cruel twist of fate Nick is so good looking! He is not tall but he is slim and he is tone, hard muscle, with the definite look of a spanko, as one friend commented he has the real look of a college professor going on. I would feel at a party people would be thinking, “Oh he could do better than that!” In our own little world this does not upset me. I know he loves me but how would I feel in a crowd of young, beautiful spankos? And then I try to tell myself that I can not be the only one in my age and size range that would be there.

So because of Todd and Suzy’s question I have questioned my firm idea that I would never consider such an adventure. I want to know more. It might stay just a fantasy thought. But I am thinking.

Evening at home.

Watching reruns of Law in Order.

Listening to Mollie talk non-stop all evening.
After the first several hours I kinda lost track of what the conversation was about.

Wandering into the kitchen for some mindless nibbling the night before weigh-in.

Wishing more of my friends were back to posting daily since the holidays.

Going back and forth checking my email.

Wondering if I will ever think of anything interesting to write about again.

Wishing that Nick would spank me some morning before work.

Wishing it was tomorrow so that I could read more of Paul’s story.

Okay that’s how I spent my evening. I really hope some of you are doing better than this. And if you are please write about it. Living vicariously is a big part of a spanko life, that is unless both partners are die hard spankos and all the kids have left home.

A star is born!

Okay, I have held off as long as I could and now I just have to do it! I have to brag on my son just a bit more. First, although he has never mentioned any classes to me except his acting classes he managed to get 4 A’s and 2 B’s this first semester. Now remember my son’s goal is to be a working actor on Broadway. I think there are other careers that might have offered him more job security but his life is not mine to try to control.

He was one of only 5 freshman cast in a play his first semester at college. He was fantastic in the play – okay he only had 2 lines but he was still the best! After the play he was asked by two upper classmen to be in their one acts. It was for their directing class and they get to pick their actors. He only had 8 days to learn both parts. Meanwhile there were tryouts of the second semester play.

He was cast again! One of only 2 freshmen to be cast both semesters! Finally he is in a play I want to see! He did some terrible plays in high school. Shakespeare (and lets face it, high school Shakespeare is awful most of the time). They also did the Crucible – a cheerful little play! But this is a comedy and he has a small but funny part. His best friend at college got the female lead.

After the play tryouts were over he began getting ready to auditions for the Bachelor of Fine Arts Program (BFA). Usually around 40 try out but only 12 are chosen. Of course he made it!! These 12 will be in an intensive program together for the next 3 ½ years. The last semester of the program they go to New York to put on a performance for agents and talent scouts there.

When my boy is on Broadway I will come out of hiding and maybe we can all meet in New York and go to the premier together!

Birthday details

I finally have a free minute and I want to tell you about my birthday celebration with Nick. You guy gave me a wonderful morning with all your birthday greetings. I was more than remembered at school when during the chorus and band concert one of my fellow teachers drug me on stage so that the entire 900 people in attendance could sing to me. We had a wonderful dinner with my suspected spanko friends and then, then… home, to our 14 year old. Do you know that 14 year old girls don’t sleep! Oh well, we knew we could carve out some time with in the next few day. Nick goes to bed by 10 where I like to stay up until around midnight.

Mollie was up until after 11:30 then she was finally asleep, but of course, so was Nick. Oh well, I still crawled in and snuggled up. Nick turned toward me and looked at the clock and said “It’s still officially your birthday.” Mollie had just moved her nice double bed to the basement (don’t ask why, I have no idea!) But if she is going to leave a perfectly good bed down there when we can make more noise, well…

So tiptoeing past her room with the toy box we head downstairs. The bed is just about the right height to lean over as Nick noticed at once! He pulled out 5 toys, one for each decade. So I got 10 with each lovely toy plus the one to glow on! As Nick finished he asked “Did I count right, was that 51?” I assured him that the count was right and he said “Ok then anything else is gravy!” And he continued with a fine tail warming and wonderful loving making. You noticed that I didn’t say I minded that Mollie moving the bed!

We snuck back to our room, put the toy box back under the bed and I assumed this was the end of a wonderful birthday! As we woke the next morning there was a little snuggling, a little rubbing and touching while we sleepily decided whether or not to pursue the idea any farther. You know that lovely, gentle, quiet lovemaking as you first wake up some mornings – that’s what I was expecting. That is not what I got. What occurred was truly some of the best lovemaking I can remember! Ever!! What a birthday celebration!

On Sunday we went to my in-laws for another celebration. My mother-in-law’s birthday is the day after mine. Later after we got home Mollie went somewhere, I can’t remember where, but Nick came to get me and lead me back to the bedroom. He told me he was sorry that he had forgotten to use the belt any on Friday night and didn’t want to leave that out of the birthday weekend. So I was the happy recipient of a second birthday spanking. Honestly, if I had known how much fun it was to turn 50 I would have done it years ago!

Hi ho, hi ho

It's back to work I go! I have no idea if this is a sad post or a happy one. Christmas vacation is over. No more afternoon naps, no more watching daytime drivel on TV, no more mindless grazing on Christmas treats, no more extra hours to cruise the blogs and catch up on my reading. And worst of all no more waking up slowly and making love before the rest of the house wakes. I really am going to miss all these things. I don’t expect a great deal of sympathy, at least not from anyone except other teacher. Certainly not from Nick since he gets very little time off. But Eva and Snow know what I’m talking about.

But on the other hand, I probably function better when there is a bit of structure in my life. Hidden deep within me, this year very deep, is the love of teaching. Going back means the rush and stress of Christmas is behind me. Going back means that summer vacation is creeping closer. Going back means that I will keep a much better track of what I am eating. And strangely enough it means that I will make it to the gym more often. Daily routines do help.

I had a wonderful New Years day! After my rocky end of the year I emailed Nick – you folks do keep telling me to communicate! He is such a good guy. With Mollie at the house he decided we needed to check things out at my parent’s old house – the empty one. We checked things out but then I got what I really needed. With no toys around the belt worked just fine! At least I will be going back to school with a smile on my face. That’s always fun and it really bugs the other teacher! But I really am going to miss the naps!