I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Saturday, January 06, 2007

Party time?

Todd and Suzy asked a wonderful question on this Thursday’s Round Table discussion. Please head over there to add your two cents worth. The question they asked was about spanking parties, have you attended, would you, etc. I love questions that cause me to explore myself and this one certainly did.

My answer, “Don’t be silly, I would never go to one of those! That would just be too weird! What would ‘those’ people be like?” Wait a minute, ‘those’ people, you mean spankos, you mean me?? Then I really began thinking about it. What might it be like to be around other like minded people? To be able to discuss spanking, discipline, the merits of paddle over crops, what is quiet, how to get privacy with kids at home. To actually walk through an exhibition area devoted to spanking and all that goes with it- the stuff of dreams! All of this wonderful interaction and not a bit of typing involved.

But still several major stumbling blocks would hold me back from really considering it. First I just can’t picture how it works. Like for something like a Shadow Lane party. Would you have to have an invitation? Can you just register and show up? How would you do that and then what? Do you walk in the lobby to see a spanking occurring in every corner? That would be a bit

strange for those guests having no idea what they have stumbled into. I mean are their meeting, different lectures, how would you go about meeting people? And I don’t mean to swap around. I am just talking about talking and visiting and sharing ideas with other couples and individuals much like we do on the blogs. But under what situations would this occur. Would I have to go to the front of the room and say “My name is Elis and I’m a spanko.” I’m just a small town girl and I need details!! Should I ever get the nerve to try to talk Nick into such a trip I don’t want to get there just to make a fool of myself!

Now the second reason I would probably never go and here is the real deal breaker, appearance. I want you to know that I know exactly what every one of you looks like. Yeah, yeah some of you pretend that you need to lose weight and that some of you are over 40 but I know it’s a con. In my mind everyone I talk to out here looks no older than thirty (men thirty-five). Your bodies are perfectly sculptured and everyone has the butt of a 20 year old, everyone except me. I really do need to lose weight, I really am 50, and my butt has been in a 50 year battle with gravity and let me assure you I am not winning!

On the other hand in a cruel twist of fate Nick is so good looking! He is not tall but he is slim and he is tone, hard muscle, with the definite look of a spanko, as one friend commented he has the real look of a college professor going on. I would feel at a party people would be thinking, “Oh he could do better than that!” In our own little world this does not upset me. I know he loves me but how would I feel in a crowd of young, beautiful spankos? And then I try to tell myself that I can not be the only one in my age and size range that would be there.

So because of Todd and Suzy’s question I have questioned my firm idea that I would never consider such an adventure. I want to know more. It might stay just a fantasy thought. But I am thinking.


  1. Anonymous12:24 PM

    I have been to a Shadow Lane party, you register through their site, or you just show up and register when you get there, like I did. You might be surprised by the crowd, everyone there is not young nor do they have a perfectly sculpted body. The party can be fun, but much like anything else it really is what you make it. I only had fun because I met up with so many online friends I knew through an online spanking forum community. Without that tie and that group, I would not have enjoyed the party nearly as much. Those type parties are not for everyone. Having a perfect body is a myth perpetuated by some evil doer somewhere, and when I find that person.... I am 42, and the majority of those at the party were regular folk at about that age range. The exception of course were the stars of the shadlow lane vids, they always look in great shape. I certainly wouldn't feel pressured or obligated to go if I were you, however if some of your blogger friends were there, you really might enjoy the experience, having some spanking parties and lunches with them. Best wishes Elis!


  2. Dear PK, I really am 71 and the sculpted body has melted somewhat.
    It would have been so nice to meet like minded people in a social setting.
    If ever I win the big one, I'll hold a spanking party and fly all our friends in and PK we'd have a ball.
    Come, let me stroke you. *G*
    Warm hugs,

  3. I too wondered if most spankos were actually young, firm, etc. I have seen enough photos online by now, that I see it isn't necessarily the case. We seem to come in all shapes, sizes and ages. I don't think I could go for the public aspects of a spanking party, but am really glad for the blogs!

  4. I'm with you PK, I don't really want to go. But maybe some of us all getting together one day to talk, and keep our clothes on. That would be fun!

    Huggs look for an email!

  5. Anonymous8:05 AM

    There ya go. I like Theresa's idea. Clothes on. That would be fun.


  6. Julie,
    Thanks for the information. I feel you are right, in order to feel comfortable enough to enjoy the party you should probably plan on going with friends. Knowing at least a few other people could make all the difference.

    I never let reality get in the way of my fantasies! I know what you look like! You tell me when the party is and I will pay my own way. Of course we may need to have it in the states some of these girls say that they won't fly over water. When one of us wins the lottery we will work out the details!

    Kallisto, Theresa, Eva,
    I agree with all of you, I have no desire to take my spankings public. But yes meeting in a social situation with many of the people I have met here would be fantastic. I would like to discuss our job, our kids, and many other things as well as our favorite "sport"! Anything more intimate than that could wait until Nick and I are alone! Now the exception to this might be if Paul ever host a party, if he does I am leaving my options opened!!


  7. Hi PK,
    The spanking party I attended was a lot of fun, if a little intimidating for first timers. It was held in one wing of a big hotel, and all those registering for the party were booked into rooms in that wing over two floors. Two rooms were used for the party gathering spot, and the doors were open at all times. The group that hosted the party put on buffets, had various spanking vendors with displays and they put on skits in the evenings - but during the day people were in and out saying hello, and mostly doing their own thing in the city. The second night was a costume party with a theme. Public spankings were not at all the norm, except for bantering among those who knew each other well. I met people from all over the United States, still email with some today - 6 years later - and the people there were the same as those you would expect to see at a PTA meeting, or something else of that type. All types of professions, body shapes and sizes, ages - but in regards to gender - they did put a limit on how many single men could attend. You make your own rules, set your own boundaries and several that we talked to at the party did not engage in any spanking activities at all.
    Basically, if you were to take a group of bloggers who you regularly talk to online, and all decide to meet in a city for a weekend, having group dinners and such in the evening and sight seeing, alone or in groups during the day - that would be a spanking party by many standards! In fact, toward the end of the party, there was a group of people already setting up another gathering to happen six months later in Vegas, and their biggest concern was how to find time to fit in the sight seeing they deemed most important!
    I guess, it was like minded people just coming together and feeing accepted. I have to admit though, as we stood in the lobby to register, I couldn't help whispering to my ex-husband - "Hey ... think he's a spanker ... her ... or him ... what about that one?" It was a very neat experience all in all!

  8. Cindy,
    Thanks for the information. Its an idea that I will roll around in my head a while.

    I would love to meet someday with many of the people that visit here. I consider all you folks as friends, it would be a blast.


  9. Anonymous3:13 PM

    Hi Elis,
    I thought it was a great question. I enjoyed our spanking parties online. They were a lot of fun. Which reminds me it's almost time to do one again. I'd like to go to one publically but I havn't heard of one in Vancouver. Maybe I'll have to look into that..

  10. Anonymous3:47 PM

    Not really interested in a spanking party per se, my husband would be worried and uncomfortable and he's in enough shock at my confession of long hidden spanking desire after 30 years together (why did I wait so long?...). I would love to meet all my friends, of course, and Paul, if you ever show up on this side of the pond...well, I'm afraid my man is in for another surprise. Wild horses wouldn't keep me away!


  11. Padme,
    If you do find one to go to I hope you will give all the details!!

    None of us know why we waited. I would never consider a party in any form unless Nick was comfortable going so I am not holding my breath. Now if Paul were to come I think lots of our husbands would be in for a surprise.

  12. Anonymous10:37 PM

    Hey Elis,
    Glad we got you thinking! We've been thinking about this for a while now.

    Thanks for mentioning our blog. We got a lot of votes for this Roundtable... and were a little surprised to find that an overwhelming majority had at least some interest in Spanking Parties. The thought of a bunch of 22 year old super models running around more than crossed our mind too, lol. There was also a concern that most attendees would be far more into heavy spanking than we are.

    But, the more we read about different SP... the more we came to realize that they really are populated by 'normal' folks. Young, old and lots of middle age. Family people with jobs and bills and a real life to deal with. The only real difference is, they're into spanking. Some are more into than we are, some less so.

    Guess there is one more difference too... these people are bold enough to take that plunge and actually go to a Spanking Party!

    We're considering two different possible Spanking Party options. One is ShadowLanes in the summer, and the other is a smaller group (about 150 people) called 'Texas All-State SpankingParty.' Both are pretty similar. You join an online group, and meet and chat with others that plan on going to the party... networking.

    The party guests stay at the same hotel/resort and rent space for spankers to use. A ballroom/meeting area is used for the group to mingle in. There is likely to be spanking play here. The Texas one includes some bare-bottom spanking. You can just watch, or play with your partner... or play with others. Zero pressure though. Many do nothing but watch.

    There are vendor areas that offer different spanking related materials. Food is offered... might be a DJ. People get together and go out and see the sights, have dinner... talk about life... and spanking.

    There is also the option to head back to your room and do as you please. Really doesn't seem to be a set way to go about enjoying the party.

    If you want some more info on that Texas group... just drop us an Email.

    ~Todd & Suzy

  13. T & S,
    I will keep all this in mind and I will email if I ever get more serious!