There are so many different lifestyles associated with TTWD. When I began blogging I found a group of women who were in the same place I was. We were lifelong spanko who had hidden this part of ourselves for many years. When we came out and told our men what we wanted – they were surprised. Shocked actually, but they seem more than willing on the spanking part. Nick knew it made me feel sexier than I ever had and that really was a bonus in our marriage. But most of the guys in that group I first fell in with never really understood our need or desire for discipline. That was okay. We girls complained good naturedly to each other and our fellows tried to do a little discipline but for me it was never real. Nick and I never had a real dd relationship. There have been times that it has really bothered me but as time has gone on I’m okay with it.
But this isn’t what I’m seeing out here now. There are so many good blogs and these couples are really trying for a real dd relationship. There are guys who seem to be taking the initiative in the ‘spanko’ relationship. They are holding their significant other accountable for their actions and I love reading their blogs. But as much as I enjoy reading them I can’t find ‘me’ anymore. It was like we were all struggling to figure this out together and suddenly everyone got it ‘right’. I felt left behind. I just don’t find as many people who are going through the same things I am. On the blogs that talk about true dd I don’t know what to comment sometimes other than ‘well done’.
Now I know I’m giving a very simplistic view of very complicated relationships. No relationship is perfect. Every single relationship has it good and bad points as well as their ups and downs, but I miss the conversations with those who are in situations more like mine. I like where Nick and I are now but I don’t like feeling a little alone in the spanko world. I know lots of you come by and read every day. Surely I’m not the only one that’s trying to reconcile the fantasies I used to have and the type of things I thought I wanted to a more realistic view of what is really best for my real life marriage.
Gee that all sounded way heavier than I meant it to. I’m just mulling over the changes in the blog world. There are some blogs and people I really miss and some newer blogs and people I am really enjoying getting to know. And I’m not even through thinking yet. The next topic rolling around in my head is what I can do to get those super sexy feelings back like they were when I first came out. It may take a little work, but I bet Nick will help me with the research if I ask him nicely.