I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, November 15, 2010

Talking about sex can improve your love life!

When I first found blogs and came out to Nick I pretty much felt like a teenager with her first love. I wasn’t sexually active as a teen. I missed out on the ‘locker room/pajama party’ talks, at least in a first hand way. I enjoyed listening but couldn’t really contribute. By the time I was sexually active I was in my mid-20’s and since we were grown up ‘talking’ about it with my friends wasn’t something we did. But jump ahead 20 some year and I find blogs. WOW! I had found a place where people were not only talking about sex – they were talking about sex and spanking!! Throw me in the briar patch!!

Everyone was anonymous, we weren’t looking one another in the eye so we talked about EVERYTHING! We talked about orgasms and how to have more and better ones. We discussed female ejaculation – not a discussion of if it happened, but talking with friends for whom this was the norm. We discussed different erogenous zones, sexy movies to watch, we discussed sex toys and spanking implements, and vibrators. We talked of nipple clamps, ways to improve the taste of a blow jobs. We discussed enemas, and anal sex. We wrote about our spanking play sessions and our love making including some of the more exciting places we had been spanked or we had made love.

One summer Nick and I drove to the mountains and found a spot way up on a secluded hillside, behind a large rock to do a little spanking and love making it the great outdoors. Would we have done that if I hadn’t been talking to all my friends about their most exciting places? Probably not. Would we have even done it if somewhere in the back of my mind I wasn’t looking forward to sharing the story with my friends? Again, probably not. It seemed easier then with my closest friends before we had met face to face. Was it crude, yeah. Immature, I guess. But I know it really helped me open up and realize that anything that went on between two consenting adults that made them both happy was just fine.

But the most of these friends I talked with don’t choose to talk about these things any more. I completely understand, but I miss the conversations anyway. It helped to keep my mind engaged and thinking. So all this doesn’t answer my question about what I need to do now to return to that interest and excitement. I’m guessing that at my age I won’t be meeting tons of people that are going to talk about sexploits with me again. So I’m going to have to work on this myself. Now I've done all this thinking it's time to come up with some thoughts about what we should be doing to keep all the wonderful parts of our marriage going and continue to explore with Nick about ways to press on with our journey to keep the passion and excitement alive in our marriage.


  1. PK, I'm going through a dry patch,
    my fantasy glands need stimulating.
    Hopefully your fantasy will spring to life, you are a lot younger, after all.
    Love and warm hugs,

  2. PK..i am older than you...yeah it does happen. I am more sexually adventurous now than i have ever been, and more "active" than i have been in a long time! I think you are on track to finding your mojo again! abby

  3. PK: Good luck on your journey and thank you for sharing it with us. I hope you continue to find what you are looking for.


  4. Talking about sex and reading about sex and thinking about sex all can improve your love life!

    My biggest problem is writing about something without thinking...this is already been written about. Trying to come up with something new and fresh is my biggest problem....well...that and all my health problems..but I won't go into that...LOL


  5. Anonymous12:50 PM

    A little crudity and immaturity(well placed, of course) will keep you young and vibrant.

  6. happy to talk with you anytime...problem with me sharing is that I don't have much exciting to share in terms of sexual experience...I have two children so I know I have had sex before and my husband and I have explored TTWD a little bit but even in my late 30's I still feel a novice to all of it and maybe still a little shy...yes, I admit that I am a bit shy when it comes to sex...I think in the beginning when I was reading the blogs it did help me feel more comfortable and safe to talk about it... thanks for sharing

  7. Paul,
    I’m expecting mine to spring back, lots of ups and downs in this old life. But fantasies can last a life time so I’m expecting yours to kick in any time now.

    I hope so, I do feel more relaxed as I’ve gotten older and much more willing to try things.

    I’m glad you don’t mind my rambling. It might not always make sense to everyone but it helps me in my journey.

    I totally agree that most of what we can say has been said. I really not saying I want go back into detail about everything but I guess I just miss that particular time. It was a lot of fun. Not something I can recapture but something I am grateful I had for a while.

    Thanks for saying that! LOL! I’m seen as well respected, mature, professional. That’s all well and good but a bit of crudity and immaturity can be fun!

    I was definitely a novice at 49! You never know what may happen or when. Keep reading, thinking and exploring. And keep hoping.

  8. There's nothing wrong in talking about sex it's not a dirty word.

    In my opinion couples should talk about it more, it could help.