I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Thursday, November 04, 2010

Please tell me this ain't just old age.

When I was trying to decide how I have been feeling lately the word doldrums came to mind. I looked it us to be sure and one of the definitions seemed to fit perfectly – state of inactivity or stagnation. Yep, I say that covers it pretty well. The dictionary didn’t list a cure. So I’m still on the looking.

Another definition mentioned the word depressed. I didn’t pick that one because at the moment it doesn’t fit. I don’t feel sad just extremely unmotivated to do anything! I don’t comment like I used to our here and I miss that, I don’t write as many posts as I used to and I miss that too, I don’t write any fiction for this site, I don’t write Nick emails much anymore and that’s usually fun. And if I’m not doing these things you can be sure I don’t want to eat healthy, or go to the gym, or walk at the nice walking park I pass on my way home, or play the wii – zip, nada, nothing.

So do I want/need a spanking to get me back on track?


That’s hard to admit. It scares me that I’m not interested in having Nick spank me. I mean it really scares me. He has spanked just a little lately. I appreciate the attention. I’m happy that it isn’t gone from our lives completely. But right now, I just don’t have the craving. He’ll hug me in the kitchen and give me several good, friendly swats and that’s fine. I don’t want any more.

Nick has been working longer hours. Today Mollie was working and Nick kinda apologized for just sitting around napping a little rather than use our privacy for some play time. I had been feeling bad that I wasn’t initiating but the old – state of inactivity or stagnation – was upon me again. I really feel better knowing he’s feeling a little listless too. Were happy and comfortable with each other, we enjoy cuddling each night as I crawl into bed. We’re not mad or distant or anything like that and that’s good! So hopefully this is normal in a marriage. I just don't don't want to think this is old age.


  1. I would comment on this post but I'm pretty much in the doldrums too. Maybe I'll drag myself to the gym this morning. Or maybe be okay with not going. I think I'll be okay either way. Sorry I couldn't comment.

  2. Darn B'man,
    If you had commented I might have felt better. We both just have to perk up! LOL!

  3. Anonymous9:04 AM

    Believe it or not, the time of year has a lot to do with those feelings. This is Holiday season for one, although meant to be fun it adds stress to peoples lives, the extra finances, the extra shopping, planning, cooking, all the extra energy needed to get through this time and fall moving into winter makes people slow down a bit, until your internal daylights savings kicks in sometimes you just have to take it easy and let your body and mind catch back up.

    I think the older we get the more we feel it since our perception of things changes, it's not a negative thing just something to be aware of.

  4. PK, Anon said it first, the onsey of winter does it for me as well.
    Love and warm hugs,

  5. Welcome to my world!

    Now, get out and go back to your own world...I miss you!

    Seriously though, this is normal! We've been there, I've been there. The interest will return. Something will spark it again. It might be a spanking story, someones post, or sometimes you just gotta fake it til you make it.

    Either way, it will be fine!


  6. PK, I know it's no help but we all get like that at times. Winter does it for me, I could lock myself away until Spring.

    Maybe a change of scene would pick you up a little.

    All will be well.


  7. Come on everyone!!!! Perk up!!!!

  8. Anon,
    I'm not thrilled about winter coming that's true. I know when I'm cold I want to curl up in my chair under a blanket and not move. Not a good place for the next 4 to 5 months or so. I'm trying to come up with a plan.

    I guess you'll need a plan too! Maybe we can help each other.

    You can have your world back - I'm not staying. Why don't you come on with me. Maybe we can come up with a plan together.

    It seems I'm getting a change of scene but not exactly what I wanted.

    I'm working on it I promise!

  9. PK,
    Consider your wish granted. I posted some tips for dealing with life and called you out!

  10. Katy,
    Thanks. I'm on my way.

  11. PK: Good luck in getting out of the doldrums.

    Maybe some spark will come along, but don't blame it on old age. You are young and in your prime years.