I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Thursday, December 13, 2012

Thanks for talking to me!

I’ve often said how much I enjoy comments, I love getting them, I love leaving them.  But today I’m looking at them differently.  I have a friend who writes totally in the vanilla world – such a pity, because she’s a really good writer.  She has a vanilla blog, mostly to promote her writing, but sometime just post about her day or other things.  She and some of her writing friends are ‘blog hopping’ this week and she sent me an email today saying “Geeze, I can't get comments with a blowtorch!”

She has cruised around over here occasionally and is dumbfounded at the amount of comments we sometimes get.  I tried to explain the difference to her. 

Here was the rest of our email exchange:

PK: Awww... that's cause you all don't talk about stuff as interesting as we do, LOL! It's different in our world; we're all friends here.  Come on over to the dark side and you'll get plenty of comments.

Friend: Oh joy.  But Lila's writing DBSM (notice she got this wrong, she meant BDSM) and she's not getting any comments either

PK: We’re different. Ours is a group of friends that know each other.  We don't just 'write' about this stuff we live it and talk to one another about it often. Our comments are like standing over the back yard fence talking with your neighbors.  It's our lifestyle, to us its not 'fiction'. We write fiction about it, but our comment base is very different.

Friend: And mine are all strangers I'm trying to talk into buying my book - LOL!

But it did make me think about our comments.  We do care about each other.  We question, comfort, scold, console, vent to and most importantly, support one another.  I don’t think we realize what a wonderful place we’re actually created for ourselves.

I appreciate every single comment I’ve ever gotten.  Thank you all for creating this community and for all ways being so kind and accepting.


  1. Completely agree, we do tend to comment much more. I must say I find the support I get something really special.

  2. This is a very special community.


  3. PK,
    There’s an immense difference between your friends blog and blogs in our Blogland.
    Your friend’s blog is a good read (I regularly read it), but it is a bit like an advertisement paper coming through the front door. It shows a product. I wouldn’t know what to comment besides something like “what a wonderful book”. But I would not have anything to offer in return, so the conversation would immediately die.
    In our Blogland the blogger him/herself is central, not his product. We don’t need to have a product. We have ourselves, that’s enough for back yard fence talking.
    Your friends problem lie with her readers, not having something comparable to offer to her, so she will only get comments from fellow writers.
    Please give my love to your friend and tell her to keep blogging!

  4. Hi PK, I completely agree. This community is very special and full of amazing people who really do care about each other.

    The level of support found here never ceases to amaze me and I treasure my bloggy friends.


  5. PK,
    I have been around quite some time,
    your other commenter's are spot on, as are you.
    Love and warm hugs,

  6. Do you know that this it the first blog I started reading? I was fascinated by your lifestyle, and hooked on FF and your blog steered me in the direction of others. And then I de-lurked to send you a story I wrote.
    I don't think I would have dared, had I not read the comments of other readers. But the openness and warmth from those comments spoke to me, and I realised I was among friends here. I never expected this, I was sceptical of peoples' on-line persona's, but there was no denying the realness here.
    So I sent you a story, you put it up, and I started my own blog.
    And the rest, as they say, is history.

    Hugs, Julia

  7. Anonymous8:29 AM

    Love ya, PK

  8. Anonymous8:40 AM

    This is an amazing community and while I do not comment often, I lurk daily (especially Friday) and would be around when I see a friend in need - that is, if I even have good advices.. I always feel like I'm tongue ties when it comes to offering great advices. O_O

    Anyhow - I feel the same way and I'm so very thankful for comments I've received in the past. They have offered great advice and or comfort.

  9. PK: Yes, this is a wonderful community and I thank you for welcoming me to this community. And, yes, comments are always welcomed.


  10. I've read your friend's blog and I have to say I agree. There really isn't anything to comment about.

    This is a special community though. Very supportive and welcoming to newbies.

    Because I have free time during the day I often check out new blogs and my list has grown tremendously. Sometimes it's hard to keep up but I like to leave a comment if I have visited the site. It may only be a couple of words but I like to let them know they've been visited. I also strive to answer every comment left on my blog because if they've taken the time to visit and comment, they should be recognized.

    I think I just wrote another post.lol

  11. I have to agree, this is a wonderful community. And the comments are commiseration, and support, making us feel less alone as we try to carve something extraordinary from our lives. We're not anonymous readers, it's a family we choose for ourselves.

    (edit buttons would be so lovely - sigh)

  12. I agree with everything you have said! You captured the atmosphere perfectly!
    I actually worry about people if I don't hear from them or see posts for a time.
    People have so much love in their hearts here.

  13. This is a great community. I just started my blog and I love reading all the comments. It makes you feel special. :D

  14. I too value every comment I get.

    Maybe I place too much value on external validation. But there you go.

    I enjoy reading your blog.

    I understand her comment though regarding no comments in the vanilla world. I have another blog, in my real name that chronicles our family activities and I get maybe a comment a month.

  15. Jooiz,
    That support and friendship hooked me the minute I got here.

    I’m beginning to realize just how special it really is.

    I think you have really hit on something here. We often talk about spanking but we are really visiting with each other and we ‘know’ each other well enough to care. It’s not just promotion.

    I think part of it is that so many of us felt alone for so long that now we delight in being with like-minded people. We understand.

    You have been my friend for a long time and I treasure you.

    Thanks you so much – Fantasy Friday has allowed me to make so many new friends. You have said so much here – you may see this again.

    Thanks. You have been on my mind lately, as you will see in my post Sunday.

    I love when people offer advice. You never know when something you say will hit someone right where they live and make a real difference to them – even it you didn’t think it was profound.

    You are a jewel – your life changes are remarkable. I have enjoyed watching these changes unfold.

    You have hit on one of my concerns. I don’t have the time to look around and comment as much as I want to. I’m so pleased when people come to my site and I want to reciprocate, but time seems to fly. I want to write, I want to visit blogs. Like you, I always want to answer my comments. I want to answer my emails and there just isn’t enough time!! Could everyone write Nick and tell him to let me retire!?

    You’ve hit it. “We're not anonymous readers, it's a family we choose for ourselves.” That’s it exactly.

    I used to get really torn up when people just disappeared. I’ve gotten better as I realize blogs do come and go – but once I feel I’ve gotten to know someone, especially if we’ve emailed I still worry.

    I agree, it really makes me feel special too.

    I’ve wondered about the same things, placing too much value on external validation, but I do. When I don’t post for a while I feel almost lonely without comments. For most blogland is the only place we can discuss TTWD so the comments are so important.

  16. I treasure my friends here