I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Sunday, December 02, 2012

Do you have a plan?

I love being a part of this community because when I have the random spanking question pop into my mind I have a place to ask them.  I think most of us have our own little collection of toys, or maybe not so little.  One thing I wonder about is where do you keep them.  A few of us are empty nesters, but I haven’t always been and I know many of you aren’t.  If you have older children you know that there is a chance they will suddenly turn up in your room, going thorough your drawer or even closet in search of – a safety pen, a deck of cards, a pair of socks, their birth certificate, who knows! 

So, do you have a good hiding place?  Where do you keep your toys, are they protected by a lock?  In your night stand? Spread all over? Most of ours are in a locked brief case under our bed, but some of the larger items like the long leather strap, the crop, the long paddle, and the damn cane (I’m not cussing, that’s it’s name), are in Nick suit bag hanging in the closet.  Even with an empty house we are still pretty carefully about putting things away.

Having our kids stumble across a spanking implement or even a sex toy would not be good, but I really have a much greater fear and it lead me to my next question.  What would happen if something suddenly happened to Nick and me?  I don’t mean to be morbid, but it is a possibility. The thought of my children, it the midst of the trauma of a sudden accident, reaching into dad’s suit bag and find implements of ass destruction, with no one to explain things to them.  What the heck are they going to think?

I have made arrangements with my sister and my best friend here, both of whom know all about my lifestyle, to try to get the stuff out before the kids see it.  I can just picture my sister dropping the briefcase out the window, followed by the big paddle, the crop, the strap with the holes, the dogging bat and the damn cane, to my friend under the cover of darkness.  And I imagine the two of them later prying the briefcase open to see exactly want it contains.  LOL! I just hope that they crack open a bottle of wine and toast us if they do.

But lets face it; they may not be able to accomplish this with out being discovered.  What would you do?  I mean really, imagine you kids (or your parents, depending on your age) doing through your spanking implements, your cuffs, ropes, vibrators, butt plugs and dildos.  Quite a thought, huh?

My parents are gone and my kids grown (mostly), but I honestly think I’m going to write a letter and put it in with our toys, a type of explanation to the kids.  I don’t want them traumatized and even perhaps wondering if there was any abuse.  All I would say is that despite how unusual they feel our collection might be, it was collected over the years in fun, in love, and for our mutual enjoyment.  We enjoyed this type of play and it brought us to a place in our live where we were the happiest and the closest we have ever been.

So here you have my questions. Where do you keep your toys?  What will happen to them one day? And do you think I’m crazy to leave a letter with ours?


  1. Hi there, I have not commented on your blog before but reading this just made me. Ifeel exactly like you ,our kids are grown but when we go away I always worry that something will happen and then whatw ould they think. No one I know would ever dream we lived this lifestyle, I do not have anyone I could tell either, maybe I need to write a letter , that is such a good idea. I am hoping that the boys would maybe think that perhaps we are a bit more interesting than they thought. who knows? Here's hoping, love Jan.

  2. I have always collected "implements", mostly home-made. Even a big wooden spoon is home made. I don't take any precautions about discovery by others (16 yr old son lives with us). The same with videos. Let my son, and others, learn what they can from it.

  3. Hi PK, we keep our toys in the night stand and closet. I admit, I haven't really given much though to this as there is only the two of us in the house. Maybe I do need a plan because I would be horrified if anyone found out about our lifestyle.


  4. Hi
    Our toys are kept in a locked blanket chest on the landing.
    If I went first my wife would probably just throw everything out.
    If we both go together the I don't suppose we would care because it was unexpected.
    If either our children or a relative found the toys, then at least they might think we had a good time on this earth.

  5. Hi PK,

    We don't have any problems with implements, since I intend to take them with me in my grave.
    I only use my hands. Or maybe an innocent kitchen utensil, but that cannot be a problem too.

    My biggest problem lies with the blog and my blogging profile.
    I don't want that to stay on the internet forever.
    So I solved that by looking for the most trustworthy person on the planet, and I have asked that person to delete everything when the time comes. I handed over the log in information to the blog to the most trustworthy person on the planet, so what could go wrong? And I sleep a lot better.
    And you know what? That person didn't even asked to get paid!

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  7. PK,
    I think that the younger generation are more savvy then we think, they wouldn't be the least bit surprised.
    Don't forget they grew up with the internet.
    Elderly parents might be shocked.
    Love and warm hugs,

  8. i think it's a good idea.

    i live alone, so it's not really an issue for me at the moment.

    but a letter for your kids is definitely prudent.

    also, mine are in the drawer in the nightstand.

    and the long ones are in the bottom drawer of the dresser.

    and the other longer one is in the wardrobe behind my long dresses.

  9. PK,
    As someone who found her mother's pair of handcuffs (No she isn't dead, but still!) I think you are absolutely not crazy to leave a letter. It was wayyyyyyyyyyyyy to awkward to talk to my mom about what I found, so now I'm left wondering if maybe this thing is genetic? As for our "toys" they are in a bag in the bottom of the closet hidden under the spare sheets. Bucko and I live alone, but I have nosy friends. As to what will happen to them someday, I haven't made it that far yet. This was a fun post. Thanks for posting it.

    TL (2 letter names for the win!)

  10. You know we have limited space and since there are only the two of us the larger ones are kept in the space beween the nightstand and the bed. The smaller ones are kept in a duffle bag in the bedroom. When the grands visit we put them under the mattress, JIC. In general, our bedroom is off limits and when we die, I won't care.

    Wasn't the letter the basis for the book and movie "The Bridges of Madison County". Maybe someday there will be a whole movie about your "fun" things. LOL

  11. Most of ours are locked in a suitcase and a couple under the mattress.


  12. Ours are on the headboard of our bed. I just recently found out that our son has probably seen them. He didn't ask and I didn't offer any info, lol. If we go together and the kids have to clean out the house I doubt they will be too surprised by what they find.

  13. Gosh! I think I will probably just disappear. I am not sure I know anyone yet who would take that upon themselves. hmmmmm

  14. Our longer implements are hanging on the wall of my study, and the small ones are in a plastic storage box under the bed. When we have company I take down the hanging ones and hang necklaces on the pegs. When our grandson starts walking we will have to take more precautions.


  15. I have no children and am currently single and I live alone. My toys are in 2 different boxes under the bed. I haven't thought all that much about what to do if something suddenly happened to me. There's probably not much I could do depending on the circumstances.

    I do have a friend who is quite a bit older than me who has thought all this out though. He has a vanilla friend who has been left with instructions that if something happens to him, go to his place and get rid of such and such boxes, and call a list of certain people to let them know he's passed away.

  16. So far all of our 'stuff' is things you would find around the house anyway- although I don't usually bake a cake in the bedroom :)

    Our only sex toy looks like a warped mouth guard which is in a small satin pouch in my husband's sock draw. OH God..I hope they don't use it as such ! lol

  17. Jan,
    Some how I think the letter will make me feel a little better. I appreciate you stopping by. I hope you comment again or even email if you’d like. I think this lifestyle is really enhanced by having friends to discuss it with.

    I understand your feeling, but as a mother I’m a little more protective of my kids. Maybe more than I need to be, but…

    If someone finds out and I can explain myself I could deal with that. But I know I would have been upset to find such among my parents’ things – well I would have been if I weren’t a spanko myself.

    If my son found our toys he would probably be amused, I think our daughter would be distressed, to say the least. Well that might not be true if she were older.

    I’m glad you are planning to take your implements with you, LOL! That’s defiantly for the best. I hope you found the right person and that they live up to your expectations.

    Although our children are very savvy there is a difference in knowing about many kinks and knowing your parents participated.

    The longer ones can be hard to find a place for. I’m personally looking for a place to hide the damn cane where Nick can’t find it.

    Yes that might have been an awkward conversation, but an interesting one. I didn’t find anything that caused me to wonder when I went through my parents things. I’m not sure how I would have felt.

    You have good hiding places and I think having the bedroom off limits is a good idea. I think if I knew Mollie was older and in a happy marriage I wouldn’t think about it so much.

    Do you think your son would give it any thought?

    For some reason, I think sons would think less of the whole thing as daughters. I think of sons as thinking of the physical and daughter thinking of the emotions. Might not really be that way though.

    It feels good to have a few people I can trust with this.

    That’s true. Remember they grow up quick. There are a few things a toddler might carry into a family gathering that might be awkward to explain.

    That’s just not a bad idea. I know my sister and my friend would do this for me if they could, but you never know if will work out. And if the kids are older I might not mind them knowing at all.

    LOL! Wilma,
    I hope they don’t either!

  18. No kids, but funny thing recently. We went out of town for Thanksgiving, but my parents came here to our house and so I had to go hide all our "toys" deep in my closet! :)

  19. I would write:

    Dear kids,

    As unusual as these "toys" may seem, please understand that they are a sign of our love for each other and how we expressed it.

    Love from Mom and Dad

  20. We don't have much in the way of spanking toys yet - just a long ruler, a candy pink leather paddle specifically for beginners, and a small pretend riding crop with a 'feathery end' on one end and a leather thong on the other. But our 'play toys' are kept in my wardrobe, quite openly. I told my daughter that her dad and I still love each other very much and that they are our private things - but that if anything ever happens to us to put them in a bin liner and place it in the nearest dustbin. She is 33, married and has a very modern outlook. She simply cringed, said 'Okay mum. Too much information.' So at least I can have peace of mind. Heaven knows what our son would say.

    I'm just glad others have the same worries about these things as I do! It's an excellent topic to raise as a post.

  21. Hey Mom, H wants a pair of handcuffs as a gift for her bridal shower; where would be a good place to buy a pair? This was the question asked of me by my oldest daughter when a good friend of her's got married.
    We've been pretty open talking to our children. They are all adults. They know there has been a difference in the relationship between Dave and I and, even though they jokingly call us weirdos, they understand; so I don't worry that if something happens to us what they will find in the dresser drawer. Some would accuse us of being too open with our children; the truth is we don't share the details, but if they have questions or need someone to talk to, they come to us.

  22. In truth we don't have much in the way of implements and toys. If you want to drop a hint to my husband for Christmas I would greatly appreciate it.
    However, the other day, my seven year old daughter who notices everything came to me after seeing something out of place in our room (We will call her flower)

    Flower: "Mommy,why is there a pink spatula in your bedroom?

    Me: "I don't know. Why do you think there is a spatula in my bedroom?"

    Flower (with a teasing twinkle in her eyes): "Mommy, did you make a cake in your bedroom?"

    Me(laughing): "Yes"

    Flower(rolling her eyes -yes she's already learned that skill): "Mommy! Did you really, because if you did, I want to make a cake and eat it in my room, too"

    Me: "No, I did not make a cake."

    After a pause of distraction...

    Flower: "Mommy why is their a spatula in your bedroom?"

    Me (Thinking are we really still having this conversation): "That is for me to know and for you...not to know."

    Flower: "I know, are you going to hit me with it?" she said laughing and wiggling her bum (clearly "hit" referring to "spank" - we just finished reading Little House on the Prairie and the conversation of naughty children getting switches in their stockings came up)

    Me: "Yes"

    Flower (feigning shock): "Hahhh!Mommy!" (we have never spanked our children except the occasional love tap)

    Me: "No," I said laughing "I am just kidding, I am not going to hit you with it."

    Flower: "Really, what is it for?

    Me(Thinking the conversation was over): smiling I said, "Daddy uses it to hit me"

    Flower (laughing clearly thinking this is all a joke): "Na Ah, I know, you use it to hit Daddy."

    Me: "Let's go play." (oh my goodness!)

    The great thing is I told her the truth and she will never know.
    Sorry for the long story but I had to share as it just happened yesterday...perhaps we need to find a place...or remember to put away things when we are done with them. Oops! Don't know yet what I will do when the time comes that I finish this lifetime - hopefully I will have some more toys to have to worry about by then. :-) Hugs, Terpsichore

  23. SNP,
    LOL! I think I would rather explain all this to my kids than I would have to my folks.

    Yep, I think I can keep it pretty simple. Or I could just leave the link to my blog.

    It’s really great that you are that open with your daughter. You don’t have to discuss it daily, but she won’t be shocked to run across something. I hope to get to this point with Mollie some day.

    I think it sounds like you have a great relationship with your daughter. Even our kids noticed a difference when we began TTWD although they were young and had no idea what had caused it. They do know we are very happy with each other and in the end, that’s all that matters.

    I hope you have tons of toys to worry about then! I love the story and yes you were completely honest. But be careful Flower may learn to use the same tactic.

    At 16 I used to tell my mom my friends and I were going to the mall and then some place else to get something to eat. What we didn’t tell her was that the name of the bar we were sneaking into was ‘Someplace Else’!

  24. PK, "Someplace else" that is too funny and so very clever on their part. :-) I can only hope that Flower lives as boring a childhood as me and all she will do is go to dance class and an occasional movie, and do her homework...but somehow, I doubt that...when she becomes a teenager I will be asking everyone advice since I haven't a first clue. :-) Hugs, Terps