I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Notes from Tubby

Just a note to let folks know the Florida Dom has posted another Chapter in his Training Lisa series. Click on it to read.

The first day at work went very well – I stayed calm and focused and didn't attack anyone. So one work day down 180 student days to go.

You might have noticed yesterday that I didn’t include a diet update. I’m being 100% honest when I say I actually forgot it. I thought about it at about 3 this morning. I guess that there is a good reason for forgetting the diet update. It seems I’ve forgotten the diet.

I haven’t been more discouraged about weight since I started seriously changing my lifestyle to try to get healthier about 3 years ago. I lost slowly but steadily for 2 years. Then I spent over a year maintaining and finally began losing again. But I’ve lost my way somehow. I was at my lowest weight on April 24. I have gained 10 pounds since then and I just feel lost.

When I first asked Nick to help me with the weight I was so excited about everything – I had never been spanked, I had never been so open and close to Nick. The future was full of unknowns. How would spanking evolve in our relationship, would it only be erotic? Would there be discipline? Would he hold me to a lifestyle that would yield results?

This isn’t a complaint against Nick. Because right now I don’t know what would work. We don’t do DD. And I don’t think the type of spanking Nick is comfortable giving would really do it. I mean maybe if we had the privacy to deal with issues on weigh in day. But that rarely happens. There might be an implement or two that could make an impression on my mind as well as my butt. But I’m not sure whether I want to go there.

I just want to eat and eat and I don’t want to go to the gym. Even when I was going some these last few weeks didn’t seem to do me any good. Ugggggggg! I hate this!

This is just not a good time for all this. Nick is busy with his new job and for another 10 days or so I will really be swamped until school settles down to a regular routine. How do we get past this and how can I get back on track, when I really just don’t care about it?


  1. PK: Thanks for the mention of my latest Lisa chapter. I hope your readers will check it out and give me some feedback on if they like the direction the series is going.

    And good luck on losing those pesky 10 pounds. I have the same problem and solve it with expandable pants. LOL. It's a pain in the neck but have you thought about writing down everything you eat and see where you can cut back.


  2. I completely understand. It is tough to keep it up. I know I'm at about 40 lbs gained. Just go back to doing little things and being happy and proud about any little step. Especially things like I grabbed only 1/2 a doughnut at the faculty lounge. Or I went to the gym, maybe not the vigorous exercise I did before but I still made it! Just go for small things and you'll find eventually you'll get back on track.



  3. Those plateau times, whether physical or mental can be so discouraging, but I like Carye's ideas about rewarding little steps. It can change the way you look at things, especially when you're under such stress already! Good Luck, Meow

  4. PK, I wish that I could help.
    I think the most important thing is to change your eating habits.
    Just do little things.
    Oh, and don't call yourself names. :)
    Love and warm hugs,

  5. Glad you made it through the first day! Really, summer is coming to a close and we've just started having it here. Its been 90 plus freaking degrees for days and humid! We are so not used to it that we're just melting. Sadly, its not pounds!

    PK, I think everyone that has been on long term lifestyle changes has these kinds of ups and downs. You'll get back on the bus! You've come this far and you are just having a little itty bitty break.

    Debbie :)

  6. First of all...stop calling yourself tubby! That's no way to think of yourself! I've seen recent pictures and you look great!


    Take a deep breath and re-evaluate. Figure out what worked and what didn't work...and go from there.

    Plus...give yourself a break. Life is hectic right now. You've got a lot of things on your mind.

    You'll get back to it. It might take time and you might want to give up...but eventually you will get back on track!


  7. I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated - I know how it can be. Just think about how good you feel about yourself when you see results and start taking those small steps again!



  8. I'm with Grace. I don't like you calling yourself Tubby either. You deserve a spanking for that. Be nice to yourself. Its a stressful time. routine will come back and things will fall back in place.HUGS

  9. FD,
    I appreciate you helping so much with FF and I'm glad you are continuing the story.

    I have gone the expandable pants routine before and I don't want to try it again. Writing what I eat would probably help - but I know I won't do it.

    I know you understand. It's just frustrating.

    I know I need to pay attention to what I do right and not what I do wrong but I wish I could get my head back in the right place.

    I know Paul. I'm just mad a myself. I know all the things to do I just don't know how to make myself do them.

    Summer was late coming but it got here just in time for fall!

    I'm just scared because I haven't had this kind of black slide since I started. I feel another post coming on just to be able to explain it to myself.

    I know Grace. I'm not depressed or anything but I am really annoyed at myself! I guess I'll figure it out somehow.

    LOL! I wish other thought so! I don't feel stressed - busy but I am really trying to stay calm.

  10. I agree with Paul and Grace, stop calling yourself names and stop being so dam hard on yourself

    You've had a busy summer so take one day at a time PK you'll do it, I know you will.


  11. Anonymous11:26 AM

    PK: Don't be so down on yourself! The fact that your blogging about it shows that you care. Whenever someone who has been successful with weight loss is asked what helped they always answer the same way. It wasn't one thing but a succession of little things that over time lead to success. So as others have already posted start with baby steps and you'll get there!

  12. Thanks for the encouragement Ronnie. I know the main thing is not to give up. I know, I am just trying to remember.

    You're right. But I just wanted to be there by now. I want to wave my magic wand and be at the perfect weight and then maintain.

  13. Anonymous10:08 AM

    Our school year kicks off next week. I've spent 2 days this week taking the kids to each of their school and standing in the lines to submit forms and pay student fees. I am not exactly sure why, but I'm looking forward to them returning. I suppose that I just miss having life on a more scheduled manner.

    I can relate to your diet issues. I feel like I've gone off the deep-end. Perhaps I'm just not in the right frame of mind. I'm hoping that once I am healed from my next surgery I can pull myself together and exercise and journal my eating habits.