I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Song for LJ

I am really looking forward to my boy coming home for Christmas. I think I do well when he is gone but I sure do miss him!! I have been trying to decide on a good ring tone for him when he calls on my cell. I was listening to the CD he made for me last mother’s day with many of his favorite songs. One of them caught my attention. The song is So Long Sweet Summer by Dashboard Confessional. The lyrics in part are…

So long sweet summer
I stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays
So long sweet summer
I fell into you
Now you're gracefully falling away

Hey thanks
Thanks for that summer
It's cold where you're going
I hope that your heart's always warm
I gave you the best
Gave you the best that I have

So, so long sweet summer
I stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays
So long sweet summer
I fell into you
Now you're gracefully falling away

For LJ this song was a reminder of the first summer he met Colin. Neither of them thought the friendship would out last the run of the summer play where they met.

But as I listened to the song more and more in the car it took on a special meaning for me. I told LJ I had chosen it for his ring tone he ask me why I chose it. I told him I would tell him later and here is what I told him.

Hey Baby, I told you I would tell you what the song “So long Sweet Summer” means to me. Then I realized if I tried to tell you I would cry – even thought it is not sad, just emotional. So I’m writing it.

You see I am changing into a new season of life. You are completing your spring – your childhood, school, choosing a career. I am beginning the fall of my life. That is not sad at all. Fall is a beautiful time – refreshing, a time to look around at the hard work of the summer and enjoy the bounty of your harvest.

You and Mollie are my harvest and I could not be happier with the results of my ‘summer’s work’. But that is what got me thinking of the song and the summer of my life, becoming an adult, beginning a career, a marriage and the most important raising children.

So ‘Thanks, thanks for that summer’ is what I what to say to you. My ‘summer’ that I got to watch your grow from birth to an adult (and it did seem like only months) was wonderful.

Several other lines from the song hit home too. “I gave you the best, gave you the best that I had”. I did try, that was what I wanted for you.

“I fell in to you now you’re gracefully falling away.” How true that seems. It’s hard on a mom, but knowing the wonderful man you have become makes it easier to watch you go.

And lastly “It’s cold where you’re going I hope that your hearts always warm”. New York City wouldn’t be my choice but I know it’s yours and I do hope your hearts always warm.

So thank you for sharing with me, your life, your dreams, your hopes and your songs. I hope that you will always do that no matter where you live.

Love you baby


  1. You brought a smile to me with this. Our children grow up way to quickly. Your such a great mom.

    *hugs and grins*

  2. PK, straight from the heart, this is lovely.
    I'm sure that both LJ and Mollie appreciate you for what you are.
    The Autumn of your days, perhaps, who's to say.
    I suspect that my Autumn is passing, still, I will enjoy the winter.
    Love and warm hugs,

  3. Wow,that's powerful.I think that you have said what most parents feel.Thanks for posting this .It's quite obvious the love you have for your family...hugs...

  4. Ohmy PK! What a wonderful message to your son! I've got a smile and tears both, I can so relate to how you're feeling. Nothing can bring out the emotions, quite like the kiddos!


  5. Anonymous6:06 PM

    PK, that is just beautiful. I had tears (the good bittersweet mommy tears) in my eyes as I read it. Lovely! Lilly

  6. Sweetie, when ever you write about your children you make me long to be a mother. I can tell you love them so.


  7. Thanks David, Quickly isn't the word for it!

    I haven't seen a season that didn't have some wonderful things to offer!

    You know it! Nick and the kids are everything to me.

    Sometimes just thinking of them brings on powerful emotions.

    Just wait until your little one gets older it's even worse.

    What a wonderful mother you would have made. But you and Tom are so special together I can't imagine it any better.

  8. Now this just made me cry. But they were good tears. Believe me, I know how you feel!

    Thanks for sharing!