I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, July 02, 2007

Say What?

Eva still believes that I talk like a southern. She is not only talking about my supposed accent but the occasionally phrase I use. I once told her on the phone that if I did something my boss would “Be on me like a duck on a June bug”. For you non-southern that means he would fuss quite a bit.

Phrases have come up a bit lately because of a teacher’s aid that retired from my school this year. She has always had colorful speech but this year in anticipation of her retirement roast we began writing down some that we remembered and she was consistently giving us new ones.

These were mostly use to describe some administrators or fellow teachers or students and please understand she absolute love all the children and these were all said in fun!

* His brain is so small you could put it in a gnat’s ass and it would rattle like a BB in a matchbox.

* I’m going to hurt you so bad we will need a Willie Nelson Benefit Concert for you to pay your hospital bill.

* Isn’t he just a floatation device?

* Don’t even breathe funny or I’ll send you home faster than a cat can climb a tree.

*If that boy’s brain was gunpowder he wouldn’t have enough to blow his nose.

Some of my favorites were her descriptions of the effect of those menopausal hot flashes!

*I’m sweating like a fat woman writing a love letter.

* It’s hotter than a nanny goat in a pepper patch.

*It’s so hot in here hell can’t be but half a mile away.

*I’m sweating so bad it looks like the cat’s been sucking on my hair.

* I’m sweating like a whore in church on Sunday.

I do like living it the south! I think we are so colorful!!


  1. Absolutely! I love the colorful expressions!!! They are great!! I loved the floatation device!!! Too funny!! Sounds like your Sunday with A&E was awesome! Just catching up! My husband just decided I was an addict!! He didn't even see the quiz out there!


  2. PK, I love regional accents and sayings. When I was young you could tell where people came from by the way they dressed and their accent. Nowadays everybody wears the same styles and speaks Mid-Atlantic.
    Why don't you do a voice blog, I'd love to hear you, and thanks for the chuckles.
    I hope that you boss never jumps on you like "a duck on a June bug".
    Warm hugs,

  3. Anonymous8:01 AM

    This post made me smile like a pig in a mud bath! I love it, too. My little part of the south has almost as many "yankees" as southerners. The research facilities also attract people from many different countries, so we are rich in accents and dialects. I love sitting in one of the Starbucks cafe's on campus, just soaking it all in.

    I love Paul's idea about a voice blog!

    Have a good day.. Suzy

  4. Anonymous9:38 AM

    PK~ These are just too funny. I s'pose you southerners take credit for "colder than a witch's brass..." oh, never mind!!

    Loved these!!

    Big hugs~
    your twin

  5. ROFLMAO... and yes, the southerners DO have a way of expressing themselves unlike anywhere else in the world.

    Love you,

  6. Nothing like a southern belle! My whole family has a strong southern accent. My Aunt's favorite saying was "land's above"
    My grandmother referred to the sofa as the settee..yesterday was yesdiddy. We all say ya'll and i reckon!. Gotta love the south!

  7. These were cute as a button, PK, thanks for the laugh!


  8. Carye,
    I have know a few guy who were floatation devices! Why to husbands seem to think that our addiction are some kind of problem?

    If there is a voice blog out here I think we are all dying to hear your voice!

    I love to hear my Spanish speaking students speaking with a southern accent!

    Trust me southerns will take credit for anything good.

    Aren't we a wonder!

    My aunt always said "She is some kinda purty" we never knew what kind!

    And pretty as a speckled pup!

  9. I’m sweating so bad it looks like the cat’s been sucking on my hair.

    OMG, that one was priceless! Any of them would make great sayings on a line of greeting cards.

    Thanks for posting these.

    ciao bella~

  10. CeeCi,
    You are right! They do sound like greeting cards!