I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Is it worth it?

I guess it’s pretty obvious that I spent a lot to time on the computer.  I enjoy reading many blogs, I comment when I can, I enjoy emailing my friends, I love writing fiction, I check facebook… Mollie keeps trying to get me hooked on pinterest.  I keep telling her I don’t need anything that encourages me stay on more than I do now.
Nick teases me about my time on line, but he doesn’t fuss.  He knows how much I enjoy it.  He knows I’ve made so many friends over the years that mean a great deal to me. But I’ve never felt that the blog was any more that me just farbling with friends. A place to express my views and opinions, it is always fun for me, but it’s a little spanko/sex blog – could it have any real value?  Probably not.
But I got a couple of emails recently that got me thinking about the blog.  A reader had come across something I’d posted that they thought I might want to take down.  After reviewing it, I realized that they were right and I changed it and I emailed them that I appreciated them for giving me a heads up.  This reader then sent me another email.  That second email meant as much to me as any email I’ve ever received.  They said that they had been reading for years, although they hadn’t commented. Without going into detail I’ll just say that they let me know that they thought my little spanking blog, my rambling on to friends had been important and possibly life changing for them in a way I never would have anticipated.  Can you imagine how good that made me feel?
I know some people think blogging is a waste of time. It’s not.  It’s a place for connections, validation, and friendships.  It’s a place to feel normal and accepted, a place where we can throw out new ideas and kinks and know that others will understand.
I hope to have an email friendship with this reader.  I don’t want to be pushy, they were quiet for a long time and I don’t want to intrude. But I hope it will happen.  Either way I thank them for their email and I hope we will have the chance to talk more.


  1. Yes but I do not know how you actually decide it is "worth it" in any quantitative sense.

    As you say great for validation.

    Also a great way to express feelings and simply to writing things down helps to clarify thinking

    You have a great blog. Keep it up

  2. This whole community is more important than we will ever know. It is much bigger than the active group of talented bloggers. Almost every new blogger told us about the joys of finding this community. I don’t doubt that the majority of lurkers feels this same joy. Why is that. Well, I think it is because people here are happy with what they are and what they do. Nobody here is judged and sentenced just because they like something that is a little bit different from the accepted standards. Here we learn that our thoughts and fantasies are not something to be ashamed of but instead, when freed, they can contribute to our happiness. And happy people are healthy people. Healthy in mind and body.
    I could go on for hours about ttwd and happiness but I’m afraid it turns into blogging for myself. OMG, should have known its contagious talking to PK.

  3. PK,
    there would be a great hole in the blogosphere if you weren't here, and, needless to say, my life.
    Love and warm hugs,

  4. I am happy that your heard from this reader and were able to form a deep connection with them. Always glad to read what you have to say. Hugs

  5. Anonymous9:31 AM

    I finally just felt comfortable reaching out after approx 5 years of reading! I chose you to communicate with first. That has to tell you something about your influence and worth as a blogger. I know I am not the only person. I have read how many people you have influenced or mentored.You have the ability to connect with many different types of people.

  6. Oh, PK you are the heart. You have reached out to so many of us. FF was my first excursion into this blogging world and with your encouragement I have tried my hand at writing and have a blog of my own. Never doubt your influence on lurkers, would be bloggers and bloggers.
    You are loved.

  7. I'm so very grateful for all the bloggers here. I'm glad I've just discovered your blog... Thank you for all you do!

  8. Patty7:08 PM

    You have opened a world of wonder for me,and I expect, many others.Those of us who thought we were alone and
    partners new to this lifestyle are surely grateful for your blogs.

  9. Gosh Twin, I remember feeling downright giddy back in 2006 when you and I both landed here about the same time. And even when there seems to be nothing left here for me I find comfort in knowing there are those like yourself who are carrying on. Keep on keepin' on... there is always someone who is about to enter "that" word into google for the very first time.

  10. You made a difference in my life, I will be forever grateful for that :)

  11. Submanhub,
    Thank you. I guess I’ve decided it’s worth it to me, and that’s what counts. And you are 100% right on helping to clarify things in my mind.

    Although we all know we have lurkers and that they are very welcomed you sometime feel only the handful that comment are really reading. It’s nice to realize that even those you don’t hear from are members of our community.

    Contagious huh? LOL, you may be right. So maybe you should think of blogging…

    You’ve been with me the longest and you know you are very special in so very many ways.

    Thanks. I love having my readers contact me. I’m always amazed by how much we all have in common.

    It’s always surprising, and very flattering, to hear from someone who has been reading so long. I’m just glad you finally came out – both as a friend and as an excellent writer.

    Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all could really be in the same neighborhood and do our talking with a cup of coffee leaning over a back yard fence? That’s the way I like to think of us all.

    Thanks, I’m glad you stopped by. I hope you’ll visit often.

    I’m glad I could help make you feel comfortable here so that you began talking to us some. I envy you in that you got to experience the real thing. Yours is another blog I’d love to read someday.

    I think ‘giddy’ is a good way to describe us both then. When I called the blog New Beginnings I wasn’t kidding! It was great. And I know you’re right there are so many people at different stages of their journey.

    I’m happy if I helped – blogging is one place in this world where we can truly pay it forward. People like Bonnie, my twin Eva, Grace and CeeCi made the difference in my life. I have no doubt that you are making a difference to the people reading your site now.

  12. I don't write very much on here either but I do always read your posts and your stories! :) I appreciate them and would miss them greatly if they weren't here!! :D

  13. It's really nice to get that occasional comment or message letting you know that you aren't just talking to yourself out here. But even without that, I like being able to write out my thoughts sometimes to get them out of my head and sort them out.

  14. PK: It had to make you feel so good to get that email. It has to be so rewarding for you. Your blog has meant so much to so many people in our community -- including me.

    It was three years ago today that I started my blog because you encouraged me to do it and it also changed my life. I can't thank you enough.


  15. This community means a lot to me. You've helped a lot of people PK and were so very glad your here.

    Love and hugs,

  16. Thank you JJ,
    I’m glad you read here. And I do enjoy hearing from readers.

    I agree. I’ve always kept a journal, well since I was 15. Geeze, that’s 40 years now. I like this form. When people comment or ask things it’s even more helpful in understanding yourself.

    Happy Anniversary! There are so many wonderful people out here that we would never have met in our ordinary lives. I know that there are bad thinks out here, but I believe we stumbled across something very good.

    I guess like any community you enjoy getting to know everyone and enjoy all the new people moving in. But I sure love all my friends that have been around a long time!

  17. That's great, and i'm sure it was such a nice thing to hear. I agree, blogging is such a great way to connect and realize how many people out there have this thing in common. :)