I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Sunday, June 17, 2012

Important question

I promise, I made sure Nick had a wonderful Father's day weekend! More about that later...

Finally I have the time to ask you a question that is very important to me. Most all of you know about my duel personalities, PK/Cassie. And I've told you I hope to be able to work on the books some this summer. I've shared several Cassie stories with some vanilla friends and they all have the same suggestion – I'm just not sure it's right for us (me and Cassie). When vanillas read what they think will be an erotic story they gloss over the 'spanking stuff' looking for sex. I think most of us out here in out community find the 'spanking stuff' to be sexy while they don't see it. So that has been their number one suggestion – more sex.

I began thinking of who I'm writing for and, of course, that would be for us – spankos. But I would also like to think that the books would have some crossover appeal to non-spankos. I see Cassie as a wonderful ambassador for our lifestyle. I know how pure vanillas see us. They picture our men as abusive bullies and we women as timid, fearful doormats. I see Cassie and Tom as a couple who lives our lifestyle happily and successfully. I see Tom as a man who adores his wife and protects her at every turn. I see Cassie as a strong minded, fun loving, woman with a zest for life that is so strong she might well be reckless without he ever vigilante husband, whom she loves madly, watching over her.

But on to the real question. Should there be more sex in the Cassie stories? It's no secret that they have an active and very fulfilling sex life, yet we hear no details. There are several reasons for this. Cassie tells the stories herself, it wouldn't be from a third person perspective. As a lady, I'm not sure she would give the intimate details of her sex life to her readers (or even me). Another thought is that she is a lady of 'mature years' (she'd hurt me for that) not some hot twenty year old. Do people want to read about mature sex? As for me I don't know if I could write sex that well, even if she was willing to tell me. I don't usually put a ton of sexual details in my stories about strangers and Cassie is no stranger to me.

So PLEASE, I really want your opinions. I know Cassie and I will have to make the final decision, but I want to know from those of you that have been reading Cassie's Space for a while and maybe from those of you that have just discovered her. Shoot, if you have vanilla friends that you feel comfortable sharing her writings with, ask them.

Paul, I am especially eager for your opinion. You have probably known Cassie the longest out here and since you're family I know you'll be honest. Bless your heart, over six year now and I don't believe you've missed commenting on one of her posts, or mine, in all that time (unless you've been in the hospital). You're a dear friend and you mean a lot to both of us.

I'm waiting to hear – what do you really think? Would the stories be better with more sexual details or are innuendos and illusions enough to keep the readers interest?  Be honest and tell me what you think!


  1. PK, Cassie is a lady, and ladies don't divulge that kind of information. I think you have the balance just right; don't change a thing. Descriptions of sex would be quite out of character.


  2. I'm with Hermione... :)

  3. Cassie is a lady, but even ladies engage in "girl" talk....especially over a few margueritas! I am a lady of a "certain" age and my sex life is the best it has ever been....might give some others hope that the best is yet to come! Your instincts with Cassie have been perfect! good luck! hugs abby

  4. PK: Go with your gut. If you aren't comfortable having Cassie talk more about her sex life, don't. If you are, give more details. And you have to decide if you want more crossover appeal. More sex will help you do that. And who are the vanilla friends you've told about Cassie and do they ask you about the spanking parts and if you are into that?


  5. PK,
    I believe you have the balance just right.
    My wife and I do not discuss our sex life, not even with closest family.
    I don't believe there is such a thing as a pure vanilla.
    Surely intelligent people must realise that there is a considerable sexual content in TTWD.
    I really hate when people consider us abusive and bullies.
    Love and warm hugs

  6. All good answers here. I think Florida Dom states well. It is a "gut" thing. You might feel differently about a particual scene or entry and so maybe sometime you will decide to write more. But, as a whole I think you've set the right tone and it would be a little out of character.
    We're PK & Cassie fans and we are cheering you both on!

  7. Anonymous9:03 AM

    PK, I think you need to keep Cassie just the way she is. Cassie's readers all get that they have fantastic sex! We read between the lines. I have never been disappointed.

  8. What they said... Cassie is Cassie. We all love her fun loving, ornery side. Sex doesn't make Cassie sexy.

  9. I'm with Hermione. I love Cassie as she is but you have to go with what you feel is right.


  10. I agree you have to do what you feel is right. I don't think sex has to be explicit or is always needed. I think implied always is better because then the reader can use their own imagination.

    I'm with you I have trouble with the descriptive sex when writing, even in my own blog.

    Happy Father's Day Nick

  11. Anonymous2:27 PM


    I agree with the other commenters. We all know Tom and Cassie have an awesome sex life. What is more endearing and fun to read is the bond and connection they share, the sex is implied, and sometimes mentioned, and that is enough for me. We love Cassie and Ladies as Hermione said don't discuss what goes on behind closed doors. Besides if she did, Tom would have a fit and wear her out!!! LOL


  12. PK, I love Cassie just the way she is. If she feels the need to give you the details, then write them, if she doesn't then don't.

    Tom and Cassie are an inspiring couple, their love and devotion to each other is very clear. I think it is a given that they have great sex :)

  13. I think you have a perfect balance. I really enjoy the stories just they way they are.

    Actually leaves more to the imagination. ;)

  14. Hermione, Rogue,
    Thanks, that's kinda the way I feel. She is so real to me and I don't think she'd go into that kinda details.

    I know you're right. I mean – isn't that what we're all really doing out here. Sharing the stories of how our sex lives have improved since we tried TTWD. But...would Cassie? Amazing how real she seems to me.

    I think my mind want to think more popular universally if there was more sex. But my gut thinks Cassie just wouldn't go into detail, and over all Cassie will have the final word.

    I let my partner at work read some Cassie stories and also the one of the secretaries. I'll post about it sometime. I only let people read when I know I can trust them with my secret. I shared it with 7 vanilla friends and family – I haven't been wrong yet.

    I hate that too. Our men out here are the best in the world, caring, loving, thoughtful. I think the balance is right too.

    That's the thing – it would be out of character. I guess that's the bottom line. Now went she goes back and tells something from her past, maybe. We'll see.

    Thank for taking the time to say this. I really wanted to know if the way I see Cassie and Tom is the way it is coming across to others. Seems like it is.

    Glad you think so. I needed to hear it.

    Thanks, I think I'll just let her keep telling her stories the way she wants to.

    Writing sex is soooo hard to do. I like it left to the imagination too, I have a great imagination!

    Boy did you hit the nail on the head. Tom would indeed go nuts! I too love their love story. Sex is just one part of it.

    Well you know that they are one of my favorite couples. I still often want to be Casie when I grow up.

    I'm really glad you like them. Thanks for taking the time to stop by I hope you'll be back.

  15. ddchristi8:42 AM

    PK, just an opinion from someone just starting her journey into TTWD, I think Cassie is great just as she is...don't think there is a need to be explicit because the underlying tones work just fine...but also agree with some of the others...if the opportunity presents itself and Cassie feels the need to go into deeper detail, then she needs to...especially if it helps to demonstrate the depths of her feelings at that time...

  16. It looks pretty unanimous here, and I'm not saying a thing to change that. I've always been pretty circumspect about the details of sex on my own blog, and I love that Cassie is the same way yet still manages to convey just how hot their marriage is. As far as "mature" sex, that aspect of it is not a problem for me at all, but truthfully I tend to gloss over the SEX scenes in books, no matter the age. I'm much more interested in the dynamic between people rather than the mechanics!

  17. Anonymous1:49 PM

    I think less is more. I read Cassie for the way she is. I don't read her because I want to read sex. I read her because i find she holds true to the woman she is and I like that. Don't add the sex or smut to please others. Keep Cassie and Tom the way they are.

  18. Christi,
    Thank you for coming by and I appreciate what you’ve said. All of Cassie is written by what she says in my head. Often a story goes in a completely different direction than I thought it would. I think I’m going to leave it up to her.

    So good to see you here. Thanks, that is what Cassie is all about – it’s a love story which happened to include spanking and sexual referenced. But the love story is the thing.

    Bless your heart. Don’t worry they are who they are and they won’t change.

  19. visiting Cassie next...have a lot of catching up to do!!! :-)