I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Another wonderful evening

My evening that was so very good last week was also a first for us. We tried something a little different not terribly unusual but rarely talked about on the blogs I read. I didn’t even know if I would share or not. It goes back to the feeling that, unlike when I began, I now care about how I am perceived out here. I’m 51 now and I should be beyond caring if others understand or approve of what I like or how my husband and I enjoy ourselves. So I decided to share. If I make you uncomfortable come back later it won’t be a topic I will discuss often.

We had our privacy last week and loved it. Our week included more talking that usual about spanking and sex. We are too dang old to whisper and make ourselves heard and Mollie has the ears of a bat so with her gone we could discuss things, joke about things, share things we came across on the computer with freedom and ease. One thing we discussed was female ejaculation (squirting). We have no doubt it is a real occurrences since many of my friends here experience it but we wondered if all women did, could, you know just curious. I emailed my experts and got good advice and I no longer mind trying whether we get that particular result or not.

I am realizing that in the past I just haven’t really wanted to take the time to try. In the past, not really understanding how good sex could be, I mostly just wanted to hurry through it. Nick has always wanted to take the time to get me completely aroused but I was usually the one to stop him. In my mind I was saying ‘It could take all night to get me to that point, I may never get there – forget about me, save/satisfy yourself!’ So I shut down. I didn’t want him to try. I barely wanted intercourse, I didn’t want him to touch my breast, absolutely no anal play, I didn’t even want to kiss. In my head I had decided I was not going to achieve orgasm and I wasn’t going to let him waste his time trying.

Slowly over the past 2 years and certainly over the last week he has convinced me he does not mind, he is enjoying it and he feels I am worth the effort. I am even beginning to believe I am worth the effort. That last night I wrote about when he insisted I pay attention to my body and talk to him really helped me begin to open up.

You are still wondering what we did that was so unusual aren’t you? I thought I would bury it so that only my real friends would read this far. Surely everyone else is bored by now. Anyway we discussed some of the thing we might want to try sometime and Nick mentioned he would like to give me an enema. I had thought about it before and as many thing as I have asked him to try I figured sure, I’m game.

I thought it would be strange but he had just the right combination of bossiness and gentleness. And something about the whole thing relaxed me more than nearly anything we have done. It somehow touched a submissive core in me that made me willing to really let down my guard completely for the first time.

Later nearly all our toys came out. He was wonderful and I had the best night ever. I felt there was nothing to hide and we were just as relaxed and happy as we have ever been. I don’t know everything we did but I know we were eventually so tangled in bed sheets and toys and chords and belts and straps that we didn’t know which way was up. I do remember when we were finally through that I sat up and said “That was so much FUN!” It was and Nick is and we are having a ball!


  1. I KNEW it! You two NEVER come up for air!

    Wow, this is so sexy. I love it when I read about two people madly in love and willing to talk and try new things.

    You, my friend, are much braver than I. I still can't be that open with my lover.

    I've finally decided! When I grow up....I want to be PK!


  2. PK

    Thank you for your post today - I have been trying something new with my Shutter lately and well, although sometimes a bit uncomfortable at the end it was very much fun and I was glad we did it. I thought though that there was no one else who could relate and then today read your post. I hope you had fun and will continue to try new things.

    I agree with grace, when I grow up I want to be PK too. =)

    ~ the littlest angel

  3. Well, PK, that was a very interesting read. Good for you guys. There is no reason in the world that we should not try all the things that interest us. Its like eating a new food.

    You rock, sister! You are an inspiration.


    Debbie :)

  4. My Queen is kinking!

    *hugs and grins*

  5. You two are just evolving more everyday. The way you decribe it is awesome..now you have David asking questions..!!

  6. PK-When you write about your "before" sex life, I feel like I am reading about myself. What a huge difference since Hubs and I adopted traditional marriage and spanking into our lifestyle. I now know what good sex and REALLY being in love is like! Our lives are similar, I am 50, Hubs 55. Married 21 yrs. Two children, 12 and 18. As you can see, I also had my kids in my 30's. Damn the wasted years! Would love to talk to you via E-mail.

  7. PK, I'm so happy for you and proud of you, you two are growing every day, you and Nick are doing so well, one of these days you may even manage to shock us. Chuckle. PT is Physical Training, do you call it gym these days.
    Love and warm hugs,

  8. PK,
    You two are growing closer all the time and I am so happy for you. Trust me this is not terrible unusual. These treatments ARE very relaxing and also can be good for your health and you know how Tom feels about my health! LOL!

    The best thing seem to be the feeling you two can share desires and feelings and realize that you two understand each other. That is all that really matters!

    Love ya,

  9. *g*

    I can't stop thinking that the comments to your post read like a big group hug.

    The smile I'm wearing right now goes from ear to ear. We all have so much to talk about when we meet in just 10 days!

    You're awesome!


  10. "Slowly over the past 2 years and certainly over the last week he has convinced me he does not mind, he is enjoying it and he feels I am worth the effort. I am even beginning to believe I am worth the effort. That last night I wrote about when he insisted I pay attention to my body and talk to him really helped me begin to open up."

    Well, it's about time! Believe that husband of yours. He loves you.

    Good deal.

    Many, many, many hugs!

  11. Just imagine what you two will come up with when you really have an empty nest! *g*


  12. Anonymous6:56 PM


    It's awesome that you two are finding this place of openness and oneness.


  13. Dang now look at what you went and did! Your recent post are totally responsible for my recent decline.

    Yep I've taken up smoking again!


  14. Grace,
    You and the others I met when I first came here get the credit for beginning all of this. Reading and talking to all of you gave me the courage to talk to Nick.

    Anything that promotes trust and communication is a wonderful thing.

    New things is right! Been married 25 years and we feel like we are on our honeymoon - except our honeymoon was never this good!!

    You sure know how to make a girl feel good!

    Evolving - now that is a good word for it.

    It does sound like we have a lot in common. I would love to talk to you any time


    Email any time and we can talk.

    Great mentors like you make it easier to open up to the one you love. Everything I ever learn about you and Mel helps me in some way.

    You are a fountain of understanding and knowledge! I will be emailing.

    I was a little hesitant to post this but you are right, as usually my friends here are the most supportive people in the world.

    Thank you Marcus, He is wonderful. I wish I had started believing him long ago.

    Hey Girl!!! I have really missed you. Email sometime, okay. And you are right when both kids are really gone we could hurt ourselves!

    Being open with Nick has always been a problem but we are doing better.

    What in the world are you talking about? Tell me you are kidding about the smoking. If you are not I am going to tell Michael!

  15. It is so wonderful about how intimate you have grown together through your love. So much of what you said about how you used to feel that you were not "worth the effort" speaks to me and is so great that you are working through this and realizing how much you are indeed worth and that your loving husband is happy to make that effort too...ok babbling on...thanks for sharing! :-) hugs, Terpsichore