I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, April 08, 2008


I hate it when I don’t post every few days. I feel blah but sometimes there is nothing I want to blog about. Is there anything you would like to know? That might give me some ideas. I have found out that going to the gym can a hassle, yesterday it caused me to have a flat tire. I told Nick no good could come from going! Guess I’ve proven my point.

I am annoyed with LJ’s school. How am I supposed to feel about my son doing a part in a play where he can’t get through a scene without dropping the f-bomb several times? I know, I know it’s a play and he is an actor. But I am his mother. Why do colleges feel that cursing is a mandatory in every performance? And is it necessary for me to sit through it with his father and his little sister? I want to see everything he does but sometimes this really bugs me.

I sent him a text today. I told him to text me some time or email or call or use smoke signals. I really am okay with him being away but I miss him. I miss knowing what is going on in his life. He and I talked a lot when he was in high school. I don’t mean that Mollie doesn’t talk – she talks! But it is more like a monolog she doesn’t require another party in the conversation.

But mostly I am down about news from school. We have a wonderful male teacher on our hall. He also coaches the base ball team and the girl’s soft ball team. He gives the best hugs and calls me young lady. He once won an unofficial contest at school. The question posed in fun was “If you were stranded on a deserted island which male on campus would you most like to have with you?” He won hands down because of his kindness and gentlemanly ways. He teaches in the basement and it is hard to keep up with him as he bounds up and down during the day. We laughed at him a month ago when he locked the field gate with his keys on the wrong side and had to shinny up the flag pole to get back to them. And did I mention that he is 81. Yep, how many active coaches do you know that are 81? But today we receive the awful news that he has pancreatic cancer, advanced. The faculty is shell shocked, his students and players will be devastated. We have shared with the children that he has cancer but not just how serious it is. Most kids don’t realize that real people die. My kids are only 12 and it seems most of their grandparents are just in their 60’s. It’s hard to comfort the kid when I feel so bad myself.

But I am grateful for one very bit of good news today though. My friend, the one I told you about who is looking for the daughter she gave up for adoption, had a cancer scare also. She has been redoing mammograms, ultrasounds and finally a biopsy while telling no one but her husband, her sister and me. The word came in this afternoon that all is well. That was a piece of news I really needed to hear today.


  1. I'd be feeling down too. How very sad. I am glad to hear about your friend though! I wish I was closer to give you a big hug.


  2. I know exactly what you mean by teenage girls' monologues. How many have I sat through? LOL
    I'm so sorry about your teacher colleague. That's very sad!


  3. I feel for you, PK. I just found out that one of my favorite uncles has pancreatic cancer. We are hoping they detected it in it's early stages, which is the only way you can ever beat it. It really sucks knowing someone you care about may have an incurable disease.


  4. hang in there..I hope today will look at least little better....

  5. I wish I could give you a big hug in real life but I hope this cyber hug helps.

    * a big bear hug and grins*

  6. PK, what an amazing teacher, I'll bet he has influenced many people in his lifetime.
    I hope that he pulls through, the news about your friend is good.
    Shame about all the sexual swearing there is today, it spoils it for so many.
    It's good to hear about Mollie.
    Love and warm hugs,

  7. I am so sorry to hear about your colleague. He sounds like an incredible person. Sending hugs

  8. It's seems all I hear about these days is cancer! Funny I would read this now because literally 5 minutes ago my friend called and was very frustrated because she had just left her pap and they said she needed to have a colonoscopy to make sure she doesn't have cancer cuz they saw some blood.

    Why must the first thing out of doctors mouths be cancer? Most likely she doesn't have cancer, most likely she's going through menopause, but STILL! Must they say the worst thing possible?

    Sorry for the rant! I'm just so sick of everyone having cancer and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it!

    I'm so sorry your friend is sick. He sounds like a wonderful man. It will be hard for the kids and it will be hard for YOU! I just hate that we as humans have to deal with this stuff!

    I guess I should have e-mailed this, but once I got started I couldn't stop.

    You know I love you! I will keep your friend in my prayers!

    Marcus, sorry for your Uncle, I will pray for him too!


  9. Oh, I'm so glad you had some GOOD news. We could all use that. And thank goodness I'm not the only one who can have a conversation with me and yet I don't have to say a word!


  10. Carye,
    Thanks. I consider every comment and email a hug. I always have.

    I know I am going to miss something important some day but you can only listen so long and your ears go numb.

    I am so sorry about your uncle. It suddenly seem that pancreatic cancer is everywhere.

    Thanks Mthc, I'm doing okay.

    David you give good cyber hugs.

    He is amazing. He is one of the youngest WWII vets. He lied about his age and enlisted at 15.

    Thanks for the hug.

    Yes sometimes we feel surrounded it seems to come in waves. I just sat here tonight and watched 'Last Lecture' it was amazing. If anyone didn't see it google it. Just amazing.

  11. I am happy for your friend and very sad to hear about the co worker. What a wonder he sounds like.

    I miss Michael too. I had not heard from him in some time and planned to call Monday if no word. Well he finally called Monday, and has called every day since!

    Anyway I don't really know too much about teenage girl monologues, but I bet Will can relate :)!!!

    Love you