I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, October 02, 2006

It's Tuesday!

It’s Tuesday again! I love Tuesdays! With a nod to CeeCi, here goes!

Orgasm – multiple is the only way to go!

Obey – It’s what I want to be asked to do. It is what I want to be expected to do. If we ever renew our wedding vows it is what I will promise to do.

Observe – I love to sit and watch sometimes. Not drawn into a discussion or a situation but to just be a observer.

Occasion – I love special occasions. I like people to get together and have a good time.

Ocean – The beauty, the power, the feel. Who doesn’t love sitting on the beach watching the waves crash?

Ogre – I loved Shrek!

Old-fashion – Isn’t that what we dream about, an old-fashion marriage. At least there are many aspects that I think I would love.

Opinion -- Of course I have an opinion on everything. But I love to hear the opinions of others too.

And last but not least --

‘Ode to a Repair Man’ or ‘How to help you HOH replace a dishwasher while the pipes under the sink fall apart as he touches them.’

Have you ever tried to help install or replace a dishwasher, or some other appliance? I have some tips:

Rule one – Shut up! He does not want you help verbally; he does not want your opinion, your suggestions or anything else from you that requires speech!

Do stay close! This is not the time to sit at the computer and laugh your ass off at someone’s post, relax in front of the tube or chat on the phone to a friend. This is especially true if the phone conversation includes how long it is taking to get the appliance installed (see rule one)

Other helpful hints would include learning the names of basic tools. If he asks for a wrench, he does not want the needle nose pliers. Do not ask “Well can’t you just use that?” (see rule one)

Realize that 99% of his questions are rhetorical and do not require an answer. Questions like “Where did I put the damn screw?” “Why is this piece of shit falling apart?” and “Who needs a fucking dishwasher in the first place?” should not be answered! (see rule one)

Try to keep the flash light shinning in the direction he is looking. If you stare longing back toward the computer the light will veer away from the correct spot. If he grabs it out of you hand, don’t say “Your head got in the way!”(see rule one)

Lastly but not least all finger gestures must be done out of sight of the HOH and comments like ‘Bite me’ and ‘Kiss my ass’ are perfectly acceptable but they must be said in you head, not muttered aloud! (see rule one)

Oh, did I tell you guy that Nick got the dishwasher back in last night?


  1. Anonymous3:04 AM

    lol... show us your "O-Face"!! You came up with some great O words.

    ~Todd & Suzy

  2. Anonymous5:35 AM

    I am laughing my ass off. This HAS to be your all time funniest!! I'm glad your dishwasher is back in but even more glad for the humor it caused. wondered where you were last night. LOL


  3. LOL Oh, that is SO good! Congrats on the new appliance! D :}

  4. I am also glad your dishwasher is fixed. I can't believe I did not think of old fashioned. I loved your story of Nick and the dishwasher. It had me rolling. But it is a great tale of Nick being male! Oh how I love men just being men.


  5. Loved the list Elis. but loved the Ode to the Repairman more.
    My Mel was the perfect wife/sub except when she was helping me fix something. I wish we had that Ode then, ask for the Phillips Screwdriver, who is Phillip.
    I never actually spanked her at these events, but she got very close to, of course later I saw the funny side and couldn't help chuckling.
    Maybe her good girl was a little harder that night, but she never complained.
    Warm hugs,


    Love the rules! Your list was great as usual!

    Of course you thought of all kinds of things that I didn't think of.


  7. Oh, Elis... OH, Elis,... OH, ELIS!!!!!!!

    Good god woman! Orgasms, oceans and ogres all in one place? Not to mention a hilariously laugh-out-loud diatribe???? You are too much!!!

    Damn, how did I forget oceans... ARRGGGH!!! At least you thought of it cause the day would simply not be complete without that one. I MUST have been half asleep when I wrote my list!

    And yes, you are right... mutliple orgasms are the ONLY way to go!!!!!!

    Big, big hugs,

  8. Elis!
    This was wonderful!! What excellent advice. Staying quiet is not one of my strong suits so Tom rarely asks me to help with this type project!


  9. T & S,
    Love it when you guys stop by!

    You find humor in my misfortune? What a friend!

    It's still the old one but it works now!

    Yep in some ways they are all alike!

    We are always trying to help!

    A handyman's assistant, I ain't!

    I have my moments! I wonder what will quit working around here next? Hope its funny!

    I wish I could get Nick to quit asking me! Good to see you on comments again.


  10. Elis,
    great "o" list ! You DID have multiple orgasms there, didn't you !?! hee-hee.

    And thanks for the repairman helpful hints ! So true !

    Anne Elizabeth

  11. Anonymous10:44 PM

    Wow! I've missed out on so many great posts this week! I must have had your site in my cache, because I kept coming back and only finding your post from LAST WEDNESDAY!! Sheesh! I'm glad I came back to check and refresh my browser!

    Great list but your Ode to a repair man was a hoot!! Oh how I've been there and done that! I listed obey as well, but forgot observe and opinion (not that I'm ever lacking in opinions!).

    I love Tuesday evenings reading the lists. I'll be back tomorrow night to get caught up on your previous posts! I hope the play went well (I see your last post was from a proud mother, but I haven't read it all yet).

    *hugs* Suzy

  12. Looks like SuZQ-t and I had the same ghost in our machines. I've only been seeing your post from Saturday. I have an excuse, new computer, new search engine, so I've learned something tonight, it's called 'refresh the page before bailing out thinking there is nothing new to read.'

    I loved your list, especially the multiple orgasms. So far, no one has failed to put that word on their O list, not even clever Eva with her pictoral celebration of all things O!

    Wow, I have another rule to add to your list...Don't be more mechanically inclined than your HOH and take over the job when he's unable to complete it or understand how to do it. They really don't appreciate that one at all. Unfortunately, I've done that way too many times.

    Hooray for the new dishwasher!!

    **big Hugs**
    ♥ CeeCi

  13. Anonymous5:31 PM

    Okay, so you wrote this like two years ago, and I just found it. OMG... 'Ode to the Repairman' is a total riot! Had me laughing out loud for sure! Lilly