I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, October 18, 2006

How did you get here?

Hello everyone – and I mean everyone. I have a question for all my friends and also any lurkers that drop by. My question is how in the world did you get here? I am assuming for those of you with your own blogs you didn’t wake up one morning and say “Well I have a free afternoon; I think I’ll start writing a spanko sex blog!” I want to know what drew you to the internet in the first place. What were you looking for? What did you find? How long did you lurk? What pushed you to start your own blog?

I started looking for spanking stories and pictures several years ago. Found some interesting stories, they were fine but nothing earth shattering. I dropped it for several years and then last spring I just thought I would look again. That’s when I found My Bottom Smarts and Bonnie. I had no idea what it was. As far as I knew blogging was something teenagers did on the computer. I read everything on Bonnie’s site and it was several day before I even saw the little place at the bottom of each post that said “comments”. So I clicked on it and was surprised again to realize that this was a back and forth type of communication with real people. I soon branched out to other sites. I was dying to leave a comment. Everyone was talking about a topic that I had thought about for years!! I had to get in on it!

I could see the comment box. I could see that there was a place to click so that I could comment anonymously. I knew what it said but I couldn’t help believe that if I left a comment, even anonymously, my name, address, age, weight, sexual preferences, and mother’s maiden name would show up on every computer monitor in the free world along with my picture with the word ‘pervert’ written across it. Well maybe not every monitor, but at least my boss, my colleagues, my preacher, my husband and my in-laws (and they don’t even have a computer). Can you say paranoid? But finally I could stand it no longer. I left a comment and waited. Two amazing things happened: the sex police did not show up and Bonnie posted a response to my comment. That was it, I was hooked.

I branched out to Nothing Random, Cassie’s Space, A Spanking Good Time and A Day in the Life. It wasn’t long until I leaped in with both feet and got a blog of my own. I love it, love it. I thought I was just going to get to read and write about spankings. I had no idea I would find such wonderful friends. There are people here in all stages of this life style. Bonnie, Cassie and Sar all their married life, Eva, Tiggr and Grace on and off for several years, I only came out 6 months ago, Lily more recent than that, Theresa and Suzq beginning new relationships, and Maggie – what are we going to do about Maggie! She hasn’t told her husband yet. She deserves a spanking for dragging her feet so!! I’ve met CeeCi and Paul two of the smartest people I know. I add more sites often, Todd and Suzy, Anne Elizabeth and others I will think of as soon as I post.

When I went looking for spanking stories and pictures I never expected to find friends much less Eva, my twin sister (except for the age difference and the fact that we have different parents)! So friends how did you get here? Let me know here or on your blog some time. For those of you lurking you are most welcomed any time. When you feel comfortable please leave a comment. Its fun, it’s private, and you will find friends here.


  1. Anonymous1:22 AM

    How did we get here... well...

    Todd has been into spanking for 20ish years. When he first got a computer in 1990, he got AOL. Probably the second day, he did a profile search for "spanking"... and sure enough, they were out there! From there it was newsgroups and message boards. Making friends, learning how many spankos were actually out there. As search engines became easier to use, spanking based websites were found. Then it was blogs... and Bonnie was the first hit.

    Suzy was a bit of a late bloomer, but did a lot of catching up on the internet. Her main source was AOL message boards, a good source of spanking info 7-8 years ago. She also used Usenet and read different internet spanking sites.

    We were married... and happily spanking... by the time the whole blog thing came about. So, we found Bonnie together. And, of course from there... there were lots of other blogs. We were fascinated. Learned a great deal, and *loved* the personal touch.

    After reading blogs for some time, we decided we'd like to give it a try. No earth shattering reason behind the decision. It was a collection of things. We like talking about spanking, and that's not easy to do with friends and neighbors. We both love to write... have written erotica for years. We felt this would be a great learning experience, a way to give a little back to the spanking community we've taken so much from... and a way to make some spanko friends.

    ~Todd & Suzy

  2. After Eva's post about my blog, I wrote a whole post about this very subject. Turns out, I got a spanking that day, and that post was a whole lot more interesting. Now that you've mentioned it, I think I'll post my answer in my own blog!

    Thanks for reminding me, and I love reading everyone's story, so great idea!!!


    P.S. I'm so glad you decided to start blogging!!! I've got to have my daily fix of Elis!

  3. Anonymous5:31 AM

    Hmmmm... this would be longer than just a comment. Be watching my blog!!

  4. I originally came to blogging as a challenge to mysel fto actually keep some kind of diary past January 2nd!

    Three years later, my vanilla blog is about to have it's 10,000th visitor.

    The interest in DD blogs came from following links from SpankingBlog, through which I discovered Darkside, Everything Goes and a good few others. Specifically, I'm sure I found ths place either from tiggrs or Bonnie's place.

    Interestingly, I'm fully expecting my DD blog to hit 10,000 visitors well within six months. Just goes to show that pics of spanked wenches and descriptions of dealing with my naughty brat are a lot more interesting to people than my semi-political rantings. Go figure, huh?

  5. The most beautimous post. In the fall of 1999, I typed in spanking and just read stories. I did not know how to navigate.

    February 2000, I was still doing this and found pics and the personals. A grocery store full of men, I thought. I just had to pick the one I wanted. HA!

    6 years of Internet dating finally led me to Will, the man of my dreams, yet I can't quite reach him. But we are working on it.

    I found Patty's blog last summer and read randomly for a year. The she did a post on lurking and I realized I was one. I commented a bit, but never knew what to say. Can you imagine me not knowing what to say?!?!?

    Well I felt a lost when she closed. The circumstances surrounding her closing, and her story was just a heart wrencher for me.

    I started my on blog a dozen times, not knowing what to say, then deleted it time and time again.

    Finally I was on my way. One comment fueled my fire. Then I met a group of very wonderful women (and one very special and I believe still sexy man) they pulled me in, and taught me how, and here I am.

    Now back at work, I am learning to speed blog or trying. I cannot give up the friendship, the learing,kindred spiriti and the laughs I receive here.

    Like you once said "We are sisters now." So what does that make Paul....our "Daddy Dom?"

    Or Paul does "Mentor" suit you better?

    I love you all. Thanks Elis for giving me the opportunity to start my day with mascara running down my face.


  6. Elis? Do you pinky swear this isn't going to show up on MrC's or my mother's computer if I do a blog in response to yours? WEG

  7. Oh, PK, where to start? I, too, ran across many blogs by accident, through random searching, and Dante led me around a bit by the nose at first, guiding me and prodding me lovingly toward Patty and Bonnie... I branched out from there but got my courage to start my own blog from Patty and Bonnie mutually and from the love and support even then from our beloved Paul, whatever we may choose to call him, "friend" goes before all else in my mind.

    I'm still very new to this all, too, as far as the blog goes... not so far ahead of you, Elis or Eva or Fitz and Cassie and others... but I've read everywhere and explored and strolled and researched and thought and commented... true, my first tentative comment was every bit as fearful as you described Elis, but my response was exactly the same...

    I try to remember that with my own responses now, how I hung on every word and how I really thought the person on the ownership end of the blog was all-knowing. Not at all true for me as I tend to wear my mistakes and foibles on my sleeve, often for precisely that reason... but it helps to remember how much that simple act of replying to a comment can mean to someone else, can mean not just to their day but maybe even the rest of their life.

    I love you, kiddo, and I love all of my friends here... this is certainly NOT what I thought I would find... it is SO very much better!!

    I love you,

  8. Dear Elis, my story isn't so different, except I was driven by loneliness.
    I'll briefly recap; in the Autumn of '94 my Mel died, very suddenly, we'd had a D D D/s marriage since '61, I think most of you know what we meant to each other.
    As you can imagine I was in a very dark place for a long time. I thought that I could put all that behind me, there was no way I could re-marry, but of course I couldn't put it al behind me. About 2000 I was getting hungry, I started searching, I found spanking stories galore, I read for a couple of years, I found a couple of stories by Patty and I was hooked, I found my way to her blog, CSW, read it all, it was quite some time before I got the courage to actually comment, but her work is so good that in the end I just had to. My goodness she actually replied. I won't go into the events that forced her blog to close, save that we were fast friends by that time, Patty was the first person that I talked to about Mel. From Patty I found CeeCi, she put me onto Bonnie and the rest is history.
    I am so thankful that I found you all, I am no longer so lonely, I have made many friends, and Mel once again lives in my heart.
    There dear Elis, that's my story, not so different, is it.
    Warm hugs,

  9. Elis - I first started searching for spanking on the computer because George had given me a few slaps during sex and I had enjoyed it and wanted more but at the same time I felt as if I was perverted or something because surely this couldn't be normal. At first all I found was pictures and stories but by just playing around with links form site to site I found Domestic Discipline Diary which led me to Bonnie and the rest readind wise is as they history. Ifound all you lot. As I read more and more of your blogs I became interested in DD as a lifestyle and started my blog as an outlet to my feelings. to sort out my head while I built up the courage to tell George what I wanted. I am so pleased I decided to blog as it was many of you lovely people that finally convinced me tell him what I wanted and now I keep blogging as its a wonderful way to connect with old friends and meet new ones.

    Sorry to have gone on so long, great question.

    Take care,



  10. I had been thinking of starting a blog for a long time, though not about anything sex-related, but didn’t know if I’d be willing to keep it going. Tigger started hers and I kept thinking about possibly doing one to play off hers and finally waded in slowly. I am enjoying it so far but it does become too much at times so I don’t know how long I will last. It’s fun but certainly not important to me so I’ll keep it up until it gets to be too much.

  11. Elis, it was either Tiggr I think or Theresa or Bonnie recommending you... All I know is that I found you in the first two weeks I began blogging -- and am glad I did !

    Happy Thursday !

    Anne Elizabeth

    p.s. And I will always try to comment when you have a new post, because I love getting comments myself in return !

  12. Elis,
    I will put this on my blog soon. I want to be able to give full credit and blame!


  13. Todd and Suzy,
    I think its easier when the husband is into this first. I know the feeling of really wanting to talk about spanking and everything involved. This is the only place!!

    I can't wait to read about how you got here. I am just so glad I found you!

    I'll be looking forward to it!

    Master F.
    I have to say that I think a spanking/sex blog has got to be more interesting that the best political rant.

    No I can't inagine you not knowing what to say because I love everything you say now! I think when we all started it was certainly the comments that hooked us. I know it did me. Sorry about the mascara, I didn't make it throuth the day dry eyed either.

    I promise, not by accident and not by my doing, but maybe you should show him!!!!!!!!!

    It is hard to believe that you were so new to this when I started. I did think you knew everything there was to know. Mistakes or not I always love to read everything you post!! I so agree the friendships are so amazing!

    How you found blogs may not be too different from the rest of us but your story was still the one that brought me to tears. How strange it feels to miss someone I have never met or spoken with. But I miss Mel. I am so glad that she lives again in your stories and comments.

    I also remember coming here and feeling for the first time that my love of spanking was completely normal.

    You have a better attitude toward blogging than I have. I spend too much time here because I absolutely love it. I suppose it is like a new toy and eventually my all consuming desire to be here will fade some, but not so far.

    Anne E,
    I just wanted a place to read great stories and talk. All the friendships were just a bonus.

    I'll be watching for it!

    Thanks everyone for sharing!


  14. Elis,

    What a long, strange trip it's been!

    Randy and I have been spankos for almost as long as we've been a couple (and that's a very long time). We were vaguely aware that other people enjoyed this kink, but with no way to really know, we figured it had to be fairly unusual.

    Randy is a computer geek. He was connected to CompuServe in the eighties and to the Internet a few of years later. He encouraged me to get involved and check things out. Even in those very early days, I was delighted to see spankos pop up all over the place.

    Much of what I found was not to my liking, but I stuck with it and in time discovered some places that I enjoyed. Usenet groups like A.S.S. and later S.S.S. were excellent. So were some of the forums and groups that sprung up. There were people there who thought as I did. Suddenly, this strange thing we did seemed almost mainstream.

    I had been writing spanking accounts and stories for years. In fact, I had accumulated quite a few that I thought were pretty good. Some had been posted on various forums, but many had not. I wanted to share them with the world, but needed a proper outlet.

    All that changed when I began reading blogs. I loved Patty, Tracy, Kasey, SpankBoss, Bethie, and many more. Collectively, they inspired me to give this a try. At first, it was a little disheartening. I was posting my best material and no one noticed. In time though, readers did find my blog.

    Along this path, I've encountered many amazing people. That's been the best part of the adventure for me. I love meeting and talking with other spankos about this activity we enjoy and a thousand other topics. It's also been fun to introduce my friends to each other. We've made some wonderful friendships. For that, I am most grateful.

    Thanks for an excellent question!

  15. Thanks Bonnie. I was hoping to hear from you. It was nice for you and Tiggr that your husbands knew enought to point you at some good stuff early on. A year ago I would have said this is a strange way to communicate but it seems so natural now. The topic is great but the people are fantastic!


  16. Hmm Compuserve was the culprit that got me & EH together too. EH was nicknamed spankingservices and so I chased him for a chat. He then chased me to meet and I avoided it for 7 months ( didn't want to meet anyone off the Internet!) Finally we met and six and a bit years later we are married and still spanking x x x x




  17. Minx,
    Now that's the kinda story I like to hear!!

    Thanks for stopping by!