I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Gotta Rant!

An email from a friend got me all stirred up about this topic so pardon me while I rant but I am just so mad. I want to know where the rest of the world gets off thinking that what we enjoy and the lifestyle we chose makes us some type of sicko that should not be accepted in polite society!

Many people enjoy massages; often they pay big bucks to have a stranger give them a massage. They talk about how good it felt and how relax they felt afterwards. If their friends, family and colleagues have any thoughts on the matter most would think, “Yeah, a massage would be great”. I hate massages! Often people I barely know come up behind me and start rubbing my shoulders. It hurts likes hell! I want to scream at them. If I say anything about not wanting them digging their digits into the muscles near my neck I get a strange look and something like “You don’t LIKE that? There must be something wrong with you! You are way too tense”!

I see people at the gym lifting weights so heavy they look as though they are going to tear a muscle. Runners and cyclist are taught to run or ride through the pain for the benefits on the other side. Huge men are paid bazillion dollars to slam into one another to get a ball moved down a field. All of these people are engaging in activities, by their own choice, that both hurt like hell and are activities that some other would never ever want to do. Yet they are considered normal. People will let them talk about what they enjoy doing and it’s even acceptable to encourage other to at least give it a try.

I enjoy being spanked. I love the sting, I love the afterglow, I love the achy soreness the next day, I love the feeling of release, I love the emotional closeness I feel with my husband, I love everything about it!! Spanking is good for my physical, mental and emotional well being. I am not even encouraging others to try it. I am just saying it is a wonderful thing in my life!

So how come I would be the one to possible lose my job if my superiors were to discover that I blog about it. At best I could expect to be ridiculed, thought of as unnatural or perhaps perverted. I’TS NOT FAIR! I am just as normal as those who like massages, lift weight, run or play football. But no, our desire is strictly taboo. I want to stand up and yell “I’m damn mad and I’m not going to take it anymore” instead I have to sit here and type “I’m damn mad and there is not a damn, friggin thing I can do about it!”

And if you don’t mind if I rant on, another topic we are discussing on our blog is about our sex life. This would also make our friends and family gasp in horror and heap embarrassment on us. WHY? If I was reading blogs to improve my cardiovascular system that would be fine, if my boss or family found out they would be proud of me. I could ask all the question I wanted to and gathering all the information I could. But if I want to learn about my sexuality, if I want to learn more about how this part of my body how it works and ways to improve or enhanced the quality of an orgasm – oh my, heaven forbid!! And speaking of heaven, God created our bodies and included in the female special added features strictly for pleasure having nothing to do with reproduction. So evidently He intended for us to enjoy this part of our lives. There is nothing wrong with researching how our bodies are supposed to work.

We are talking about sex and spankings on our blogs. I am not standing on the street corner yelling these things at folks that do not want to hear it. If you do not want to hear my opinions on these topics you wouldn’t have read this far. I know that none of us are embarrassed in the least by what we read or write yet we are all afraid of others finding out, because others won’t understand. I want my blog to remain a secret. Not only would I have to live with the embarrassment if it were discovered, my family would also. But if anyone I know does find my blog and tries to make me feel guilty or threats to tell others I am going to print this post off, shove it in their face and tell them to kiss my ass!

My friends, I thank you for allowing me a place for my rant. I knew I would be safe here.


  1. Anonymous9:46 PM

    Alrighty then.

    Preach it, sister. I know exactly what you are saying. We ARE normal. And that's that.


  2. Oh my Elis! You don't even know how much this has been going through my head. All sorts of sexual persuasions can "come out of the closet" but why is our one simple pleasure so distasteful to the world? And for most all involved it is nothing but an improvement on their marriage, their personal life. No harm to ourselves, or anyone else.

    But then again, I'm still so afraid of what MrC will think. LOL He'd probably take it better if I told him I preferred women.

    Please -- rant away!


  3. Okay, just deleted the first comment, I'll start from a different angle, I was getting rather political.

    Elis, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I despise hiding this portion of my sexuality and my identity. I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd ever be closeted because of something that brings me pleasure and joy and is an integral part of who I am. Yet, here I am in a closet.

    I resent the judgments of others. There is nothing I can do about it, so I do the only thing that keeps others from chastising or ridiculing me...I keep it a secret.

    I think people get all hot and bothered about this topic because they cannot grasp the concept that this is a consensual act and not an act of abuse.

    The email you received...was it one of those infernal chain things or was it the opininion of the person who sent it to you? In either case, I'd be very careful what I said or how I acted around this individual.

    **Big Hugs**
    ♥ CeeCi

  4. Eva,
    We all need to go Oprah and explain the benefits!

    I'm glad you agree! Maybe if you pretented to MrC that you had decided to date women he might spank your butt!

    Nothing like that. The email was from a friend that was worried in general not about something that had happened.

  5. Elis,

    There is something you can do, and you just did it!


  6. Anonymous5:38 AM

    It is 5:30 in the morning. I'm up to get ready for work. Adam has another half hour before I get him up for work and I am soooooo very glad I haven't had coffee yet because I would have spewed it all over the screen looking at the fairy replacement. OMG!!! Try not laughing outloud at THAT !!! ROFL


  7. CeeCi,
    ROFLMAO!! How sad is it to admit that this probably is more my style! Nick seem to get great enjoyment from it too! You know we are all having way too much fun with this!


  8. Anonymous7:30 AM

    Hear, hear!! I'm with you on this one, Elis! I'm generally not one to worry at all about what others think about me. I've been scrutinized and stared at most of my adult life because of my wheelchair, and that doesn't bother me a bit. But like you, I'm more worried about the embarrassment my family (and my partner) would feel if we were to be "outed".

    If you ask me... those folks are just jealous. Rant on sister!

    LOL at the new graphic. I could use one of those contraptions!

    *hugs* Suzy

  9. Ok back to the massages...there "is" something wrong with us. We don't like strange women massaging us! It's our cross to bare.

    Rant to us all you want! The group of people who think we are weird, probably don't enjoy sex.

    I don't really mind being in the closet. As long as someone special is in the closet with me.


  10. Hi.

    I just wanted to say that i think your new look is great.

    Also its your blog and if you want to have a rant carry on. I have to say that I am in complete agreement with you on this one - we are normal human beings who just happen to like being spanked, we don't hurt anyone else so why should it bother other people.

    Take care,



  11. Anonymous10:54 AM

    Woohoo Elis!! Good for you hun! Not sure why people are so threatened by the open talk of sexuality and spankings. Hmm...could it be that they might also have had some of these same thoughts and feelings? How shocking!!

    We love you posts, whatever they may be. Thanks for sharing.


  12. You go girl... oh, and tell CeeCi that the new kitty is perfect!!!! No, make that purrfect... but the POOR, POOR little pussy, so sweet and innocent and that awful robotic arm thingie is enough to give us fanciful felines absolute nightmares!

    But as to your rant... I agree 100%. Thank heavens we have each other to rant with. Just imagine how much better off the world would be if we ever rose up collectively in revolt?

    Us armed with paddles and belts and tawses and crops and hairbrushes... taking on the world. You know what? WE would collectively kick its' sorry little ass, too! Spank it good, we would! And everyone would be all the happier for it!

    Love you, babe,

  13. Elis, that just might work! hah!

    lol Tiggr, "us armed with paddles and belts and tawses ... taking on the world"
    That makes me picture one of those "million man marches" but instead "million spanko marches"! Could you just imagine the look on the faces around DC if we converged on their mall? Hilarious!
    A million spanko march graphic would be really nice if anyone could do that .. ??

  14. Yay for Elis, why am I the only man who comments. It really pisses me off when I hear the crap that is talked about our lifestyle. Like the girls only do it because it pleases the men, or they don't really like it they are pretending, not to mention abuse and bullying. Elis you are so right, I'd love to see a million spanko's marching, I'd join in like shot.
    Elis now go and ask Nick to give you a good girl, you've earned it.
    Warm hugs,

  15. Anonymous5:55 PM

    Did I hear someone say the Pissed Kitty is back?

  16. Bonnie,
    You're right and it felt good!

    I can't imagine having enough time in my life to worry what other people are doing.

    The way you describe being in the closet it doesn't sound so bad.

    Thanks and I wish more people felt the way you do.

    I know there are many more of us than even we imagine.

    Tig and Maggie,
    When we get that march started I want for all of us here to be holding hands. I get to hold Paul's.

    At least we have you! I will be sure to give Nick your message.

    Anne Elizabeth,
    Thanks it feels so good to know there is support out here.

    Who have you been listening to?


  17. Anonymous9:35 PM

    Great post! We've made the same point about massage... specifically the aggressive deep tissue kind. Good point about lifting weights, never even thought of it like that... but you are right!

    We've encountered people that dismissed us as sick and in need of therapy. What can you do with them? With people at least open-minded enough to listen, we send them to blogs like yours! We've had success, too. Not that they got into spanking, but they did grasp that it's not actually about beating the living shit out of your mate... that there are very 'normal' appeals to spanking.

    ~Todd & Suzy

  18. Todd and Suzy,
    It's not like we are going out recruting folks. But if someone really wants to know at least there is information out here for them.


  19. Sorry I'm jumping in late, but it was just one of THOSE days, Don't even ask...

    anyway, Your right, it's not fair. This is where I start feeling like I'm suppose to conform to society. But who is society anyway? We are!!!

    Anytime, anyone does something out of the norm, it's cause for alarm. Allowing someone to spank you causes people to think you've lost your marbles. Since I happen to know you had NO marbles to lose, it's fine, we all think your normal. (just joking, get that PK off your face right NOW!)

    Ok, I've rambled enough...like I said, it's been one of THOSE days!

    Thanks for ranting!

  20. Grace,
    You jump in anytime! The reason you have 'those' day is because you are still going for that good wife and mother act. I gave that up a long time ago and just sit at the computer and let everyone fend for themselves! LOL


  21. Anonymous4:44 AM

    Welcome to our world! Rant away and then take a look at some resources out there to try and fight this kind of prejudice - Tuppy Owens & the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom might be a good place to start, hun.

    Love the new look & apologies for my absence.


  22. This comment has been removed by the author.

  23. Oh boy, I'm so late to the party! Please rant on, PK!
    I wish there was a date in the comment timestamp, but anyway, let me tell you, I'm so glad that it's 2023 now. So many things had happened since then. Look at Netflix alone, with the shows like Bonding or How to build a sex room. What was out there, back in the day, Dr Ruth? Although, one of her advices I'm still grateful for, have sex before dinner. That's my rant of the day. Not a rant really. I think the world is a better place now, at least in the sense of understanding and open-mindedness towards the lifestyle.