Just another meme

Just a little something to keep you mildly entertained for a minute or so. 

1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? Coffee

2.Why did you pick your avatar? It looked like Cassie’s ivory brush to me. 

3.Can you play Guitar Hero? I can barely play a radio.

4.Name someone who made you laugh today? Nick

5.How late did you stay up last night and why? About mid-night because that’s my norm.

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? Nope.

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? Not that I remember.

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you on facebook? Nick. If that doesn’t count then maybe a mile or two.

9. Do you believe ex's can be friends? Sure, I’m friends with a couple of my ex’s. Old boyfriends, not husbands.

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper? I like it

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? It’s been a long time.

12. What do you like to daydream about? The current book I’m writing.

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? A selfie of me and LJ.

14. Was yesterday better than today? About the same.

15. Can you live a day without TV? Sure, but I do like to have it on in the evening. 

16. Are you upset about anything? Well, Mollie’s traveling, Collin will be soon, LJ is heading across the country. Mollie has no working furnace and it’s supposed to be 19 degrees this weekend. Nick’s just had surgery on his eyes. Blogger hates me and doesn’t want me commenting… so no, I’m okay. Things are pretty normal.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? Mine have been.

18. Are you a bad influence? With a little effort, I can be.

19. Night out or night in? Usually, a night in is way better.

20. What items could you not go without during the day? I really like my phone close by.

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? Since we haven’t been allowed in since early 2020 I really don’t remember.

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? Landed

23. How do you feel about your life right now? I like it, not perfect but pretty darn good.

24. Do you hate anyone? Not for more than a second or two. We’re not counting world leaders, are we?

25. If we were to look at the pictures in your phone, what am I likely to see? Mostly family and pets.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? If they are not checking for Ibuprofen, I'm good.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? Yes they have, a old aunt. Who knew the elderly could be so astute? 

28. What song is stuck in your head? None, thankfully!

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 AM, who do you want it to be? There is no one I know of that I want knocking on my window at 2:00 AM.

30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? I'm outta luck if I did.

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow. Have to? Not a damn thing and I love it.

32. Do you think too much or too little? Usually.

If you feel someone is going to out you

There aren’t as many questions as in the old days of blogging and that’s fine. As I said when you’ve been around a long time you’ve answered most of them. But still if you have any ask away. 

Roz said: I would be interested in your suggestions for dealing with being outed. 

Thanks, Roz.  I’m answering the first part of your comment today, I’m still thinking about the second.  I’ve given a lot of thought to the risk of ‘being outed’ over the years. When I first began the thought was terrifying. I mean this was my lifelong deep dark secret. The idea of people – my family, my school, my church, my friends knowing was unimaginable. Several things worked together to reduce and then wipe away these fears.

 

First was repeating to myself one of my father’s favorite saying. You wouldn’t worry so much about what people think of you if you realized how seldom they do.  Basically saying no one is spending time worrying about my particular kink, they’re too busy thinking about their own. I came to realize the truth in this statement.

 

Another help was the reaction of the first few people I told. They had the same reaction – surprise, amusement, total acceptance and underlying it all a complete lack of understanding of what spanking really means in my life. They just knew I enjoy being spanked and that the ability to open up to Nick and have him accepting my kink has made us a much happier couple.

 

And then of course, for me, being able to retire. It was small, but there was a slight chance of me losing my job for writing a spanko/sex blog. I didn’t spend a lot of time worrying about this, but it was a relief to not worry about it at all.

 

Right now, ask yourself these questions. Do you enjoy being spanked? Has bringing spanking into your relationship helped it? Do you feel closer to the one doing the spanking? Are you doing anything wrong? Are you hurting anyone? Is it anyone else’s business? If you can honestly give three yeses and three nos, then hold your head up high!

 

If someone is outing you stand tall and proud – even if you’re quaking and embarrassed on the inside, don’t show it. You have chosen something good for your relationship, so again, be proud! Treat that person as if they said that they didn’t like your choice of hair color. If you choose to engage with them at all tell them…

 

1.    You love it!

2.    It has brought beauty and happiness into your life.

3.    It’s none of their business

 

I think I would also avoid trying to explain in any way other than to possibly tell them it has spiced up your sex life. Leave it as a slightly kinky sex game in their mind. Some can barely grasp that, there is no need to go into ideas on dominance and submission. They won’t understand.

In looking back over some of my past post I came across one and thought it might be a good way to end this one.

What would I say if my ‘secret’ was to be discovered and I was confronted with it? Well, I remember an old episode from Star Trek, the Next Generation. In this show a woman from another 

planet was getting ready to marry a man from Earth, a rather conservative man. Her grow daughter had her doubts because of their differences. The final straw came when the mother showed her daughter the wedding dress. In total shock the daughter looked at her mother in and asked in an incredulous voice, “Mother! You can’t mean you are not going to be naked at your own wedding!” The actress was so good at delivering that line I found myself shocked that the bride would be wearing clothes.

So if anyone should ever say to me, ‘You don’t mean your husband spanks you!” I’ll look at them with shock and concern and say, “Of course he does! Doesn’t yours?”

I actually do know some things.

Baker reminded me that March is question month. After fifteen years of blogging, I guess I’ve answered every question you might have, whether you wanted to know the answer or not. But hopefully there are new readers all the time and I’m still happy to answer any questions you might have. I don’t pretend to be a know-it-all, but here are some things I do know a bit about in the vanilla world.

 

·      Raising a gay child. 

·      Child rearing in general (I like the way my kids turned out.)

·      Math up through the 6^th grade.

·      Relaxing and not letting things stress you out. (I can’t do this all the time, but I can most of the time.)

 

In the spanko world:

·      I understand the desire to be spanked – whether for play or punishment, I understand.

·      I understand the fear of coming out to the one you love – I have suggestions.

·      I understand the fear of being outed to your family and friends. And I have some suggestions as to what to say to them if that happens.

·      I know about many different implements and how sever they may be. I know great ones for beginners and for play and it know a few that should be avoid at all costs!

·      I know alternate forms of discipline (punishment) that are silent.

·      I know how to cope when TTWD goes out of your life.

 

One of my greatest loves now is writing, both blogging and my books.

 

·      I know how to write stories.

·      I know how to develop characters.

·      I can explain what little I know about actually publishing a book.

·      I can give suggestions for creating and maintaining a blog.

·      I can give suggestions for handling online trolls and hateful commenters.

 

*I do NOT know how you get to be a rich and famous author – we’ll need to ask Stephen King or E.L. James those question. But I can tell you how to have fun writing.

·       I also know the characters in my books. Should you have any questions about Cassie and Tom, Sue and Steve, Annie and Andy or maybe the younger couples Allie and Ryan or Jenny and Cal I’ll be happy to answer them. There is one question I’ve been waiting and waiting for someone to ask – but no one ever has. I guess I’ll keep waiting. 

Here are my areas of expertise – and I do use the term very loosely. I won’t tell you my full name, my address or my weight. But for anything else, ask away!

Better weather coming... I hope

I really enjoyed getting out and walking some today. It was 73 degrees and sunny. I had on long pants but shorts would have felt great. I know it’s not spring yet, but it still felt good. I hope warm weather is coming soon because Mollie has no heat. Her furnace stopped the other day. Grateful she does have a kerosene heater. She said the other day she felt like Little House on the Prairie getting up each morning and lighting the fire in this heater.

She called someone to come look at it, but of course she really couldn’t be there. I told her I’d be happy to come and be there to talk with them. The young man seemed very nice, but she needs a part. It all should be under warranty, but somehow that’s screwed by the people who sold her the house and anyway she'll have to pay for it. It’s going to be over $1,700 and that’s not fun for a single schoolteacher. She knows we’d help, but she says that’s not the way things are supposed to work. She has the money in savings, thank goodness, but I know that’s not how she hoped to spend it. In addition to this expense, they also told her that the part would usually come in within two weeks in the past, but now it could be anywhere from four and six months. I guess this is the world we’re living in at the moment.

 

While I was at her house, I got to spend some time with my granddogs. The oldest one is about four, and is such a sweet, delightful dog. And then there is the puppy. She is about a year old and, well let’s just say this picture is very accurate and we still have a long way to go…

Aarrrrgggg...

*Morningstar emailed with the suggestion to clear my history and reboot the computer. I think I’ve done that. I’ve cleared the history and the cache (at least I think I have) and I’ve turned the computer off and back on. But Blogger still won’t let me comment anywhere. I’m very frustrated. If anyone has a suggestion, please help!

 

Just a quick note. I can't answer my comments nor can I comment on anyone blog. If I try to comment somewhere else, it just disappears with no explanation. And when I try to answer my own comments here on the blog it give me a 'whoops, that's an error' page and tells me to try refreshing. 

I'll try doing what I usually do - cuss a little then wait for it to correct itself. But if you have any suggestion, please email - elisspeaks@yahoo.com

TBT - My best spanking rant

This was first posted sixteen years ago. I think it's one of the best posts I've ever written. It's no longer completely true for me - I really don't care who know my 'secret.' Being retired and older give me a 'screw you if you don't like it' feeling. But I'm aware it's still true for so many of us.

An email from a friend got me all stirred up about this topic so pardon me while I rant but I am just so mad. I want to know where the rest of the world gets off thinking that what we enjoy and the lifestyle we chose makes us some type of sicko that should not be accepted in polite society.

Many people enjoy massages; often they pay big bucks to have a stranger give them a massage. They talk about how good it felt and how relax they felt afterwards. If their friends, family and colleagues have any thoughts on the matter most would think, “Yeah, a massage would be great.” 

I hate massages! Often people I barely know come up behind me and start rubbing my shoulders. It hurts likes hell! I want to scream at them. If I say anything about not wanting them digging their digits into the muscles near my neck I get a strange look and something like, “You don’t like that? There must be something wrong with you. You are way too tense.”

I see people at the gym lifting weights so heavy they look as though they are going to tear a muscle. Runners and cyclist are taught to run or ride through the pain for the benefits on the other side. Huge men are paid bazillion dollars to slam into one another to get a ball moved down a field. All of these people are engaging in activities, by their own choice, that both hurt like hell and are activities that some others would never ever want to do. Yet they are considered normal. People will let them talk about what they enjoy doing and it’s even acceptable to encourage other to at least give it a try.

I enjoy being spanked. I love the sting, I love the afterglow, I love the achy soreness the next day, I love the feeling of release, I love the emotional closeness I feel with my husband, I love everything about it. Spanking is good for my physical, mental and emotional well being. I am not even encouraging others to try it. I am just saying it is a wonderful thing in my life.

So how come I would be the one to possible lose my job if my superiors were to discover that I blog about it. At best I could expect to be ridiculed, thought of as unnatural or perhaps perverted. It’s not fair. I am just as normal as those who like massages, lift weight, run or play football. But no, our desire is strictly taboo. I want to stand up and yell “I’m mad and I’m not going to take it anymore” instead I have to sit here and type “I’m mad and there is not a damn, friggin thing I can do about it!”

And if you don’t mind if I rant on, another topic we are discussing on our blog is about our sex life. This would also make our friends and family gasp in horror and heap embarrassment on us. Why? If I was reading blogs to improve my cardiovascular system that would be fine, if my boss or family found out they would be proud of me. I could ask all the question I wanted to and gathering all the information I could. But if I want to learn about my sexuality, if I want to learn more about this part of my body and how it works and ways to improve or enhanced the quality of an orgasm – oh my, heaven forbid! And speaking of heaven, God created our bodies and included in the female special added features strictly for pleasure having nothing to do with reproduction. So evidently He intended for us to enjoy this part of our lives. There is nothing wrong with researching how our bodies are supposed to work.

We are talking about sex and spankings on our blogs. I am not standing on the street corner yelling these things at folks that do not want to hear it. If you do not want to hear my opinions on these topics you wouldn’t have read this far. I know that none of us are embarrassed in the least by what we read or write yet we are all afraid of others finding out, because others won’t understand. I want my blog to remain a secret. Not only would I have to live with the embarrassment if it were discovered but my family would also. But if anyone I know does find my blog and tries to make me feel guilty or threats to tell others I am going to print off this post, shove it in their face and tell them to kiss my ass!

My friends, I thank you for allowing me a place for my rant. I knew I would be safe here.

Beware of eye surgery

Nick is having cataract surgery this week. I assumed this was a good idea until I sat and thought about it for a minute, and now I think it’s going to mess things up. The way I thought of it was that as I continued to age… the wrinkles, the sagging bod and all that goes with it was supposed to coincide with a gradual loss of perfect vision for Nick.

 

But now? He’s going to see perfectly while I continue to wrinkle and sag. Where is the fairness in this? Don’t tell me Nick is aging at the same rate I am. Nick never ages. The few wrinkles he has just makes his face more interesting. 

 

What if this is his before and after view…

Okay, these pictures may be a little extreme on both ends but... could someone please tell me where to send my complaints?

Where should Bullet live?

Let me tell you a little of Bullet’s situation. He wandered into our family about eight to ten years ago. He was a nice little stray and FIL let him stay. The little valley where my in-laws lived it a pretty place. There are other houses within sight of their house, but too far away to shout a greeting. Their church is across one field beside their house, the cemetery across the field in the back.

Not our mountains, but this gives you the feel.

Bullet is an outside dog – won’t come in even if we try to entice him. If you sit on the porch he’ll come sit on your lap and let you pet him. But he only stays there for a bit and then he’s off again. He has a nice doghouse on the back porch, deep with straw very warm. They house is on a dirt road with little traffic and across this dirt road is a bubbling creek. 

 

Bullet owns this valley. We think he eats at several of the houses, because, while he loves a treat, he pays little attention to his food when we feed him. He heads to the church every Sunday morning where most of those in the congregation bring him a treat. He's always so happy to see the family come on Sunday, running to greet us each separately. But just greeting us then running off again. He’s just a happy little dog.

 

But what now?

 

I’m not happy about the few homes that have been mentioned. One of Nick’s sisters would like to have him. But she’s an accountant and during tax season she’s gone from 7:00AM until 9:PM and while she has a fenced yard, it’s about the size of a postage stamp. I don’t want him there. One of the ladies who helped FIL would give Bullet a home, but she lives on a busy road. That doesn’t seem safe. Bullet has never been tied or fenced in any way. None of the five kids really has a good place for him.

My choice is, leave him right there in his valley. Let him stay there and play in the creek and chase rabbits and visit the church and the cemetery and make the rounds of all the places that feed him. I know for a fact there will be someone from the family up there at least twice every week. SIL play the piano for the church on Sunday and has choir practice on Wednesdays. I know she would be more than willing to feed him on those days. I’d be happy to go up and feed him once or twice a week. I don’t anticipate this home place being sold right away and I feel there will be people in and out frequently.

 

With the family still around to check on him several times a week and everyone in the valley knowing they could call any of us if they think he needs anything, am I crazy to vote to leave him right where he is? I really feel that Bullet would be happier there than anywhere else. 

Has LJ found a Unicorn?

I enjoyed this visit with LJ. We had a few days together and we got to just sit and talk for a lot of that time. One story he told me definitely got my attention. It’s not all settled but if it turns out as he things it will, he has truly found a unicorn.

They came home about two months ago to a notice on their apartment door saying the building was zoned as a factory and not for anything else. When he first said that my heart sank because I know how much they love this new place. They’ve been there less than a year. 

 

Thankfully NYC has extremely good tenant’s rights laws. The owner has to go to court and get the building put under the ‘Loft Law.’ I certainly don’t understand it all but basically no one in the building has to pay any rent until this is done. And once it’s done, the rent will go back to what it was five years ago and it will become a rent control building.

 

That’s the unicorn, the mystical, magical, almost unbelievable animal – a rent-controlled apartment in NYC with the rent rolled back to what it was in 2017. Plus not paying any rent until the owner brings the building under compliance. And who knows how slow the courts could be moving.

They weren’t required to pay rent for February, but the people in the eight units talked it over and they all paid February’s rent. They don’t dislike the owner, and everyone is putting their own rent away to show that they have it. But with the extraordinarily high rents there, if they can save even one month it would be wonderful. I'll let you know how it all turns out.

Peace

Sigh…We had the funeral Wednesday and I now feel very peaceful. FIL will be missed for a long time, but the worst is over. It was the sorrow and dread of knowing they were losing him over these past two weeks that was the worst. Now it’s happened and there is no more dread. At least that was the way I felt when I lost my parents.

 

Wednesday was a beautiful day. It was in the high forties, but it was sunny and no wind. The graveside service they decided on was perfect. FIL was an outdoorsman and the sitting there on the edge of the woods seemed way better than in a church. Nearly all the family was there and a few close friends too. But for me this was the best thing about the outdoor funeral.

FIL’s dog was able to attend. He greeted everyone with a tail wag and a smile. Twice during the service he jumped into Nick’s lap as he used to do with my FIL. For me the overall feeling of the was one of quiet celebration for this fine man. And little Bullet being there just made everyone feel better.

 

LJ was able to come home for the service. I was so happy to see him. He was a pallbearer along with his cousins and two of the great grandsons. Nick and I laughed as LJ pointed out that the pallbearers were evenly split – three gay, three straight. Not bad in that small conservative community. 

 

After the funeral the family all went back to FIL’s house, just down the hill from the cemetery. Their church and brought in a spread for the family and it was good being with everyone. LJ hadn’t seen some of his cousins in nearly ten years. And he’s not going back to NY until Saturday so I have some quiet days to visit with him.

 

I’m sure that there is a kind of sad happiness for my FIL’s kids. They know that they had a great dad and they had him way longer than most people get to have their dad. I hope that they feel good about the way they came to care for him as he got older. Everyone helped and they truly did a good job.

For us women

I saw this the other day and 

thought many of us could relate. 

Nick's dad passed away yesterday morning. Sadly, we all knew it was coming, but regardless of how old someone is it's hard to lose your dad. I know Nick and all the kids are sad, but there are there for each other. Those in the family that did contract Covid have had moderate symptoms and they are coming off quarantine today. I appreciate the prayers and support we've felt from blogland. Thank you all.

 

Update

Nick’s dad is still hanging in there, but he’s now under hospice care. Everyone knows he a tough old bird. He's in the covid ward at the hospital right now and his kids have still been going up and taking turn sitting with him. He doesn’t seem to know that they're there, but they know they're there.

Unfortunately, Covid doesn’t care about any of this. Nick’s older brother, who is currently undergoing radiation treatment for cancer has now tested positive for Covid and this morning one of his sisters did too. 

Nick was visiting there two days ago when he called me to tell me he'd had another kidney stone attack. When it rains… He’s fine now and thinks he might have passed a small stone. I’m wondering. No kidney stones throughout his life until four months ago, then he has a painful attack and after our eleven hours wait in the ER, they do a scan and saw nothing. They said it was most likely a stone based on his symptoms and a little blood in his urine. But NOTHING on the scan. Now another one formed within that four months? That just seems strange to me.

 

I haven’t been to see my FIL. I really don’t want to go to the hospital and visit in the covid ward. But the other daughters-in-law have gone. Nick doesn't want me to go and that decided it, but I don’t want the others to think I don’t care. I have offered to pick up groceries, medicine or fast food for those home with covid and deliver it to their doors. I feel I can pray for FIL as well right here in my house as I can at the hospital.

 

Not the most cheerful of updates. I’m grateful that at the moment both Nick and I are symptom free and praying we stay that way.